Desolate and alone

[chipeto]

+I get the feeling Chipeto . . . that both you . . . and this woman . . . for lo these several years . . . somehow deep down . . . wrongly . . . have convinced yourselves that it really isn’t possible for a single mother with children to manage on their own . . . even though many such families do . . . quietly and with simplicity . . . live on their own all around us . . . and the children’s real needs are . . . simply . . . but . . . amply . . . provided for . . . most certainly it isn’t easy for a mother and such a family to so live . . . but it is . . . absolutely . . . possible . . .

All true. For me, it is really her illness that complicates things.

this is a huge . . . really quite marvelous . . . Federal Housing Program . . . and their standards for excellent living conditions for the renters are very strict . . . and strictly maintained . . . which program provides simple, sound, good healthy housing for those with limited incomes . . . below is more information regarding this great program and a link to their website . . .

That is excellent information. I will look into that.

:twocents: Just a little two cents worth of further reflection: In regard to this woman’s health conditions . . . narcolepsy and fibromyalgia . . . one of my close friends suffers considerably with fibromyalgia . . . and though this can be a very painful condition . . . she not only is able to persevere and wonderfully manage her household and family . . . (husband and 2 children) . . . but is the full time office manager and receptionist for an incredibly busy medical office of seven medical personnel . . . though I imagine this condition may vary some as to intensity per individual and flare ups . . . *and I’m very sympathetic to anyone who suffers from this health problem *. . . it is a strong possibility that it . . . may not . . . factor in to qualify her in any way for a permanent disability status . . .

While fibromyalgia is now an allowable condition for disability, it all comes down to the individual case. One has to be impaired to the point of being unable to do meaningful work in order to receive disability. The same is true of MS. It has taken a few years and many experiments, but her doctors have finally come up with a combination of medications that have made it much more tolerable, so I do seriously doubt that the fibromyalgia, on its own, would qualify her.

The hypersomnia with narcolepsy is a much bigger problem for her. She can go for a week or more almost entirely unable to sleep, always completely exhausted. Then she’ll have another stretch where she seems to sleep almost all of the time.

 

[NiceMimi]

Chip, I think that you just got some really great information for your situation re HUD, etc. I am going to continue to pray for you, your friend and her children.

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for moving mountains for Chip, his friend and her children. Lord, You know what is best for them, and I trust that You will help them each in Your own special ways. Amen.

 

[Jesus_123]

+Chipeto . . . the term **“unreasonable love” **floated to the surface of this thread sometime back . . . below is a basic Catholic ABC teaching re God’s holy boundaries of love for mankind . . . *thought perhaps it might help here as you are sorting out your life and heading into RCIA . . . *

Matthew 12:30-31

“And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy **heart **, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the First Commandment. And the Second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other Commandment greater than these.” [/INDENT]Doctrinely, based upon the foundation of the above portion of Sacred Scripture, as Catholic Christians we are taught that there are three kinds of love imparted to the soul of man by God our Gracious Heavenly Father. . . Who is wholly holy Love Himself . . . and mankind was created in His image . . . *able to love perfectly *. . . before the free will falling from grace through the deliberate transgression (sin) of Adam which cast all of mankind into disordered relationships with both God and spouses . . . and all his fellow men . . . and the harmony of man’s life in relation to love in all its aspects was tragically destroyed and perverted and cast into grave disorder . . . and the sinful . . . LUSTFUL SELF . . . of man became the center of mankind’s disordered distorted love relationships . . . rather than maintaining our Wonderful God’s purpose and source of life and health relationships through the true nature and harmony of real genuine holy love in all its three aspects.

One of our marvelous teachers regarding God’s Holy :bible1: Word taught so well regarding Adam and Eve . . . regarding **Eve **who was deceived according to Scripture . . . who Looked, Listened, Lusted and Lost and Led her husband into sin . . . and Adam who was not deceived according to Scripture . . . rather than truly loving God and loving his tragically deceived wife now dead in sin . . . who Looked, Listened, Lusted and Lost and Led the entire human race into sin.

