Catholic Dating

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I met my husband at Ave Maria Singles.com. We found the site to be very orthodox. I know they have added many features even since we stopped using the service.

You do pay a premium, however, like Fr. Corapi says, (papaphrase) "If I were called to the married life, I would conduct a search for a wife the likes of which the FBI has never seen because that person will get me to Heaven."

Continue to discern, and in God’s time, may His will be done.

www.avemariasingles.com

God Bless
 
Keep your head up and do not despair… I have found that if you desperately look for someone the task is that much harder… but if you give it to God and Our Blessed Mother, they will provide. Thats what I did… i stopped looking around for someone, and God provided for me!
 
Catholic dating…oh boy…

I think I may have possibly responded to this thread before, but since it seems to be the best place to vent after a ****py pseudo-date, well, here I am.

My girlfriend is driving home right now after an aborted attempt to go find a club where a friend of hers was playing. I’m still trying to figure out the reasons she said “Forget it, drive me home,” but I think it had something to do with my Jeep’s suspension. D.C. has ****py roads, my Jeep has ****py shocks, so it’s a bad combination. It has made more than her tense. Perhaps it’s because I’m an aggressive driver. I don’t know. Right now, I don’t care because on top of these issues, I also tend to think she’s a princess who’s used to getting her way. (Quick background–she IS a princess whose daddy left her a LOT of money. She used it to start her own business that is in the process of becoming fantastically successful. In other words, she’s not used to not getting her way. Perhaps more on that later).

After driving around in the abstraction that is D.C.'s roadways, I handed her a map that I suddenly remembered I had. She let it sit on her lap. I said, “Honey, please, try to get an idea of where we are.” She acted as though I wasn’t there. Finally, after accidentally turning the wrong way down a one-way street, I took the map off her lap and tried to drive and navigate. She says, “Just take me home.” Since I think her friend the musician is whiney and boring, I said, “Believe me, that’s fine with me.” She said, “Let’s go.”

Fine.

Obviously, there are other issues at play here. I’m not even sure what I’m mad about. I think it has something to do with my disgust at my usual tendency to give in and accomodate her moods–lately, at the expense of my principles. I also think tonight’s passive-aggressive b.s. has something to do with her apparent unwillingness to even TRY to understand who I am, or my beliefs, (which, coincidentally, make me who I am).

Forget it. What’s this got to do with anything on a Catholic forum? I don’t know. I think maybe it has something to do with the reality in this town–Catholic girls? Forget it. They’re either easy or judgemental, loveless hypocrites. My girlfriend rocks–literally. She’s a great guitarist, has a great voice, and is ambitious. In other words, she’s the most interesting person I’ve met.

Like I said, I don’t know. I’ll never join a monastery, but on nights like tonight, I want to forget it all. I’m 30, just almost starting to make a mark in the world, and as far as I can tell, there are NO Catholic girls worth seeing… The problem is, I love this girl, even though she’s almost totally wrong for me.

I don’t know.
 
Yea, here in Erie the Catholic females aren’t worth it.

I posted this a few weeks ago, but my Catholic girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago because she’s turned into a drunk and a cheater. And she never used to be like that either. Our relationship was a very Christian relationship, with me usually talking to her about Jesus meant in the Gospels, encouraging her to go to Mass with me, going to Catholic talks about Jesus’ Passion, and Confession.

Why can’t we guys just find Catholic mates who are strong in faith, are kind and charitable (even to strangers), know their faith, love their faith, and be pure?

I don’t think that’s a whole lot to ask for. I meet all these conditions and I’m a guy. I’m going to be a college junior, just like you Powe0186 .

But I guess in this world, that is a whole lot to ask for…😦

I feel hopeless…whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
 
Ah, the morning after…You can always count on your perspective changing the morning after a big fight. That’s when you remember things you may have said or done. It’s usually the time I compose my “I’m sorry for _____ last night” letters. This morning is different, though. I’m not mad any more, but I still don’t know what to apologize for.

