Are Catholics too high and mighty and overly judgemental?

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and by the way no one has answered the questions that were the reason for this post. why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics? these are the questions i would really love to know about.
 
Back when I was living in England, I was driving down the road one day, and I saw a car pulled over on the side of a pretty empty country road. So I pulled over, and I quickly saw that the driver, an attractive and capable young woman, had a flat tire (or “tyre”, as they spell it there).

I asked her, “Do you need some help with that?”

“Oh, yes! Thank you very much!”

So she opened her trunk (“boot”), and I took out the tire and the jack. I put the jack in place and said “Okay… just keep twisting this until the tire is off the ground.”

She looked at me, then at the jack, and back at me. “You’re not going to do it for me?”

“No… I’m helping,” I said. (See, I’m a firm believer of teaching a person to fish…)

“Oh,” she said. She paused for a moment before saying “I think I’ll wait for someone else.”

“Okay,” I said, and I drove away.
 
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bear06:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Not the “cast the first stone” argument! Nobody was trying to kill you over co-habitating. This is not what this verse means. Christ never said to call a sin anything other than a sin. He said to remember that none of us are perfect or should condemn someone else to hell which I wholeheartedly agree upon. We should fear judgment. Not from each other but from God. If I don’t say someone is breaking from the teachings of Christ, what kind of friend would I be? That doesn’t mean I need to go around saying “Repent sinner for you are going to hell and I’m not!” It does mean saying "Danger, Danger, Danger!)
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The responses that seemed over the top to me were the ones that ripped her for having pre-marital sex. She had already repented of that conduct and was trying to stop. She asked for help on how to do it.

There’s some in every crowd. If you’re going to post deeply personal issues in a forum like this, then be prepared for deeply personal responses, some of which will be, well, rude. But don’t write off a whole church because some of its members are nasty to you on the internet.
 
AHHHHH! get off of it people you all made your point about us living together let me make one thing clear and then can we please stick to the subject. we are getting married, we are not seperating, i’d sooner listen to my dog than some freudian nut job, and we are remaining celabate and have been for three weeks now which by the time of our marriage will have been ten weeks, sweet Jesus has none of you ever made a mistake? By the way the Deacon and Priest of our parish FULLY supports our getting married and believes that we not only are ready and fully grasp the meaning of a Catholic marriage committment, but are more mature than most young couples he comes across.
 
If you want a simple answer, then, no, they are not too overly judgemental in my one opinion. As to the problems of teenagers and children, the answer is they are teenagers and children.

I have found more of a tendency to soft-peddle sin among Catholics, than to fire-and-brimstone it. You must know that this forum definely not a cross-section of average Catholicism
 
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TarAshly:
why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics?
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  1. People do not like to obey the rules. The Church has rules.
  2. There is a shortfall of priests because men have not gotten the call to be a priest.
  3. I don’t know what you are talking about, my children love the Church (at least our Parish).
 
Some Catholics do believe they are appointed by The Pope to share their views, and rudely so, BUT it would be foolish to allow rude people interfere with your spiritual life.

I would advise the use of the ignore feature in this forum. For the most part the folks here are good, but, like always, there is always a few in the crowd.
 
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TarAshly:
why are people leaving?
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Poor teaching in the faith by CCD/CCE, priests, and other people that should be teaching about the faith. And also the attractive nature of sin and not wanting to follow the rules/teachings.
why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests?
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The culture of death that makes it more attractive to be a sports or movie star then being a priest.
why are children embarassed to be catholics?
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They aren’t in my area.
 
oh no im not writting off the church ever i got a horribly rude message from a poster in the private message, he also posted a nasty one on the forum about the way i was raised, about my parents and so on, i was so shocked and crushed that in a Catholic and Christian forum someone would be that cruel thats what had me thinking that way. my Faith runs way to deep to allow that to dam it up.
 
Ashley:

I like using analogies, so here it goes:

Suppose only a few people knew that cigarette smoking was dangerous to a person’s health. Should those few people keep quiet, because they may appear to be judgemental to the other people? Or should they do everything in their power to warn people because lives could be saved as a result?

