Contraception

[turboEDvo]

GaryScott:

Do you take medicine? How do you know that your illness is not God’s will, and that by taking medication, you’re thwarting God’s will?

Huge difference! Contraception is going against life. God gives life, He doesn’t take it. Medicine is intended to sustain the life which God has granted us, not cut it short, or prevent it entirely. As well, the effects of medicine stop at the person using it (in that if I take an Advil, my mother won’t feel any effects from it, except that I am in a better mood w/o the headache it just helped). Contraception not only hurts the person using, but also that person’s partner, as well as the child they might have had if they didn’t use it. My using Advil cannot cause moral problems for anybody else, contraception can.

Eamon

 

[K777angel]

puzzleannie:

after 36 years of marriage, having practiced various forms of ABC during that time, I can attest, as can every honest member of my generation (the fem-lib, boomer, sex revolution pioneers) that contraception is the hugest lie and deception ever foisted on the human race by the Deceiver and his minions. It is a sure prescription for family destruction, fractured marriages, and a simmering rage in menopausal women who know they have been used as sex objects for most of their adult lives. It destroys marital intimacy, and is the source of profound loneliness and isolation being experienced by many of those in my generation, including those of us who are still married. It is responsible for the high divorce rate, for the death-promoting ideology behind legalized abortion, and the cultural attitude that regards children as burdens rather than gifts. If you would like to torpedo your marriage before it begins, I suggest premarital sex and contraception.

Wow - so very well said!
I wish we would have known back then (25 yrs ago) what we know now - “Theology of the Body” etc.
What a difference it would have made. It is so true that God’s ways truly DO make us happier!!
By the way - there was nowhere for me to vote on the poll.
No category for - “Unfortunately practiced contraception and sterilization - and now totally regret it and embrace church’s teaching”

 

[felra]

tamccrackine:

Straight up… I don’t agree with contraception, period.

However…here’s my issue… My husband has his family telling him that we don’t need any more children (we’re pregnant with our third and it’s another girl (3 of them now) His mother has told him to get a vasectomy (like she has a right to have an opinion) and I’ve been told to get onto the pill.

My problem is that he won’t talk to me about any of this but will talk to them. I’ve shown him what I need from him with NFP, I’ve shown him what’s really involved. How do I charitably get a discussion started with him to lead him to a talk with me and about us, and not have his family involved?

His family is very anti-Catholic and he doesn’t agree with the Church on many issues. I’m afraid this is causing a rift in our marriage. I refuse to use contraception however he’s now shown that if I don’t agree to it, he’ll just withhold sex. Aside from our one night in which we got pregnant this time around, I can’t say we have any sparks left in our marriage bed at all. Maybe someone can offer some advice on how to get a discussion started, but I’d also like this to be a testimony to how just even the issue of birth control can cause problems, especially when one partner knows the real truth of birth control and can’t consciously, morally, agree to use it even knowing I’m supposed to follow my husband’s lead. (I know, some of you are also going “and you’re inlaws are too involved!”) Help??

This is pretty much my dilemma and struggle in my marriage following the birth of our 3rd child due to severe medical risks for my DW associated with another pregnancy. My DW has been told by an array of priests, her ostensibly Catholic OB GYN, “all” her good Catholic family and friends consulted agree that “all is not black and white” as I have attempted to present authentic Church teaching regarding contraception.

I have prayer and fasted for the Holy Spirit to enlighten her understanding. We have met with an orthodox priest who disputed the “opinions” of other clergy in this matter. Thus far to no avail. She refuses to read any authoritative Church documents I have compiled. Even as late as this past weekend my DW stated “your opinion is whacked” when discussing why it is illicit to consider contraception in our situation. This issue has dragged on for over 1 year. My patience wears awfully thin at times. She has stated that she will abide by my decision because I am head of household which for me is simply an inadequate response. I am making her to take responsibility to show me and “make the case” for her decisive opinion, which so far she has refused to do. This has been a real damper on our marriage.

So yeah, any suggestions to constructively, charitably broach this topic I would likewise welcome.

