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Irishmom2
Guest
I am not upset or angry at all because it is not my life, it is yours. I didn’t cheat on my husband and then try to justify it continually. But it is like you are not really hearing what anyone is saying to you.
Keep the blinders on.
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ajecphotos
Guest
I am not trying to justify my infidelity!! I take full responsibility for what happened! I was fully to blame. The wife and I were going through a stressful time for the last 8 years. I do not blame her one bit.I am not upset or angry at all because it is not my life, it is yours. I didn’t cheat on my husband and then try to justify it continually. But it is like you are not really hearing what anyone is saying to you.
Keep the blinders on.
I have heard everything you have all said. Its the same record though:
STDs, which are non existent. Telling my wife, of which i accept the advice of GOD through my confessors to say nothing. Doesn’t Gods words mean anything to you? Are we not taught that God speaks to us through the priest in confession? Am i to disobey that advice from God?
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LongingSoul
Guest
This thread has a very bad stench. You have disrespected your wife in the most despicable way and seem to only care about yourself. I genuinely don’t detect any remorse in your posts, just endless rationalising and deflecting.
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FrenzyJen
Guest
I wasn’t talking about STDs, I was talking about the lie.
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Irishmom2
Guest
I have said nothing to you about telling your wife or disobeying anyone in my last posts. What I asked is why you waste time here instead of being with her, doing things with her or seeing a counselor for yourself to strengthen your marriage.
So please, stop assuming Gods word means nothing to ME.
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ajecphotos
Guest
Yes, i disrespected my wife badly.This thread has a very bad stench. You have disrespected your wife in the most despicable way and seem to only care about yourself. I genuinely don’t detect any remorse in your posts, just endless rationalising and deflecting.
I dont care about myself as i have stated many times! I have said how bad i had been. Remorse has been said on may occasions during this thread by me. You need to read the posts properly my friend.
What people dont like is the fact that i am not going to tell her of the adultery! I sought advice from 4 priests and they all told me to sat nothing.
Doesn’t the advice of God stand for anything? Doesn’t God speak through our confessors?
Now, calm down and if not happy dont read or post in this thread! But, many thanks for your Christian help and advice. God bless you
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ajecphotos
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Xantippe
Guest
There is nothing disgusting or evil about telling someone to seek appropriate medical care.
When a person suddenly engages in uncharacteristic behavior or displays unusually bad judgment, that often has a medical explanation.
When a person suddenly engages in uncharacteristic behavior or displays unusually bad judgment, that often has a medical explanation.
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ajecphotos
Guest
Well, the wife and I have spoken many hours over the last few days. Many!! But, we have to work and as much as i want i cant talk to her in work!! Plus, i work from home so i am able to use the internet!
We dont need counselling. We talked about that some time ago and both agreed we didnt need it. We seem to getting on fantastically now!!
If you did think something of Gods words you wouldn’t keep trying, like others to make me go against his words!!
Anyway, thank you for caring and god bless you
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ajecphotos
Guest
Thing is, you dont know me. You dont know what my typical behaviour is!
How can you call me accepting the advice of God through my confessors as ‘bad judgement’? They have told me to say nothing.
Please rest assured that all concerned are healthy and have no STDs. Again, thank you for your advice though
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LongingSoul
Guest
Rationalising, deflecting, disingenuous, sarcastic. Very bad stench.
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ajecphotos
Guest
Sorry if it looks that way to you. I am just being honest. If anything upsets you i apologise immensely. God bless you
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Xantippe
Guest
Eh, by “bad judgement” I meant the adultery.
Why so negative about seeking medical advice (both an STD check and a mental health evaluation)? What’s the worst thing that could happen? Why so determined to go it alone?
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ajecphotos
Guest
Have you read my posts? I have not ‘gone alone’ as i have seen 4 confessors who have all given me advice from God! Doesn’t that count for anything?
Why are you hung up about my health and STDs? I know i have no STDs and the same for my ex too.
