Asking a Catholic Girl Out

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Melodeonist said:
Earlier today I was reflecting on why I’m so scared around her, and I just realized why I’m full of dread: I feel if she rejects I’ll never meet another devout Catholic young woman with many similar interests again.
Click to expand...
That is called Catastrophizing. Understand it and call it out so you can put these thoughts under submission now. They are not healthy thoughts.
 
I hope you are joking, because this is a sort of non-Christian thinking that we can “make our dreams come true” and be successful if we just try hard enough.
 
Yes, replying to myself - went to read an article about catastrophizing and lookie here, sleep deprivation plays into it!

www.psychologytoday.com

5 Ways to Stop Catastrophizing

In anxiety-ridden times, it is easy to begin believing the absolute worst-case scenario. Here's how to stay strong and fight it.
www.psychologytoday.com www.psychologytoday.com
 
Melodeonist said:
Earlier today I was reflecting on why I’m so scared around her, and I just realized why I’m full of dread: I feel if she rejects I’ll never meet another devout Catholic young woman with many similar interests again.
Click to expand...
And if you don’t ask her out then what makes you think you’ll ask out the next Catholic girl with similar interests you meet?

Listen mate, just do it. You’ll be kicking yourself if you don’t. Even if she does reject you, at least you won’t be worrying aout it any more. You already know tha she likes you.

Stop worrying about the “perfect moment” to ask her. You’re not proposing marriage. It’s just a casual date. Literally the next time you see her, just say the words: Will you come (insert date activity) with me this (time and place)? Then that’s it.

Even if you get rejected, women appreciate a guy that is prepared to take that risk to actually ask them out.
 
To be clear, don’t make it obvious that if she says no, you’re going to be crushed/are going to go off in a huge snit/make everything awkward at your Newman group.

Make it as easy as possible for the two of you to keep hanging out in the same social group if she says no.
 
I’ll probably see her at today’s Student Government Meeting (I’ll be representing the Newman Club there as Vice President). They always have coffee after the meeting. I don’t know if I should ask her then, or wait for a better time. I really want to ask her out, but I already feel nervous just thinking about it. 😱

It’s like when you’re a kid and you don’t want to get a vaccine at the doctor: the more you fret, the worse it gets. You got to just get it over with, and that way it hurts less.
 
Melodeonist said:
I’ll probably see her at today’s Student Government Meeting (I’ll be representing the Newman Club there as Vice President). They always have coffee after the meeting. I don’t know if I should ask her then, or wait for a better time. I really want to ask her out, but I already feel nervous just thinking about it. 😱

It’s like when you’re a kid and you don’t want to get a vaccine at the doctor: the more you fret, the worse it gets. You got to just get it over with, and that way it hurts less.
Click to expand...
THERE IS NO “BETTER TIME”. You have the chances you’ve got, and that’s it. Frankly, the longer you kick this can down the road, the smaller your chances get. She has her own life, and if she likes you but you never ask, she will assume you don’t like her and move on.

But let’s flip the tables for a sec. Imagine you belong to an extracurricular club- we’ll call it the “Newman Club”- which has regular meetings and events you attend with other people your age. One day a cute girl in the club with whom you are acquainted and have had passing conversations with asks you if you want to go out on a date with her to get coffee. Lets say you just aren’t interested in her that way. Are you going to be pissed that she asked you out? Think she is a weirdo? Think she is desperate and want to avoid her at all costs for the foreseeable future? Or are you more likely to feel flattered that she thinks well of you and/or thinks you are attractive? Even if she says no man, you are at the very least paying her a compliment. And I have yet to meet anyone that hates being flattered.
 
You know, your right. If I had a friend who was Catholic and she asked me out I wouldn’t stop being friends if I wasn’t interested. I’d just stay friends with her.

Aaand I wasn’t able to go to the SGA meeting because another Newman Club member was already there. Darn. 🙁

I should have stayed as a guest at the SGA meeting but I didn’t. I’m still at the college, but if I went back now I’d look like a weirdo.
 
Last edited:
Well the next time you see her just ask her. @FirstFiveEighth is 100% right. The only chances you have are the ones you keep passing up. If she likes you and you don’t ask her then she’ll eventually get fed up. The worst that can happen is that you get rejected. Which is actually not all that bad and just a part of life. Decide which you prefer: Getting rejected or being angry at yourself that you never tried?
 
Last edited:
I technically could have asked her today, but I didn’t think it was a good idea, but I’m sorta kicking myself now.

We had a very small Newman Club meeting today, just me and the advisor. After we closed down I had the sheet that we give the SGA for record or whatever. I went to the SGA office and dropped the sheet off. The Vice President of the SGA was there and he told me to say hi to the President as she was in the room next door (the girl I like is the President.) I did just that, and she seemed glad to see me. I should have asked her out, but she looked busy copying papers or stuff.

I wonder though. Maybe she likes me and that’s why the Vice President told me to say hi to her? 🤔
 
Melodeonist said:
I technically could have asked her today, but I didn’t think it was a good idea, but I’m sorta kicking myself now.

We had a very small Newman Club meeting today, just me and the advisor. After we closed down I had the sheet that we give the SGA for record or whatever. I went to the SGA office and dropped the sheet off. The Vice President of the SGA was there and he told me to say hi to the President as she was in the room next door (the girl I like is the President.) I did just that, and she seemed glad to see me. I should have asked her out, but she looked busy copying papers or stuff.

I wonder though. Maybe she likes me and that’s why the Vice President told me to say hi to her? 🤔
Click to expand...
STOP THIS

Stop it now.

You need to ask or not.

You’re a grown man, not a boy in middle school. If you want to ask, then you need to ask.

People can be glad to see one another without any romantic inclinations. When I was sent across campus to the President’s office as a work study the dean would tell me to say hi to the chairperson in the office beside his for her. There was nothing romantic about me saying hi to the old geyser.

Finals are coming up soon enough. Why don’t you give asking her a break until after finals? It’s causing you way, way too much drama…and it’s all in your own head. This is the kind of thing I expect from my 12yo niece who “likes a boy”.
 
You guys are right. I’m worrying for no real reason. I’m making a promise to myself: I’m asking her out next time I see her, I don’t care where it is or how many people are there, I’m asking her out even if it’s the last thing I do. Worrying gets oneself nowhere.
 
Ask her if she is free after finals for some coffee. You are nervous bec. You are overanalyzing things.
 
fin said:
Ask her if she is free after finals for some coffee. You are nervous bec. You are overanalyzing things.
Click to expand...
That is a fantastic idea.

You guys are very busy right now, and making it be a post-finals thing keeps it being just one more stressful thing that she has to manage. Instead, it can be a fun thing for her to look forward to, if she likes you.

“How can I make this easier on the other person?” is the name of the game.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top