But enough of that. It’s probably inappropriate and boring to be posting stuff about my personal life here. So, how about some morning Catholic musings?

In my last post I came down pretty hard on certain Catholic girls. I didn’t mean ALL Catholic girls are like that–just the “easy” ones and the “judgemental, loveless” ones. (And I forgot to mention the “joyless” ones). I’ve met a number of beautiful, talented Catholic or Christian girls in this town. Trouble is, they’re all either married or way out of my league. (Side note: I’m kind of a Montana redneck in a town of Ivy Leaguers. I barely got out of college while most of the girls here were top this or president of the achievment club or some such thing.)

I think Catholic dating is so difficult for several reasons, but it’s all speculation. Mostly, it’s a numbers-game. Say you’ve got a thousand people in your usual sphere. Say 500 of those are girls. Now, let’s say you’re looking for a Catholic girl. Okay, my unscientific analysis here puts that number at about 375. If you’re looking for an ORTHODOX Catholic girl who may know something about her faith, doesn’t believe abortion is her “choice,” believes in objective truth, and can’t discuss birth control with any kind of familiarity, that number drops from 375 to about 5. Now, spread those five girls across the region and you’ve got an idea what Catholic dating is like.

(These figures are purely imaginary, based on anecdotal evidence gathered over a two-year period within the Washington Beltway. They may not reflect the demographics in your area.)
 
I met my very conservative Catholic husband when we were both volunteers at a homeless shelter for pregnant women. He helped start the home. He often picketed and did sidewalk counseling at an abortion clinic, which the pro-lifers managed to shut down. Yes!

I never thought he would become my husband when I met him. I was discerning a vocation to religious life. He was in a serious relationship with a so-so Catholic. When we were co-workers, I was never attracted to him but I grew to respect and be friends with him. So when I came back from the convent, he had just broken up with his girlfriend. At the wedding of another couple who met while working at the shelter, I told him to match me up with someone. So he did. He matched me up with himself.
Which was strange because by that time, I had looked across the pews at him at daily Mass and thought to myself, “He wouldn’t be so bad!” We were 30 when we met and both were 33 when we married. We waited to consumate our love until after we were married, which is rare these days. We’ve been married for 19 years now with three kids, all in Catholic schools. I love his wonderful Catholic family and I have the greatest in-laws ever.

We’re having a huge problem with our 16 year old. I’ve been so glad I have a Godly man to be the father and husband. I couldn’t have made it through the last few days if he had not been reminding me to pray to the Holy Spirit for guidance and telling our daughter to get right with God.

It was worth the wait. He has helped me become a much happier, healthier, holier woman. I thank God for sending him to me.

Keep looking. The right one will come as a gift when the time is right.
Betty G.
 
Wow!
What really stuns me about this forum is that many of the posters are guys seeking orthodox girls. In my experience, it has always been the other way around! I’m going to be a college junior next semester, and what’s more is that I attend a Catholic University, and I’ve had to turn a lot of guys down because they just don’t have the same strong Catholic faith that I do. To give all you men out there a little hope: I do not believe abortion is “my choice,” or any woman’s choice, for that matter. I have absolutely no desire to be a priest. I accept all the teachings of the Church in regards to dating, marriage, and purity (even the seemingly difficult teachings to accept, like submission). I am an orthodox Catholic, I love Jesus more than anything & try at all times to live my faith, and I know how to have fun! - Trust me, there are orthodox Catholic women out there, and we’re searching for some orthodox Catholic men (who aren’t headed for the priesthood!). From the posts on this forum, it sounds like all we need to do is be in the same city (road trip anyone? J/K), or start contacting each other (catholic.com could become the new Ave Maria singles- bet Karl never saw that coming!). All kidding aside, I think the bottom line is that we need to be patient, and also excited and prepared, because we trust that God will act. Let’s have faith and live our single lives as passionately as we can! We can look for suitable partners (and at the same time even be discerning other vocations), and still try not to become frustrated, because we know that God’s plan is perfect, and He has work for us to do right now. Blessed be God!
 
