Duties Of A Husband
It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband.
The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.
He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties.
Duties Of A Wife
On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.
To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband’s consent.
Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience.
- Catechism of the Council of Trent
'In like manner also let wives be subject to their husbands: that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives. Considering your chaste conversation with fear. Whose adorning let it not be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: But the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:
As Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, doing well, and not fearing any disturbance. Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honour to the female as to the weaker vessel, and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered. ’
1 Peter 3:1-7
That the husband is the head of the family, and the wife is under obedience to him, is unchangable Catholic teaching. God Himself is a patriarch and this is the model and order He has given to the family and society.
This is why it is important to choose a good husband, and if you would have a problem with a particular potential husband being in authority over you, not to marry. Because afterwards, it is a matter of virtue and sin. Obedience is a virtue and sanctifies us and gains us interior holiness and reward in Heaven. If a husband absconds from his role, that’s a sin – and so too if a wife usurps it, this is what Eve did, and so the children of Eve are constantly tempted this way, because of a predisposition to this failing now being a part of original sin. Just as the husband is tempted to either allow it, or attempt to us it wrongly to satisfy some sinful passion rather than virtuously, which is its sole purpose.
To people who have long been propagandized by both Communist originating Feminism and an over individualism that defies any subjection, these things can be at best foreign ideas. But they’re written in the natural and divine law and so we can appreciate the goodness in them, rather than mistakenly follow the propaganda, if we are open to doing so and seek to do so.
“Subjection” to God is a good thing. Subjection to those God places in authority over us is too. Obedience is how saints are made, and virtue gained. Obedience of children to parents, religious to religious superiors, and wife to husband, penitent to the confessor…
If an archangel, if such were imaginable, should envy and dislike and say it us unfair not to be in the Choir of Seraphim rather than the Choir of Archangels… what kind of respect to God in Heaven would this be? So it is not unfitting that some be in one position, and others be in another.