Why would i need a mental health evaluation? Because i dont do as you say? Because i dont agree with you? Because i have taken the advice of my confessors?
Please, dont worry about me my friend. God bless
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Xantippe
Guest
It is going it alone if you do not have ongoing help with your situation.
Your postings in this thread sound (for lack of a better word) CRAZY.
If you go for a mental health evaluation and the doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist says you are just fine, what harm has it done you? And if you go for a mental health evaluation and they do find something, it could do you a world of good (even save your life).
There is no downside to getting checked out (aside from an hour or two lost)–why not do it?
If you have a wife and a child depending on you, you owe it to them to take good care of your physical and mental health.
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Kelfa28
Guest
Rug sweeping.
Big time.
The surviving infidelity forums would have a field day with all of this.
Anyone who cheats needs counciling. That is a fact.
Anyone who goes outside of their marriage vows and has unprotected or protected intercourse with another person needs to be checked for STDs. That is another fact. Codoms don’t protect against everything.
Some would argue that not only do the betrayed spouses need to be checked but any children who have kissed their parents, who have cheated, need to be checked too. STDs are easily transferred via mouth.
I’ve worked in the medical field for years. If I was stuck, accidentally with a used needle, I’d be immediately tested and put on the HIV anti-viral meds. Even if the patient had no medical history of HIV.
Why?
Because I care about my health, the health of my spouse and the health of my future children.
Because I could still have STDs even if I “knew” that patient has no history.
No one knows the inner-workings of the human body intuitively.
Cheaters lie. That is a fact.
Lies by omission are still lies.
One who is involved in hiding a financial mess from their spouse…such as secret credit cards, shopping and gambling addictions, past financial problems not disclosed, bankruptcy and debt are putting their spouses credit in danger.
Any sane financial adviser would tell the offending spouse to disclose it all to the offended spouse so they could work through the problem together.
It’s devious and cruel to hide major secrets in a marriage. It will result in the complete destruction of a marriage if a spouse cannot be honest, humble and remorseful enough to just come clean, start over and work on problems together.
Everyone sins. That is very true. It’s what you do that penance and remorse after one sins that counts for everyone in one’s healing. Coming clean to the offending party is part of the healing process for everyone.
It’s selfish to keep a secret to save face and save something for your own benefit and your own outward appearance then carrying the cross, truly healing yourself and never committing the sin again.
Very few marriage survive infidelity. Whether disclosed or not. More marriage survive if the offending spouse comes clean and asks the offended for forgiveness.
There are three people in a marriage. A man, a woman and God.
You’ve deeply offended two of those people but have only asked forgiveness of one.
Marriages need three legs to stand strong on. Not just two.
A lot of people just think that God isn’t necessary within a marriage. Not too many think that one just needs God alone, in a marriage, and the spouse doesn’t really count.
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EasterJoy
Guest
You protest too much. It is OK to thank people for their advice and just let it go. Otherwise, the two of you will stand over that dead horse of your contention and beat it to death far past death, which is what is happening here.
Reflect on what you have heard from those whose advice you have, after all, solicited. It is physically impossible to take all the advice you have been given. Reflect on it all, but take what you take and leave the rest. If there is nothing more they can say to change your mind, do not even respond with more than a “thank you.” Only question what they post when you are asking for a clarification. Whatever you do, though, do NOT argue with them about their advice! They didn’t come here asking you what you think of them! It is pretty hard to use the priests who have advised you as your defense, since you have heard them first hand and you’re here looking for more opinions. OK, so don’t defend the priests. No one here knows who they are, and those priests do not care what anyone here thinks of their advice. Let that go.
I might suggest that some time spent lurking–DO NOT POST!!–on the forums and blogs for the victims of infidelity might give you a perspective you have not had. Besides that, the most important thing is to avoid all near occasions of sin.
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ajecphotos
Guest
It is going it alone if you do not have ongoing help with your situation.
