Anyone who has been around a bad marriage would understand that while the adulterer is culpable, there are not a majority of adulterers who left a loving, kind supportive spouse.
Cargopilot has not said that the adulterer is not responisble for their choice. He is simply pointing out that the other spouse has a hand in what goes on in the marriage too.
There are spouses who commit adultery who couldn’t make a good marriage if their life depended on it (not to mention their salvation); and there are those who turned to someone else not because their spouse yelled at them once, or twice, or a dozen times, but because their spouse demeaned and denigrated them over a period of years, and in weakness they responded to a perceived valuation of their person by someone who was actually kind, who treated them as something other than a scum-bag.
In no case is adultery an answer. But to those who are so quick to condemn the adulterer, perhaps some introspection and an even-handedness evaluation of the conditions of the marriage might be in order. All too often, it is not the act of adultery which breaks the marriage; the break occured long before because of the manner that the (later) adultering spouse was treated for a long period of time before the act of adultery.
