We may say “You should be ashamed of yourself”, but we should not, since it is judging without knowledge of a person. Shame is something a person feels about himself/herself. There may be legitimate reasons why people feel shame. “Being gay” is not a legitimate reason to feel shame since one does not choose one’s sexual orientation.
To the contrary, people do indeed choose their “sexual orientation.”
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.” - Job 31:1
Job is revealed to have made at least three choices involving his sexual orientation. One, he chose to not abstain from sex. Two, he chose to remain heterosexual. Three, he chose to abstain from lusting after any woman other than his wife.
Job made three good choices. For those choices and others, Job was judged favorably.
As for those who either choose to turn to the sexual orientation of the sin defined as an abomination in Leviticus 20:13 or who have turned that direction and choose not to resist it and fight against it, as Job righteously chose to resist and fight against wrongful lust - the same chapter of Job refers to them:
“2 For what is our lot from God above,
our heritage from the Almighty on high?
3 Is it not ruin for the wicked,
disaster for those who do wrong?
4 Does he not see my ways
and count my every step?”
God sees our ways, knows the number of hairs on the head of each one of us, the number of molecules in each of those hairs, the number of atoms in each of those molecules, the number of electrons, protons and neutrons in each of those atoms… ad infinitum.
We should choose what’s right, no matter how difficult the struggle and no matter whether we win the battle or not … because God sees what is in our hearts and knows whether or not we speak the truth when we say we are thankful to him for providing salvation from our sinful nature. Our choices, in the most secret and hidden places of our hearts, are what God cares about.
We are instructed to submit ourselves to God and resist the devil and all temptations (James 4:7) and that applies not merely to the “common” sins but also to the sins categorized as the worst, the abominations.
If any man who has engaged in sodomy or any person who has committed any of the other sins spelled out in the same context of Leviticus chapter 20 is ashamed of himself or herself for having done so, then there remains hope for that person.