There is belief
and knowledge. Belief is not knowledge.
Any belief, political, social, etc, even religious, or especially religious, no matter how strong the belief in what seems to make it believable, is necessarily ad hoc. Knowledge itself is limited. So to believe in a god is to know somewhere within yourself that you don’t know. So aware of it or not, “god” is a placeholder for something hypothesized and, in this case, unknowable by human means. Even if some claim that that there “is” a god knowable by “reason,” those “proofs” are faulty. They fall more correctly into the category of rationalization. As Mr. Twain said, “Man is a rationalizing animal.” If those arguments were not faulty, they would carry the same weight as a mathematical theorem, a physical principle, or a measurable object. Everyone, because of those “proofs” would necessarily “believe” the same thing, much as we do that the sun shines or that things fall. Perhaps you have noticed that this is not the case with even the 40,000 sects of christianism, never mind the other 2/3 of other faiths that make up the rest of world religions.
So from my perspective, belief in a god is understandable on several bases, but not one of actuality. The reasons for belief, any kind of belief, are built into human awareness, and are necessary for survival. But due to lack of introspection, and circumspection, and a host of other supporting reasons, one’s initial beliefs tend very much to stick, and few transcend them to a more universal understanding. So beliefs are in essence an insulation against what we don’t know, or don’t wish to know, so that we can function as if what we believe constitutes reality. Thus we have a sense of comfort and surety otherwise not available.
And yes, there are beliefs in science, called “hypotheses,” but those are there for the purpose of testing, not as in political or especially religious beliefs as a final answer. So beliefs have a prophylactic function as well. Does that apply to asking about god?

good question. But questions are almost always very good to ask.
All that said, I am not a believer, because I know that beliefs are serving suggestions, even if they carry some aspect of accuracy. They never carry truth, for the reasons above. Nor am I an atheist, because in another subtle way, that is akin, but not equal to having a faith. I am not an agnostic, either. No reason to be any of those.
Does any of this mean that a spiritual life is a waste? Not to me, absolutely not. But my sense and understanding of what that is and means is radically different from any of the above. The difference lies in what is taken to be a/The" Divine Creator;" what that means, and what relationship to that means. I admire the Saints mentioned, and a few more in the Church, because despite not saying directly what they were at, they
did, if one has ears. In my understanding, it is quite clear as to why they took that tactic, which those not in the Church coming to the same conclusion had less concern about. At least, that is so if they didn’t live in the same time and place as the highly admirabel Holy Ones mentioned.
I guess that is thoroughly confusing. I don’t see how it cannot be. The only thing I can ask is that you allow the hypothesis that there is another way, and a solid reason for it, other than the usual big three of faith, atheism, or agnosticism. Can’t help you much beyond that. Mine is more of an experiential philosophical stand than a standard faith.
I literally stumbled into it, and only after a time discovered that it has been from time immemorial, without regard to region, culture, faith or lack of it, or any other condition. And there is a good case for it being the root of all religions in a practical sense, though definitely not in the theologically explicative sense. So if theological explication is your thing, what I stand for is not your cup of tea. Nor do I in any way recommend it as a way of anything other than something potentially difficult and definitly hazardous to belief. But beyond belief lies a wondrous freedom. And a cozmic laugh!