Are women attracted to nice guys?

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Your success/failure ratio will increase
This is part of the problem - desiring a better “success rate”. Who, in their right Catholic mind, wants a better “success rate”? Aren’t we just looking for one? The right one?

Why mess around with pan-fish when you’re really wanting a musky?

I know a man who has had many, many, more girlfriends than I. But I’ve got one more wife than he. Heh, heh, eat dirt buddy!
 
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gaothdearg:
A lot of people here are a bit mad
What can you do? :ehh:

Eamon
 
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silverwings:
Not all girl will have hurt feelings. The guy I am with now liked me for several months before he asked me out, and we saw each other nearly everyday at lunch and club meetings with plenty of conversations in between. 🙂 And I couldn’t throw any tomatoes if I wanted to. The mocking birds finished off the last of them about two weeks ago.😉
~K~
There are lots of exceptions and they are usually the most pleasant.

“Generally speaking” was my escape hatch.

Just like: Generally speaking, most guys are to stupid to know when there is an opening being presented to them.
 
Black Jaque:
This is part of the problem - desiring a better “success rate”. Who, in their right Catholic mind, wants a better “success rate”? Aren’t we just looking for one? The right one?

Why mess around with pan-fish when you’re really wanting a musky?

I know a man who has had many, many, more girlfriends than I. But I’ve got one more wife than he. Heh, heh, eat dirt buddy!
Some are better at sorting out undesirables with a brief conversation.

And I honestly hope my own kids take your attitude.

The success rate I spoke of really had more to do with ego and self image damage caused by rejection.
 
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Madaglan:
Yeah, I know what you mean. I think I may have accidentally hurt a few girls’ feelings because I didn’t act fast enough (because of social anxiety, mostly 😦 ).

I think one thing that has made a BIG difference is I now have friends who are girls, even if most of them I only talk with on the phone. In high school I didn’t have any friends who were girls, so although I liked some girls a lot (especially the blue stockings 🙂 ) I felt really shy even to talk with them.

I am just wondering something. It seems that many romantic relationships develop from what is initially just friendship. Now that I can talk to girls with more ease, do you think that getting a girlfriend through friendship is the most likely path for me? Do you think that girls ever start out with a guy as a just friend but then find that they are attracted to him and his personality, and so give clues that they want more than just friendship?
Of course they do. Be who you are. But if you ask a girl out before you have a chance to get really nervous about it, it’s easier. You are still a whippersnapper. Enjoy your life.
 
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Madaglan:
I think I may have asked something similiar to this before: but do girls (women) ever like nice guys as more than just a friend.

It seems to me that most girls, even Christian ones, are attracted to guys who are jerks, or those guys who are essentially brainless.

It just seems to me that whenever girls meet a guy who is “nice” they only see him as a friend. Does a guy have to be a “jerk” for a girl to be attracted to him?
Yes, if they are a “nice” girl themself, then they will like “nice” guys, more than friends. Birds of a feather flock together I suppose. Lack of maturity can cause a girl to be attracted to the “jerk” guy, just like visa versa. Once a person truly knows themself and what they want out of life and out of a spouse, they’ll attract that in a mate. Trouble is, I think most young people are given no advice from their parents on what makes a good wife or husband. I was given nil. I read recently in my Magnificat devotional that like virtue atttracts like virtue. Interesting huh? Ever wonder why friends drift apart? I think this is why.

God Bless~~
 
It doesn’t seem to be that way, at least not from my observation. Look at all the girls who runaway with bikers, rockstars, drug dealers, bankrobbers, and cult leaders.

Intelligent, clean-cut, clean-living, and polite young men have more than once been dismissed as ‘boring’ from prospective girlfriends and/or first dates.
 
Hi Madaglan,

I used to think the same thing. I dated from age sixteen until I was twenty five with women/girls telling me that I was just too nice. Then I met and married my wife - we just celebrated our 37th Anniversary. So - don’t despair. The older you get, the better chances you have at finding someone mature enough to appreciate your qualities. Don’t change!
FlowerMan
 
Originally Quoted by sparkle:
Trouble is, I think most young people are given no advice from their parents on what makes a good wife or husband.
Indeed. Of course, not all young people grow up in ideal families in which the mother and father love each other. My parents hate each other. :whacky:
 
Bobby A. Greene:
It doesn’t seem to be that way, at least not from my observation. Look at all the girls who runaway with bikers, rockstars, drug dealers, bankrobbers, and cult leaders.