INDENTDoctrinal Teaching on Love:1) **** Agape - God’s infinite love for mankind and man’s reciprocal love (which falls under the First Commandment as related above) and

1. Philial - love of one’s fellow-man/neighbor and
2. Eros - intimate love exclusively created for relationship between man and woman as spouses . . .

*(both of last fall in the category of the **Second Commandment ***as related above) . . . [/INDENT]

The marvelous God fearing Catholic Benedictine nuns :nun2: in the European convent . . . through whom **He **graced my soul with a considerable portion of my education . . . have a discipline they both practiced and which was well taught called the . . . Holy Discipline of Detachment . . . Essentially it is that genuine love is a CHOICE . . . not just emotion . . . which emotion can carry us away is all kinds of “not marvelous” directions if not disciplined by God’s Love with caution and reason. One is to discipline and detach ones **heart ** and emotions from anything . . . *people, places and/or things *. . . that might take precedence over our heart’s first love. . . which should always be God and His Ways . . . and if one’s **first love **IS God . . . *and one’s soul endeavors to stay in prayerful constant communion with **Him ***. . . then healthy well-ordered love for one’s friends/mate/children/fellow man/neighbor etc. . . . can . . . and will . . . flow and follow . . . *in a holy orderly fashion *. . . and as the Reverend :nun1: Mother Emmanuel encouraged all her nuns: **

“Leave a little leeway
for the graces of God**.
It’s a never-ending affair trying to be good
but never forget
when God orders,
He gives.”

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Beloved Lord+​

 

[chipeto]

Essentially it is that genuine love is a CHOICE . . . not just emotion . . . which emotion can carry us away is all kinds of “not marvelous” directions if not disciplined by God’s Love with caution and reason. One is to discipline and detach ones **heart ** and emotions from anything . . . *people, places and/or things *. . . that might take precedence over our heart’s first love. . . which should always be God and His Ways . . . and if one’s **first love **IS God . . . *and one’s soul endeavors to stay in prayerful constant communion with **Him ***. . . then healthy well-ordered love for one’s friends/mate/children/fellow man/neighbor etc. . . . can . . . and will . . . flow and follow

I think about this constantly. I want nothing more than to love God completely, to really fall in love with Him, but I feel lost, I just don’t know how. I know that one doesn’t fall in love by following a set of instructions, but I still feel like I’m in the dark. I would appreciate any advice on this. This short essay speaks very much to what I mean: catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=33940. I want to be a conduit of God’s love. I believe that the only way I can love others unselfishly is to love God above all. My pretenses have been stripped away; I know now that I am weak and can do nothing without God.

I am starting to wonder if the feelings I have for this woman are really due to love, or if it is a mishmash of jealousy, envy, selfishness, neediness, loneliness, rejection, old heartache, and spiritual and emotional poverty.

After years of reflection and searching, I have come to the conclusion that Love is at the center of everything. It would be easier for me the deny the existence of the material world, then to deny the Love that precedes it. This is what drove me from agnosticism to the Church, through the saints. This one short sentence captures everything I desire:

Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.
G.K. Chesterton

Thank you again for listening to my rambling. If you or anyone can recommend any resources that might help me to learn to love God, I would be most grateful.

 

[NiceMimi]

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for moving mountains for Chip, his friend and her children. Lord, You know what is best for them, and I trust that You will help them each in Your own special ways. Amen.

 

[NiceMimi]

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for moving mountains for Chip, his friend and her children. Lord, You know what is best for them, and I trust that You will help them each in Your own special ways. Amen.

 

[NiceMimi]

Chip, I read your last note. I don’t have an answer, but I will continue to pray for your and your friend and her children.

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for moving mountains for Chip, his friend and her children. Lord, You know what is best for them, and I trust that You will help them each in Your own special ways. Amen.

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
If
you love me,

KEEP
my commandments.
- Jesus
John 14:15

… I want nothing more than to love God completely … but I feel lost, I just don’t know how. I know that one doesn’t fall in love by following a set of instructions, but I still feel like I’m in the dark.