Your postings in this thread sound (for lack of a better word) CRAZY.
If you go for a mental health evaluation and the doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist says you are just fine, what harm has it done you? And if you go for a mental health evaluation and they do find something, it could do you a world of good (even save your life).
That would only be to please you though! I know i am fine.
There is no downside to getting checked out (aside from an hour or two lost)–why not do it?
If you have a wife and a child depending on you, you owe it to them to take good care of your physical and mental health.
Again, many thanks for being so caring but i promise you i am fine buddy.
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ajecphotos
Guest
Rug sweeping.
Big time.
The surviving infidelity forums would have a field day with all of this.
Anyone who cheats needs counciling. That is a fact.
Not quite true as there are all manner of reason why people cheat
Anyone who goes outside of their marriage vows and has unprotected or protected intercourse with another person needs to be checked for STDs. That is another fact. Codoms don’t protect against everything.
Again, it is dependant of the length of time you have known someone and their ‘life history!’
Some would argue that not only do the betrayed spouses need to be checked but any children who have kissed their parents, who have cheated, need to be checked too. STDs are easily transferred via mouth.
Waw, i never knew that. Luckily i know me and all relevant parties are 100% STD clear then!!
I’ve worked in the medical field for years. If I was stuck, accidentally with a used needle, I’d be immediately tested and put on the HIV anti-viral meds. Even if the patient had no medical history of HIV.
Why?
Because I care about my health, the health of my spouse and the health of my future children.
Because I could still have STDs even if I “knew” that patient has no history.
No one knows the inner-workings of the human body intuitively.
Cheaters lie. That is a fact.
Lies by omission are still lies.
You are right. To commit adultery one has to lie. This is did do but no longer!!
One who is involved in hiding a financial mess from their spouse…such as secret credit cards, shopping and gambling addictions, past financial problems not disclosed, bankruptcy and debt are putting their spouses credit in danger.
Any sane financial adviser would tell the offending spouse to disclose it all to the offended spouse so they could work through the problem together.
It’s devious and cruel to hide major secrets in a marriage. It will result in the complete destruction of a marriage if a spouse cannot be honest, humble and remorseful enough to just come clean, start over and work on problems together.
We have started over. I have taken onboard everyones advice but have decided to accept the advice of my confessors instead. Thank you
Everyone sins. That is very true. It’s what you do that penance and remorse after one sins that counts for everyone in one’s healing. Coming clean to the offending party is part of the healing process for everyone.
In some cases maybe but not mine. God has spoken to me via my confessors and i would be a fool to not take Gods advice! If he advises me in the future to tell all then i will, gladly! To tell now would go against Gods advice and also blow our marriage to infinity.
It’s selfish to keep a secret to save face and save something for your own benefit and your own outward appearance then carrying the cross, truly healing yourself and never committing the sin again.
Its not for my benefit that i have not told her. I dont care what happens to me! Yes, i want our marriage to work but i dont want to destroy my wifes life as that is what would happen if i told her.
Very few marriage survive infidelity. Whether disclosed or not. More marriage survive if the offending spouse comes clean and asks the offended for forgiveness.
It all depends on the strength, or lack of it, of all parties involved. Especially the husband and wife
There are three people in a marriage. A man, a woman and God.
You’ve deeply offended two of those people but have only asked forgiveness of one.
I am the only one that has sinned. So, i am the only one that needed absolution!! Why should my wife seek forgiveness when she is innocent?
Marriages need three legs to stand strong on. Not just two.
A lot of people just think that God isn’t necessary within a marriage. Not too many think that one just needs God alone, in a marriage, and the spouse doesn’t really count.
God is very much needed. I have always had God in my life. Its just that i abused his trust etc. I failed. I tripped over big time. But, God has picked me up!!! He has saved me!!! He has saved my marriage and my love for my wife. I love her so much and we both want to be together for ever. I am living each day to make sure that now happens. But, only with Gods grace!!
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