12 years of marriage as Catholics, my husband now wants to convert to being Muslim! Help!

[mrajax]

I grew up in Fremont, CA which has one of the highest concentration of Muslims in the USA outside of Dearborn. I’m very familiar with Islam and not every Muslim man is a hateful wife-beater who kidnaps children. The book (and movie with Sally Fields) you’re thinking of is “Not Without My Daughter”, and it’s completely hysterical anti-Muslim propaganda.

And you certainly can mix religions and show religious tolerance, ask any Baha’i. Most of the Muslims I’ve known have been involved in mixed religious marriages. If you are a fanatic Catholic you’re going to have problems with your family following any other religion, not just Islam. If you’re not a fanatic, you should have no problems exposing your children to other faiths. I attend my friend’s Passover seder every year. I go to Christmas Mass every year too, and I’ve also celebrated Ramadan (not every year though). Still an atheist.

Fanatic catholic simply because they attend Mass every week and don’t bow down to the god of any religion? And I disagree oh so much that any devout Catholic should have no problems exposing his children to other faiths. As a Catholic, would I want my child to become an atheist? I’m not someone who thinks being an atheist makes you a bad person but I don’t want my child to deny God and the morals He established. I don’t want my child to follow morals I deem bad or faiths I deem illogical. You attend all that every year? Good for you but we’re not atheists and there is a huge diffirence between tolerating and respecting other religions and bowing down to them.

And did you notice what the OP even said? Her husband is forcing his religion on her and the children. If the children are catohlic and want to stay that way, let them. This isn’t a problem that can be fixed out of your perverted sense of ‘religious tolerance’. With those words, you’re not caring for the feelings of the OP and frankly, I don’t think telling your wife you were catholic whilst really being Muslim is nice. Either way, this is a family problem not merely a religious one. Everyone should stop all discussion of religious tolerance and other stuff we don’t really care about right now and get to the root of the problem.

 

[jttierney1]

AmesLouise, my suggestion would be to Google “taqiyya” …long story short, it means lying for Islam, which is taught in the Koran. Your “husband” has now proven he is willing to ingage in such acts and you will be greatly mistaken to trust him from this point forward!

My heart and prayers go out to you!

Peace in Christ!

 

[AmesLouise]

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. I wish I was able to directly respond to each and every one of you.
I spoke with a priest today. He put me at ease with my thoughts. I have been so confused as to the direction I could take and he helped me narrow things down to one thing at a time. The one thing that he said that put me at ease was that all he needed was one parent consent to baptize my child and to have my daughter receive Holy Communion. He said if he objects, bring them to me.
So, first things first. My husband has allowed my son to be baptized. He will be baptized in two weeks. I have purchased his outfit and my husband hasn’t said a word.
One thing I realize after talking to the priest today is that I cannot change my husbands beliefs and even if he decided to one day come back to Cathoilicism, he will likely never be cleansed of the Muslim beliefs. He is from a country that in all reality has “brain washed” him into the beliefs of the Quran being the only way. This is really hard for me to accept. Really hard…
I wish I had the answers for everything, but I do know that choosing to stay with him is bringing ME on a journey that I really am scared to know. However, divorcing him brings MY CHILDREN on a journey that could be scary for them without me there. So, as of now, despite all the lies (that he has yet to admit to), I have chosen to stay with him and try real hard for my children.
One thing I am confident on more than anything is that I will NEVER lose site of my own beliefs as a Catholic. And secondly, I need to start writing this journey of my life so that one day my children will know the battle I have fought to maintain their happiness in life.
Please, continue to pray for me. I will continue to bring updates as they arrise.
Oh…and I will be checking out that book (on my kindle of course) Francis and the Muslims. It’s sad that the only way I read my bible these days is on my kindle too. It shouldn’t have to be this way.

 

[allhers]

