Asking a Catholic Girl Out

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
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Well, I guess it really depends on the person POV, that’s how I would react but honestly if the guide from others can make the person more attractive and love his girl more then nothing wrong with that.

Btw, pianist claire is right. Most posters (including myself) think you should just ask her out, which might include making mistakes and wrong approaches. There’s a reason why it’s called ‘falling’ in love
 
Something to consider. If the OP is going through a period – where he falls easily into infatuation. A month ago – it was another young woman – he had a crush on.
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Melodeonist:
Truth is, I don’t know how to date. I’d feel like a creepy pervert if I asked women out unless I was also going somewhere with friends. I have a crush on a Christian woman at work who’s the same age as me, but she probably already has a boyfriend. She also goes away to college so I only see her when college is out. She seems to be very pious as she apparently turned down a non Christian who wanted to date her.
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Ah, but she was a Protestant. I wouldn’t waste my time dating a non/cafeteria Catholic.
 
Melodeonist said:
Ah, but she was a Protestant. I wouldn’t waste my time dating a non/cafeteria Catholic.
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:roll_eyes:

Mel in all seriousness, you were just as enamored. It isn’t like we don’t have proof. Maybe, this week, you’re only into Catholic girls, but last month you were all about her.
 
“waste your time”?

Wow. I get the point of “I want to date a girl with similar belief” but this sounds as you have a checklist and don´t see the human behind. This sounds rude.
 
Melodeonist said:
Ah, but she was a Protestant. I wouldn’t waste my time dating a non/cafeteria Catholic.
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I trust this didn’t came out the way it should. Try to be as open as you can. Maybe God’s calling you to help that cafeteria catholic become a devout one.

Also, I might be out of line here, but if you can move past a crush or liking that fast, you probably didn’t have anything but a sudden infatuation from knowing someone new. Try figuring out what your feelings are before you get any deeper with the girl you’re approaching now.
 
AAT said:
I trust this didn’t came out the way it should. Try to be as open as you can. Maybe God’s calling you to help that cafeteria catholic become a devout one.
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Why? It sounds fine to me. When I was dating I would not have been open to dating a non/cafeteria catholic. I broke up with one girlfriend for that very reason. No point in settling for someone who doesn’t take the faith seriously when you want someone who is in the race with you and repared to be with you in teaching the kids about the faith etc.

In the end I married a very Catholic lady and I’m happy that she is 100% on board with the faith.

It’s never a good idea to date/marry someone with the idea that “you might convert them”. It might happen, but it might not and you could end up in a marriage that is difficult for that reason.

Quit shaming/discouraging people who only want to date comitted catholics.
 
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There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date just good catholic women, but I’m basicly saying keep an open mind. Also, I said it like that because he said “waste my time dating (insert anything here)”. That’s just a harsh thing to say to anyone, no matter who they are.
AdamPeter said:
It’s never a good idea to date/marry someone with the idea that “you might convert them”. It might happen, but it might not and you could end up in a marriage that is difficult for that reason.
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Totally agree with this. That’s why I said maybe. But converting someone is a horrible reason to get married. All I’m saying is, be open to getting close to anyone. Eventhough it might not be a potential future wife.

I feel like maybe my word choice threw off what I wanted to say. Honestly, there’s nothing bad in wanting to marry a faithful catholic and I’m not trying to offend any of you. I would probably want to as well.

I’m sorry if I offended you mel aswell. I just can’t comprehand with what you said. Also, to anyone who is offended by my post, sorry.

I don’t take dating as a light subject. And I guess the word “waste my time” got me a little irritated. My first crush was not catholic, yet she has the most beautiful faith and trust to God I’ve seen. She actually inspired me to take my faith seriously, eventhough being a protestant. We never tried to convert each other, nor did we talk about faith that much. But I became a so much better person through her and the time that God allowed me to spend with her.

Again, I’m probably a little rambly, but sorry to anyone who is offended by my post
 
AAT said:
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date just good catholic women, but I’m basicly saying keep an open mind. Also, I said it like that because he said “waste my time dating (insert anything here)”. That’s just a harsh thing to say to anyone, no matter who they are.
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I get that. But I don’t see the point of saying to someone “keep an open mind” in this area. I mean, if someone has made a decision to find a catholic spouse, why should they change that criteria? It would be a waste of both people’s time if they decided to date someone they had no intention of marrying. Even in the business of finding a spouse in general, it helps to know what you want and rule out people who don’t fit the bill.

It may sound harsh, but if my wife had said to me that she didn’t want many kids and wanted to be a career woman…we wouldn’t be married now. One might say that having the criteria of finding a woman who would like to look after the children at home is harsh…but it was important to me.
 
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Honestly, I don’t wanna change anyone. I’m interpretating “dating” here differently with you I suspect. So I’m going to say that’s bad advice from me, I take it back, let’s keep this on mel and how to help him instead.
 
Ok. Fair enough. I think though for most people on here, “dating” is basically the process of finding a spouse.
 
As the Bible says, “don’t marry a foreign woman”. As foreigners were gentiles and Israelites were Jews, if a devout Jew married a gentile, there would probably be conflicts and possibly cause the Jew to lose his faith.

Likewise, as Catholics, we shouldn’t marry “foreign” women. Anyone close to you who is foreign to the Truth will, 99% of the time, lead you nowhere in faith, or lead you away. On the other hand, if one is close with someone who belongs to the One True Church they will only be led closer to God.
 
I see the difference now! Maybe I’m weird but dating for me is more of getting to know someone who might have a prospect of developing a future. Ofc the future is important but people tend to forget the now part of dating IMO.
 
Yes…obviously the Church allows mixed marriage. But it has always been discouraged by the church. And there are issues that go with it. It just always seemed to me the most logical thing to faind a woman who shared the faith.
 
I see where you’re coming from. But I think most people would understand dating as the exclusive relationship with a view to marriage.
 
Melodeonist said:
Likewise, as Catholics, we shouldn’t marry “foreign” women. Anyone close to you who is foreign to the Truth will, 99% of the time, lead you nowhere in faith, or lead you away.
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I don’t want to offend anyone but I have to ask, what do you think about people who do actually get married to a person from a different religion?

I probably am misinterpreting what you said, but it seems to me like you think of different religion marriage would only be done from someone who doesn’t take their faith seriously.
 
Well, if I knew somebody in that situation, I’d pray for them. I would pray that the devout Catholic could bring conversion to the person who belongs to the false faith.
 
Well…IMO, you have no control who you fall in love with, which is why the Church doesn’t ban mixed marriage. Other people have other priorities and requirements when it comes to choosing a spouse. For me, I would have been very much “find a catholic spouse or don’t marry”.

I would advise my kids to follow that advice too.

But it’s up to each indivicual who they marry.
 
It certainly wasn’t that way when I was of dating age.
People went out with lots of people. The difference was, we were friends. We were not thinking of the other person as a sexual object. Today, that seems to be all that is on young peoples minds. Not Mel, of course, but hooking up is the new “dating”. It was not like that in the past. People went out with a number of persons and were not labeled as loose back in the day. It was simply socialization. Which is precisely why I believe young people have such a hard time. They don’t go out for “just coffee” or just a soccer game on a Saturday afternoon". Everything is romantic.
Nope. It’s not, and it doesn’t HAVE to be. It’s getting to know people as they are. No strings, no expectations.
She’s not your girlfriend if she goes to coffee with you, and he’s not your future husband if he buys you dinner.
No wonder some people are so miserable. They think after one failed date, they have missed all their future opportunities.
 
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