+Hi Chipeto . . . you have . . . long . . . been a lost soul . . . living in darkness . . . separated and and apart from the Lord our God . . . and His holy ways . . . in your statement above and throughout this thread you appear to . . . want . . . **God’s Holy Presence in your life . . . and yet at the same time . . . you appear to be . . . casting-off/rejecting . . . God’s holiness and nature and God’s revealed holy ways as . . .“not for you” ** . . . the gathered together portions of **Sacred :bible1: Scripture **contained in this post are God’s own true answers from His Holy Word to your question as to how to love God . . . your life . . . as revealed to us here at CAF . . . is one which you are still attempting to live by making up your own rules . . . utterly separated . . . from the wholesome holy disciplines of the ways of God for His beloved children . . .
****. . . :coffeeread: . . .
The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the **LORD **thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And **shewing mercy **unto thousands of them that love me, and KEEP **my **commandments.

3. ** Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD **thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

4. ** Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD **made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

5. **Honour thy father and thy mother: **that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy **God **giveth thee.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

**7. ** **Thou shalt not commit adultery. **

8. ** Thou shalt not steal.**

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s WIFE, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ***, **nor any thing [CHILDREN] **that is thy neighbour’s.

:bible1: John 14:23 Jesus answered, and said to him: If any one** love**** me**, he will** KEEP** my word, and **my Father **will love him, and we will come to him, and will make our abode with him.

:bible1: John 15:10 If you KEEP my commandments, you shall abide in my love; as **I **also have kept **my Father’s **commandments, and do abide in his love.

:bible1: 4 Luke 8:15 But that on the good ground, are they who in a good and perfect heart, HEARING the word, KEEP it, and bring forth fruit in patience.​

all for Jesus+
thank You Sweet Spirit of our Gracious Holy God+​

 

[Jesus_123]

+By the Grace of God . . .

Relationship with our . . . **Wonderful Lord and Saviour ** . . . Jesus . . .the Blessed Christ . . . God the Son . . . is built . . . step by step . . . moment by moment . . . walking along God’s holy pathways as revealed through our Holy Mother Church . . . ***any relationship is always a two (2) way discourse ***. . . and so it is in our relationship with our . . . Holy Triune God . . . you have shared that you have been praying to **God **of late . . . which is wonderful . . . but for many souls prayer is embraced as rather . . . and generally only . . . a one-way communion line . . . ***this is error ***. . . below is an ABC Catholic discussion of loving conversation and communion with God . . . by God’s grace . . . I hope this helps as an addition of love and light in understanding the above post . . .

Prayer is essentially the heart of one’s soul “talking” to its God . . . on the other hand . . . meditation is taught in Sacred :bible1: Scripture and by Holy Mother Church as essentially being the heart of one’s soul “listening” to its God . . . the ultimate goal of these actions of the soul being that at the center . . . of the deep interior quiet within the heart of the soul . . . the soul enters into . . . *constant holy conversation and communion with its God *. . .

Lectio Divina (divine reading) is perhaps the clearest most well lit holy pathway for the soul to “listen” to its God . . . essentially it is encountering God in the reading of a literary level of holy writings in Christendom believed to be especially blessed and anointed of God . . . first order and always primary of which is God’s **Holy Word **. . . Sacred :bible1: Scripture . . . and which group of writings can also include The Holy Rule of St. Benedict . . . The Catechism of the Catholic Church . . . writings of the Fathers of the Church, etc., . . . and as such . . . when prayerfully read the . . . **Holy Spirit **. . . Wonderful Counselor of Our God . . . is abundantly available to help regarding the reading and understanding of same . . .

The holy monk Archabbot Douglas R. Nowicki , O.S.B. of the Saint Vincent Archabbey in Latrobe, Pennsylvania here in the United States . . . recommends that we . . . *slow down radically *. . . when reflecting on inspired material . . . so as to . . . ***open up freely ***. . . to the treasury of insights contained therein . . . he goes on further to share with beautiful simplicity:

Lectio Divina (divine reading)
Archabbot Douglas R. Nowicki , O.S.B. (Order of St. Benedict)

