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4tomorrow
Guest
Thank you all.
I’m still hurting so much…
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I’m still hurting so much…
D
dulcissima
Guest
Would you consider it a blessing to realize that your marriage is not valid and that he is not your husband? I am not sure if that would make you feel better or only lonelier. I know it would make me feel better. As soon as my divorce is finalized, I am going to seek an annulment. I just so want the truth to be known.
I just really want you to go and talk to a priest, as soon as you can. You have so much healing to do. The church can help you in so many ways.
I just really want you to go and talk to a priest, as soon as you can. You have so much healing to do. The church can help you in so many ways.
K
katybird
Guest
Go to your mother… this is accepting help, which you need to do.
Speak to a counselor at your college about dropping the class. All you have to say is, “Due to some problems in my marriage, and for my daughter’s safety, we have to move to my mother’s house so I can’t attend classes right now.” You don’t have to give a lot of details. The counselor should be utterly sympathetic and s/he’ll know exactly what the rules are regarding the federal grant. The very worst that will happen is that maybe there’s some rule about having to pay back the grant. Don’t let that deter you. Ask God to help you.
Your husband has succeeded in making you feel bad about yourself - so you feel that you don’t deserve God’s mercy. The Evil One has been using your husband to keep you from approaching God and accepting the help so freely offered by the Body of Christ, His Church.
The more you feel like you have no right to ask for God’s mercy in the form of material help from His Church, the more this proves that you NEED IT. It’s like someone saying, “Oh, I could never go to a hospital. Hospitals are all about health, and I’m very sick. A sick person like me can’t expect a health institution to accept me.” If you feel like a sinner, remember that Church is for sinners just as hospitals are for sick people. We are ALL sinners. NONE OF US DESERVE GOD’S MERCY. That’s why Jesus died on the cross for us.
Think of Jesus dying on the Cross. Think of all the saints and martyrs who have suffered in order to help others and to bring the Good News to those who need it. If it’s possible to be frustrated in Heaven, you can be sure they’re going, “Oh, come ON! That’s what we died for! Go talk to a priest!”
Go to your mother. Let her help you. Her heart is breaking for you and she will be HAPPY to help you. Likewise, the Saints in Heaven and in the Church here on Earth are overjoyed to help you. Now, you can’t exactly expect them to hand you an envelope full of cash… unfortunately, there are scammers in the world who will cynically abuse charity. The way to approach the priest is to just tell him what’s in your heart. His first duty will to be to comfort you spiritually - probably by offering you reconciliation and absolution via confession. Unless he’s totally clueless, he should also recognize that you may need some material help. Pray about this. That particular parish may or may not give you diapers or a bag of groceries, but yo ucan be sure that by returning to Mass and the sacraments, while praying for God to help you, you will be on the receiving end of whatever various parishioners, programs, and agencies can offer.
I’m glad you can post here and get encouragement. God is already helping you. He won’t let you down.
I’ll repeat again: one year from now, you will be happier than you were a year ago. I PROMISE you that you’ll see what I mean if you just keep praying and trusting.
Speak to a counselor at your college about dropping the class. All you have to say is, “Due to some problems in my marriage, and for my daughter’s safety, we have to move to my mother’s house so I can’t attend classes right now.” You don’t have to give a lot of details. The counselor should be utterly sympathetic and s/he’ll know exactly what the rules are regarding the federal grant. The very worst that will happen is that maybe there’s some rule about having to pay back the grant. Don’t let that deter you. Ask God to help you.
Your husband has succeeded in making you feel bad about yourself - so you feel that you don’t deserve God’s mercy. The Evil One has been using your husband to keep you from approaching God and accepting the help so freely offered by the Body of Christ, His Church.
The more you feel like you have no right to ask for God’s mercy in the form of material help from His Church, the more this proves that you NEED IT. It’s like someone saying, “Oh, I could never go to a hospital. Hospitals are all about health, and I’m very sick. A sick person like me can’t expect a health institution to accept me.” If you feel like a sinner, remember that Church is for sinners just as hospitals are for sick people. We are ALL sinners. NONE OF US DESERVE GOD’S MERCY. That’s why Jesus died on the cross for us.
