Cardinal Marx: Church should see positive aspects of homosexual relationships [CWN]

  • Thread starter Thread starter CWN_News
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
If we are telling them the Truth of the Church, that is sweetness itself.
There are two different situations to be addressed
One is when persons,we, come seeking for guidance for a specific issue. We have kind of seen our problem ,our need and we ask for help.That is one thing.
The other case is when we do not realize how much help we need and somebody around us does,and helps us by leading us to where we will find some healing.
We address conversion as conversion of the heart,on going,continuous. For all of us.
 
Saying, we accept you as you are and as you define yourself to lure someone in and then only later slipping in some small print about how they have to change or even how they view themselves is incompatible with holiness, is disingenuous. It’s lying and something that should be beneath the Catholic Church.

The problem is that with a spoonful of sugar the medicine goes down only works if there is medicine. Which those who advocate this “soft” approach rarely ever wish to add medicine.
They like being told the placebo tastes good. And it makes them feel good and superior.
What we are doing is loving people to hell.
 
Saying, we accept you as you are and as you define yourself to lure someone in and then only later slipping in some small print about how they have to change or even how they view themselves is incompatible with holiness, is disingenuous. It’s lying and something that should be beneath the Catholic Church.

The problem is that with a spoonful of sugar the medicine goes down only works if there is medicine. Which those who advocate this “soft” approach rarely ever wish to add medicine.
They like being told the placebo tastes good. And it makes them feel good and superior.
What we are doing is loving people to hell.
Maybe you have lived through this journey ,differently and the experience of God is personal.
It is not in our hands .
Maybe you just haven t lost by knock out. I did. As low as I deserved to be knocked down. And it isn t over,it is a struggle. A journey.
Let the Lord be the Lord.
We walk on the ground,low,and grateful.
Do not underestimate the power of God.And of those whom God have entrusted the mission to be our shepherds.
 
I would suggest a good way to do this would be to have a group meeting in the Parish Hall and invite gay people. Tell them you just want to talk to them, advertise it as what you called a “sit down and talk”. See who comes. Then have a priest speak with them, and those willing to give up their lifestyle would be welcomed back into the Church. They would go to confession, give up their gay relationships, be able to receive the Holy Eucharist, attend Church etc

/…/ I would like to hear him say they are welcomed in the Church, but they must give up their lifestyle, as it goes against Church teaching

After your encounters with them, will they give up their lifestyle and live chaste lives? Will they go to confession before receiving the Holy Eucharist? Will they stop having sex with their gay partners? /…/ What do you think?
As others wrote, this is a sort of caricature of “accompanying pastorally” that makes outreach to those on the periphery more challenging frankly
It had the same presumption that our Lord is capable of bringing everyone to sufficient repentance and the embracement of holiness /…/

That the very first key is a decisive break with sin. From there, the progressive path begins
Well then let us go with the analogy between the Vademecum and you and JosieN

First, I’ve had sessions with people who wish “to ask a priest a question/ask a theologian a question.” I enjoy them. They give opportunity to do what Pope Francis and Cardinal Marx ask: encounter people who have very legitimate grievances against Christianity and enter dialogue…and apologise for the terrible errors of the past. It’s a chance to speak with people you often don’t get listening to you from the pulpit

I had “The New Evangelisation” events that invited anyone wanting to come. I’d NEVER have an event to “invite gay people” anymore than I’d have an event to “invite people with black skin” or people of Asian descent. To say I find that utterly revolting is inadequate. I invite “people”…unqualified by some trait they possess. I encounter the person as “person.” I don’t encounter “a gay person”…I simply encounter a person

Using the analogy above with the Vademecum…let’s replace the “invite gay people” with “invite people using artificial contraception”

According to the premise offered, we invite “these people” (!), have the priest explain to them the Church’s teaching, and then say “now, if you’ll realise how wrong you have been – because you’re in error (of course that may not be the conclusion they’re anywhere near) – and change your minds and live this way, which is true because we tell you so from our Faith, and if you go to confession, we’ll welcome you with open arms and you can then receive our Eucharist.” Because “you contracepting people” are living in sin and we want you, instead, to be with us in our Church

Of course, how many people in the parish are themselves practicing artificial contraception? How many of them are engaging in sexual relations outside of marriage or otherwise struggling with the moral issue that we are going to fix in these others?