“It is the **monastic insight **that reading, if it be authentic, cannot be undertaken simply with the eyes and the mind. Rather it must involve the whole person: mind, heart, body and spirit. It is reading not so much for **information **as for formation, that is, for encounter with the living God in this moment in such a way that one’s heart catches fire and one’s life is transformed … In St. Benedict’s day reading a sacred or spiritual text was practiced not so much for the sake of ‘information,’ but rather in order to be ‘formed’: that is, to be inwardly changed or shaped. …

Thus the aim of lectio divina (divine reading), i.e., pondering the material in a slow, prayerful way, is to dispose ourselves to welcome God’s ever-present grace and His efforts to conquer our hearts and transform us more and more into a holy people . . . ”
​

. . . :coffeeread: . . .
CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCHPart One: The Profession of Faith

Article 2 - THE TRANSMISSION OF DIVINE REVELATION

81 Sacred Scripture is **the speech of God **as it is put down in writing under the breath of the Holy Spirit.

Article 3 - SACRED SCRIPTURE

104 In Sacred Scripture, the Church constantly finds her nourishment and her strength, for she welcomes it ** not** as human word, "but as what it really is, the Word of God."

In the sacred books,
the Father who is in heaven
comes lovingly to meet his children,
and talks with them.

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Dear Lord our God+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Mary+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Church+​

 

[Jesus_123]

Jesus_123:

:compcoff:
The Holy Rule of Saint Benedict
Prologue

**Listen,
O my son,
to the precepts
of thy master,
and incline the ear of
thy heart, **

and cheerfully receive and faithfully execute the admonitions of thy loving loving Father, that by the toil of obedience thou mayest return to Him from whom by the sloth of disobedience thou hast gone away.

To thee, therefore, my speech is now directed, who, giving up thine own will, takest up the strong and most excellent arms of obedience, to do battle for Christ the Lord, the True King.

In the first place, beg of Him by most earnest prayer, that He perfect whatever good thou dost begin, in order that He who hath been pleased to count us in the number of His children, need never be grieved at our evil deeds. For we ought at all times so to serve Him with the good things which He hath given us, that **He **may not, like an angry father, disinherit his children, nor, like a dread lord, enraged at our evil deeds, hand us over to everlasting punishment as most wicked servants, who would not follow Him to glory.”

Ora et Labora (Pray and Work)
"Glory be to the** Father **. . .
and to the Son . . . and to the **Holy Spirit **. . .
as it was in the beginning . . . **it is **. . . now . . .
and ever shall be . . . world without end . . . Amen . . . "
:harp:
+

 

[chipeto]

1. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s WIFE, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ***, **nor any thing [CHILDREN] **that is thy neighbour’s.

Now this stings, but I admit it’s true. I had been thinking of this as an emotional issue, but it’s also sin.

Like I know that she is seeing this man again…on the sly…and it tears me up. It just drives me out of my skin. I went through this 14 years ago and I don’t know that I can go through it again. I keep thinking: why couldn’t this be happening after we went our separate ways? I don’t want to be living with her while she ‘moves on’!

Now, if I am to be honest, I must admit that I would not be so torn up if it was me that she was with, so obviously these feelings do not stem from concern for her soul or her happiness. I wish I were a nobler man.

For the first time, I am starting to feel that I really want to be free of her, if for no other reason than to protect myself. I have been sleeping badly because my sensitive ears take on a life of their own at night, and listen for her movements (she is always up until the wee hours). Last night, mercifully, there was little anxiety, and I slept for most of the night.

I am fighting a lot of sexual temptation right now, on another front. I’ve not been fighting it well.

I met with the counselor again on Monday. He says that I have come a long way in the last week, especially in having the conversation with W and taking concrete steps toward a separation. He asked me what my plan is, and I described it as: a) taking the necessary practical steps to effect the separation, e.g. figuring out the economics and b) figuring out how I can survive this. He asked if I meant: being OK after they had moved out, and I said: “No, I can’t wait that long, I need to ‘be OK’ now!” So, he concluded by asking me to spend time this week thinking about what it means to me to ‘be OK now’, and that we would talk about it in the next session.