Think of Jesus dying on the Cross. Think of all the saints and martyrs who have suffered in order to help others and to bring the Good News to those who need it. If it’s possible to be frustrated in Heaven, you can be sure they’re going, “Oh, come ON! That’s what we died for! Go talk to a priest!”
Go to your mother. Let her help you. Her heart is breaking for you and she will be HAPPY to help you. Likewise, the Saints in Heaven and in the Church here on Earth are overjoyed to help you. Now, you can’t exactly expect them to hand you an envelope full of cash… unfortunately, there are scammers in the world who will cynically abuse charity. The way to approach the priest is to just tell him what’s in your heart. His first duty will to be to comfort you spiritually - probably by offering you reconciliation and absolution via confession. Unless he’s totally clueless, he should also recognize that you may need some material help. Pray about this. That particular parish may or may not give you diapers or a bag of groceries, but yo ucan be sure that by returning to Mass and the sacraments, while praying for God to help you, you will be on the receiving end of whatever various parishioners, programs, and agencies can offer.
I’m glad you can post here and get encouragement. God is already helping you. He won’t let you down.
I’ll repeat again: one year from now, you will be happier than you were a year ago. I PROMISE you that you’ll see what I mean if you just keep praying and trusting.
J
jules11
Guest
4tomorrow,
I’ve read your posts and I know you are in so much pain right now, but the best thing you can do is come back to the church.
Ask for help like the other posters said. You are not alone and there will be people that would be happy to help.
Please don’t shut yourself away from the world. You’ll only sink deeper into depression. Talk to people. Talk to a priest. If they can’t help, keep looking until you find one that can help.
God knows the pain you are going through. The lonlieness. He knows how scared you are. He sees every tear that falls from your eyes. He’s watching and loving you. He’s holding you in His arms. HE LOVES YOU more than any human can.
Ask Him to be the husband you don’t have. The father your daughter needs. Ask Him to provide for you and look after you and put good people in your path to help you. HE WILL.
He knows your suffering and He WILL alleviate it. Put ALL YOUR TRUST IN HIM. He will NEVER let you down. But keep asking Him and don’t give up. HE ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYERS.
Get a bible and read the Psalms.
They are full of petitions for help, of misery, lonliness and pain. But they all end with, ‘God will be my strength…’, 'God will save me…'or something similar about how God comes to our aid.
Rely on God, put all your trust in HIM!
I know exactly where you are coming from as I have been there myself but I received incredible comfort in knowing that God was there, loving me all through the suffering. All I had to do was accept His will for me. Know that wherever my life was at any time, that was where God wanted me to be.
We will be praying for you and I really hope that you will keep reaching out for help as you have on here. There are many people that care.
God bless you and I will say a rosary for you tonight.
I’ve read your posts and I know you are in so much pain right now, but the best thing you can do is come back to the church.
Ask for help like the other posters said. You are not alone and there will be people that would be happy to help.
Please don’t shut yourself away from the world. You’ll only sink deeper into depression. Talk to people. Talk to a priest. If they can’t help, keep looking until you find one that can help.
God knows the pain you are going through. The lonlieness. He knows how scared you are. He sees every tear that falls from your eyes. He’s watching and loving you. He’s holding you in His arms. HE LOVES YOU more than any human can.
Ask Him to be the husband you don’t have. The father your daughter needs. Ask Him to provide for you and look after you and put good people in your path to help you. HE WILL.
He knows your suffering and He WILL alleviate it. Put ALL YOUR TRUST IN HIM. He will NEVER let you down. But keep asking Him and don’t give up. HE ALWAYS ANSWERS PRAYERS.
Get a bible and read the Psalms.
They are full of petitions for help, of misery, lonliness and pain. But they all end with, ‘God will be my strength…’, 'God will save me…'or something similar about how God comes to our aid.
Rely on God, put all your trust in HIM!
I know exactly where you are coming from as I have been there myself but I received incredible comfort in knowing that God was there, loving me all through the suffering. All I had to do was accept His will for me. Know that wherever my life was at any time, that was where God wanted me to be.
We will be praying for you and I really hope that you will keep reaching out for help as you have on here. There are many people that care.
God bless you and I will say a rosary for you tonight.
