12 years of marriage as Catholics, my husband now wants to convert to being Muslim! Help!

[aTraditionalist]

Seira:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mariem2

Get a lawyer without delay and watch your children. If your children have passports, hide them.

This.

Lawyer, annulment, new residence in that order.

Posted from Catholic.com App for Android

 

[Mariem2]

once again, thank you so much for all your prayers.
My sweet baby boy was baptized this weekend. It was a fantastic day! My husband was right there going along with it all, the same he did with the children. I was shocked that he could tell me that he wants the kids to learn about Islam, but yet completely agree with everything the priest said at the baptism? The day couldn’t have been any better. I felt the unity as ALL of us being Catholic.
This whole thing just doesn’t make sense to me. He says that he will allow the kids to perform all their sacraments, as long as they learn about Islam. He’s the one who told me in the first place that practicing two religions would confuse them.
To this date, the only thing that I am aware that my husband has shown them is how to pray. According to my daughter (9 year old) she mentioned its a three step process and its sorta neat. Urgh!!! I didn’t want to make it a big deal and my comment back to her was “yes, different people have different ways of praying.” She doesn’t even know what Muslim/Islam is! She has never heard of it before.
I pray with my children every night. We say the Lord’s Prayer and thank God for the wonderful day and any speical intentions we have that night. My husband doesn’t know I do this every night b/c he is usually on the computer in the other room.
I have spoken with a priest and he has guided me in the way of the Church. The Church considers this marriage annuled. However, I did not marry my husband in the Catholic Church b/c I was already married in the Catholic Church and I had not went through the process (at the time) to have that marriage annuled.
I have spoken with an attorney that stated as regular family court- despite all the lies, I would get 50/50 custody. Because of this fact, I am now going to counseling (a priest that is a marriage/ family psychologist), my main focus is how I will cope with my husband wanting to be and practice Muslim and how I will maintain and strengthen my own spirituality and Catholicism, as welll as my Childrens.
I continue to pray the Lords Prayer, Hail Mary’s and pray that one day he will become a priest!:
Please continue with all your prayers.
Oh…and yes, I do believe once a Muslim, always a Muslim. In fact, I have been daily reading my bible and researching Islam in order to prove my facts! Occasionaly my husband has been up on a good arguement in regards to him knowing more about God than me. And, I am preparing to bring on the challenge with facts!

In all fairness, at the time of your “marriage” he was a Muslim pretending to the Catholic and you were a Catholic pretending to be what? If it wasn’t a Catholic marriage, the man wasn’t committing to raise his children Catholic unless he gave you some kind of promise in private. Nevertheless, you are in a difficult situation which is unlikely to improve as your son grows and his father - his primary male role model - teaches him by word and example all things Islamic. Good luck with that. Keep in touch with the priest and pray as though your life depended on it. I wish you well and I will keep praying for you.

 

[noclevername]

If your kids don’t have a passport, register your kids with the Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program. travel.state.gov/abduction/prevention/passportissuance/passportissuance_554.html

This puts all US passport agencies and US embassies on notice ifsomeone tries to obtain a passport for a minor who is registered in this program.

 

[JillianRose]

I am so sorry. You are in my prayers. Sounds like you have good advice.

I will try to find the link. This is not the first time I heard of a Muslim doing this with a Christian. Be proactive now, because I believe is this one story the mother never saw her children again. I don’t mean to scare you, but this is what you maybe dealing with.

Love,
Jill

 

[KathleenGee]

I am continuing to pray for you…So glad the baptism went well.

May be he should talk to a Catholic who knows both Catholicism and Islam very well and dialogue with him.

 

[all4mary]

After 12 years of knowing my husband as Catholic, my husband insists that he is now Muslim and that the kids will be too. He refuses to allow me to take the children to church, have a cross in the home or to do the sign of the cross. I just had a baby boy 3.5 months ago and this is when it all began. He refuses to let me baptize him and I am devistated. Nor will he let our 6 year old go through with her First Holy Communion next year.

