Are Catholics too high and mighty and overly judgemental?

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TarAshly:
and by the way no one has answered the questions that were the reason for this post. why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics? these are the questions i would really love to know about.
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Why are people leaving? I would ask you why are people joining?

Why are children embarassed to be Catholic? I have four children and they are not embarassed to be Catholic. My daughter wears a t-shirt that says Catholic Girl on it with a picture of rosaries. I think if a child is cautious about revealing that they are Catholic is probably because of the religious bias that they encounter out in the world. There are alot of Catholic bashers out there.

I see that you state you got a nasty “private” message. That makes more sense to why you would feel so hurt. That was not right for that poster to do such a thing. You should report it.
 
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TarAshly:
and by the way no one has answered the questions that were the reason for this post. why are people leaving, why are we at a dangerous deficit of priests? why are children embarassed to be catholics? these are the questions i would really love to know about.
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  1. From my experience, most people leave because they attend other churches to be entertained OR they leave because the Church’s teaching is seen as too hard… Christianity outside of the Catholic Church is easy, being Catholic is seen as hard. Bottom line on all of this, they did not learn the faith well…
  2. Lack of priests? I’ll leave that to the big brains - but, I think that God calls, many are just not listening.
  3. I don’t know any children who are embarassed by their Catholic Faith. My son is vocal and proud (age 14) and I’ve posted many examples on this forum… the kids in my CCD class are younger, and each week I try to impress the joy and beauty of their Faith - none of them has ever exepressed that they are ashamed…
 
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TarAshly:
ok you have a serious problem with letting go of something let me make a personal apology to you so that you feel better, i made my apologies to God in confession but i guess you feel your owed one to. i am sorry that i sinned and that offends you. feel better now? because i have sinned doesnt mean i dont share a bond with you. honey its likely i share blood with you, our bond is that we are sinners, we are christians, we are catholics, we are humans. thats a bond. the Catholic one is a huge one. like it or night the day i signed that book and was dunked in that water i became your sister in the faith and in the church. let me apologize for that too. sorry.
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Rather testy response to people who are trying to help.

Should I add my “sorries” to your list? Sorry I tried to help? Sorry I was concerned for you? Sorry I said a prayer for you?

I’m not sorry I did those things, but I won’t waste any further time on this thread. Bye.
 
The Barrister said:
Note bene: Many people have answered your questions. It’s time to respond, if you choose, to the charitable advice you’ve received.

Are you going to change your lifestyle?

Are you going to not cohabitate, as many have suggested, for the reasons suggested?

Sacrifice, offer it to God, and **KNOW **that many people on this board are praying for you!
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  1. No, he sleeps on the couch thats change enough.
  2. not co habitating is not an option for the reasons i have explained plenty of times.
to the other poster who lived with her husband before marriage:
thank you and its nice to have an opinion from someone in the same situation. i appreciate your responses and feel i learned something from you. thanks again.
 
TarAshly,

If you want to know why people leave, ask them. I will tell you why I will never leave. I know the Catholic Church has the complete truth. Not part, but whole. All of the truth. All I have to do is abide in this truth through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can read scripture and I do not have to interpret it myself. I know that as long as my understanding of scripture falls within the belief system laid out for me by the Church, I am safe from following what I want to believe instead of the Holy Spirit guiding me. We live in a “me” society. “I can interpret scripture”, “My God does this or that” etc, etc, etc. That is why we are short on priests.

People worry that if their sons become priests, they may lose out on living the “good life”. Many people fail to encourage their children to religious life these days. Also, people use birth control “against the birth”, leading to smaller families and whereas parents used to have several children and at least encourage some to the religious life, they now have maybe two children and want grandchildren, so they don’t pray about it or encourage it. For my part, I am already encouraging my three boys and one daughter to listen for God’s call to religious life. As to your third question, I have forgotten what it was, so I will post this and read it again. That is what happens when you have four children 9 and under! 😦
 
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TarAshly:
Are we as Catholics too judgemental and harsh when sometimes a soft touch will sufise.
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I don’t think that we (Catholics) are as a whole but I think that some of us are individually, but I don’t think a Catholic would be any more likely to be judgemental than a Protestant or atheist. But I do agree that sometimes a softer touch is in order, though it does take experience to know when to be tough and when to go soft.