R
Robaynne
Guest
DO NOT PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD ANYMORE. Go to your mother it is what you need right now. Can you not continue with your studies at another institution in the area where you mother lives. Can you not get credits for the subjects that you have done already.
Stop allowing your husband to suck the life out of you he has been doing it for so many years. He is not going to change as long as he is aware that whatever he does out there he can come running back to you and you will take him back with open arms. What is he doing about his drug problem. Are you prepared to go back to the abuse that you were living with all these years.
This was said to me once by a very good friend of mine and it really hurt at the time and I was so angry with her and did not speak to her for a very long time. But came to realise what she said was true.“DO I LIKE WALKING AROUND WITH A BLUE EYE AND BRUISED BODY. DO I LIKE BEEN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I DO BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOLERATED IT FOR 8 YEARS OF THE 12 YEARS THAT YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER”. I stayed for a long time and even hoped that things would work out until he left me for a much younger women. I was afraid, scared how was I going to manage. But with the grace of God I did I found peace with him. I will never take my husband back no matter what. I have prayed about this and asked God what is the right path for me and I came to realise that my Ex was not the right path for me. Now I am not afraid anymore, more confident in myself and believe that I am worthy. I had not felt that way in a long time.
I wish that you can make a fresh start this man is not for you. You are praying for answers and you are getting them but not acting on them. You are struggling to get a place to stay your mother offers for you to come back home and the first thing you worry about is HIM. What about Anna what about what is best for her. Do you want her to grow up with a drug addict abusive man who will never change. Is he even making the effort to change. Do you want Anna growing up thinking that this is an exceptable life to live that my father did it and my mother lived with it. I did not want that for my kids. Why should they grow up in an environment whereby their father is hitting their mother and the next day he is all loving with flowers ect. Shouting and screaming at me and the next you are so sorry but the next week I am back to been verbally and physically abused. Living on anti-depressants, going to see the Psychiatrist every six months, been hospitalised for depression and anxiety.
We have been separated since Oct 05 and since Jan 06 I have not been to see the psychiatrist have not been on medication. God had guided me in the right direction. And he shows me in so many ways the right path. The loneliness that I was feeling it is not so bad anymore because I am not lonely I have God in my life and the Bible and religious books. Most of all wonderful friends the same friend who I had a falling out with because of what she said is the same friend who came to me at my most weakest point in my life. Whereby I felt like I did not want to live anymore and wanted to Die that I thought taking an overdose would be the best thing. If I had succeeded who would have looked after my children the same abuser and his teenage girlfriend. But most of all the abuser he will never change he will always be the way he is he can pretend to go to church faithfully but in the same breath is committing adultery and living with a women when he is not divorced.
So here is some strong advice “TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT”:
WAKE UP BEFORE IT IS TO LATE. YOUR HUSBAND WILL NEVER CHANGE HE HAS NOT DONE SO ALL THESE YEARS HE NEVER WILL NOW. HE IS NOT THE SEE ALL BE ALL AND END ALL OF LIFE. THERE IS LIFE AFTER HIM. AND GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT A MAN WHO IS GOING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU. 4TOMORROW THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME SINCE BEFORE EVEN ANNA WAS BORN.
Eventually your family and friends getting tired of hearing about he same story over and over again and they keep telling you the same advice and you never listen. I know this from experience my family and I never spoke to each other for over a year. My friends got tired of hearing about how my husband beat me today or how he said this and this. They said to me there is protection orders there is resources out there that can help me so why am I bothering to complain to them and when they try to help I never listen.
Stop allowing your husband to suck the life out of you he has been doing it for so many years. He is not going to change as long as he is aware that whatever he does out there he can come running back to you and you will take him back with open arms. What is he doing about his drug problem. Are you prepared to go back to the abuse that you were living with all these years.
This was said to me once by a very good friend of mine and it really hurt at the time and I was so angry with her and did not speak to her for a very long time. But came to realise what she said was true.“DO I LIKE WALKING AROUND WITH A BLUE EYE AND BRUISED BODY. DO I LIKE BEEN PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I DO BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOLERATED IT FOR 8 YEARS OF THE 12 YEARS THAT YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER”. I stayed for a long time and even hoped that things would work out until he left me for a much younger women. I was afraid, scared how was I going to manage. But with the grace of God I did I found peace with him. I will never take my husband back no matter what. I have prayed about this and asked God what is the right path for me and I came to realise that my Ex was not the right path for me. Now I am not afraid anymore, more confident in myself and believe that I am worthy. I had not felt that way in a long time.
