Contraception

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1ke:
Are you implying that those in countries other than our supposedly civilized society-- the same society that kills over 1.3 million babies a year in the name of “choice”-- are somehow inferior and less rational? That they are not capable of fidelity and chastity? That is what this statement says to me.

Please note that the only country in Africa to make progress in the eradication of AIDS is Uganda-- where they have implemented an **Abstinence Only **education campaign that teaches chastity before marriage and fidelity in marriage. They are light years ahead of their fellow condom-using “safe sex” countries in Africa.
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I didn’t mean it that way, I apologize. English isn’t my mother tongue you see 😦
 
I went to the confessional and told the priest that my wife and I use birth control because we are not financially stable enough to afford children (education, etc.) He told me not to worry about it.

During a lecture at a retreat, another priest minimized the sinfulness of masturbation.
I know the official teachings on both issues, but sometimes I’m confused about the variance among the clergy and the guidance they offer on these topics?
 
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mft1234:
I went to the confessional and told the priest that my wife and I use birth control because we are not financially stable enough to afford children (education, etc.) He told me not to worry about it.

During a lecture at a retreat, another priest minimized the sinfulness of masturbation.
I know the official teachings on both issues, but sometimes I’m confused about the variance among the clergy and the guidance they offer on these topics?
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Find a different confessor!

Priests sin too–they will be held to account when they are judged by God. Pray for them. You may be culpable for your sin of contraception–but those priests have contributed to countless sins by not leading their flock properly and therefore are accountable for many sins by their influence. Again, pray for them and all priests!

On a side note…why are you equivocating in the confessional? (rhetorical question) Especially if you are aware of the teachings and why BC is sin–do you believe it is less a sin because of your economic situation?
 
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st_felicity:
On a side note…why are you equivocating in the confessional? (rhetorical question) Especially if you are aware of the teachings and why BC is sin–do you believe it is less a sin because of your economic situation?
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I’m sorry…When I re-read that, it didn’t sound so charitable–I didn’t mean it that way…I mean, that it would be good to consider what the root reason for our sin is and we can only find that within ourselves…
 
I am 25 and have recently been married to my beautiful wife. Thing is, neither of us wish for children yet.
We are both very career driven, our lives are good at the moment and are currently planning to take time out to go travelling around Asia. We are enjoying our youth, going out, enjoying ourselves basically while we still can. A child is a blessing but it changes your life quite dramatically and neither of us feel mature enough to handle those responsibilities yet.
If you would like to torpedo your marriage before it begins, I suggest premarital sex and contraception.
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I know my parents used contraceptives from when the first began going out and had sex before marriage, 31 years on they are still going strong and are still very much in love. I therefore feel your theory, puzzle annie, that contraceptives cause marriage breakdown to be somewhat flawed.

The theory that contraceptives are not natural seem like a very weak argument to me, medicine is not natural, life support machines are not natural, processed food is not natural.
 
I am 25 and have recently been married to my beautiful wife. Thing is, neither of us wish for children yet.
We are both very career driven, our lives are good at the moment and are currently planning to take time out to go travelling around Asia. We are enjoying our youth, going out, enjoying ourselves basically while we still can. A child is a blessing but it changes your life quite dramatically and neither of us feel mature enough to handle those responsibilities yet.
If you would like to torpedo your marriage before it begins, I suggest premarital sex and contraception.
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I know my parents used contraceptives from when the first began going out and had sex before marriage, 31 years on they are still going strong and are still very much in love. I therefore feel your theory, puzzle annie, that contraceptives cause marriage breakdown to be somewhat flawed.

The theory that contraceptives are not natural seem like a very weak argument to me, medicine is not natural, life support machines are not natural, processed food is not natural.

Also could somebody give me a direct quote from the Bible that specifically relates to contraception being wrong.
 
The theory that contraceptives are not natural seem like a very weak argument to me, medicine is not natural, life support machines are not natural, processed food is not natural.
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But contraceptives prevent a good while those other things promote a good. Food nourishes you, medine heals you. Contraceptives impede life. With NFP, we are always open to new life and we respect God’s gift of fertility. With contraception, you slam the door on life and arrogantly put your own desires above God’s plan. Plus, the pill can cause abortions when an egg gets fertilized, but doesn’t attach. As for barriers like condoms, how can you become one flesh when there’s a barrier between you two? You should never hold anything back from your spouse when it comes to “the conjugal embrace”, and this includes the total self giving and self sacrifice that can come only with the commitment of marriage.

Read JPII’s Theology of the Body or any of Christopher West’s books on this subject. You’ll never want to do it any other way but the right way.
 
Also could somebody give me a direct quote from the Bible that specifically relates to contraception being wrong.
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Gen. 38:9–10, Deut. 23:1

Tradition also tells us this more importantly. Remember, “the Pill” did not exist until recently so it won’t be mentioned specifically in the Bible. All the early Church Fathers condemned contraception .

catholic.com/library/Contraception_and_Sterilization.asp

Likewise, ALL Christian denominations condemned contraception until the 1930s.