The reality is, in the external forum, as priest, I don’t see scarlet letters on the foreheads of people sitting at Mass…this one is homosexual and sexually active…this husband and wife are using birth control…this college boy has sex with his girlfriend…this lawyer is having an affair with his secretary…this doctor is embezzling money via his medical practice…this professor is beating his wife…this businessman committed fraud…this college girl just had an abortion

The response of a parish priest is a profoundly personal one in the face of the situation, the person, the need, and the available possibilities. There’s no one pastoral response for “gay people” or “contracepting people” or “abortion guilty people.” First of all: They’re people. Wounded people. I’ve dealt with people who struggle to come to the Lord and walk with Him, reached a moment where they couldn’t walk further and stopped; they knew the door was open and when ready, could came back. Some came back but unable yet to commit…so they didn’t. We walked side by side as priest and parish with them. They were welcomed, wherever they were in their journey, and they knew it

Now, they may not be in a position to receive the sacraments. It was NEVER said that the sacraments were refused…they were – delayed. Their process had to go forward. But they were loved, welcomed and part of the community. Others could receive, by counsel of the Vademecum, for example

So looking at the Vademecum, it is about pastorally accompanying married couples (I am not even speaking of the unmarried people using what is euphemistically called in English “protection”) who struggle with the Church’s teaching on this issue. A struggle that may span their reproductive years. Which is why the Vademecum admonishes confessors, in the four points I cited above, that a) the ultimate resolution lies with the grace of the Lord who is the One to lift from sin; b) prudence and reserve are to be employed by the confessor in his interventions lest he cause the one for whom he is a physician of souls to simply withdraw from the struggle all together; c) to lead, gradually, the penitent in their journey both of self-discovery and the discovery of the full implications of God, grace and the moral life; d) and realisation that growth in holiness is a life long endeavour

The paradigm of the Vademecum I apply to those who are homosexual or in unsolvable marriage situation. A pastoral journey/process of priest & a soul

Those who have the cura animarium become quickly and profoundly aware of just how many souls he cares for live on the margin, and beyond, in terms of their moral life and trying to live the Catholic Faith
 
Why have Church teachings, Church rules, Commandments, The Bible, writings of the saints, etc., if they are ignored and not followed They are all part of the Catholic Church. It make no sense to follow only some of the rules and not all of the rules. They are there because they lead us to salvation.
You seem to reduce everything to “these teachings,” “these rules”…“ignore them,” “follow them.” There are more gradations than that, actually.

It is actually a relationship, you know? “They” do not lead us to salvation. Our life of discipleship is not some sort of transaction. Jesus leads us to salvation. He is our salvation. When that is where it needs to be, the perspective of “Church teachings, Church rules, commandments, the Bible, the writings of the saints, etc.” is in its proper place.

On the other hand, if the relationship is not where it is supposed to be, you are largely dealing with an assembly of teachings, rules, commandments and writings – which is exactly the problem, as it is how some people only view the practice of Religion. Assenting to teachings, following rules…a practice without the relationship that makes it all make sense.
 
My mother- in- law passed away this Saturday and I am kind of attentive to my husband cause I know when he feels better when I am around. I do not need to guess,he asks. And we came to the ranch which used to belong to my mother- in law making a lot of stops We have been together for 30 years,I loved her too
Oh my. I am so sorry to read this. I offer my sympathy. I assure you of my prayers…for the happy repose of the soul of your mother-in-law…and my prayers for your husband, yourself, and all those who are touched by her passing. May God bless you…and may He give you comfort and the consolation of His special presence.
 
You seem to reduce everything to “these teachings,” “these rules”…“ignore them,” “follow them.” There are more gradations than that, actually.

It is actually a relationship, you know? “They” do not lead us to salvation. Our life of discipleship is not some sort of transaction. Jesus leads us to salvation. He is our salvation. When that is where it needs to be, the perspective of “Church teachings, Church rules, commandments, the Bible, the writings of the saints, etc.” is in its proper place.

On the other hand, if the relationship is not where it is supposed to be, you are largely dealing with an assembly of teachings, rules, commandments and writings – which is exactly the problem, as it is how some people only view the practice of Religion. Assenting to teachings, following rules…a practice without the relationship that makes it all make sense.
Thank you for your response. I will give you my thoughts on this matter. I am not as good at writing or wording my sentences as you, but I will do my best.

Without teachings and Church rules to guide us, it is much too easy for us all to go our own way.These teachings, rules, commandments and writings are not the problem in my opinion. It is the lack of commitment to them that takes us on the wrong path and leads us to sin. In the process of following our own way, it won’t matter if we have great relationships with each other because we will lose the most important relationship of all and that is our relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, who suffered on the cross for us. Sin separates us from God and without guidance and rules it is much easier to sin and follow the ways of the world.