I wish that you can make a fresh start this man is not for you. You are praying for answers and you are getting them but not acting on them. You are struggling to get a place to stay your mother offers for you to come back home and the first thing you worry about is HIM. What about Anna what about what is best for her. Do you want her to grow up with a drug addict abusive man who will never change. Is he even making the effort to change. Do you want Anna growing up thinking that this is an exceptable life to live that my father did it and my mother lived with it. I did not want that for my kids. Why should they grow up in an environment whereby their father is hitting their mother and the next day he is all loving with flowers ect. Shouting and screaming at me and the next you are so sorry but the next week I am back to been verbally and physically abused. Living on anti-depressants, going to see the Psychiatrist every six months, been hospitalised for depression and anxiety.
We have been separated since Oct 05 and since Jan 06 I have not been to see the psychiatrist have not been on medication. God had guided me in the right direction. And he shows me in so many ways the right path. The loneliness that I was feeling it is not so bad anymore because I am not lonely I have God in my life and the Bible and religious books. Most of all wonderful friends the same friend who I had a falling out with because of what she said is the same friend who came to me at my most weakest point in my life. Whereby I felt like I did not want to live anymore and wanted to Die that I thought taking an overdose would be the best thing. If I had succeeded who would have looked after my children the same abuser and his teenage girlfriend. But most of all the abuser he will never change he will always be the way he is he can pretend to go to church faithfully but in the same breath is committing adultery and living with a women when he is not divorced.
So here is some strong advice “TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT”:
WAKE UP BEFORE IT IS TO LATE. YOUR HUSBAND WILL NEVER CHANGE HE HAS NOT DONE SO ALL THESE YEARS HE NEVER WILL NOW. HE IS NOT THE SEE ALL BE ALL AND END ALL OF LIFE. THERE IS LIFE AFTER HIM. AND GOD LOVES YOU AND WANTS A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT A MAN WHO IS GOING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF YOU. 4TOMORROW THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG TIME SINCE BEFORE EVEN ANNA WAS BORN.
Eventually your family and friends getting tired of hearing about he same story over and over again and they keep telling you the same advice and you never listen. I know this from experience my family and I never spoke to each other for over a year. My friends got tired of hearing about how my husband beat me today or how he said this and this. They said to me there is protection orders there is resources out there that can help me so why am I bothering to complain to them and when they try to help I never listen.
L
LSK
Guest
The words posted by Robyanne are the truest I have ever read…along with the advice given by so many of those here who have gone through similar circumstances. You are not alone.
BE NOT AFRAID.
BE NOT AFRAID.
S
SeekerJen
Guest
That’s what the Society of St. Vincent de Paul is for- they operate out of Catholic parishes with a mission to serve the entire surrounding community, not just the Catholics. Seriously, in my parish’s SVDP conference, all we ask is that the client live within our zipcode (unless they are homeless, obviously). If they don’t we give them a referral to the parish within their zipcode (unfortunately we have to do this to keep records because some people try to scam the system). It is our policy to not even ask what faith, if any, the person holds or what place of worship they belong to. We just provide help in any way that we can. If the Catholic parish nearest you doesn’t have a SVDP conference, they will most likely be able to refer you to the nearest one that does. If they cannot, contact the diocese.Also, did anyone see my earlier post? Is it okay to ask a church in which you don’t belong for financial help? That was suggested to me last week.
God bless you. I’ll keep you and little Anna in my prayers.
J
jules11
Guest
Do you want her to grow up with a drug addict abusive man who will never change. Is he even making the effort to change.
Robaynne, although I know where you are coming from, I don’t think any of us can say these things with such certainty.. But most of all the abuser he will never change he will always be the way he is he can pretend to go to church faithfully but in the same breath is committing adultery and living with a women when he is not divorced.
God DOES and CAN change people. He does it all the time. We need to keep praying.