I do believe that as Catholics we have more confidence in our beliefs because we believe them to be True! Confidence can sometimes become arrogance or simly be mistaken for arrogance. Like some others have said, its all in the delivery, and many of us are not skilled in that area. Ever since I have realized that I am not skilled in that area I have decided to take the softer approach without compromising the faith.
 
Re:admonishing sinners, quite a few priests have consistantly said it is not wise to verbally admonish others if there doesn’t seem to be a chance they will benefit from what you say.Best to give a good example and pray for others. Seems like common sense to me! This does not include those who have a responsibility over others, such as parents, teachers, or priests, etc.
 
Oh yeah, maybe the reason I forgot the 3rd question, is because it is ridiculous. My children feel sorry for children who attend public school. They feel this way because some of their friends have told them about taking a Bible to school or a book about Noah and being told they can’t have that at school. The children I know are very proud to be Catholic. We go to the park after school many days and they are never bothered by going in their uniform. We are the only school that requires our particular type of uniform, so they are easily recognizable as “Catholic” kids. They are tickled to be asked about this. I hope to raise little apologists. I suspect if you are around kids who are embarassed, it is because they do not know how to defend their faith against all the misunderstandings Protestant children have about Catholics.
 
i agree with both of you to a degree. however martino i would pose this question to you. Catholics are known as a culture to be oldschool and unforgiving, do you think that reputation is functional to the church and its purposes or that something should be done and an awareness made to be tolerant and forgiving without sacrificing the foundation of our faith?
 
Here in the Archdiocese of Denver, we have a great example of an archbishop who is not afraid to perform the spiritual work of mercy of admonishing sinners (unfortunately, he seems to be an exception to the rule of North American bishops). For being so “judgmental” though, he is having amazing success: people are rallying to him, they are expanding the seminary because of an influx of new vocations, and the Church is growing by leaps and bounds. Same thing with the similarly “judgmental” bishop in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Also, if you were to attend a World Youth Day like the one I went to in Denver, you might not be so quick to say that young people are ashamed to be Catholic. There were about 1/2 a million of them who were on fire with love for the Church in Denver when I was there!

A couple of comments about the issues from your earlier thread:
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TarAshly:
are we all not sinners and is it charitable to admonish a person who simply needs guidance and understanding?
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Jesus said “let he is without sin cast the first stone,” but the very next line is “now go and sin no more.” It’s not a blank check to do whatever you want that all of us our sinners.

And you mentioned earlier that you feel it is ok to contracept, that it is not evil “like abortion”–well, I hope I am not the first person to tell you this, but chemical contraception is abortion quite a bit of the time. If you need more info on that I can find it, but one of the ways it works is by preventing already-fertilized eggs (and if life begins at conception, these are human lives with brand new souls) from implanting in the womb. This is serious stuff… but if you were ignorant of it before, it’s important that you know now if you’re using chemical contraception. I don’t want you to have that burden of sin–i.e., I’m trying to be merciful to you by making you aware. Sorry if you think I’m a jerk now.

Bret
 
Thats another thing mom (sorry couldnt remember you name) why does there have to be such labels and animosity why are they wrong and us right? Protestants are Christians just like anyone else and im not necesarilly directing this at you but i have heard this term so many times in the classes i have atteneded and debates and what not. it almost to me seems to be used in a derogatory way that is definatly not christian of anyone.
 

i got a horribly rude message from a poster in the private message, he also posted a nasty one on the forum about the way i was raised, about my parents and so on​

Ah. An over zealous Christian who lacks manners. Obviously a person who would P.M you with hatred, and make comments about your parents has some problems. I would go to the point of actually feeling sorry for this person, obviously, this person believes he has seen the light but has not.
 
your not a jerk, simply just grumpy and high and high and mighty. there can be no abortion if there is no egg, BCP prevents and egg from being produced. and if you had read further you would have seen i use BCP so that i may one day have children, i have a condition where if i was allowed to ovulate regularly my ovaries would be severely damaged rendering me infertile.
 