The reason I made this suggestion is because someone asked what would be a good way to welcome gays in the Church. Here is my original suggestion in full.
I would suggest a good way to do this would be to have a group meeting in the Parish Hall and invite gay people. Tell them you just want to talk to them, advertise it as what you called a “sit down and talk”. See who comes. Then have a priest speak with them, and those willing to give up their lifestyle would be welcomed back into the Church. They would go to confession, give up their gay relationships, be able to receive the Holy Eucharist, attend Church etc. The whole community could get involved with the welcoming. You could sing songs, pray with them, become friends etc. What do you think?
I believe it would be best this way, as there would be less confusion as to whether their lifestyle has now become acceptable by the Church. With the Pope’s recent comments being interpreted incorrectly, many in the media, and elsewhere are under the impression the Church has changed its views on homosexuality. I would like to hear him say they are welcomed in the Church, but they must give up their lifestyle, as it goes against Church teaching.
After your encounters with them, will they give up their lifestyle and live chaste lives? Will they go to confession before receiving the Holy Eucharist? Will they stop having sex with their gay partners? With God’s help it is possible. If your idea is successful, I hope it becomes acceptable in other parishes so that more conversions will happen. What do you think?
I was being as brief as possible while covering all the important points in the Catholic Religion that I thought should be there. I asked the questions at the end and gave a positive answer, I said that with God’s help all things are possible. I asked what other people thought. I may have made some of my points a bit strong, if could do it over I might change a few words, but as we all know that is not possible now.
 
If I didn’t agree, why would I bother being a Catholic and oblate?

/…/

I didn’t learn this in a vacuum. I learned this from very holy and orthodox monks who daily counsel gays, addicts, people in broken marriages, etc. They are always kind, and they always listen, and they always provide gentle counsel.
You are richly blessed in the Rule as well as in the words and in the example of the monastic chapter, of which you are an oblate.
 
You seem to reduce everything to “these teachings,” “these rules”…“ignore them,” “follow them.” There are more gradations than that, actually.

It is actually a relationship, you know? “They” do not lead us to salvation. Our life of discipleship is not some sort of transaction. Jesus leads us to salvation. He is our salvation. When that is where it needs to be, the perspective of “Church teachings, Church rules, commandments, the Bible, the writings of the saints, etc.” is in its proper place.

On the other hand, if the relationship is not where it is supposed to be, you are largely dealing with an assembly of teachings, rules, commandments and writings – which is exactly the problem, as it is how some people only view the practice of Religion. Assenting to teachings, following rules…a practice without the relationship that makes it all make sense.
This and your previous post reflect much wisdom. It is this way in Judaism as well (or should be). That is, our relationship with G-d and with our fellow man is the key and the teachings and commandments provide us with the means to achieve this, but, in themselves, make little sense without that relationship. Further, holiness is indeed a lifelong endeavor and one can best achieve it in small increments.
 
Josie,

You seem so well intentioned and committed to the Catholic Faith and find the rules for you a good way to follow the Faith Catholic which I truly appreciate. The problem is if you truly condition removing all sin from the life of anyone, including people with same sex attraction, even those living in same sex relationships including intimate relations, no one would be left in the Church. We have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

I’m just wondering what you would tell someone who told you that they were really struggling with a sin and asked you if they could still come to your Church?

Towards a better understanding of your thoughts,

Mary.
 
One might say the same thing about an adulterous relationship, or a cohabitation. Sex is but a small part of it, but there is friendship, love, and mutual support. That doesn’t change the fact that the relationship itself is wrong.
Excellent point. 👍
 
Josie your difficulties are perhaps due to a less than robust understanding of sin-ology.
Material sin requires temporal restitution but does not offend God. Only formal sin does that.
I have not heard this–material sin does not offend God?

When you return, I am hoping that you offer some references for this, please!
 
Oh my. I am so sorry to read this. I offer my sympathy. I assure you of my prayers…for the happy repose of the soul of your mother-in-law…and my prayers for your husband, yourself, and all those who are touched by her passing. May God bless you…and may He give you comfort and the consolation of His special presence.
Thank you very much,Father.
 
Josie,

You seem so well intentioned and committed to the Catholic Faith and find the rules for you a good way to follow the Faith Catholic which I truly appreciate. The problem is if you truly condition removing all sin from the life of anyone, including people with same sex attraction, even those living in same sex relationships including intimate relations, no one would be left in the Church. We have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

I’m just wondering what you would tell someone who told you that they were really struggling with a sin and asked you if they could still come to your Church?