I’m so lost right now and devistated by his irrational behvior.

My husband lied to me about being Catholic all these years. I have just found out by his family that he was born and raised Muslim. All his family live in Saudi Arabia and over the past year they have slowlly started to enter into our lives. I’m devistated that the foundation of our marriage was based on a lie. I’m doing everything I can to maintain happiness for my childrens sake, but my husband wants me to completely end the catholiciscm for the kids and begin the pathway to Islam. He wants me to do the same and I am adimant that I will not be open minded about this. Please help in anyway you can

Your not the first. My Cousin Cousin went to a catholic church for a youth party were she met a boy and he was at the church wearing a cross and everything. After he brained washed her he converted her to muslim. My aunts brother inlaws sister because she was so pretty a muslim man took her by force in marriage and she was taken because they threaten to burn the homes of christians in lebanon. To save them she went. You should never date someone without meeting there family first and go to there home especially if there from the middle east. Lebanese Christians use Aramaic in there Arabic. Example issa in plain arabic is jesus but for a lebanese christian we say yeasuh or yeshua. In christian homes you will always find an icon or statue of mary in most homes as most middle eastern Christians are either catholic or orthodox. We have protestants to but they don’t wear mary or have jesus on there cross and are a minority. But they to will have a plain cross in the home. If the family is christian they would know other christian families. Everyone knows every one in a middle eastern church. However all creeds are welcome but outsiders are recognized and the priest might ask who you are and who are your parents. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Don’t give up. If he married you catholic than you are catholic. Use the pardon prayer for him. I hope your daughter has her communion.

 

[all4mary]

After 12 years of knowing my husband as Catholic, my husband insists that he is now Muslim and that the kids will be too. He refuses to allow me to take the children to church, have a cross in the home or to do the sign of the cross. I just had a baby boy 3.5 months ago and this is when it all began. He refuses to let me baptize him and I am devistated. Nor will he let our 6 year old go through with her First Holy Communion next year.

I’m so lost right now and devistated by his irrational behvior.

My husband lied to me about being Catholic all these years. I have just found out by his family that he was born and raised Muslim. All his family live in Saudi Arabia and over the past year they have slowlly started to enter into our lives. I’m devistated that the foundation of our marriage was based on a lie. I’m doing everything I can to maintain happiness for my childrens sake, but my husband wants me to completely end the catholiciscm for the kids and begin the pathway to Islam. He wants me to do the same and I am adimant that I will not be open minded about this. Please help in anyway you can

Your not the first. My Cousin Cousin went to a catholic church for a youth party were she met a boy and he was at the church wearing a cross and everything. After he brained washed her he converted her to muslim. My aunts brother inlaws sister because she was so pretty a muslim man took her by force in marriage and she was taken because they threaten to burn the homes of christians in lebanon. To save them she went. You should never date someone without meeting there family first and go to there home especially if there from the middle east. Lebanese Christians use Aramaic in there Arabic. Example issa in plain arabic is jesus but for a lebanese christian we say yeasuh or yeshua. In christian homes you will always find an icon or statue of mary in most homes as most middle eastern Christians are either catholic or orthodox. We have protestants to but they don’t wear mary or have jesus on there cross and are a minority. But they to will have a plain cross in the home. If the family is christian they would know other christian families. Everyone knows every one in a middle eastern church. However all creeds are welcome but outsiders are recognized and the priest might ask who you are and who are your parents. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Don’t give up. If he married you catholic than you are catholic. Use the pardon prayer for him. I hope your daughter has her communion.

 

[qui_est_ce]

I have spoken with a priest and he has guided me in the way of the Church. The Church considers this marriage annuled.** However, I did not marry my husband in the Catholic Church b/c I was already married in the Catholic Church and I had not went through the process (at the time) to have that marriage annuled. **
I have spoken with an attorney that stated as regular family court- despite all the lies, I would get 50/50 custody. Because of this fact, I am now going to counseling (a priest that is a marriage/ family psychologist), my main focus is how I will cope with my husband wanting to be and practice Muslim and how I will maintain and strengthen my own spirituality and Catholicism, as welll as my Childrens.