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. I wish I was able to directly respond to each and every one of you.
I spoke with a priest today. He put me at ease with my thoughts. I have been so confused as to the direction I could take and he helped me narrow things down to one thing at a time. The one thing that he said that put me at ease was that all he needed was one parent consent to baptize my child and to have my daughter receive Holy Communion. He said if he objects, bring them to me.
So, first things first. My husband has allowed my son to be baptized. He will be baptized in two weeks. I have purchased his outfit and my husband hasn’t said a word.
One thing I realize after talking to the priest today is that I cannot change my husbands beliefs and even if he decided to one day come back to Cathoilicism, he will likely never be cleansed of the Muslim beliefs. He is from a country that in all reality has “brain washed” him into the beliefs of the Quran being the only way. This is really hard for me to accept. Really hard…
I wish I had the answers for everything, but I do know that choosing to stay with him is bringing ME on a journey that I really am scared to know. However, divorcing him brings MY CHILDREN on a journey that could be scary for them without me there. So, as of now, despite all the lies (that he has yet to admit to), I have chosen to stay with him and try real hard for my children.
One thing I am confident on more than anything is that I will NEVER lose site of my own beliefs as a Catholic. And secondly, I need to start writing this journey of my life so that one day my children will know the battle I have fought to maintain their happiness in life.
Please, continue to pray for me. I will continue to bring updates as they arrise.
Oh…and I will be checking out that book (on my kindle of course) Francis and the Muslims. It’s sad that the only way I read my bible these days is on my kindle too. It shouldn’t have to be this way.

I bolded the above, what you said about reading the Bible on your kindle. On post #85 in this thread you stated that your husband started praying, the Muslim way, and wants your children to be exposed to that 5 times a day.

So, are you saying that you have to HIDE your Religion from him (and the children?)

Because if that is the case, then what you said above, your last sentence is true. (It shouldn’t have to be this way.)

I would pray the Rosary together with my children daily, out loud and in front of him, and for him. If he wants them exposed to his way of praying, you also need them exposed to our way. I would never hide my faith from anyone for any reason.

I will definitely keep your family in my prayers.

(I don’t know if anyone mentioned this to you or not, I didn’t read the whole thread. There was a movie a few years ago with Sally Field titled “Not without my daughter.” You ought to watch it. It was a real eye opener. You won’t want to watch that in front of him though, he wouldn’t like it or like you seeing it. It might help you.)

 

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[ericc]

After 12 years of knowing my husband as Catholic, my husband insists that he is now Muslim and that the kids will be too. He refuses to allow me to take the children to church, have a cross in the home or to do the sign of the cross. I just had a baby boy 3.5 months ago and this is when it all began. He refuses to let me baptize him and I am devistated. Nor will he let our 6 year old go through with her First Holy Communion next year.

I’m so lost right now and devistated by his irrational behvior.

My husband lied to me about being Catholic all these years. I have just found out by his family that he was born and raised Muslim. All his family live in Saudi Arabia and over the past year they have slowlly started to enter into our lives. I’m devistated that the foundation of our marriage was based on a lie. I’m doing everything I can to maintain happiness for my childrens sake, but my husband wants me to completely end the catholiciscm for the kids and begin the pathway to Islam. He wants me to do the same and I am adimant that I will not be open minded about this. Please help in anyway you can

Sorry to hear this. I am from a predominantly muslim country. Perhaps you may want to get yourself up to speed on stuff about Islam so that when the opportunity comes, you are able to convince him that there are many facets of Islam he may not be clued in. I found Father Zakaria, a Coptic priest, take on Islam very enlightening. You can find videos of him on Youtube too.

youtube.com/watch?v=FE-wkZR_r2I. This was my first video of him and there are many more.

fatherzakaria.net.

To download his pdf books, do a Right-click Save link as …

 

[RACJ]

After 12 years of knowing my husband as Catholic, my husband insists that he is now Muslim and that the kids will be too. He refuses to allow me to take the children to church, have a cross in the home or to do the sign of the cross. I just had a baby boy 3.5 months ago and this is when it all began. He refuses to let me baptize him and I am devistated. Nor will he let our 6 year old go through with her First Holy Communion next year.

I’m so lost right now and devistated by his irrational behvior.

My husband lied to me about being Catholic all these years. I have just found out by his family that he was born and raised Muslim. All his family live in Saudi Arabia and over the past year they have slowlly started to enter into our lives. I’m devistated that the foundation of our marriage was based on a lie. I’m doing everything I can to maintain happiness for my childrens sake, but my husband wants me to completely end the catholiciscm for the kids and begin the pathway to Islam. He wants me to do the same and I am adimant that I will not be open minded about this. Please help in anyway you can

You take that baby of YOURS, and get him baptized. That fraud husband of yours in still in America, and he does not rule over you. Stand up for yourself, AND your son immediately. Hugs, Rob:hug1:

 

[KathleenGee]

Hello Dear Friend AmesLouise…I am reflecting these days about your husband and you.

Should we say that the real problem is the family…if you have had a good marriage up to then???