 

[AmberDale]

Okay here is my question. Since this thread is already here I might as well use it.
I will become officially become baptized this Easter. My husband is a cradle Catholic. We have two children. We are very open to having children. My problem is my health. My husband and I have discussed this and have agreed that we should use contraception for the time being. My health is at risk and we want me to be around to raise the beautiful children we already have. With the new round of meds that I’m on it would hurt the new baby drastically if I were to become pregnant while on this medication. My doctor’s are trying to help my kidneys get better. With prayer I know things can get better. I am very willing to have more children if my health does get better. If it doesn’t, and it is determined I could die if we have more then I will adopt. I’m on DepoPovera because I have to use progeterin only birth control.
Am I being unfaithful by using birth control? The meds I’m on could seriously harm a new baby. I’ve been told things aren’t black and white, so are we going to be okay with using this decision?

 

[st_felicity]

AmberDale:

Am I being unfaithful by using birth control?

The short answer is “yes”.

because…

The meds I’m on could seriously harm a new baby.

You have another option–either practice VERY strict NFP or abstain.

I’ve been told things aren’t black and white, so are we going to be okay with using this decision?

The only reason things aren’t so black and white is because people keep looking for gray–it IS black and white.

The only gray area is “invincible ignorance” and since you’ve read this, that’s out.

From the Catechism
CCC 2366: “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.”

That is cited from Humanae Vitae–an infallible Pontifical document.

The good news is that NFP really does work, especially when practiced in it’s most strict form. I am sorry your health is poor, but offer it to the Lord and join in his redemptive sacrifice.
Peace.

 

[felra]

AmberDale:

I’ve been told things aren’t black and white, so are we going to be okay with using this decision?

Have whoever is telling you that things aren’t black and white cite the authoritative Church teachings/documents/statements to substantiate this. Otherwise, it is someone stating an opinion and nothing more. I have yet to find or have presented to me authoritative Church documentation that conrtaception is okay given grave medical reasons to avoid further pregnancy.

 

[AmberDale]

one reason the doctor’s have me on Depo (aside not having babie) is to keep me from bleeding. I have severe anemia (due to my kidneys not produing the hormone needed for my bones to produce red blood cells) when I do bleed I bleed for 2-3 weeks, which makes my blood count drop drastically. We are working on this (on Procrit shots and double iron pills). It has been very hard for me to let go and let God in these recent days. I feel it’s a spiritual battle because I am taking a huge step in faith with my baptism, the funny part is everything was going good until I took the first step of inquiry. I was pregnant, no biggie because my first pregnancy went okay. Then I started RCIA, and had the baby in October. What happens when I get so close to be able to share in the eucharist and baptism? Oh it looks like your kidneys are not doing so well, we need to try a more aggressive treatment. I know when I am able to receive Jesus, things can and probably will start to look better on my lab tests. I just can’t handle a lot of things right now and everything (aside from health there are other issues) seems to be piling on my plate. I have never used contraception before, the first time was in November. And now I want to do what is right, but wouldn’t it be even more wrong to put myself at risk and not be able to raise my children? I don’t know, please pray for me. I don’t want to go against what the Church teaches.

 

[cove]

AmberDale:

one reason the doctor’s have me on Depo (aside not having babie) is to keep me from bleeding. I have severe anemia (due to my kidneys not produing the hormone needed for my bones to produce red blood cells) when I do bleed I bleed for 2-3 weeks, which makes my blood count drop drastically. We are working on this (on Procrit shots and double iron pills). It has been very hard for me to let go and let God in these recent days. I feel it’s a spiritual battle because I am taking a huge step in faith with my baptism, the funny part is everything was going good until I took the first step of inquiry. I was pregnant, no biggie because my first pregnancy went okay. Then I started RCIA, and had the baby in October. What happens when I get so close to be able to share in the eucharist and baptism? Oh it looks like your kidneys are not doing so well, we need to try a more aggressive treatment. I know when I am able to receive Jesus, things can and probably will start to look better on my lab tests. I just can’t handle a lot of things right now and everything (aside from health there are other issues) seems to be piling on my plate. I have never used contraception before, the first time was in November. And now I want to do what is right, but wouldn’t it be even more wrong to put myself at risk and not be able to raise my children? I don’t know, please pray for me. I don’t want to go against what the Church teaches.