I understand that the OP needs to be away from this man right now for her own sake and the sake of her daughter, but she can, with God’s power, still hope that one day, he may in fact change for the better. We can never say never. And we should never give up hope.
If he truly loves her, he will.
I don’t think we should limit God but we just always need to be open to His will in all things. There have been many miraculous conversions and who knows? It may happen, and it may not… but we do not know. We need to trust. And we need to accept whatever happens as God’s Holy will, even if it’s not to our liking… knowing that if we trust God with childlike confidence, that whatever happens, it’s for the best.
God doesn’t give up on anyone, no matter how wretched they are.
But I do agree with you that at this point in time she needs to continue with her life as if he is not a part of it.
4
4tomorrow
Guest
Thank you all for caring so much and answering my threads. I appreciate all of your advise so much. It also helps just to know someone is listening.
Today I contacted my college and found out that I can drop the class without having to pay back the money, if I drop it within a certain time frame. I also called around and tried to find daycare in the area that my mother and father live. I haven’t found a place that has an opening, but I’m not giving up yet. I also called my lawyer to see if it was ok if I move out of the area. He said he didn’t think it would be a problem, however, he was going to check into it deeper. I’m supposed to call him back tomorrow. Wish me luck in that area.
I feel in my heart that my husband is not going to change. I think I need to clarify the fact that he was only physically violent towards me once. The rest of the time he was just verbally and economically abusive. (he threatned to hit me. he also took our bill money for drugs. His wife and child were living in a home with no heat, hot water, phone or trash service so he would have drug $$.) those are some examples. he also lied about practically everything. His friends are exconvicts and addicts. Even though he did all of these other things I only suffered bruises one time. That makes me wonder if I didn’t try hard enough and that perhaps I am giving up too easily. He cried when I saw him sunday… I’m so confused.
I’m also very scared of what he will do and how he will react when he finds out I have moved away.
My parents attend A catholic church every week. That will be very good for Anna and me.
Say a prayer for my sweet Anna. She is sick with a respitory infection and ear infection. The poor dear is miserable. I took her to the doctor today. Pray for a speedy recovery. The poor child only slept about an hour last night. She is sleeping now, but crying and pulling her ear in her sleep.
Today I contacted my college and found out that I can drop the class without having to pay back the money, if I drop it within a certain time frame. I also called around and tried to find daycare in the area that my mother and father live. I haven’t found a place that has an opening, but I’m not giving up yet. I also called my lawyer to see if it was ok if I move out of the area. He said he didn’t think it would be a problem, however, he was going to check into it deeper. I’m supposed to call him back tomorrow. Wish me luck in that area.
I feel in my heart that my husband is not going to change. I think I need to clarify the fact that he was only physically violent towards me once. The rest of the time he was just verbally and economically abusive. (he threatned to hit me. he also took our bill money for drugs. His wife and child were living in a home with no heat, hot water, phone or trash service so he would have drug $$.) those are some examples. he also lied about practically everything. His friends are exconvicts and addicts. Even though he did all of these other things I only suffered bruises one time. That makes me wonder if I didn’t try hard enough and that perhaps I am giving up too easily. He cried when I saw him sunday… I’m so confused.
I’m also very scared of what he will do and how he will react when he finds out I have moved away.
My parents attend A catholic church every week. That will be very good for Anna and me.
Say a prayer for my sweet Anna. She is sick with a respitory infection and ear infection. The poor dear is miserable. I took her to the doctor today. Pray for a speedy recovery. The poor child only slept about an hour last night. She is sleeping now, but crying and pulling her ear in her sleep.
D
dulcissima
Guest
You know what, the emotional stuff is a lot worse than the physical stuff anyhow, and plus that they only start with the emotional stuff and work their way up to the physical stuff. I have been thinking about what it is like to be in this kind of a marriage. It is like he is a serial killer with just one victim, you, and he is slowly torturing you and killing you from the inside out. I told this to my counselor and she said yes, that is the way that it is. It is called “soul murder” she told me.