You can just twist the situation and put it your scenario. Should people stay quiet when they think that your spiritual health is in danger? Or should they keep quiet and not appear judgemental.
 
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TarAshly:
and by the way no one has answered the questions that were the reason for this post. why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics? these are the questions i would really love to know about.
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  1. Because they can’t live the life. Being a catholic is hard work.
  2. I don’t know.
  3. I don’t agree with the premise of this question. But if it carries any validity, it is probably because their parents aren’t living a faithful catholic life.
 
Your previous thread got deleted before I could post my response. I am a cradle Catholic. Welcome! to the Catholic faith. It is a mouthful, not always pleasing to the taste and more difficult to digest. When you joined the Catholic faith, you incorporated yourself into a community of believers, the Body of Christ. The jewell of the Catholic Church is that through obedience to the Church’s teaching in faith and morals, you can save yourself loads of agony and pain-emotional, mental, relationship, physical, spiritual. Conversion is a process of transformation that the Holy Spirit leads you through your desires and will. You sound immature in both your faith and age-guilty like many of us. Being Catholic means learning through grace and faith experience to submit yourself to the Truth in faith & morals that Christ Jesus Himself entrusted to the first Vicar (Pope) Peter and all subsequesnt Popes. God Bless.
 
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TarAshly:
and by the way no one has answered the questions that were the reason for this post. why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics? these are the questions i would really love to know about.
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People are leaving because in many cases the Catholic Church is not teaching Catholicism and it’s just as good to go elsewhere where they don’t have so many rules to follow because nobody’s bothered to explain why the rules are there.

If you look at the more orthodox orders, one’s who really teach the Catholic Faith, their numbers are huge and their seminaries are overflowing. I’m not talking about those who don’t like Vatican II, I’m talking about the ones that follow V2 faithfully.

My kids are not embarrassed to be Catholics!!! They love apologetics even at their age. We have over 200 kids in our homeschool group and they love the Catholic Church! I think what you are seeing is years of watering down the teachings of the Church in our great Catholic schools ( yes, this is sarcastic).
 
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TarAshly:
oh no im not writting off the church ever i got a horribly rude message from a poster in the private message, he also posted a nasty one on the forum about the way i was raised, about my parents and so on, i was so shocked and crushed that in a Catholic and Christian forum someone would be that cruel thats what had me thinking that way. my Faith runs way to deep to allow that to dam it up.
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Report any nasty PMs to the moderators.
 
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TarAshly:
ok in response to a couple of these. a church and or religious forum should be a sanctuary where people feel a common bond. not fear of judgement. who are we to “correct” someone? are you free of sin? if not dont correct me. i didnt ask to be corrected i asked for support.
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No, you asked for affirmation of an illicit lifestyle. You won’t find that here.

You can’t look for a common bond when you don’t share that bond.

And just because we are sinners does not absolve us of the duty or prevent us from offering corrections, out of love, to our fellow sojourners on this earth who have gone astray. We aren’t stoning you or condemning you, but we are condemning the sin.
 
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TarAshly:
So my thread got booted which is kinda sad because i would have loved to have used some examples from it. I posted a perfectly normal and innocent question about Co habitation and Celebacy. i got several different responses some kind and helpful and understanding. others not so kind, not so helpful and not so understanding. it posed a question i have wondered since i started attending Catholic Churches and classes. Are we as Catholics too judgemental and harsh when sometimes a soft touch will sufise. Is ours the only way and do we sometimes frighten people away by being to Zealous, when we could have possibly helped them? a few hours in this chat room had me reconsidering weither or not i wanted to belong to a group of people who seriously felt the way some of the people here felt. i took a break and got to thinking. im not gonna waste years of hard work and devotion, of distancing myself from friends and family to become a baptised Catholic just because some people are jerks. however this is not to anger or offend anyone. just ask yourselves why do we have the rep we have. why are our young people often embarassed for people to know that they are Catholics and why do so many people leave the church or harbor such negative feelings towards the church. PLEASE DONT BE ANGRY OR HOSTILE IN THIS THREAD PLEASE BE RESONABLE IN YOUR RESPONSES. thats the whole point of this thread is to take a second look.
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In answer to your question, yes, most definitly yes.
 