A sample of the profiles, even of the strict Catholic women (abortion and contraception are unequivocally wrong) by the profiles on AveMaria Catholic singles, ther are only a few per thousand who think or behave as Jessica described. Jessica, you are most definitely the exception.

That is not a representative sample, those are the exceptionally good ladies.
 
I used to keep a journal I would write in when I was in college. One day, (I dated it of course) I wrote about the perfect man for me. I kind of made it into a prayer. I got pretty specific, right down to hair color. Humor, Catholic, etc. Well, wouldn’t you believe that I met him years later after I graduated? I had forgotten about the journal entry and fell head over heels, and of course, married him. When I was making a scrapbook of our first five years together (greatest hits, volume 1), I found the entry, and needless to say was quite surprised, as was my husband. I ended up pasting it to the front of our “Love Story,” and that where it stays. To this day, he is my soul mate, and I feel like it was only yesterday when we met.

I don’t think there is a perfect “place” to meet your soul mate. People used to say to me, “well, you know, it happens when you’re not looking.” And I was all like, “yeah, great, when is that? I’m always looking…” But truly, I envisioned it, gave it to God and just forgot about it. Funny, huh?
 
Agh! This thread is depressing me! Just reminds me of my horrible dating situation=none.😦 I’m doing a PhD in genetics and am surrounded by lax catholics and atheists (no offense to the atheists on this board, but just not my bag of Freetos;) ).

Hey JDS2oo6, Powe0186, and montanaman…if any of you gents don’t mind moving to SoCal I’ll marry you! I can cook (sorta, if you count pasta as cooking) and I don’t nag or snore! My only requirements are:
  1. must be taller than me ( I’m 5’ 0")
  2. Clean fingernails
  3. a car (Im a born and bred New Yorker and am a great believer in public transportation. I don’t own a car or have a license and I have no intention of getting one anytime in the future. I’m trying to live a carless life in SoCal…fight the power!!😃 👍 )
  4. Flamin’ Roman Catholic :dancing:
Extra brownie points if you like bugs, LoTR, Star Wars, MST3K, or Patrick O’Brian novels :love:

But seriously…I feel your pain guys:crying:

Peace!:bounce:
 
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kellie:
If any of you want to move to Melbourne, Australia, you can marry me.

I can sort of cook, well I can follow a recipe, I dont nag, and I dont mind what side of the bed I sleep on :rotfl:

Seriously, I find it difficult too, to meet single guys, who are as dedicated to their Faith as I am.

The only single guys at my parish, are too young, too old, or priests 🙂

Oh well, I will keep asking Mary to guide me to the right one.
She is my Mother, and mothers always know best

Love Kellie
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Code: 
 It is difficult to find someone kelly.  The most amazing thing is that I have met women who tell me that they are in a discernment process of seeing if Marriage or religious life is for them, but that they are open to dating, to see if that's what god wants: marriage.  However, I have found that when I as a guy have wanted to establish a sort of friendship with them, which can lead to dating (I don't make it obvious) then they really don't seem to want any commitment, nor deep friendship.  I seem to fit the profile many of them are looking for (the decent ones) I am fairly good looking, smart(a University degree), well mannered, caring, sensitive, romantic(in a modest-non-sinful way), but all never seems to work out, and honestly, I have thought about religious life in the past, but with each passing day, I picture myself married.  I really am tired of not finding that special God fearing someone.  I get angry sometimes.
Anyway, I like what you posted here, that’s sweet.
 