As for trying a little harder. You’ve already tried too hard. You’ve made it altoghether too easy for him. I know, I’ve been the same way. The only thing I have to show for it is my four kids. They are great but they are hurting, and I really hope I left in time for their sake. My twelve year old son has started walking in his father’s footsteps and already constantly criticizes me, yells at me, hits me, kicks me, throws things at me. He is smaller than me but strong and he doesn’t hold back. Right now he is leaving bruises, but if I can’t keep this in check it won’t be long before it is broken bones. This all started once he has been spending weekends with his dad and all his dad done is put me down. My 15 year old daughter won’t go to his place anymore because she said it is too upsetting all that he says. He tells my son I only want him for the child support. This after I have been a stay at home mom his whole life, have given up everything for everyone else in my family.
Don’t stick around for it to get worse. Don’t stick around for him to poison your daughter. I’m glad you are taking some steps in the right direction. Just keep going and build up some momentum and don’t look back.
As for trying a little harder. You’ve already tried too hard. You’ve made it altoghether too easy for him. I know, I’ve been the same way. The only thing I have to show for it is my four kids. They are great but they are hurting, and I really hope I left in time for their sake. My twelve year old son has started walking in his father’s footsteps and already constantly criticizes me, yells at me, hits me, kicks me, throws things at me. He is smaller than me but strong and he doesn’t hold back. Right now he is leaving bruises, but if I can’t keep this in check it won’t be long before it is broken bones. This all started once he has been spending weekends with his dad and all his dad done is put me down. My 15 year old daughter won’t go to his place anymore because she said it is too upsetting all that he says. He tells my son I only want him for the child support. This after I have been a stay at home mom his whole life, have given up everything for everyone else in my family.
Don’t stick around for it to get worse. Don’t stick around for him to poison your daughter. I’m glad you are taking some steps in the right direction. Just keep going and build up some momentum and don’t look back.
4
4tomorrow
Guest
just an update…
I spoke with my lawyer today. He said there is some risk in moving, as I shouldn’t move my child outside the county while the divorce isn’t final. I told him my housing problems. I filed for divorce on Sept 24, 2006. The process server has been unable to locate my husband to serve him the papers. They have tried on several occasions. He is either nowhere to be found, or he won’t answer the door. At this rate the divorce could take many more months. (3 - 7 at the least).
I told my lawyer that my current home situation is only temporary, and I currently can’t afford my own apartment in the area. (husband has racked up huge utility bills and I can’t get approved for one until they are paid for). I feel I really don’t have a choice but to move because my daughter and I need a home. The lawyer said that if my husband does get a lawyer and wants to fight the issue, that I could just use economic hardship as my defense. (I am not receiving any child support).
I’m still so scared and nervous, but I really need my parents right now.
On Sunday, my husband said he wanted to meet with me and Anna today. We did not hear from him, but I didn’t really expect to. It is such a sad situation. I really wanted a father for her. Once again he stood up his own child…
I spoke with my lawyer today. He said there is some risk in moving, as I shouldn’t move my child outside the county while the divorce isn’t final. I told him my housing problems. I filed for divorce on Sept 24, 2006. The process server has been unable to locate my husband to serve him the papers. They have tried on several occasions. He is either nowhere to be found, or he won’t answer the door. At this rate the divorce could take many more months. (3 - 7 at the least).
I told my lawyer that my current home situation is only temporary, and I currently can’t afford my own apartment in the area. (husband has racked up huge utility bills and I can’t get approved for one until they are paid for). I feel I really don’t have a choice but to move because my daughter and I need a home. The lawyer said that if my husband does get a lawyer and wants to fight the issue, that I could just use economic hardship as my defense. (I am not receiving any child support).
I’m still so scared and nervous, but I really need my parents right now.
On Sunday, my husband said he wanted to meet with me and Anna today. We did not hear from him, but I didn’t really expect to. It is such a sad situation. I really wanted a father for her. Once again he stood up his own child…
D
dulcissima
Guest
It sounds like you are moving forward in the right direction. I hope you will find some healing and some rest at your parents home.
4
4tomorrow
Guest
my husband called about an hour ago. He was saying how much he has changed and if I would just give him a chance… I told him that I gave him years. He kept saying how much he needed me and how much he loves me. It all confuses me so much. Sometimes things seem like I’m going to be okay, and then I hear from him. He swears that he isn’t doing ang drugs and he is telling the truth about everything. Although, he always said that before. I guess this all just makes me feel really sad.