So you are not in a valid marriage???

 

[joanofarc2008]

Have you spoken to your priest at this point? He could give you the best advice spiritually.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Have you spoken to your priest at this point? He could give you the best advice spiritually.

She has.

AmesLouise:

I have spoken with a priest and he has guided me in the way of the Church. The Church considers this marriage annuled. However, I did not marry my husband in the Catholic Church b/c I was already married in the Catholic Church and I had not went through the process (at the time) to have that marriage annuled.

 

[joanofarc2008]

She has.

Thank you. My apologies - I have been checking in but there have been many posts. I would say at this point then pack up and run. But then again I grew up in Boston so please don’t let my current shell shocked paranoia get the best of you.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Thank you. My apologies - I have been checking in but there have been many posts. I would say at this point then pack up and run. But then again I grew up in Boston so please don’t let my current shell shocked paranoia get the best of you.

Our actions have consequences.

 

[qui_est_ce]

Bump

What’s going on?

 

[AmesLouise]

Update on me!
I am currently still living with my husband. My children continue to go to Catholic school and we continue to go to church (minus my husband) on Sundays. My husband continues to pray the Muslim way daily and has not pushed the kids into learning about Islam. The kids do ask questions to him and he answers as a Muslim would answer in terms of their beliefs.
In regards to my marriage not being considered “real”. In the eyes of the Church, this is correct. And, considering my marriage was based on lies from the begining, it is also not “real” to me too. I have my reasons of not going through the annulment process, and considering the church required contact with my ex-spouse and he would know I was remarrying, I chose to not go through this process. That’s a whole other story in itself. And currently the least of my concerns.

My children:
9 year old: has been baptized and first holy communion.
6 year old: baptized and my husband has agreed that next year she can have her first communion.
6 mth old: baptized

I continue to see a priest/counselor two times per month. This has been the BEST thing for me! I really enjoy seeing him. He brings the reality to the table. I have chosen not to divorce my husband because I want to have as much control over my childrens daily influences in life. If I am not around, this gives my husband full control to teach the kids as he would like. He does not do these things when I am around.

My husband has told me that I am not allowed to have a cross up in my home. He states “It keeps the angels away.” So very sad for me to hear. However, he can’t control what I wear around my neck!

I am stronger in my faith today than I have ever been. It will be my faith that gets me through this. I do know that life with my husband will get real ugly. I feel that my challenges will be battling my husband with my son. He has already told me that he will not be going to Catholic schools. So, in about 5 years I will be challenging him on that.

I am the primary bread winner of the family and financially private schools are not an issue. however, he makes it sound like the reason our son won’t be going to a catholic school is for financial reasons. I absolutely refuse to raise our kids different!

There has been so many things occuring in the world with devastating destruction of human lives (ie- Boston) that sometimes I don’t even need to state why I disagree with the religion. However, I do realize these folks are extremists too…

My priest has guided me in the direction of influencing the children with positive thoughts in regards to Catholiciscm vs taking the approach of being negative towards the Islam ways.

Thank you for all your continued prayers. It means so much to me!

 

[qui_est_ce]

Update on me!
I am currently still living with my husband. My children continue to go to Catholic school and we continue to go to church (minus my husband) on Sundays. My husband continues to pray the Muslim way daily and has not pushed the kids into learning about Islam. The kids do ask questions to him and he answers as a Muslim would answer in terms of their beliefs.
In regards to my marriage not being considered “real”. In the eyes of the Church, this is correct. And, considering my marriage was based on lies from the begining, it is also not “real” to me too. I have my reasons of not going through the annulment process, and considering the church required contact with my ex-spouse and he would know I was remarrying, I chose to not go through this process. That’s a whole other story in itself. And currently the least of my concerns.

