Are Catholics too high and mighty and overly judgemental?

[martino]

I meant to ask you for an example of the Church not being forgiving. Then I will try to answer that specifically because I wasn’t exactly sure what you meant by that.

You should think of changing your name to Tar(and feather)Ashly!

 

[Scott_Waddell]

Are Catholics too high and mighty and overly judgemental?

In general, no.

When someone is getting pounded, you have to consider context. I always try to gauge whether a thread is apologetic or pastoral in nature. If someone has a personal issue and are looking for advice, I try to treat their questions with a soft-touch.

Apologetics is a different animal. The goal is Truth and nothing but Truth, so you come out with all guns blazing. Obviously you want to avoid personal attacks, but you have to be prepared to have your ideas savaged, ridiculed and hounded mercilessly. Apologetics does not apologize as it were.

Scott

 

[bear06]

I’m reposting this because it seems to have gotten lost in the flurry!

know you feel condemned by anyone commenting on this but I think most people here are actually just concerned for your spiritual well-being.

Since I can’t see the original post could you refresh my memory here. I THOUGHT I read that you had “slipped” up since deciding to be celibate? Did you say you HADN’T slipped up once? What was the reason for the original post?

If you did say that you “slipped up” once then I think that this is why people keep suggesting that you physically remove yourself from the temptation. This may sound hard to believe but some of us would quit school, get a job and move out rather than commit what we believe to be a mortal sin.

One other thing I need to address here is that the pill is not an abortifacient. I know somebody else already mentioned this but I want to make sure this doesn’t get get lost too. The pill is absolutely an abortifacient and I’m positive you need another doctor if he told you it wasn’t. It prevents ovulation some of the time, it makes the environment hostile for a feritilized egg if it doesn’t and finally sloughs off the baby if all else fails. It is evil, evil, evil! Can you imagine how many people’s babies have been killed due to bad info?!

 

[Exporter]

MARTINO, Thanks. You said it well.

I always try to remind myself that love comes with price, it is not free! A wise priest once said that if you ever doubt that just look at a crucifix! The Church just like her founder, Jesus Christ, is always going to be a contradiction to the world and hated because of it! We should expect to be treated unfairly in the press and other public forums, we stand alone as the guardian of truth and that is not a popular place to be; again, look at a crucifix if you doubt that.

 

[Finella]

TarAshly:

oh no im not writting off the church ever i got a horribly rude message from a poster in the private message, he also posted a nasty one on the forum about the way i was raised, about my parents and so on, i was so shocked and crushed that in a Catholic and Christian forum someone would be that cruel thats what had me thinking that way. my Faith runs way to deep to allow that to dam it up.

Ok…yes, this is a Catholic/Christian forum. But there is no way to know if the people on it are really Catholic/Christian. Don’t you think that anti-Catholic people would love to pose as Catholics and misrepresent the faith to try and drive people away? Just food for thought.

On another note, I can totally identify with you in a lot of ways. I lived with my fiance before marriage for finacial reasons… and yes we had sex. I regret it deeply. We are still working out those issues after 5 years.

Also, up until a few months ago I saw no problem at all with using the Pill for birth control. After all, I would never have an abortion and would love and welcome a child if God saw fit to give one to me anyway.

But then I started investigating the Catholic Faith. I found the reasons that the Church condemns birth control and decided to obey them. That doesn’t mean that I totally agree or understand them…but, if I hope to convert, then I figure I better get used to following all the rules…not just the ones I like.

I am trying to learn NFP. By the way, I highly recommend the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler (not sure if that is the right spelling).

But I believe that being on the Pill since I was 14 (for medical reasons as well) has really screwed with my system. My cervical fluid after 5 months is still almost non-existent… my cycles are crazy…

And I think I too have PCOS. My sister does. I think my symptoms were being masked by the Pill. But I can tell you that I will never go back on the Pill to treat the PCOS. I will investigate all other options. The thought of having to abstain permanently so as not to sin while using the Pill is just not appealing to either me or my husband.

I am really sorry that you are not getting what you feel you need from these forums. I hope and pray that you will get the support and understanding that you crave… maybe a personal approach would suit you better?

Oh, and to answer your original question, lol… I think that, yes, some Catholics can be entirely too judgemental. But I find that the majority of them do it out of LOVE. My husband is one of those types that comes off as arrogant when his intent is anything but. I have to remind him to take a softer approach. So please don’t assume that just because a post comes off as judgemental or arrogant that that was the intent. On the other hand, of course there are some crusty old curmudgeons that do feel holier-than-thou and aren’t afraid to stick it to ya, lol.