I remembered something that happened more than 14 years ago. My romantic relationship with W had ended a short time before, and I was helping her out and often watching her children for her. She was working at the time and beginning to date her boss. Her roommate at the time was a woman I will call J. J did not seem to like me and I asked W why, to which she replied that J thought I was spineless and weak. Of course, this angered me, no one likes to hear this, and W hastened to amend that J’s opinion did not matter because she had many problems of her own, etc. I didn’t give it another thought.

I remembered all this today and I thought, “J was right! She was right then, and she’s been right all these many years!” The decisions that I made back then came from weakness. The faux life we had together was weakness. Spying on her is weakness. Clinging to her is weakness. …I need a new character.

Thank you for the information on Lectio Divina.

Mimi, thank you for your prayers.

 

[NiceMimi]

You’re welcome Chip, and God bless you.

Heavenly Father, in faith, I thank You for moving mountains for Chip, his friend and her children. Lord, You know what is best for them, and I trust that You will help them each in Your own special ways. Amen.

 

[chipeto]

She slipped out of the house quickly and quietly two and one half hours ago (10 PM), and I have no doubt where she’s gone.

**Wait…please don’t click that back button yet…this isn’t just more moaning about W, I promise! **

No, really, I need advice. I got really rattled and wrote the following letter. My judgement is questionable at the best of times, so tell me if you think I should give it to her. It is sure to provoke a confrontation. Perhaps it would be completely counterproductive, and would only serve to make me feel better. Or maybe I’m just completely off base? Is it legitimate for me to feel that I am being made a fool of? My mind is full of fog.

There are many things I can be, and have been, that I can’t blame on anyone else. I have been weak, I have been spineless, I have been a doormat, a piece of furniture. All of these things I have been without requiring any assistance. No ma’am, I’m entirely responsible. But there is one thing that I can’t quite be without help from you:
a schmuck
And right now I am a schmuck. I don’t care to debate the whys and wherefores. I don’t need to hear your denials. None of that is necessary. You only need to understand my position. I went through this fourteen years ago; I don’t want to go through it again. You can’t say that I’m interfering with your personal life because I’m not, I’m trying to disengage from it. Perhaps you think I’ve no right to feel this way, or any way, about what you are doing. Well I do, and that’s just how it is. Just because I am invisible to you, does not mean that you are invisible to me. And I am not stupid.

Fortunately, there is no need for argument. What is needed is urgency. Please, no more delays or deferrals. Let us expeditiously complete the task before us. Then you can do whatever you please without subterfuge, and I will be freed from this shameful position, which no man should have to endure.

Do not think that I don’t care about you, or that I want you to be unhappy. Remember that I am a person, and a man, and I require some dignity for myself.

 

[Jesus_123]

:bible1:
For even as the
body
without the spirit is dead;
so also
faith
without works is dead.
- James 2:26​

+Hi Chipeto . . . I truly believe your soul has come to the point where you absolutely ** need to firmly take responsibility for . . . your own personal life, health and welfare . . . BODY**, SOUL and SPIRIT . . . before the Lord . . . immediately . . . and start dealing further . . . objectively, pragmatically and practically . . . with detachment . . . TODAY . . . with where in your life . . . **you personally on your own ** . . . should be taking further . . . immediate personal action . . . you have taken four (4) excellent steps forward . . .

**1) **you’ve been much in healthy repentant prayer before the Lord . . .

2) you have contacted :compcoff: Catholic Answers Forum (CAF) for help . . .

3) you have hired a Catholic Charities counselor and are faithfully attending your counseling sessions . . .

**4) **you have enrolled in a Catholic Church RCIA class which will begin September . . . next month . . .

however . . . you are continuing to willfully live with another man’s wife . . . . . . forbidden territory for God’s children . . . which wife has forced her unwilling second (2nd) husband to leave his home and family . . . and who is now “dating” another man . . . essentially you have been living in . . .* and contributing to *. . . a profoundly sick and deepening sinful . . . **very real evil immoral circumstance **. . . which is gravely harming you . . . BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT . . . and which you personally know to be sin . . .