I mean, I think it admirable that he has gotten along with you, has been a wonderful husband all these years. So may be you and he should get a counsellor and step back and identify the source of the problem and at same time…see how damaging it is to you, a Christian and to your children in consideration of the slant of this form of Islam.

Another idea came up to me…have your husband check out:

www.newageislam.com This is a site that is mostly…mostly committed to restoring the golden age of Islam when reason was in use, when Arab scholars were drawing on their branch of Aristoltelian philosophy. It was stopped because the imams were afraid Aristotle, et al, would bring about a loss of faith in God.

St Thomas Aquinas totally removed that fear when he used God as the cause and we and creation God’s effect. God is the Unmoved Mover. Also besides restoring the value and use of reason within Islam, they are equally committed to restoring the rights and dignity of women. Our understanding of God can be compared to the eye of an owl next to the sun. Consider the eye of an owl one that only works in darkness. Next to God we cannot comprehend hardly anything.

Considering your husband has a history of being reasonable and supportive of you, why not tell him your friend Kathleen asks him to look at this site, New Age Islam, and see the movement of humanitarianism within Islam. These Muslims of reason and moderation are likewise suffering very much. I have shared a few posts when some Muslims, who are on the same page with them, will also say something that is incorrect about Christianity in general or Catholicism in particular, and they are very open to allowing others’ comments.

So if he spends time there, it may be of great help. Let your husband know I am praying for him, and have Christ’s love for him.

 

[KathleenGee]

Likewise, the immigration center has been receiving a deluge of problem reports by individuals marrying foreigners here in the USA. American men are wed for their money and they end up being displaced by the foreign born coming into the home and displacing him and speaking their own language all the time in front of them.

The women, especially white, are really put down to put them in their place, as there is alot of an envy of some sort thinking we women have it so good compared to other countries.

All this behavior is a sign of spiritual poverty and their own sense of racial feelings. Racism is not a white man’s sin but it is every where. I have found the most courteous and polite people who treat people properly, including women, have more prosperous countries.

I find that when men mistreat and downgrade women, their countries are not so prosperous.

The real problem of course is sin and ignorance.

We are living in very bad times and we are reading about the signs about us. We must be ready every day.

Also in reading St. Francis, there is great strength in spiritual poverty. And he chose to be rid of all things. St. Francis is truly the saint and guide for our times.

God bless you and your husband and your little baby boy!

 

[Sheeniac]

I saw some misinformation about divorce on this thread. Someone posted that he would get 50% custody of the children. This is not necessarily true.

There are 2 types of custody - physical and legal. 50-50 is not that common, and depends on your state. I could go on and on about the hows and whys, but I’m not an attorney and what I say may not be applicable.

Unfortunately, my sister is going through a nasty custody battle for her kids, and I know more than I have ever wanted to know.

My suggestion would be to consult with a divorce attorney. However, skip the ‘free consultation’ - that’s typically 15-30 minutes and is geared at those most likely divorcing. Be prepared to pony up the money for a full hour consultation with an attorney specializing in this situation. Not sure how you’d find one - you might want to ask for a referral from your state Bar Association.

I am not suggesting divorce (although I would probably get one, based on what you posted), but it’s better to get all the information you can now, before you need it. I will pray for you.

 

[KathleenGee]

I think the other problem AmesLouise, is that of your great suffering and it is most understandable and I have been there as well.

Christ is with us, He is among us. And when you have such a terrible fear, that is not the working of Christ’s will. I find when I had gotten threats…to put fears in me, it was bluff. I could not get the strength no matter what and the threats were shattering.

Christ will give you the strength when you are going in the right direction.

Back to St. Francis and suffering. Another thing is to study the life of Francis. There is a new book out on the words of St. Francis without the liberation theology class warfare spin.
St. Thomas of Celano was his first biographer who accurately portrayed him. But the first book I mentioned really shows how much Francis embraced poverty, and yes, he is inimitable to practically all people.

But he and his faith and example are here for us.

Also coming up is Divine Mercy Sunday. There is a novena attached. Each day you pray for a certain class of people and then on Divine Mercy Sunday, going to confession within 8 days before or after, your soul is made new, like the very first day of your baptism.

There is a prayer by Sr Faustina to Mother Mary and in regards to suffering, and how there are people who hide their malice with the veil of religion. I do not think your husband has been like that for the past 12 years. You have to hold on to that person you know and not the one being manipulated and inherently threatened by his family.

Sr Faustina in her reflections states we do not know the value of suffering until we are in heaven.