Finella

 

[Amber101]

Timidity:

Back when I was living in England, I was driving down the road one day, and I saw a car pulled over on the side of a pretty empty country road. So I pulled over, and I quickly saw that the driver, an attractive and capable young woman, had a flat tire (or “tyre”, as they spell it there).

I asked her, “Do you need some help with that?”

“Oh, yes! Thank you very much!”

So she opened her trunk (“boot”), and I took out the tire and the jack. I put the jack in place and said “Okay… just keep twisting this until the tire is off the ground.”

She looked at me, then at the jack, and back at me. “You’re not going to do it for me?”

“No… I’m helping,” I said. (See, I’m a firm believer of teaching a person to fish…)

“Oh,” she said. She paused for a moment before saying “I think I’ll wait for someone else.”

“Okay,” I said, and I drove away.

It this a true story? If so you rock! I love this story, but it’s kind of sad also.

My step-dad made sure I knew how to change my tires, oil, check the transmission fluid and do basic minor repairs. When I had to get the transmission rebuilt on my first car, he made me help me take it out. I had to go to the library and find an old repair manual and make copies of the info I needed. I thought it was all a big pain in the rear, but boy, I sure did learn a lot and I eventually took great pride in being able to do so much on my own.

Thanks again for sharing that. Your point was well taken.

 

[Lilyofthevalley]

Don’t you think that anti-Catholic people would love to pose as Catholics and misrepresent the faith to try and drive people away?​

I think some card carrying Catholics do that,drive people away, without the help of anti-Catholics.

 

[La_Chiara]

Lilyofthevalley:

Don’t you think that anti-Catholic people would love to pose as Catholics and misrepresent the faith to try and drive people away?​

I think some card carrying Catholics do that,drive people away, without the help of anti-Catholics.

Lilyof theValley is a Protestant. She is certainly entitled to her own opinion and is entitled to post her opinion. But for a Protestant to make such a statement (with no support and without identifying herself as Protestant) about Catholics on a Catholic forum may not be viewed kindly by many Catholics.

 

[The_Barrister]

1. No, he sleeps on the couch thats change enough.
2. not co habitating is not an option for the reasons i have explained plenty of times.

to the other poster who lived with her husband before marriage:
thank you and its nice to have an opinion from someone in the same situation. i appreciate your responses and feel i learned something from you. thanks again.

Then you continue to live adversely to your chosen faith. You asked for our advice, and now you have it.

If you are looking for a “catholicism” that will morph and change to meet your definition of morality, let me enlighten you - there is no such thing. God has told us what he expects of us, and it is up to us to meet those expectations, not the other way around.

Finella - please choose a different color, or no color at all, and cool it with the large type. Your posts are eyestrain/headache-inducing.

 

[TarAshly]

morning all im back. i did some soul searching and went to confession last night before my premarital counseling session. all went well and i am feeling at peace with the decisions i have made. My fiance and i talked a lot last night about how difficult this decision has been and we both agreed its for the best and we are doing the best we can do and God sees us trying to correct our sins and for that im sure he is pleased. pleasing anyone (outside of a priest) on this forum was never my intention, and if i offended anyone i am sorry. i came here seeking advice on a personal issue and now see that that was a mistake, i would love to stay and discuss political, social and moral issues but i will no longer seek advice. i can see i am severly outaged for the majority here and would recieve more parenting and lecturing than advice. so i would love to continue on with this topic but will no longer answer anymore questions about the situation i sought advice over.

 

[TarAshly]

and BARRISTER your not exactly a card carrying Catholic your more of a torch yielding nonforgiving kind.

 

[The_Barrister]

TarAshly:

and BARRISTER your not exactly a card carrying Catholic your more of a torch yielding nonforgiving kind.

Thank you for your definition of my faith, although I’m not sure what a “card carrying Catholic” actually follows. The only Catholic cards I have are prayer cards (St. Michael, St. Theresa). And I do carry them.

So, what part of the Magisterium do I not follow?

And I should forgive you for what, exactly? What have you done that requires my forgiveness?

 

[La_Chiara]

I am concerned by a phenomenon I observe on these forums. Too many times when someone (often someone who is not Catholic) receives responses with which they disagree or which are not as “warm and fuzzy” as they would like, then they resort to name-calling. I am particularly annoyed that non-Catholics (i.e., Protestants) feel that it is acceptable to come on CATHOLIC forums and CRITICIZE the Church and Catholics. I would not be pleased if someone came to my home and criticized me or my family. Calling Barrister a “torch yielding nonforgiving kind” (of Catholic) is neither charitable nor called for. If you are not open to the answer, don’t ask the question. Especially if you are looking for support from Catholics on a Catholic forum for behavior which is not in keeping with our Catholic faith. To title your thread–Are Catholics too high and mighty and overly judgemental?–(which is actually a judgment rather than an honest question) is rude and ensures that you will get non-Catholics agreeing with you and Catholics disagreeing and being insulted.

