This occurred to me too. People enter and leave the US illegally every day.
I agree with this poster.Maybe you don’t know Islam. I’ve had the chance to know a wonderful woman (Italian-Swiss) and she married a non-practing muslim, and he became a Mormon (making also tha baptism) only to make her happy. After he comes back to islam and convinced to convert his wife. Beatings (also when she was pregnant) and bad words almost everyday. Islam give the right to the man to beat (it’s in the Quran, that I have and read it) you’re wife if he thinks that she are not so obedient, also teach that the mother have rights on its children only till they have 7y.o., after they’re a father properties. Many western man who marry devoted muslim women, must convert to islam also if they don’t believe in the religion beliefs because it’s a 100% patriarchal religion. So yes, you can cheat about your true religious beliefs very very well to obtain what you want. Islam and christianity have different beliefs about many things above all Jesus (holy books, and many other things) and it’s not absolutely negotiable deny (or put aside) the fulcrum of the Christian faith and celebrate (and say) words in which you proclaim that Muhammad is a God’s prophet and accept the islamic law.
You’re an atheist, so you don’t really understand that mixing two different faith, it’s not possible. There’s no compromise with God. Maybe you also don’t know how many male muslims kidnap their children and the mothers can’t make anything because they’re female and Christian. Read the book ‘Never without my daughter’. If a (devoted) muslim man marry a jew or a christian (he can), he MUST teach only Islam to the children. There aren’t 2nd options.
I hope that the original poster, will talk asap with a priest and a lawyer, and she must hide their passports so he’ll not have any chance to run away in Saudi Arabia. The divorce is always the last option but she must be very very careful and ‘study’ his behaviour. In the USA she’ll be protected and helped, outside NO.
ps: if there are errors, forgive me. My mother language is Italian…
The problem is that her husband isn’t having any of that “religious tolerance.” He’s not letting anyone in the family be exposed to other religions. He won’t let her or her children attend mass. If he let her practice her faith and let their children be exposed to both, that would be one thing. He is imposing a mandate on her and her children as to what they should believe and how they should worship. The situation sounds like a nightmare, and I feel very sorry for the OP.
Well said.
With respect, I disagree completely. There are very few places in the world where a Catholic spouse can have a happy marriage with a Muslim. India is one.
The fact that he is trying to stop your children being Christian/Cathiolic is very telling. People do “repent” and they can then become extremistsIf you want to stay in this marriage, you will have to ‘fight’ him all the way on this.
Both of your posts have been very sensible. Even after the OP came back and explained more everyone still seems to be riding the worst possible assumptions train, and it’s actually very uncharitable (and ignorant). Advice like “take the kids”, and say any lie you can think of against him" is really, really bad advice.
Yes, not very Muslim is evil and not every Christian is good. However, the realty is that today,Christians do not force their faith on anyone but this is done in Islamic states and most countries where Muslims are the majority.
No, what’s really bad advice is to get on the “meh, don’t worry about it” train and hope everything works out OK, because hey, at least you’re being reasonable about it.
If it involves protecting children, better to assume a monster and have a mouse, than to assume a mouse and have a monster. I hooesntly couldn’t care less about impugning the character of a guy who lied and is acting like a fraud and a jerk. Don’t want to be accused of misdeeds? Don’t break your vows.
No one is suggesting the OP not be careful. No one thinks she should let him take the kids to the Middle East! No one is suggesting she not legally protect herself. But the bottom line is that YOU CANNOT just take off with your kids! It’s kidnapping. If she divorces she would very likely only get 50% custody unless her husband can be proven to be abusive or neglectful. Then he will have access to them, alone mind you, all the time. The court doesn’t care that he changed religions or that he doesn’t want his kids to go to confirmation. They don’t care that he supposedly lied on his wedding day. They will look at him, and unless they see someone with a history of abuse, neglect, ongoing addiction, etc. he WILL have partial custody of his kids. Time that the OP has zero control over. I am pointing out that grabbing your children and leaving for what the court will view as religious reasons is going to go over like the Hindenburg in front of a judge. In fact, it may make her look like the nut. He will get a lawyer too, one who makes HER sound like a religious zealot and who wants to inhibit the kids’ relationship with their dad.
Its not about marrying a foreigner and its not about the West against the rest of the world. The Church is the universal church for all people.
This thought occurred to me too. A son may be seen in a different light than the two older daughters were.
Very true.
It depends on the custody laws of the state in which she lives. California is what you’ve described, but in many other states sole physical custody goes to the parent who has had the primary caretaker role. Many states do not permit joint physical or legal custody unless the parents can cooperate. My state is like that. It also allows for joint custody, but unequal parenting time, so as to not disrupt the children’s schedule. If they divorce, there is a good chance she’ll get custody and he’ll get visitation. The courts are not likely to enforce the religious preferences of the parents. Kids go to church with mom, but not when they are with Dad unless the parents agree.
Even if Mom gets primary physical custody, the kids will absolutely spend time every week alone with Dad.
