Are women attracted to nice guys?

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Madaglan:
One of my friends told me tonight that many psychologists believe women are attracted to certain qualities found in jerks; in particular, the qualities of cockiness and humorlessness
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You may be on to something here. It’s startling how many women are attracted to convicts. I know of one gal whose list of ex-boyfriends are often found on the county’s “most wanted” lists.
 
Of course! There’s loads of women/girls that prefer nice guys over jerks, including myself. 😃 You just have to wait for the right lady to come along, and it will happen eventually! 🙂

Praying for you, Christina
 
I just thought of smething that may be important…

Emotionally healthy women are

attracted to emotionally healthy men.

If a woman is attracted to criminals or jerks, there’s a very good chance that she is not emotionally healthy.

Likewise for a man who is attracted to a woman who needs to be “rescued”.

Malia
 
Originally Quoted by Feanaro’s Wife:
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Likewise for a man who is attracted to a woman who needs to be “rescued”.
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What exactly are you talking about? Guys who go after girls who have troubled lives?

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls who have problems in their lives, and a lot of times I fancy that I can help out, either as a friend or as boyfriend. Is this wrong thinking?
 
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Madaglan:
What exactly are you talking about? Guys who go after girls who have troubled lives?

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls who have problems in their lives, and a lot of times I fancy that I can help out, either as a friend or as boyfriend. Is this wrong thinking?
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Uh oh… if it is, then I’m definately going to have to change… :rolleyes: I think like that all the time! 😦
 
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Madaglan:
What exactly are you talking about? Guys who go after girls who have troubled lives?

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls who have problems in their lives, and a lot of times I fancy that I can help out, either as a friend or as boyfriend. Is this wrong thinking?
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If you are open to it, I really suggest you find the book called “10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives” by Dr.Laura. (Don’t worry, they have one for us women too, lol).

It can explain why this may be wrong thinking on your part much better than I could.

Check it out here:

amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060929448/qid=1123825610/sr=1-4/ref=sr_1_4/104-2001205-1852718?v=glance&s=books

Malia
 
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Madaglan:
What exactly are you talking about? Guys who go after girls who have troubled lives?

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls who have problems in their lives, and a lot of times I fancy that I can help out, either as a friend or as boyfriend. Is this wrong thinking?
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It might be that you want to save them from their troubles, be a knight in shining armor for them.

You’re problem Madaglan might not be that you are to nice for girls but that you are attracted to the wrong type of woman.
 
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Madaglan:
What exactly are you talking about? Guys who go after girls who have troubled lives?

Sometimes I find myself attracted to girls who have problems in their lives, and a lot of times I fancy that I can help out, either as a friend or as boyfriend. Is this wrong thinking?
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Yea, this sounds like the phenomenon when some women are intent on “changing” a man. Or the “he will change after we get married” mentality.

My advice is to STEER CLEAR of anyone who lives out life on the drama stage. Sure we all have our daily crosses & struggles but some people live in chaos 24/7!
 
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Madaglan:
I think I may have asked something similiar to this before: but do girls (women) ever like nice guys as more than just a friend.

It just seems to me that whenever girls meet a guy who is “nice” they only see him as a friend. Does a guy have to be a “jerk” for a girl to be attracted to him?
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I just married the nicest guy in the entire world 6 days ago. He is a devout Catholic, strong, masculine, caring, a hard-worker who wants to provide for his family-- he’s the most awesome man in the world (IMHO). 🙂

So, yes, women do like “nice guys”. Women with their heads on straight at any rate.

However, there are many women who are insecure, not mature in their faith, indiscriminate in their dating choices… and they do choose unwisely.

So, nice guys of the world-- hang in there-- there are nice women in the world who absolutely appreciate the qualities you describe. I thank God every day for my “nice guy”.
 
You know I used to wonder why guys always seemed to go for the girls who were real witches. I am pleased to say that I am married to the nicest guy I have ever met! My husband is one of the most loving, friendly and kind people you would ever want to meet. He to went through a period in his life when girls said, “You are such a good friend.” Lucky for me. Now so many women I know are jealous because I’m married to a great guy!
 
I think that whole “Oh poor me women won’t date me because I’m such a nice guy” thing is just an excuse.

I would’ve dated a nice, guy, I did date several nice guys, and eventually married one.

A lot of those self-proclaimed “nice guys” were annoying, clingy, whiny, clingy, obnoxious, boring, AND CLINGY!!!

Women overwhelmingly like men who are independant, and passionate about SOMETHING. It doesn’t matter what, be passionate about the history of insects for all we care, but be PASSIONATE about something! And, not her, at least not right off the bat.

If you are too eager she’ll think you’re desperate. If you’re a little bit aloof she’ll be more interested.

And don’t be blind to your own faults, (don’t obsess over them all the time either) I know of at least one guy who used the whole “I’m a nice guy” excuse when in fact girls were put off by his horrible TEMPER!
 
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gaothdearg:
Of course. I love nice guys! I am from Ireland by the way e-mail me
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Um, Madaglan, how exactly shall I put this? (Cough.) (Ahem.)
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Elizastaci:
Oh believe me, I know whereof you speak. I’m 18 and have never had a boyfriend, my interests are way more academic than most people’s, and, oh, did I mention I am also 6’2, which on a girl is actually a bit of a problem for most guys?

So don’t despair- I haven’t yet.
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(Somewhat louder cough.) (Ahem.)

Peace-bwu said:
OK, it’s time to get Elazistaci and Madaglan together!
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(Pretty darn loud cough.) (Ahem.) 🙂
 
I’m not sure they understood you. Might want to cough a bit louder. 😉
 
Chris Jacobsen:
Women go for the bad boys.
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It’s OK if they go for the bad boys. But always, after they marry them, they complain inordinately.
 
If they at least do marry the girl that proves they are not as bad as some.
 
I have two younger sisters, both intelligent and attractive. Guys who treated them well were never attractive to them, whereas guys who weren’t so kind to them often were more attractive to them. Knowing my sisters as well as I do, it isn’t men being jerks that they found attractive, even though it may have looked that way. What it really boiled down to was their perception of masculinity. Too many weak men use being the “nice guy” as a shield, basically saying that when a woman turns him down it must be a problem with her and not him.

It probably shouldn’t be as hard for men to understand as it is. I mean, if a woman isn’t feminine, no amount of niceness seems to make men attracted to her. That’s why some really sweet girls who don’t act feminine seem to think that men prefer stuck up women.

Especially in younger groups, like college and high school, if you compare the school bully to a bookworm, the bully seems stronger–so it isn’t the niceness of the bookworm that is the turn-off, it is the percieved masculinity. That is also why a sweet female bookworm might not get as many dates as a stuck up girl, who is always dressed to kill and appears more feminine.

I’ve been out of college 10 years, and I’m happily married. Fortunately, many people outgrown the misconceptions about masculinity and feminity as they mature.

Blessings.
 
depends on what you mean by “nice”. me i’m not looking for a general nice guy. i’m looking for a good Catholic man!!!
 
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