The problem is actually much simpler, I believe, than what most people are willing to admit.
No normal, healthy person (or abnormal and sick, truthfully) stays in a place that they feel is irrelevant to them and their life. Why would they, or should they? They are on the same journey all of us are on…trying to figure out this life we have and this world we have been placed in. No need to burn daylight with perceived irrelevancy.
So the question should be, why do they feel the Church is irrelevant to them and their lives?
In my experience, many (if not most) people find properties of the Catholic faith they can hang their hat on. Most people can’t get on board 100%, though. There are aspects of Catholic teachings that they just can’t, in good conscience (or for whatever reason) get behind.
So then what happens? If they are Church-goers, one of two things. Some will pray about it, try to learn more, humble themselves, and submit. Others (most, I believe), may pray about it, try to learn more, try to humble themselves, and decide “Nope. No–can-do”. That is when they exit.
It does no good to admonish, correct, or try to convince the people in the second group of how wrong they are. They understand. They just don’t believe everything 100%. Instead, they are often accused of “not understanding” (they understand just fine) or of “not being a good Catholic” (they are good and they are Catholic), etc. It isn’t loving, and it isn’t the way to foster growth in someone who “isn’t there quite yet”.
The solution is simple. To those who are Catholics, solid in their faith, and who engage those who arent, in that manner: “Quit doing that!” . It seems to be a cultural problem. Damage is often done on the level of individual relationships. Catholic-to-Catholic.
I think the more the Church can foster an environment of everyone being welcome, regardless of where they are in their state of Catholic development, or their state of accepting Church teachings, the better off and more rich the Church will be. This would mean the message received at Mass and Church functions is “We are so glad you came today. We love you.” Instead of whispers about whose marriage is valid or who should be receiving communion and who should stay in the pew. Who conceived via IVF. Or what about who attended the gay pride event or who doesn’t really believe in the sacrament of confession. We see this a lot here at CAF. A race to the top…who is the “most” Catholic. How terrible it is about those who aren’t Catholic “enough”. As I said, I believe it is cultural, not necessarily institutional. It is a shame, because so many are lost, when they may have otherwise stuck around. I am not suggesting the faith be watered down. I am suggesting that more effort is put in to accepting and allowing people to grow in their faith. It doesn’t happen overnight. It isn’t perfect until we take our last breath. It is a work in progress.
Young people don’t like to feel defeated. Especially in today’s world. They want to grow at a pace that is comfortable to them. I think it makes sense, especially where religion and faith are concerned.