This is a bit of an aside, but I am so glad to hear that so many of you have or know children who are proud to be Catholic! I’m sure things have changed since I’ve been a child (I’m 26 now), but I just remember how it was when I was younger. My Catholic friends and I would get picked on because we went to a Catholic school and we were “goody-two-shoes”, etc. And I’m not around alot of school age kids these days to know if this attitude has changed. I sure hope it has and from the sounds of it, there is a very good possiblity of it. Thanks for enlightening me! 🙂
 
Thanks for the chats today i guys i gotta go home and cook dinner for my little illicit family ( just a joke dont freak out) i’ll read these tomorrow to see what i missed. God Bless you all.

Your sister in Faith,
TarAshly
 

IF A PERSON IS ACTIVELY SINNING and not living according to the teachings of the Church, i.e. having sex out of wedlock, then yes they will be called on it​

" Called on it" OR be lambasted and ridiculed.??? There are ways to tell someone what they are doing is wrong. Comments about parents and cruel comments will drive people away, rightfully so.
 
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TarAshly:
BCP prevents and egg from being produced.
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Sorry, but you’re wrong. Here’s why:

"As mentioned above, due to the multiple undesirable side effects, the dosages of the hormones in the oral contraceptives were progressively decreased. However, their overall effectiveness has remained around 98% to 99%. Why?
Code: 
 Multiple studies have established that with the reduced hormone dosages breakthrough ovulation occurs. The rates cited in the literature range from 2% to 10% for breakthrough ovulation for all forms of oral contraception. Triphasic preparations may allow an ovulation once every four months.4 The progesterone only products may allow breakthrough ovulation 50% of the time; very low dose and long term use products (such as Norplant, Depo-provera) may alter the endometrium without inhibiting ovulation at all.5      In these cases where breakthrough ovulation has occured, the other mechanisms of the pill come into play. The barrier effect of the thickened cervical mucus may prevent sperm transport thereby preventing fertilization. However, when breakthrough ovulation occurs, the body produces its own estrogen which may allow the cervical mucus to support sperm migration. We must assume, therefore, that fertilization of the egg can occur with breakthrough ovulation."
–Dr. Brian Kopp, at: marysremnant.org/Friends/DBK/BKPill.html
 
TarAshly can you please enlighten me to you situation that you say were attacked on, I have a hard time commenting because I’m not sure of the details exactly. Thanks.🙂
 
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TarAshly:
i agree with both of you to a degree. however martino i would pose this question to you. Catholics are known as a culture to be oldschool and unforgiving, do you think that reputation is functional to the church and its purposes or that something should be done and an awareness made to be tolerant and forgiving without sacrificing the foundation of our faith?
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Well first I want to distinguish between what the Church actually is and what the Church is “made out to be” by the secular media and other non-Catholic folks. I agree that the Church is often presented as both oldschool and unforgiving, but I really do not think that it is a problem within the Church as much as I think it is a problem with secular media/culture. “Oldschool” for all practical purposes means that our doctrines do not change; I see that as a good thing not a bad thing. “Unforgiving” or intolerant is a label that is unfairly thrust upon the Catholic Church because She stands up for the truth in the face of so much adversity. Society places enormous pressures upon all the different Churches to change in accordance with the values of a particular culture. Every other church, to some degree or another, has succummed to these societal pressures at the exspense of truth. We have seen it happen over and over again with contraception, with divorce and remarriage, with promiscuity, with homosexuality, and on and on. These churches are heralded by the media as progressive and enlightened while the Catholic Church is rediculed as intolerant and hateful. The Church believes homosexual behavior is gravely sinful (for one example) and she warns people of the dangers. She also teaches that we must love the sinner even though we are to hate the sin. Although we are taught to love the homosexual, we can never tell them that the behavior is OK. That is not true love, because if we believe that they could lose there salvation we cannot stand by and watch them go down, in the name of love.

I always try to remind myself that love comes with price, it is not free! A wise priest once said that if you ever doubt that just look at a crucifix! The Church just like her founder, Jesus Christ, is always going to be a contradiction to the world and hated because of it! We should expect to be treated unfairly in the press and other public forums, we stand alone as the guardian of truth and that is not a popular place to be; again, look at a crucifix if you doubt that.
 
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