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TarAshly:
AHHHHH! get off of it people you all made your point about us living together let me make one thing clear and then can we please stick to the subject. we are getting married, we are not seperating, i’d sooner listen to my dog than some freudian nut job, and we are remaining celabate and have been for three weeks now which by the time of our marriage will have been ten weeks, sweet Jesus has none of you ever made a mistake? By the way the Deacon and Priest of our parish FULLY supports our getting married and believes that we not only are ready and fully grasp the meaning of a Catholic marriage committment, but are more mature than most young couples he comes across.
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I know you feel condemned by anyone commenting on this but I think most people here are actually just concerned for your spiritual well-being.

Since I can’t see the original post could you refresh my memory here. I THOUGHT I read that you had “slipped” up since deciding to be celibate? Did you say you HADN’T slipped up once? What was the reason for the original post?

If you did say that you “slipped up” once then I think that this is why people keep suggesting that you physically remove yourself from the temptation. This may sound hard to believe but some of us would quit school, get a job and move out rather than commit what we believe to be a mortal sin.
 
Hi Tar,
I didn’t see your original post so I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m going to jump in the crowded waters anyways to try and help answer the questions first posed in this thread.

You first asked if Catholics are too high and mighty and overly judgemental. My answer, 2 years ago, would have been a very definite yes. At that point, I was not properly educated in the richness of the Catholic faith, and I thought, who are we Catholics to say if 2 people can or cannot live together? We are not God. BUT, now that I have grown deeper into the faith, I realize it is not a matter of being judgemental, it is a matter of simply knowing right from wrong. The church says couples should not co-habitate before marriage, so I must obey it. (Please note that I lived with my husband while we were engaged too, and I look back and wish we hadn’t. It just would have been more special.) Anyways, whether I completely understand the “rules” or not does not matter. I simply must obey them.

Second, you asked why are people leaving? In my personal experience, it is because we are poorly educated in our faith. We need better cathecism classes for “cradle Catholics” like myself. Growing up, I knew nothing about my faith except that we said the same prayers every Sunday, sat down, stood up, sat down, stood up, got Communion, had doughnuts after Church and went home. (mind you I’m being a bit over simplistic, but just trying to make a point.) We need to better educate our youth on the fullness of the Catholic church so the evangelical church down the street with the cool rock band and fun “youth groups” don’t “steal” them.

As to why we are having a shortage of priests, in my humble opinion, it’s due to the society we live in. We want it all and we want it now. It is a huge sacrifice for a healthy adult male to remain celibate and give their lives to God and I think we are not raising our youth to realize the beauty of that sacrifice.

Lastly, why are kids embarassed to be Catholic? I don’t know… Again, in my humble experience, it’s not “in” to be Catholic right now. It’s not cool. It’s becoming cool to go to an evangelical church and hang out there, but for some reason Catholics are just not the latest fad and you know how kids are. If something’s not “cool”, it simply will not do.

Anyways, these are just my opinions and experiences. I hope they’ve helped you. I pray that you find support and comfort here as well as a place you know you can go to for the Truth.

God Bless.
 
Note bene: Many people have answered your questions. It’s time to respond, if you choose, to the charitable advice you’ve received.

Are you going to change your lifestyle?

Are you going to not cohabitate, as many have suggested, for the reasons suggested?

Sacrifice, offer it to God, and **KNOW ** that many people on this board are praying for you!
 
ok you have a serious problem with letting go of something let me make a personal apology to you so that you feel better, i made my apologies to God in confession but i guess you feel your owed one to. i am sorry that i sinned and that offends you. feel better now? because i have sinned doesnt mean i dont share a bond with you. honey its likely i share blood with you, our bond is that we are sinners, we are christians, we are catholics, we are humans. thats a bond. the Catholic one is a huge one. like it or night the day i signed that book and was dunked in that water i became your sister in the faith and in the church. let me apologize for that too. sorry.
 
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