I hope this helps–

(Q): What if my doctor put me on birth control pills for medical reasons?
(A): Pope Paul VI stated that “the Church, on the contrary, does not at all consider illicit the use of those therapeutic means truly necessary to cure diseases of the organism, even if an impediment to procreation, which may be foreseen, should result therefrom, provided such impediment is not, for whatever motive, directly willed Humanae Vitae #15.”

Amber, you are in my prayers

 

[km112482]

I used to think nothing was wrong with condoms or contraception up until this month I was on the pill. I am a cradle catholic, but i didnt really practice my faith for awhile now, but I have been going through a wonderful conversion and it is like everything I tried to justify before to help me with my guilt is something I could never think of doing now.

NFP for me from now on!!!

GOD BLESS,
Kerri

 

[AmberDale]

cove:

I hope this helps–

**(Q): What if my doctor put me on birth control pills for medical reasons? **
(A): Pope Paul VI stated that “the Church, on the contrary, does not at all consider illicit the use of those therapeutic means truly necessary to cure diseases of the organism, even if an impediment to procreation, which may be foreseen, should result therefrom, provided such impediment is not, for whatever motive, directly willed Humanae Vitae #15.”

Amber, you are in my prayers

I didn’t understand this. So if it’s for a medical reason does the church condemn this or not?

 

[1ke]

AmberDale:

I didn’t understand this. So if it’s for a medical reason does the church condemn this or not?

Medical treatment that has primary purpose of treating a disease or condition and the secondary effect of making you sterile is NOT contraception, it’s a medical treatment. The Church does not have a problem with someone seeking a legitimate medical treatment.

Therefore, if you are prescribed hormones (ie, the Pill) for some reason OTHER than pregnancy prevention (like endometriosis, etc) then it is a medical treatment, not a contraceptive.

That said, something that has as many side effects and can cause abortions should not be taken for conditions that are not sufficiently grave and without first trying to find another treatment that does not have these same problems.

 

[1ke]

AmberDale:

Okay here is my question. Since this thread is already here I might as well use it.
I will become officially become baptized this Easter. My husband is a cradle Catholic. We have two children. We are very open to having children. My problem is my health. My husband and I have discussed this and have agreed that we should use contraception for the time being. My health is at risk and we want me to be around to raise the beautiful children we already have. With the new round of meds that I’m on it would hurt the new baby drastically if I were to become pregnant while on this medication. My doctor’s are trying to help my kidneys get better. With prayer I know things can get better. I am very willing to have more children if my health does get better. If it doesn’t, and it is determined I could die if we have more then I will adopt. I’m on DepoPovera because I have to use progeterin only birth control.
Am I being unfaithful by using birth control? The meds I’m on could seriously harm a new baby. I’ve been told things aren’t black and white, so are we going to be okay with using this decision?

If the reason you are on Depo is to prevent conception, and your health condition is being treated by some other medication, then you are using contraception which is gravely wrong.

If the Depo is somehow part of the treatment of your health condition then it is a medicine that only as a side effect renders you sterile.

If you need to postpone pregnancy due to your health conditions needing treatment, Natural Family Planning should be used.

 

[st_felicity]

1ke:

If the reason you are on Depo is to prevent conception, and your health condition is being treated by some other medication, then you are using contraception which is gravely wrong.

If the Depo is somehow part of the treatment of your health condition then it is a medicine that only as a side effect renders you sterile.

If you need to postpone pregnancy due to your health conditions needing treatment, Natural Family Planning should be used.

NFP should be used REGARDLESS! There is a possibility that an egg will be released, fertilized, and aborted.

I’m trying to imagine a acenario where Depo is the primary med for anything but contraception…Granted, a pregnancy would harm your health, but there are options other than contraception…

Your immortal soul is more important than THIS life–and NOT having sex WON’T kill anyone.