Recognizing this to gravely be a state of sin in which you are living . . . you absolutely do personally . . . have it within your power and control to remove . . . yourself . . . immediately . . . from this grieviously sinful state for . . . *Jesus your Saviour’s Holy Name’s Sake * . . . in your life . . . by the Grace of God . . .

First and Foremost Action Item: When you go home tonight . . . you need to pack a large-bag and/or large-box (or two) of immediate necessities . . . with your computer . . . **and remove yourself . . . permanently . . . from these sickening sinful household circumstance **. . . NO EXCUSES . . .

Go to a hotel or motel of your choice for the night . . . and start looking for an attractive economical studio or one bedroom temporary apartment rental . . . or an economical one or two bedroom townhouse short term rental. . . you have all weekend . . . where you can live and prepare a sound plan to get your house situation straightened out . . . you have shared that you make a very good salary . . . I’m sure you can always go to the bank and secure an affordable loan . . .*** if absolutely necessary*** . . . so that you can find simple healthy wholesome adequate bachelor housing for yourself . . . completely apart from the apalling home situation you have been living in . . . pragmatically look upon . . . and accept . . . the financial investment you have made re rent of the big 6 bedroom house, etc. . . . as an investment very much gone bad . . . take your losses like a man . . . for your own sake as God’s beloved child . . . you absolutely cannot continue to sinfully live in the cesspool of uncleanness this woman has willfully has made of her life . . . and expect God to help you while choosing willing to so live with evil . . .

Second: The first “budget” item you need to concern yourself with is **your personal finances and your individual support costs **. . . there are all kinds of itemized lists for same listed in budget books in your local office supply stores . . . buy one . . . that way you don’t need to reinvent the wheel so-to-speak . . .

Third: Submit the letter you included in your last text to a family attorney . . . to be used as a firm . . . **goodbye letter **. . . and use it as a firm . . . Statement of Action . . . adding as the last paragraph clear words to the effect that . . . you are permanently vacating the present household at this time . . . **and **. . . you are firmly requesting that she . . . immediately . . . begin to secure other housing and living accomodations for herself and her family . . . and that she is hereby notified to find other living quarters and vacate the home with all her family and possessions no later than October 1, 2011 . . . after which time . . . if she has not vacated the premises she will become legally subject to legal action as a trespasser . . .

You’ve mentioned this woman is a terrible procrastinator . . . **take back personal control of the situation **. . . officially through an attorney . . . and this should light a **fire **under her . . . and stand firm . . . *love without self discipline is self-indulgence . . . *

*In dedicaton to the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart . . .

God bless . . .*

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Sweet Spirit of our Holy God+​

 

[chipeto]

I am really wavering on this. I was sorely tempted to give the letter to her when she returned from her tryst at 1:30 this morning. She came in so quietly, she was easing the handles on the garage and bathroom doors so as not to make noise, and I have never known her to do such a thing. My bedroom is right next to the garage door, and she would have immediately seen that my light was on. It was obvious that the last thing in the world she would have wanted was to encounter me then. For that reason I did not give it to her, and I did not come out of my room; it would have seemed mean, vindictive even.

When she left the house, she left it in such a state as to imply that she would be back directly. It is not unusual for her to run out for cigarettes and such late at night. She left the TV DVR paused, and the back door unlocked. All of the kids were in bed. I turned off the TV, locked the back door, and locked the garage door, which is something I only do at the end of each evening when everyone is home. She hates to unlock the garage door with the key, because one must lift up on it, it is heavy, and she is not strong. I admit that I was amused when I heard her struggle with it when she came back. She must have wondered why I locked up while she was out, she must have wondered if I know something. When I saw her for the first time this morning she gave me a long and apprehensive look, but I’ve acted perfectly cheerful today.

I have urges to tease her with cryptic comments. For some reason I am feeling amused by all of this.

I asked her today if she has made an appointment with her neurologist (her next step for seeking disability assistance). She said: not yet. A few minutes later I asked if she would call and make an appointment today. She responded sharply, saying that she probably wouldn’t call until Monday, because two of her children are sick, and therefore she doesn’t know what kind of free time she will have next week.

I will not give her the letter now, but if there is much more foot dragging then I think I will have to do something to make her comfort zone less comfortable, as much as I hate to phrase it that way.