It always has and always will be wrong. The Protestants have a tendency to change their beliefs when a teaching becomes inconvenient. The Catholic Church has never changed on this subject and never will.

I suggest you learn about NFP. It’s much healthier and actually strengthens a relationship instead of making a woman a slave to the pill. Studies have shown women who take the pill are three times as likely to get breast cancer.

pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7&entryid=41
 
One last thing, birth control and contraception have become synonymous but it’s ok to plan when you want to have kids and to try and space them out. You just can’t use contraception to do it–meaning you can’t prevent contraception when it would normally take place. That’s why having sex during a natural infertile period is not contraception and why abstaining during a fertile period is not contraception–both are ok. As soon as you start messing with barriers, chemicals, and the pill, you’re preventing contraception when it should occur and you’re abusing God’s gift for selfish reasons. That’s why the Church condemns it.
 
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someguy:
I am 25 and have recently been married to my beautiful wife. Thing is, neither of us wish for children yet.
We are both very career driven, our lives are good at the moment and are currently planning to take time out to go travelling around Asia. We are enjoying our youth, going out, enjoying ourselves basically while we still can. A child is a blessing but it changes your life quite dramatically and neither of us feel mature enough to handle those responsibilities yet.
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The devil is subtle. The creeping curse that contraception brings to a mariage is a disconnect between partners. The marrital embrace no longer is two complete persons becoming ONE–it becomes only an act that the TWO do together. Nothing is a stake–there is no VALUE in the act–it’s an activity. The man becomes self-indulgent to the point of sex with his wife is masterbatory, and the woman who opens herself feels that rejection. She becomes an object used for his gratification and this breeds contempt. Sometime (often) this occurs and the woman does not know why she is disatisfied–problems will arise elsewhere in the marriage as she struggles to understand why she feels this vague longing for more intimacy in her marriage. How many women wish their husbands were more “romantic”? The devil is the Prince of Lies–We lie to ourselves and we lie to eachother when we claim contraception is “good” or at least that it does no harm. Married sex is a gift where we give ourselves to our partner–who wants a gift that says “here I am, but you can’t have all of me”?

We were made to be like God and God is giving, God is love, and God is a creator. Now, this doesn’t mean every act MUST result in life, but it does mean to be like God we must be oriented toward life. It is good to recognize your limitations. If your circumstances are such that it wouldn’t be a good time for children,–fine! Abstain during fertile periods of the month. But you should be certain it is for the correct reasons–because to be like God, we also need to be giving. If we decide we don’t want children because it would “cramp our style” or because children take too much time and energy…that’s a bit selfish isn’t it? For me, I know maturity hit me square up-side the head when that little stick turned blue! It was a kick that I needed and I thank God not only for the blessing, but also for the correction that is my eldest son.

ALSO,
I know my parents used contraceptives from when the first began going out and had sex before marriage, 31 years on they are still going strong and are still very much in love. I therefore feel your theory, puzzle annie, that contraceptives cause marriage breakdown to be somewhat flawed.
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So if I find ONE example were contraception CLEARLY caused marrital discord–you’ll believe I am right? As I said earlier, the loss that comes with contraception can be displaced and cause problems elsewhere. I’m sure Mom’s not going to share all the sordid details of different problems they have faced, but I would bet in the secret places of their hearts–there is a disconnect. Maybe they can’t define it, but it is not how God intended marriage to be. What would their love be like if they gave ALL of themselves to eachother their WHOLE LIVES!? They would be living the nearest thing to Heaven on earth!
 
We use NFP and I thank God every day that we have always lived our marriage in compliance with Church teaching on this issue. I never got the “7year itch”, I have never felt unfulfilled in my marriage, as a matter of fact, it just keeps getting better. It is totally amazing to me. When I was single and off course and still buying the world’s views on contraception, I never could have imagined this! I feel like nothing could ever destroy our marriage, because it belongs to God, not to the world.
That being said, I wonder what ever happened to teaching people that marriage is a Sacrament. That fact seems to be grossly overlooked these days. I haven’t heard of people using Holy Communion just to “have fun”. How about trying to receive Communion without receiving Christ? That would be ridiculous right? Shouldn’t it also seem ridiculous to use marriage as a means to “have fun” ? Why should Catholics want to have a marriage without accepting God into it, or trying to block his participation with birth control? In my opinion, if you are too immature and selfish to accept God’s gift of children within marriage, you are too immature and selfish for marriage, period.
 
I was terrified of getting pregnant again after my 3rd…I had such horrible depression and fatigue. Every well meaning person, even my very religious mom, said it was ok for my “non-catholic” hubby to have a vasectomy.

It killed our marriage emotionally. We’re still together, but hanging by a thread.

Whether you’re Catholic or not, stay away from violating the natural laws!
 
SueG — my prayers and sympathy go out to you. However, if you and your husband now realize the sin in sterilization, would not speaking to a priest in confession help get your marraige back on track?

I’m sure couples in your situation who have undergone sterilization and then later learn of their sin and confess it, are in a more “life giving” state of mind than before. Certainly, they may not be able to undo the sterilization, but their hearts are changed and they now see things from God’s point of view. If I’m wrong here, someone please correct me.
 