My children:
9 year old: has been baptized and first holy communion.
6 year old: baptized and my husband has agreed that next year she can have her first communion.
6 mth old: baptized

I continue to see a priest/counselor two times per month. This has been the BEST thing for me! I really enjoy seeing him. He brings the reality to the table. I have chosen not to divorce my husband because I want to have as much control over my childrens daily influences in life. If I am not around, this gives my husband full control to teach the kids as he would like. He does not do these things when I am around.

My husband has told me that I am not allowed to have a cross up in my home. He states “It keeps the angels away.” So very sad for me to hear. However, he can’t control what I wear around my neck!

I am stronger in my faith today than I have ever been. It will be my faith that gets me through this. I do know that life with my husband will get real ugly. I feel that my challenges will be battling my husband with my son. He has already told me that he will not be going to Catholic schools. So, in about 5 years I will be challenging him on that.

I am the primary bread winner of the family and financially private schools are not an issue. however, he makes it sound like the reason our son won’t be going to a catholic school is for financial reasons. I absolutely refuse to raise our kids different!

There has been so many things occuring in the world with devastating destruction of human lives (ie- Boston) that sometimes I don’t even need to state why I disagree with the religion. However, I do realize these folks are extremists too…

My priest has guided me in the direction of influencing the children with positive thoughts in regards to Catholiciscm vs taking the approach of being negative towards the Islam ways.

Thank you for all your continued prayers. It means so much to me!

You are certainly going through the test right now.

I hope the priest encourages you to regularize your marriage, though…

Prayers and :hug1:

 

[KathleenGee]

AmesLouise,

My heart went out to you. I married a foreigner, I wanted to be home with my children to give them faith in Christ. Soon after marriage, spouse tells me he has no beliefs. And for me to stay home, was making him my ‘brown slave’. There is a side to that culture from intermarriage who see the white woman leading the foreign man. We have been together for 33 years.

I found the solution that was to literally throw myself into my Catholic faith and all its strengths, to stay to protect my children and pass on the faith.

I found out from this book by the best counsellor on such marriages, that the best you can do for your family is to keep it together and be the best mother you can be. I am so happy you have gone to the priest.

I would think Mary of Fatima would be a good presence in your home, and to offer up all that you are and do as a sacrifice of love for Christ.

I pray that your husband be free of this bigotry against Christ and the cross.

Another idea would be to look at Secular Franciscans and see how the rule structures you to empty yourself, reject the world, and embrace the Cross – with joy. The fraternal life can be most helpful and a stabilizing force that you cannot get in a parish. You don’t share anything, may be with your formation director and spiritual advisor who is either priest or religious.

St. Francis did great good in protecting the Holy Land and enabling Christians to continue to make pilgrimages there with the Moslem rulers.

Mary of Fatima, frequent use of sacraments, visits with your priest, St. Francis’ Christianity of love of humanity and all creation.

I pray much blessing on you, your growth in sanctity, your children and your husband.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I think the priest is very wise. If you start talking down Islam, the kids might reject the Church because they love their Daddy. Best not to make it into a religious war from your side. You will be in my prayers.

 

[mayogirl25]

In my honest opinion I would tell you to just cut all ties and take your children and go. Save yourself and your children. Quite obviously your husband has taken a road which you don’t want to go down and don’t want your children to take. Go now and God Bless!

 

[AmesLouise]

I wish I could make that choice- take them and run. But, no state would allow me full custody of my children based on a dispute of religion. Thankfully, my husband is a good father, I just could never take my children’s father out of the picture for them. There are so many pros and cons to this situation. I’ve written them all out and can only take this situation one day at a time. I get to say the Lord’s Prayer with my children every night and if I were to divorce my husband, I would only be able todo this 50 percent of the time.
I know it does sound so much easier to take the kids and run, but there is so much more to it than that.
And yes, straightening out my previous marriage with the church is definitely on my to do list. My priest has encouraged me to do this at a later time.
I again thank all if you for your continued prayers, advice and encouragement. It means so much to me.

 

[mayogirl25]

Then you already know what you have to do and there is not much more point in asking for advice since you are already knowing what you are going to do. So do it.