He didn’t even ask to see our sweet Anna. I think that if he really loved us that he would try to see her everyday. Or he would at least call everyday. I’m only an hour away from him right now, it’s not like its that far. I know that If I was the one who was away, I would be doing everything in my power to see my child. I couldn’t go a day without her. What do you think? I don’t mention this to him because I don’t really want to hear from him. It just seems like he is not really trying.
He didn’t even ask to see our sweet Anna. I think that if he really loved us that he would try to see her everyday. Or he would at least call everyday. I’m only an hour away from him right now, it’s not like its that far. I know that If I was the one who was away, I would be doing everything in my power to see my child. I couldn’t go a day without her. What do you think? I don’t mention this to him because I don’t really want to hear from him. It just seems like he is not really trying.
J
JezuUfamTobie
Guest
I’m so glad you’re standing your ground. Bless you for allowing the Lord to touch your heart with wisdom and prudence! I’m keeping you in my prayers.my husband called about an hour ago. He was saying how much he has changed and if I would just give him a chance… I told him that I gave him years. He kept saying how much he needed me and how much he loves me. It all confuses me so much. Sometimes things seem like I’m going to be okay, and then I hear from him. He swears that he isn’t doing ang drugs and he is telling the truth about everything. Although, he always said that before. I guess this all just makes me feel really sad.
He didn’t even ask to see our sweet Anna. I think that if he really loved us that he would try to see her everyday. Or he would at least call everyday. I’m only an hour away from him right now, it’s not like its that far. I know that If I was the one who was away, I would be doing everything in my power to see my child. I couldn’t go a day without her. What do you think? I don’t mention this to him because I don’t really want to hear from him. It just seems like he is not really trying.
You know… his lack of interest in your child could be a blessing in disguise. It’s certainly heartbreaking, but your sweet girl may have a better chance of growing up healthy if she does not have much contact with her father. The bad example of an abusive parent is difficult to overcome. It’s probably too early to count your chickens… but if he keeps his distance, that would give you the opportunity to fill that void in your daughter’s life with better male role models (uncles, friends, or maybe even someday a stepfather) and keep her free of malicious influence.
4
4tomorrow
Guest
Update:
A repo man just showed up at my door and tried to take my car. I ended up driving off and hiding it. I am current on my car payments, however, the bank loan is cross collaterized with my husbands motorcycle. The bank has been trying to reposses his bike for 5 months now. My husband keeps hiding the bike, so the bank decided they would come get the car. I am hiding the car until I can speak with the bank in person, and my lawyer. please say a prayer for me! I really can’t loose this car. Especially since I have been paying on it all this time.
I sent my husband a text message calling him a nasy name. He immediately Called the home where I have been staying and threatened the household. He threatned to harm the people living here. He is completely out of his mind. At least I’m not missing him right now. Also my husband is schedulled to appear in court tomorrow for failure to register his bike, failure to produce insurance, and failure to wear a motorcycle helmit. That should show you what state of mind he is in if he is riding around on a bike with no tags no insurance and then no helmit??? Like he wouldn’t get pulled over without a helmit!
Please Please say a prayer for me that I get to keep the car!!! My carpayment is low, and I couldn’t afford a different one.
A repo man just showed up at my door and tried to take my car. I ended up driving off and hiding it. I am current on my car payments, however, the bank loan is cross collaterized with my husbands motorcycle. The bank has been trying to reposses his bike for 5 months now. My husband keeps hiding the bike, so the bank decided they would come get the car. I am hiding the car until I can speak with the bank in person, and my lawyer. please say a prayer for me! I really can’t loose this car. Especially since I have been paying on it all this time.
I sent my husband a text message calling him a nasy name. He immediately Called the home where I have been staying and threatened the household. He threatned to harm the people living here. He is completely out of his mind. At least I’m not missing him right now. Also my husband is schedulled to appear in court tomorrow for failure to register his bike, failure to produce insurance, and failure to wear a motorcycle helmit. That should show you what state of mind he is in if he is riding around on a bike with no tags no insurance and then no helmit??? Like he wouldn’t get pulled over without a helmit!
Please Please say a prayer for me that I get to keep the car!!! My carpayment is low, and I couldn’t afford a different one.