 

[chipeto]

however . . . you are continuing to willfully live with another man’s wife . . . . . . forbidden territory for God’s children . . . which wife has forced her unwilling second (2nd) husband to leave his home and family . . . and who is now “dating” another man . . . essentially you have been living in . . .* and contributing to *. . . a profoundly sick and deepening sinful . . . **very real evil immoral circumstance **. . . which is gravely harming you . . . BODY, SOUL and SPIRIT . . . and which you personally know to be sin . . .

Recognizing this to gravely be a state of sin in which you are living . . . you absolutely do personally . . . have it within your power and control to remove . . . yourself . . . immediately . . . from this grieviously sinful state

I’m not sure that I can agree. Certainly, I have sinned in my thoughts and my deeds. Certainly, the situation is harmful to me and cannot continue indefinitely. However, there are innocents involved, and I would suffer much for them. That doesn’t mean that I am any less determined to end this dependency, and a certain amount of discomfort for them is inevitable, but I do feel that the more gradual approach that I’m taking now is the best compromise.

you are firmly requesting that she . . . immediately . . . begin to secure other housing and living accomodations for herself and her family . . . and that she is hereby notified to find other living quarters and vacate the home with all her family and possessions no later than October 1, 2011 . . . after which time . . . if she has not vacated the premises she will become legally subject to legal action as a trespasser . . .

We rent the house and her name is on the lease. I cannot evict her. I could possibly bring an action against her for not paying her share of the bills, but it is a moot consideration. I would be lying if I said that I would ever do such a thing.

You’ve mentioned this woman is a terrible procrastinator . . . **take back personal control of the situation **. . . officially through an attorney . . . and this should light a **fire **under her . . . and stand firm . . . *love without self discipline is self-indulgence . . . *

I am prepared to apply the necessary pressure, but not so much, so soon, and I have made certain assurances that I don’t feel I can renege on.

 

[Jesus_123]

+From our well known . . . experienced . . . RCIA Catechist . . . among us here at CAF . . .

You obviously need to remove yourself from the household now, as in, today. And you cannot be a player in the relationship and drama between this couple. This would be true even if you were actually a brother/brother in law, precisely for the reason that your presence in the home has become an issue.

Will you be alone? Yes. And through this immense growth and graces will come. Use the new manner of living to deepen your relationship and dependence on Christ. You will also experience a very healthy kind of selfishness that puts your spiritual needs ahead of all other demands. RCIA will provide you with a new family and support network for a time, but also prepare you in the very best sense for the aloneness we all must come to before God at some point. And this happens precisely because you are being drawn more deeply into a community. Can’t explain well but it is a journey you need to take. Welcome home, brother.

+You’ve made your decision then Chipeto . . . which is to continue to willfully live with another man’s wife . . . and another man’s children . . . rationalizing by using these children as a feeble excuse to disobey God . . . *you know this is sinful . . . but have chosen to deliberately continue to offend **God ** . . . by continuing to sinfully so live . . . *

I believe God has been . . . preparing you . . . to enter . . .** forgiven and cleansed ** . . . having renounced your sinful life . . . which would have enabled you to enter into the class in all holiness and righteousness . . . joining the upcoming RCIA class for God’s children . . . where in a couple of weeks you will be in contact with others of God’s holy family . . . but your unholy lifestyle . . . is completely unacceptable to **Christ **and our ****** ** Apostolic Holy Roman Catholic Church . . . you have chosen an unholy immoral woman . . . and another man’s children . . . as your . . . first loves . . . refusing the . . . **Lord our God **. . . His rightful first place in your life and heart . . . and have deliberately chosen to procrastinate and NOT to obey the **Lord **. . . **our Wonderful Saviour **. . . and have rejected His holy ways . . . and chosen to continue in your own inventions and unholy ways . . .

I will pray . . . . . . for both the RCIA group . . . which you are boldly entering . . .** with most unholy boldness*** . . . while continuing on in your unholy sinful lifestyle *. . . God bless and help and protect them all . . . and their catechist/teacher . . .