/QUOTE]

Yes, but what kind of girl is she REALLY on the inside? They probably deserve each other.
 
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Madaglan:
Indeed. Of course, not all young people grow up in ideal families in which the mother and father love each other. My parents hate each other. :whacky:
Gosh–that’s a shame! I’m so sorry. But see, my parents have never fought once in 55 years, and they still hold hands all the time, and adore each other, and I still had no direction whatsoever in this area. They just let me do whatever I wanted, the opposite of strict. I wish they had guided me way more spiritually, and in the area of marriage. Example is not everything, words are still needed.
 
Ok confession :o I was always attracted to bad boys. I can remember in 2nd grade a boy from the near by junior high being a teacher’s aid to our class. Longer hair, black leather jacket -my 1st crush. I had the “I will rescue him from himself” syndrome. Always liked the troubled makers. Although I never like guys that acted like arrogant jerks. Probably explains why I didn’t date until I met my husband (when I was almost 17.)

He was a bad boy but a “nice” bad boy. When my mom met him the first time after he left she says “He’s seems like a good boy.” Mind you at 17 my husband had long hair, wore a leather jacket with spikes and skull shaped rings on his fingers. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how she came to that conclusion -6th sense I guess.

He was nice -not arrogant, or cocky. No stupid pick up line. He was very genuine, very sweet - and very much into trouble. And I was very niave. Ofcourse I had to marry him against my parents wishes when I was 18, so you could say I had a strong streak of rebellion myself.

But there is a happy ending. My agnostic/ athiest alcoholic, drug abusing (and other not very pleasant habits) husband is now a clean, sober, strong Catholic and my absolute best friend. But the 1st half of our (now 15 yr) marriage was very difficult.

My experience is with the women I know that married the bad boys ended up with bad marriages. I consider myself very blessed and am incredibly grateful to God for the graces He has given us.

And the women that married the “geeks” are generally very happily married. When girls grow into women they want a good guy trust me. Ofcourse with me that didn’t happen until after I was married so it was pretty rough for a while.

Hang in there, the right woman will come along and they will appreciate all your wonderful qualities and your strong values.
 
Originally Quoted by rayne89:

Hang in there, the right woman will come along and they will appreciate all your wonderful qualities and your strong values.
I hope so. Maybe all of you can pray that the girl who still lives in my heart will yet fall in love with me 😃

She’s going to study for a while in an east European country which has a high percentage of Catholics in it (the country has basically Catholics and atheists, and she’s evangelical). So, maybe she’ll discover Catholicism, convert, and then think about a nice Catholic boy when she gets back 🙂

Sorry, that was bad of me. :o
 
Hey Madalglan:

Are you a man or woman? Man–I get tired of posters where you can’t tell.

If you are a man, I just say hang in there----BE the king so you can get your Queen.! Or visa versa.

May God Bless You----
 
Feanaro's Wife:
. It takes us females quite awhile to grow up and realize that we want a nice, caring, masculine, honest, hardworking, trustworthy, intelligent…etc man who puts God first.

Malia
Boy, does it! I think a lot of it depends on how we grew up. At least in my case it did.

Sherilo
 
Originally Quoted by sparkle:
Hey Madalglan:
Are you a man or woman? Man–I get tired of posters where you can’t tell.
If you are a man, I just say hang in there----BE the king so you can get your Queen.! Or visa versa.
May God Bless You----
I’m actually a guy. A lot of people get me mixed up with Mary Magdalen. Madaglan is actually the name of a king in Arthurian lore who was defeated twice in combat by Sir Lancelot. He put up a good fight though 🙂 Haha…guess I shouldn’t have chosen the name of a “loser.” 😛

In any case, have you ever loved someone so much and didn’t get that love returned, but still loved that person even after many years? That’s the way I feel about this girl right now. My heart actually aches a lot, as all the energy in my limbs suddenly implodes into a cold, chilling ball around it, which besides gives me this half-fainting feeling. I love her a lot deep down, and it hurts knowing that there is really nothing I can do to change her mind about me.

I oftentimes pray that perhaps some day that this girl will suddenly realize that she loves me, but I think it is a long shot. Nevertheless, I hope that God could make this happen. It would be a most gracious miracle if he did do it. 😃

I sometimes wish that I could buy a love potion from some place of magical repute, so that she would love me and the pain would end, but that would be wrong, and I can’t do that, since it wouldn’t be right to her or to God.
 