Towards a better understanding of your thoughts,

Mary.
The Church is a place for healing. Continuing on a sinful path will never heal or repair the damage sin does to the soul. Confession, prayer, penance etc. are important ways to make amends for our sins. God knows what is in your heart. If you continue to sin, without making a serious effort to stop sinning, He knows, and the graces will not be there for you when you need them.

So, I would tell them to come to Church, we are all sinners, but they must be serious about giving up their sinful ways. If you are a thief, be committed to prayer, confession, penance etc. Go to Mass, do what it takes to beat the temptation. By taking the person’s hand and saying I understand, this must be difficult for you, the temptation will not go away. Only God can take the desire to steal away from him and they must make the effort. I believe it was St. Augustine who said, “because I am human I am weak, because I am weak, I pray”.

Giving someone tea at your Church may be a first step towards redemption, I did not say to kick them out, but without the proper attitude and desire for healing and forgiveness, nothing will be accomplished. Also truth is important. I feel you may be deceiving a person if you do tell him the truth about his sin. But do it in a gentle way. I feel I have been accused for not having a kind heart. Having a kind heart does not mean you should lie to them, and not tell them about how their sin offends God. Pray, meet in prayer groups, do penance, fast, etc. It is a battle against evil. Who will win depends on the person and how deep the temptation is, but they need to make the effort to stop sinning, and to do this you must acknowledge the sin.

Sin makes the soul weak, making little sacrifices for God and saying daily prayers helps to repair the damage and strengthens it, and decreases the temptation to sin. This was common knowledge in the past. We have left it behind along with many other important practices, I could go on but I will try to keep my reply short and to the point.

Healing the soul is about receiving graces from God. It is accomplished by giving everything to Jesus Christ. Nothing should be left. Your heart belongs to Him now. Because of His merits on the cross, He truly is the one who saves. Every wound on His body was a gift for us, because He knows we are sinners, He paid the price with His love for us, so we can be forgiven. We are all sinners, and sin is part of our lives, but when we have sinned, we must be sorry for ours sins and do our best not to sin again.
 
The Church is a place for healing. Continuing on a sinful path will never heal or repair the damage sin does to the soul. Confession, prayer, penance etc. are important ways to make amends for our sins. God knows what is in your heart. If you continue to sin, without making a serious effort to stop sinning, He knows, and the graces will not be there for you when you need them.

So, I would tell them to come to Church, we are all sinners, but they must be serious about giving up their sinful ways. If you are a thief, be committed to prayer, confession, penance etc. Go to Mass, do what it takes to beat the temptation. By taking the person’s hand and saying I understand, this must be difficult for you, the temptation will not go away. Only God can take the desire to steal away from him and they must make the effort. I believe it was St. Augustine who said, “because I am human I am weak, because I am weak, I pray”.

Giving someone tea at your Church may be a first step towards redemption, I did not say to kick them out, but without the proper attitude and desire for healing and forgiveness, nothing will be accomplished. Also truth is important. I feel you may be deceiving a person if you do tell him the truth about his sin. But do it in a gentle way. I feel I have been accused for not having a kind heart. Having a kind heart does not mean you should lie to them, and not tell them about how their sin offends God. Pray, meet in prayer groups, do penance, fast, etc. It is a battle against evil. Who will win depends on the person and how deep the temptation is, but they need to make the effort to stop sinning, and to do this you must acknowledge the sin.

Sin makes the soul weak, making little sacrifices for God and saying daily prayers helps to repair the damage and strengthens it, and decreases the temptation to sin. This was common knowledge in the past. We have left it behind along with many other important practices, I could go on but I will try to keep my reply short and to the point.

Healing the soul is about receiving graces from God. It is accomplished by giving everything to Jesus Christ. Nothing should be left. Your heart belongs to Him now. Because of His merits on the cross, He truly is the one who saves. Every wound on His body was a gift for us, because He knows we are sinners, He paid the price with His love for us, so we can be forgiven. We are all sinners, and sin is part of our lives, but when we have sinned, we must be sorry for ours sins and do our best not to sin again.
It is amazing how many people take a sentence from the title of an article or from the article itself, and then drive. cornclusions based only on that sentence. Then it will show or cite that sentence to another, together with his conclusions…and then that person will not read the article, but accept the concluysioins he was told…
Many orthodox protestants or even atheists believe that the catholiucs accept homosexual behaviour, and they arrieved at this convigtion this way I said (
 
… I heard that sometimes in the Middle East, shepherds would break a leg or two of a wayward, straying sheep, so while they were healing they couldn’t go far from the shepherd, and so the sheep would associate the smell of the shepherd with safety. Hence, the image of Jesus carrying the lamb on his shoulders, because it couldn’t walk. …
Superior wisdom is needed in interpreting this.