S
smellslikeroses
Guest
My dh was taken away just over a week ago. He assaulted me. We will no longer be together. Things were not good to begin with but I will not tolerate physical violence.
I too am worried how will I manage with 3 little dk’s. It has been very hard adjusting to being a single mom but I know I can do it. So can you. You can manage on your own. Things will work out for you. It is going to be hard for along time, just take it day by day.
I did go talk to my priest. That was helpful. I also can’t get into indiv. counselling right away and I really don’t want to do group counselling. Talking to my family, friends and the priest were very helpful.
It also is a great comfort to me to know that Jesus is beside me and I’m sure he is carrying me right now. I also find alot of comfort knowing some of the saints had abusive spouses and some were seperated. Makes me feel a little less guilty.
I will pray for you, that God will guide you along the right path.
I too am worried how will I manage with 3 little dk’s. It has been very hard adjusting to being a single mom but I know I can do it. So can you. You can manage on your own. Things will work out for you. It is going to be hard for along time, just take it day by day.
I did go talk to my priest. That was helpful. I also can’t get into indiv. counselling right away and I really don’t want to do group counselling. Talking to my family, friends and the priest were very helpful.
It also is a great comfort to me to know that Jesus is beside me and I’m sure he is carrying me right now. I also find alot of comfort knowing some of the saints had abusive spouses and some were seperated. Makes me feel a little less guilty.
I will pray for you, that God will guide you along the right path.
4
4tomorrow
Guest
Hi it me again.
In the morning I’m going to the courthouse to file for a protective order for myself and my daughter against my husband. No, we are not yet divorced. He is hiding and cannot be served. By law the process server has to try so many times and for so long before it is just published in the newspaper. I’m really scared about tomorrow. I hope all goes ok. My husband has been calling and making threats lately. He is pretty violent. I feel confident I can get an order for myself, because I have before. It is my daughter I’m worried about. My husband is threatning to steal her and run off. He threatns to hurt me too. Pretty scared. I’m also nervous about how he will be when he finds out I filed against him. He may go completely off the deep end and try to kill me. I think he may be that crazy.
hope everyone is well.
In the morning I’m going to the courthouse to file for a protective order for myself and my daughter against my husband. No, we are not yet divorced. He is hiding and cannot be served. By law the process server has to try so many times and for so long before it is just published in the newspaper. I’m really scared about tomorrow. I hope all goes ok. My husband has been calling and making threats lately. He is pretty violent. I feel confident I can get an order for myself, because I have before. It is my daughter I’m worried about. My husband is threatning to steal her and run off. He threatns to hurt me too. Pretty scared. I’m also nervous about how he will be when he finds out I filed against him. He may go completely off the deep end and try to kill me. I think he may be that crazy.
hope everyone is well.
D
dulcissima
Guest
I was thinking about you recently and hoping that you were okay and staying firm in your resolve. I’m glad to hear that you are getting a protective order and doing what you can to move forward. You remain in my prayers. Stay safe.
S
shirleytowers
Guest
He is NUTS. This is NOT NORMAL and never will be. I think he is bipolar. Sounds familiar, as I was married to one. Get away!!! Is there a safe house? Call the national domestic violence hotline. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or
1-800-787-3224 (TTY) You must have been conditioned by your family of origin to tolerate abuse or you wouldn’t put up with this. He is incapable of a real relationship. Get counseling. Good luck!
1-800-787-3224 (TTY) You must have been conditioned by your family of origin to tolerate abuse or you wouldn’t put up with this. He is incapable of a real relationship. Get counseling. Good luck!
N
Norseman82
Guest
Don’t believe him.
Don’t trust him.
And one other thing - enroll in a self-defense course if you haven’t done so already (and before anyone jumps all over me for this, self-defense is not just hitting back, it’s knowing how to escape from threatening situations and also avoiding them in the first place).
Also, do you have any other male members of the family that can protect you physically if it came to that?
Don’t trust him.
And one other thing - enroll in a self-defense course if you haven’t done so already (and before anyone jumps all over me for this, self-defense is not just hitting back, it’s knowing how to escape from threatening situations and also avoiding them in the first place).
Also, do you have any other male members of the family that can protect you physically if it came to that?
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