You make an act of faith you will not lose your children. Believe it. Go to your pastor. That dilemma was on my first born. I woke up with a nightmare as there are children who go there to the foreign country to visit and don’t come home or if they do, they are alienated from their parent, usually the mother and don’t care for her anymore but for the clan. I immediately called my pastor and I experienced Christ in him. He right away told I would not lose my child. She is now grown up and I get compliments in how well she was raised.

Note that it is the Franciscans who saved the Holy Land and protect the sacred sites…yes they are shared. But Francis established that with the Muslims there.

Again, with Francis, it is first not to be afraid and to not cling to your life but to Jesus and His Cross. Another, is that claim to joy. When you wake up, pray out, ‘Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad’. Pray it out loud. Pray it in front of your husband.

We have to get beyond the shock and fear to encounter Christ. We must embrace the Cross and most of all have faith.

Do not see the Muslim faith as Satan. Again, look at New Age Islam site and note they are people of faith, reason, and tolerance. What you are seeing is an aberration of humanity, just like I have experienced, an exception.

Turn to Mary for strength of suffering and consecrate your children to the Immaculate Heart of Mary and bind them with the recitation of the Rosary. Do you have images and statues of Jesus and Mary in your home? Do you use holy water? Sprinkle holy water and blessed salt, and pray the prayer to St. Michael composed by Pope Leo, a simple prayer.

And get into Christian fellowship for strength of faith. When you become isolated, then yes, it gives fire to that which is wrong.

God bless you!!!

 

[VanSensei]

God bless your husband for converting to Islam and another side of the Abrahamic covenant.

But shame on him for not seeing your side of it.

 

[AmesLouise]

I should clarify that my meaning of Satan being in my home is not to refer to Muslim. I’m referring to the meaning of Satan causing a division between my husband and I. My husband is not a very nice person to me since this opening up about him being Muslim. He makes comments that “a wife should respect their husband and if I read the Quran that I would learn that.”

 

[ephesians4]

God bless your husband for converting to Islam and another side of the Abrahamic covenant.

Just to clarify, are you saying you approve of someone converting to a religion which denies Jesus Christ as the Son of God when they had professed Catholicism, or not?

 

[AmesLouise]

NO, I do not approve!!! It makes me nauseated to think I married him thinking we believed the same thing when all along we didn’t.

 

[ephesians4]

I married him thinking we believed the same thing.

:imsorry: I can’t begin to adequately explain how sorry I feel for you in this. The transgression there is just unbelievable. My God guide you and protect you and yours in survival and in the fate of your souls.

I will pray for you.

 

[AmesLouise]

:imsorry: I can’t begin to adequately explain how sorry I feel for you in this. The transgression there is just unbelievable. My God guide you and protect you and yours in survival and in the fate of your souls.

I will pray for you.

Thank you! I really appreciate your prayers so much!

 

[LilyM]

I should clarify that my meaning of Satan being in my home is not to refer to Muslim. I’m referring to the meaning of Satan causing a division between my husband and I. My husband is not a very nice person to me since this opening up about him being Muslim. He makes comments that “a wife should respect their husband and if I read the Quran that I would learn that.”

And a husband should love his wife as Christ loved the Church, up to and including benng willing to give his life for her, which includes keeping promises to her to allow children to be raised Catholic. Because truth and keeping one’s word are important.

If he read the Bible he would know that - and I’d be surprised if the Quran doesn’t teach that one should keep one’s promises and treat one’s wife with kindness and respect.

 

[Mariem2]

I should clarify that my meaning of Satan being in my home is not to refer to Muslim. I’m referring to the meaning of Satan causing a division between my husband and I. My husband is not a very nice person to me since this opening up about him being Muslim. He makes comments that “a wife should respect their husband and if I read the Quran that I would learn that.”

To be perfectly honest, if I were in your shoes I would be working on an exit strategy and I would use whatever knowledge I had of your husband’s past transgressions and whatever supporting evidence I could accumulate to keep my children. Better to do it now before he whittles away your self confidence and before he succeeds in completely undermining you in front of your children. Whatever about your daughters who had learned to show you respect until your husband’s decision to reveal his commitment to Islam, what are the chances of your son ever learning to respect you if he grows up seeing his father disrespecting you in your own home? Time to stop beating about the bush - get the best lawyer you can afford.

 

[VanSensei]

Just to clarify, are you saying you approve of someone converting to a religion which denies Jesus Christ as the Son of God when they had professed Catholicism, or not?

Some people find different truths than the one they were originally exposed to.