You are in my prayers…(and your husband too! I know it’s difficult for them also…)

 

[Tyler_Smedley]

Man your poll is messed up…I am not married but refuse to use contraception, where is my option?

 

[demolitionman65]

Umm so, Tyler, are you saying that you engage in pre-marital sex, without contraception?

 

[rayne89]

AmberDale:

Okay here is my question. Since this thread is already here I might as well use it.
I will become officially become baptized this Easter. My husband is a cradle Catholic. We have two children. We are very open to having children. My problem is my health. My husband and I have discussed this and have agreed that we should use contraception for the time being. My health is at risk and we want me to be around to raise the beautiful children we already have. With the new round of meds that I’m on it would hurt the new baby drastically if I were to become pregnant while on this medication. My doctor’s are trying to help my kidneys get better. With prayer I know things can get better. I am very willing to have more children if my health does get better. If it doesn’t, and it is determined I could die if we have more then I will adopt. I’m on DepoPovera because I have to use progeterin only birth control.
Am I being unfaithful by using birth control? The meds I’m on could seriously harm a new baby. I’ve been told things aren’t black and white, so are we going to be okay with using this decision?

I’m in the same position as you. Major heart problem, dangerous meds. Except barring intervention from God or some major medical break though I will never safely be able to have more children. Another pregnancy would almost certainly be fatal for me. I use NFP (when used correctly is as accurate as artificial bc) and place my trust in God. I used it for nearly 9 years without becoming pregnant. Take an NFP class and get in contact with the couple to couple league (CCL).

Artificial birthcontol is an abortificiant, it has a backup mechanism to cause spontaneous abortion if by chance you should ovulate. You are not protecting the developement of a new baby by using it, in fact there is a good chance your doing quite the opposite.

If the bc your on is for a medical reason other than preventing pregnancy to protect your health -like you mentioned uncontroled bleeding I would first contact CCL they have experienced doctors that know many alternative meds to use for all kinds of problems. If it turns out this is your only option and it is not being used mainly for the prevention of pregnancy than yes you may use it. NFP really isn’t possible to do while on the pill because the drugs mask the signs of fertility and waking temperature would also be affected.

 

[rayne89]

ccli.org/

Here is the Couple to Couple league’s website

 

[SeekerJen]

I’m married. We started off with me on the pill, and then I went off it about a year ago so we could start trying for a baby. Even though we have yet to be successful with that, we have no regrets about stopping the contraception. I’ve informed my husband that we are not using anything but natural methods from now on and he fully agrees- aside from knowing we’re doing the right thing, sex is more fun this way, and I’m a lot healthier. I didn’t realize how much the pill had altered my body chemistry until I wasn’t taking it anymore. Scary.

 

[1ke]

st_felicity:

NFP should be used REGARDLESS! There is a possibility that an egg will be released, fertilized, and aborted.

I’m trying to imagine a acenario where Depo is the primary med for anything but contraception…Granted, a pregnancy would harm your health, but there are options other than contraception…

Your immortal soul is more important than THIS life–and NOT having sex WON’T kill anyone.

You are in my prayers…(and your husband too! I know it’s difficult for them also…)

You posted this to the wrong person, I think you meant it for AmberDale. However, I will address the part that is directed at me regarding my comments on Depo.

There are doctors who prescribe hormonal contraceptives to treat things such as extreme cases of endometriosis, cysts, PCOS, etc.

I am not saying I agree with their method of treatment. But, it is a legitimate one.

And, the Church recognizes this and does not prevent a person from taking this medication even if it has a contraceptive effect as the unintended consequence. Please see Humanae Vitae for reference.

I agree both that these sorts of treatments should be avoided and an alternative sought, and that NFP is an effective way to avoid pregnancy for serious reasons. However, you cannot tell someone that this treatment is immoral or not allowed by the church if it is prescribed by a doctor for something other than contraception because that is clearly not true.

 

[Windmill]

The poll results are very encouraging.