 

[patg]

TarAshly:

i came here seeking advice on a personal issue and now see that that was a mistake, i would love to stay and discuss political, social and moral issues but i will no longer seek advice. i can see i am severly outaged for the majority here and would recieve more parenting and lecturing than advice. so i would love to continue on with this topic but will no longer answer anymore questions about the situation i sought advice over.

You also came to a place where, in my experience, the majority of posters are on the the extreme fringes of Catholocism, a long way from mainstream Catholic thought. As in everything else in life, it is dangerous to rely on a single source for answers or opinions, especially such an extreme one. That’s one the the reasons given for why there are 4 accepted gospels - we need them all to get a balanced portrait of Jesus.

Would you ask a tobacco company if you should smoke? Maybe, but you might learn a lot more by consulting a few other sources.

Keep talking to other people and try other Catholic forums Good luck and best wishes.

Pat

 

[bones_IV]

Let’s review shall we.

Thou shalt not commit adultery. A lot of sins go under this one.

1. Pre-marital sex
2. Contraception
3. Homosexuality
4. Pornagraphy
5. Mastarbation
6. Co-habitation

There you have it. Our culture in general is confused about sin. I saw it on a homily in Mass on EWTN. So many Catholics today are confused about the faith and often times are ready to leave the church of their baptism. I say a prayer for them. I admit that I tried to justify an evil myself at one time. It got absolutely no where with my parents, they knew I was just saying things to satisfy my lifestyle. One disaster led to another. Sins have very serious consequences. A lot of it is poor examples being set by our parents, the clergy, Bishops and priests. They teach its wrong but a lot of them do not really understand it! The stuff that they teach often times comes with a poor knowledge. Many of our priests are not trained very well. So many of our people feel hurt and leave the church because there is no one to support them. Our youth are not being taught the right issues. Are our bishops and priests talking about the real issues or are they wolves dressed up in sheep’s skin? It’s no wonder so many people are leaving the church.
We are week human beings and will error in the faith. I would strongly suggest reading an apologetic book called “How to not share your faith.”

Padre Pio “Don’t worry, work and pray.”

 

[TarAshly]

however LaChiara i am a Catholic, i attend mass religiously and teach CCE to seventh graders, the phenonomenon that concerns me is that Catholicism is becomming to much like a fraternity or sorority and there are no new pledges allowed. again i post the question why is there such a them vs. us mentality between Catholics and Protestants, are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ and Christianity?

 

[The_Barrister]

TarAshly:

however LaChiara i am a Catholic, i attend mass religiously and teach CCE to seventh graders, the phenonomenon that concerns me is that Catholicism is becomming to much like a fraternity or sorority and there are no new pledges allowed. again i post the question why is there such a them vs. us mentality between Catholics and Protestants, are we not all brothers and sisters in Christ and Christianity?

I’d still like an answer to my questions. I answered yours.

So, what part of the Magisterium do I not follow?

And I should forgive you for what, exactly? What have you done that requires my forgiveness?

 

[felra]

TarAshly:

and BARRISTER your not exactly a card carrying Catholic your more of a torch yielding nonforgiving kind.

Please read the forum guidelines for respectful discussion conduct. A word of advice and observation: if you expect others to be non-judgemental and accepting of where you are at, then you need to first model this yourself–why should you expect this of others when some of your remarks come across as caustic and rude and judgemental?

 

[midwest_mom]

If you are looking for a “catholicism” that will morph and change to meet your definition of morality, let me enlighten you - there is no such thing. God has told us what he expects of us, and it is up to us to meet those expectations, not the other way around.

That is exactly why I became Catholic. As a protestant, I was told “it’s all between you and God” with no judgements. So I continued to do things that were sins. The protestant church’s I attended were changing to fit in to society. Politically correct Hymnals, referring to God as she, openly gay ministers, etc. The Catholic church tries to change society to come back to the teachings of Jesus. Isn’t that what we are here to do? Enlighten people to what Jesus wants us to do? People leave the church because there are other churches that will tell them what they want to hear and let them do what they want to do. Telling them it’s OK because it’s “all between you and God”. I don’t think they purposely mislead people, but it is a very dangerous road.

I can be pretty pushy sometimes when it comes to the Church, but the rules are for a purpose. Our time on earth is very short compared with eternity with Christ. I’ll suffer a bit now, for my eternity later.

Peace

 

[TarAshly]

ferla i appreciate the advice but its unnecesary thank you. i meant it as a joke, again i would ask you to keep in mind what i was told that tone is hard to tell in a chat forum. it was a joke.