For starters it isn’t about our role in slapping outsiders with a lot of rules as preconditions for treating them as human beings outside the Church.

It’s about God’s mysterious providence towards us ourselves. For example God allowed me to have sufficient accumulation of minor ailments (nothing to write home about) that on the whole I can’t be bothered to go more off the rails than I have done, thereby effectively guarding myself from certain forms of psychic damage beyond a certain point. It depends of course how determined I might be, in the face of thought on the subject.

It’s not only that we are allowed vulnerability and frailty, it’s that He stayed near us as well. In parallel with what I described about my life is that I was again and again exposed to good explanations of Scriptures and people who were able to demonstrate to me their own trust in God and accompany me sometimes in my prayers.
 
Superior wisdom is needed in interpreting this.

For starters it isn’t about our role in slapping outsiders with a lot of rules as preconditions for treating them as human beings outside the Church.

It’s about God’s mysterious providence towards us ourselves. For example God allowed me to have sufficient accumulation of minor ailments (nothing to write home about) that on the whole I can’t be bothered to go more off the rails than I have done, thereby effectively guarding myself from certain forms of psychic damage beyond a certain point. It depends of course how determined I might be, in the face of thought on the subject.

It’s not only that we are allowed vulnerability and frailty, it’s that He stayed near us as well. In parallel with what I described about my life is that I was again and again exposed to good explanations of Scriptures and people who were able to demonstrate to me their own trust in God and accompany me sometimes in my prayers.
Yes, truly.

Thank you for sharing. Again, I’m not sure as to the veracity of the historical point made that shepherds would break the wayward sheep’s legs, but it has given me much food for thought. The humbling process that God sometimes brings us through can certainly feel like broken legs. Even St. Paul talks about spiritual milk, and more solid food. Babies have to learn how to walk. Better to have broken legs than to enter Gehenna whole. Those are musings from my own experience. We must lean on Christ.
 
You are richly blessed in the Rule as well as in the words and in the example of the monastic chapter, of which you are an oblate.
Yes I am. In all fairness to Josie I used to think like her when I came back to the Church, that simply “following the rules” would cure me of my most serious sins.

It wasn’t until my 50s that I fell flat on my face and realized that “following the rules and simply saying “no” to sin” hadn’t changed me one iota. Instead I was using ego to overcome my sin and puff up my image, and it made me a very cantankerous and miserable person to live with. It almost cost me my marriage. Only through patient counsel of my spiritual director and my confessor was I able to finally realize that following the rules did not save us -it leads to frustration, scrupulosity, and ultimately, despair- it was complet trust in the mercy of Christ. I remember the moment of truth very well. I was sitting in small nearly abandoned 11th century chapel on a clammy, wet and cold fall day in October, at a French monastery in Normandy. I just sat there, prayed, and said to Christ, “Here I am Lord, as-is, where-is, the good, the bad and the poison; please take me as I am”. And for the first time I truly felt accepted and embraced by Christ. That it was OK to be me. That I was not defined by my sin but also by my qualities.

Does it mean I wallow in my sin? No. But it means that in spite of the inevitable failures (and believe me there are many), I can trust in Christ’s mercy with the healing help of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It means too that now my wife and I can laugh at each others’ foibles instead of seeing each one as an affront against the other. It broke the cycle of mutual accusation, recrimination and revenge. By being accepted by Christ, we have better learned to accept each other.

We are all at different points in our spiritual development. I can honestly say that this personal epiphany of sorts was perhaps the most liberating experience in my life. I will pray that all, including Josie, can experience it. But it took much pain and many tears to get there, in essence, a very long and painful Dark Night of the Soul that in my case lasted a good 5 years if not more.
 
Yes I am. In all fairness to Josie I used to think like her when I came back to the Church, that simply “following the rules” would cure me of my most serious sins…
I didn’t see where Josie mentioned anything about ‘just following the rules’, rather, I see what she is presenting as a call to break with sin. Not the same thing!

No one expects it not to be a journey, but the first steps involve a recognition of the sin in our lives. To even trust in God’s Mercy hinges on a recognition that what we did was wrong in the first place. You are quite correct that God’s Mercy is what lifts us up out of the mess we fell into and sets us back on the right path. It is not our own doing. But that Mercy is meaningless without the recognition that we fell in the first place.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top