I beleive the problem is that most people dont know what they want really. they say they want a serious relationship, a nice guy, this or that but because we dont live what we say and are not true to ourselves it is very difficult to be true to another person.
So when we have an idea of what we want a person to be in our lives, that is all it is an idea, when that person doesnt live up to the idea we presented in our minds we feel let down, we as a society and people need to really wake up and realize that there is no quick fix, no perfect person and that yes relationships take work. her in lies the problem there are woman out there that want nice men with morals, values, just as your saying you have but how many are willing to submitt to being a real christian woman??? how many will live the life of a true christian being submissive to her husband the way that the bible teaches if he is truely a man of God and Loves her the way that Christ teaches.
If we as men and woman would just go back to such basic teachings there wouldnt be any of this. You will find the right woman she just needs to be a true christian woman, willing to submitt to God first, then she will know if you truely are a man of God that you are the right man for her in her life. Good Luck and God Bless
 
This thread reminds me of an old article in Cosmopolitan magazine. A woman was taking on this very question. Her husband was a “sensitive” man, who was in touch with her feelings and his, all that jazz. One night she heard a noise in the house, and awakened him hoping he would check it out. Apparently this guy just wanted to call the police. She knew it was kinda silly, but it bugged her. I think that’s kinda what goes on. We want someone gentle to us, but that will kick some serious $%# if anyone messes with us. The “bad boys” satisfy our desire for the latter, which we tend to think as more important sometimes.

As for me, I married the nicest guy in the world who also is protective of me (bugged me at first, then kinda got to like it), and I have no doubt about what he would do to protect his family if need be. We were friends for months before he made a move, after much prompting from me. He’s painfully shy, but at first I figured he wasn’t interested. I’ve been drawn to the bad boy type before, and my husband with his enthusiasm for motorcycles, military side career, and definite masculinity fulfills that for me along with being a nice guy. It’s all in God’s plan, I guess.

Also, it sounds as if you do have the “savior mentality” regarding some women. My brother has that too. One seriously devastating relationship after another. He’s now “married” to a woman who has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and one of her compulsions is to continue in an adulterous relationship. Beware, Beware. If you are even thinking about dating someone with that kind of past, counseling should be in the picture from a very early stage. Otherwise, you may end up feeling very hopeless about your situation, as he does.
 
I was raised secular, and as a teen we were told to be sexual but marrying was something you shouldn’t even consider until you were out of college and had a career. So here you are 16 years old, and naturally you are interested in young boys but since you aren’t looking for Mr. Right to hold you down, you end up dating or should I say allowing young men to just use you up emotionally in long term relationships that will go no where.

I met my husband when I was 19. I wasn’t looking for a husband, I was looking for a nice guy. I’m now 28 years old, and I don’t understand how grown woman are looking for a perfect man to have their child with. Remember that childrens mocking song in elementry school? “First comes LOVE, then comes marriage, then comes a a baby in a baby carriage”.There is a lot of truth in that.

I fell in love at 19, married at 23. I wish we were married sooner, but no one would let us think of marriage until we had our undergraduate degrees. But we were talking about marriage atleast since we were 20/21. I wasn’t going to sit in a relationship for years on end, if it didn’t have marriage as the goal.

A lot of young people 18-23 want to live as husband and wife, but because marriage is frowned upon they just hook up with whoever and cohabitate. 86% of all cohabiating relationships don’t last three years! (Stephen Rhoads “Taking Sex Differences Seriously”)Imagine being a thrity year old man or women who have been througha few serial partners, talk abot emotional baggage.

Young men and women never get to form a true identity of themselves and then fall in love with one another as mature individuals. Instead we just throw anything in our lives by “trying it out” living together and see if it sticks or not. All you have to watch are these Judge Judy type shows, and ex-boyfriends and girl friends fighting over joint bills and property, cell phones, video game consoles, and foutons.

Women move in with men thinking they can change them by being the coolest live-in girlfriend, by not nagging and allowing him to go out with his friends and do whatever he wants. Men will never change from being bad boys, if they never have the chance to sweep you off your feet and wisk you away to happily ever after, when so many women are groveling to play happy homemaker without the commitment of marriage… Eventually if they do stay together and get married, the woman more or less just become his mother and not his wife, as he comes and goes as he pleases.

I might copy and paste this post if the thread goes to a second page.
 
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