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Curious:
I do not understand why oral contraceptives are considered a sin in the Catholic Church. Here are the reasons that I’ve seen thus far.

that is messes up the natural result of sex within marriage. That
sex is not only an expression of love, but how we procreate. God created us to be fruitful and multiply. Artificially preventing that multiplication, even for a short time, is therefore a sin.
Am I correct on this?

But my question is this: The same hormones that prevent conception are used in post-menopausal women. As they experience decline in estrogen, hot flashes, bone loss and so forth can result. This is natural. It is a natural decline in estrogen. God made it that way. Therefore, it is a sin to replace the hormone that God wants to wane away. Because you are going against God’s will.

I’m honestly not being facetious here. And I know that many will jump and scream, “YEAH BUT PREVENTING LIFE IS MUCH MORE BIG OF A DEAL THAN JUST MANAGING HOT FLASHES!!!” Okay…I’ll give you that. But if part of your argument is that it prevents something natural, than you could use that argument for zillions of different things.
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Oral contraceptives are like a pill for abortion. They are meant to do two things, prevent a fertilized egg from embedding itself onto the uterine wall, and they also are supposed to prevent sperm from fertilizing the egg. If the last does not happen, the first is not supposed to.

With regards to hormone replacement in menapausal women or women that are having hormonal problems with their menstrual cycle. My understanding is that the church allows you to take the pill in that case to regulate your hormones. I don’t believe that the dosage is the same.
 
Straight up… I don’t agree with contraception, period.

However…here’s my issue… My husband has his family telling him that we don’t need any more children (we’re pregnant with our third and it’s another girl (3 of them now) His mother has told him to get a vasectomy (like she has a right to have an opinion) and I’ve been told to get onto the pill.

My problem is that he won’t talk to me about any of this but will talk to them. I’ve shown him what I need from him with NFP, I’ve shown him what’s really involved. How do I charitably get a discussion started with him to lead him to a talk with me and about us, and not have his family involved?

His family is very anti-Catholic and he doesn’t agree with the Church on many issues. I’m afraid this is causing a rift in our marriage. I refuse to use contraception however he’s now shown that if I don’t agree to it, he’ll just withhold sex. Aside from our one night in which we got pregnant this time around, I can’t say we have any sparks left in our marriage bed at all. Maybe someone can offer some advice on how to get a discussion started, but I’d also like this to be a testimony to how just even the issue of birth control can cause problems, especially when one partner knows the real truth of birth control and can’t consciously, morally, agree to use it even knowing I’m supposed to follow my husband’s lead. (I know, some of you are also going “and you’re inlaws are too involved!”) Help??
 
[school-is-evil.blogspot.com/2005/02/contraception-or-abortifactent.html](http://school-is-evil.blogspot.com/2005/02/contraception-or-abortifactent.html)

Some of this might even shock you, but it is all true. We would not think of it as contraception if we knew what it really does.
(A sidenote after you read the article: Even Webster’s dictionary doesn’t tell us what conception really is. It gives us the runaround, to concieve is to become pregnant, and pregnant is having concieved a child in the uterus.)
 
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Genesis315:
Gen. 38:9–10, Deut. 23:1
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According to Deuteronomy 23, even a child raised by a single mother cannot come to the Lord.

Genesis 38 is about God giving Onan a SPECIFIC task which Onan failed to complete.

I respect the Catholic viewpoint on contraception, but I don’t see how these two specific verses back it up.
 
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mft1234:
I went to the confessional and told the priest that my wife and I use birth control because we are not financially stable enough to afford children (education, etc.) He told me not to worry about it.

During a lecture at a retreat, another priest minimized the sinfulness of masturbation.
I know the official teachings on both issues, but sometimes I’m confused about the variance among the clergy and the guidance they offer on these topics?
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These different priests were kind enough to offer by example how pervasive sin and dissent is in the Church. I find it interesting that the priest telling you to “not worry about it” did not, in fact, take the worry away. All it did was relieve him of the responsiblity of leading you to a deeper understanding of the Church’s teaching in this area, and by extension, into a deeper understanding of the mystery and power of human sexuality. The same can be said of the priest that minimizes the sinfullness of masterbation. Both these examples place a priest in the position of having to actually know the Church’s teachings about human sexuality, and be prepared to act in a pastoral manner to those in the flock that approach them.

Pray for these men, for the sword of justice lingers heavy upon these men to whom much has been trusted…

As for the fact of the “variance” - I think it is part and parcel of the influence exerted upon us, at a very young age, of the contraceptive mentality that is the heart of our culture. Contraception is the Load Bearing wall upon which this entire “culture of death” has built its understanding of human sexuality. To remove that wall requires heavy lifting in a great number of emotional and spiritual areas…thus the intransigence…
 
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Pug:
Abstinence is highly under-rated.
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Yeah, but only by those who don’t practice it :yup: . I always find that if I want something bad enough, I’m not going to be satisfied until I get EXACTLY that. I don’t want any substitutes, and I don’t want to get it “piece by piece.” I can’t see what is so great about getting part way there in any respect (especially this one).

Eamon 👍
 
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