peace be with you! as a young man (20, soon to be 21) who feels called to the religious life, i have really enjoyed reading this thread. jessica, your post was awesome and really inspiring to me. i have noticed in my own life that whenever i am constantly thinking about “what am i gonna do with my life” or “what will i become” i get nowhere. on the other hand, when i trust that God will show me everything i need to know when He wants to and i spend each day just trying to love Him and trust Him instead of just trying to get answers to my vocation questions i grow much faster spiritually. my advice to those who are searching for spouses would be that of what others have already said…pray. pray daily for your future spouse that God will form them into something beautiful for God. ask Our Lady and St. Joseph to help them. also, learn to accept and love being single. you should accept this time of being single as a time to be more free to serve the Lord and the Church. if you can accept this time being single as God’s will for you, chances are you will be able to be even happier when you meet the person God intends for you. it is all about trusting in the Lord. let Him do it!!! don’t worry. “let not your hearts be troubled”. hope that helps.
 
This thread is turning into a listing of personal ads! 🙂

Which means, of course, that I feel compelled to encourage the single ladies here to read my profile, muhaha. 😃
 
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Jessica:
Wow!
What really stuns me about this forum is that many of the posters are guys seeking orthodox girls. In my experience, it has always been the other way around! I’m going to be a college junior next semester, and what’s more is that I attend a Catholic University, and I’ve had to turn a lot of guys down because they just don’t have the same strong Catholic faith that I do. To give all you men out there a little hope: I do not believe abortion is “my choice,” or any woman’s choice, for that matter. I have absolutely no desire to be a priest. I accept all the teachings of the Church in regards to dating, marriage, and purity (even the seemingly difficult teachings to accept, like submission). I am an orthodox Catholic, I love Jesus more than anything & try at all times to live my faith, and I know how to have fun! - Trust me, there are orthodox Catholic women out there, and we’re searching for some orthodox Catholic men (who aren’t headed for the priesthood!). From the posts on this forum, it sounds like all we need to do is be in the same city (road trip anyone? J/K), or start contacting each other (catholic.com could become the new Ave Maria singles- bet Karl never saw that coming!). All kidding aside, I think the bottom line is that we need to be patient, and also excited and prepared, because we trust that God will act. Let’s have faith and live our single lives as passionately as we can! We can look for suitable partners (and at the same time even be discerning other vocations), and still try not to become frustrated, because we know that God’s plan is perfect, and He has work for us to do right now. Blessed be God!
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Jessica, I agree: we should all get a road map. LOL
No seriously, It does get frustaring sometimes, and at other times one does feel lonely. I know, as Christains we should not feel lonely, but I cannot help it, I do at times. I just wish I had a loving and decent God fearing companion.
I wrote a thread similar to this called: “FINDING THE RIGHT COMPANION”, in the family Forum.
Anyway, I like what you wrote here.
 
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Jadesfire20:
Ah, and you have no qualms with exploiting it, eh?😃 :cool: :rolleyes:
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Hehe of course not! :o

This thread reminds me of a stand-up comic I saw once. He was lamenting the fact that he was in his 30s and still not married. He said something like, “I think often about my future wife…and how disappointed I am in her that she hasn’t bothered to contact me yet.”

This is how I feel sometimes too! :rolleyes:
 
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ktm:
Hehe of course not! :o

This thread reminds me of a stand-up comic I saw once. He was lamenting the fact that he was in his 30s and still not married. He said something like, “I think often about my future wife…and how disappointed I am in her that she hasn’t bothered to contact me yet.”

This is how I feel sometimes too! :rolleyes:
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:amen: to that
 
Try a Theology on Tap lecture series devoted to 20-30’s somethings. Or join a Young Adult ministry program or volunteer at a Catholic institution, most importantly pray on it.
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ktm
Hehe of course not!
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This thread reminds me of a stand-up comic I saw once. He was lamenting the fact that he was in his 30s and still not married. He said something like, “I think often about my future wife…and how disappointed I am in her that she hasn’t bothered to contact me yet.”
Click to expand...
This is how I feel sometimes too!

Jadesfire20 said:
:amen: to that
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I think often about my future wife (that I have yet to meet)…and how disappointed I am that she is probably currently a pagan 🙂
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