PRAYER TO
**SAINT MICHAEL
THE ARCHANGEL **

**St. Michael the Archangel, **
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness
and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him,
we humbly pray,
and do
**thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, **
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

. . . all for Jesus+
​

*So be it . . . I’ll disconnect this thread at this point . . . further contact with you would be a sin . . . *as you willingly taunt, wound and **bruise our so terribly . . . wounded ** and murdered . . . **Crucfied ****Lord and Saviour ** . . . further . . . ***Jesus ***. . . *the Blessed Christ of God *. . . among us . . .

*May God have mercy on your rebellious soul . . . *

. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You our Blessed Crucified Lord+
. . . thank you Dear Blessed Sinless Virgin Mary+
. . . thank you Blessed :angel1: St. Michael+
. . . Warrior Head of the Heavenly Angelic :angel1: Army+​

 

[chipeto]

Wow. Jesus_123, I’m am genuinely grateful to you for the guidance you have given me up til now, but I really don’t understand you. I doubt if you will read this, but I can hardly let it go unanswered.

I am not sleeping with this woman. I don’t see that living in a house with her for a finite, transitional period constitutes sin. I know that this situation is disordered, indeed I have taken difficult steps to correct it, but I don’t know how you can be so certain that your solution is the only acceptable one. I don’t see that considering the children’s welfare constitutes a feeble excuse to disobey God. There is a lot that I don’t know about the faith, but I have read the catechism, and I just don’t understand how you can be so gosh-darn certain about all of this. Now maybe I’m wrong about a number of things, but does that necessarily, inevitably mean that I have ‘rejected His holy ways’, or that I ‘willingly taunt, wound and bruise our so terribly . . . wounded and murdered . . . Crucfied Lord and Saviour’?

I’m really shocked by your language.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Wow. Jesus_123, I’m am genuinely grateful to you for the guidance you have given me up til now, but I really don’t understand you. I doubt if you will read this, but I can hardly let it go unanswered.

I am not sleeping with this woman. I don’t see that living in a house with her for a finite, transitional period constitutes sin. I know that this situation is disordered, indeed I have taken difficult steps to correct it, but I don’t know how you can be so certain that your solution is the only acceptable one. I don’t see that considering the children’s welfare constitutes a feeble excuse to disobey God. There is a lot that I don’t know about the faith, but I have read the catechism, and I just don’t understand how you can be so gosh-darn certain about all of this. Now maybe I’m wrong about a number of things, but does that necessarily, inevitably mean that I have ‘rejected His holy ways’, or that I ‘willingly taunt, wound and bruise our so terribly . . . wounded and murdered . . . Crucfied Lord and Saviour’?

I’m really shocked by your language.

His language may be a bit strong considering that you are new and you are trying to find your way in this. The issue here is that you are enabling her. You are also comitting the sin of scandal under the fifth commandment by living with another man’s wife whether or not a sin actually is committed. You are allowing her children to see this as normal. You are hurting their growth spiritually. All of these are sins. Not choosing to go forward and make immediate steps to rectify this situation with a plan is a problem. You should be saying who is moving out, when, and what needs to happen? This is my opinon.

Have you spoken to your priest about this?

 

[chipeto]

His language may be a bit strong considering that you are new and you are trying to find your way in this. The issue here is that you are enabling her. You are also comitting the sin of scandal under the fifth commandment by living with another man’s wife whether or not a sin actually is committed. You are allowing her children to see this as normal. You are hurting their growth spiritually. All of these are sins. Not choosing to go forward and make immediate steps to rectify this situation with a plan is a problem. You should be saying who is moving out, when, and what needs to happen? This is my opinon.

Thanks for responding. I see your point about scandal. Let me ask you, haven’t I taken ‘immediate steps to rectify this situation with a plan’? I’ve done lots of planning. I have set a timeline and spelled out, in detail, what needs to happen. I am working to accelerate this timeline. Argh.

Have you spoken to your priest about this?

No, I haven’t. In truth, I’ve only attended a few masses so far, and I’m not yet Catholic, so I’ve wondered if I really have any standing to ask to talk to a priest.