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PatriceA
Guest
Are you just as disturbed by adults acting badly in mass, or is it just children you wish to be silenced?
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zab
Guest
Another old adage comes to mind…
Well, you sure proved that one, didn’t you.
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Iowa_Mike
Guest
Yes, I would am disturbed when adults misbehave at mass and I don’t mind telling them on the spot either…fortunately this is a rare thing.
God Bless,
Iowa Mike
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zab
Guest
It goes both ways, Mike.
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Sailor_Kenshin
Guest
Judgmental?
We don’t know the individual circumstances. We are NOT judging the state of anyone’s soul or their private struggles.
We are not only permitted to judge actions, but encouraged to, and to offer fraternal correction.
Some of us, however, are lamenting the fact that discipline and respect for others (not to mention respect for the Holy Mass) is a lost art.
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Faith1960
Guest
I think that’s the point…he can’t pay much attention to Mass because of all the chaos some parents allow their kids to create.
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phoooiee
Guest
I am sure of this…we will make more progress solving this problem through charity than through policing people’s behavior in church.I think that’s the point…he can’t pay much attention to Mass because of all the chaos some parents allow their kids to create.
Why not pray for them, instead of taking it upon oneself to enforce a rule that doesn’t even exist within the church? (my grandmother’s priest REQUIRES noisy children to be kept within the church so they are there for the service)
God listens. If it is His will, He will help the parent, perhaps through our prayers and perhaps through our kindness.
Every time a fellow parishioner showed me kindness when my children were noisy, this helped me to handle the situation better and better. Every time. People will learn to be more considerate of others when we are their support, not their police.
God points out our imperfections when we are willing to listen. I am so sure that He does not need help from parishioners during Mass.
Please pray for those who are wrong or struggling, instead of chastising them. Trust God.
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Iowa_Mike
Guest
First the idea this will get better through charity rather than through teaching children what manners and consideration are is flat wrong. Children learn through example, instruction and correction not by people smiling at them when they are acting like jackanapes. All that does is reinforce their bad behavior.
Second, I know a lot of priests and not one of them appreciate having disruptive children in the nave during mass at the expense of congregation or the celebrant.
Have you never noticed that when a child is praised for some action or behavior they to repeat it in hopes of getting more praise. So it follows that when a child is praised for bad behavior they will repeat it as well. Therefore tolerating bad behavior does an injustice to the child because it teaches him or her that their behavior is OK. The reason that people’s children are ill-mannered and inconsiderate is because the parents are too. It’s that simple. And since the parents are clueless the only way to bring about any improvement is through fraternal correction, not of the child but of the parents.
It’s amazing that adults can be so inconsiderate of others.
God Bless,
Iowa Mike
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PatriceA
Guest
You can still be charitable when approaching the parents, or any adult you said you wouldn’t have a problem talking to about their behavior in mass. I certainly hope you are still exercising good manners and politeness and taking into consideration that you may be crossing the line in some circumstances in thinking you are always in the right in “parenting” the people you find disruptive.
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phoooiee
Guest
I am a living witness that through charity my family’s behavior got better. All those who were kind and tolerant of my noisy children helped my son to get to a place where he is very reverent of the Mass, and he is only 4 years old. My 2 year old son is still on the way. He is improving.
It may be true that the priests that you know do not appreciate noisy children being present, but there are other priests who feel the opposite way. This includes the pastor at my grandmother’s church, who forbids removing them, and also the pastors at my church, one of whom once said in the middle of Mass, “I love the sound of babies in church.”
I am grateful to them for their charity and their willingness to work with families and their ability to show us that we are all loved.
I think that the way to lead those who are struggling in the right direction is through prayer, and kindness, and perhaps by letting a person see our sorrow at the situation, which is doubtless difficult for everyone- but not by criticizing others during Mass.
Jesus taught us to examine our own shortcomings rather than focusing on those of others. If we cannot follow His teachings at Mass, where can we?
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Iowa_Mike
Guest
Well, my comments stand. I’ve got plenty of shortcomings for sure but I am not inconsiderate of other people and it is not a shortcoming to want a quiet and reverent mass experience.
God Bless,
Iowa Mike
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phoooiee
Guest
No, I agree. It is a beautiful thing to have a quiet and reverent Mass- a thing beyond compare.
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francesj
Guest
Judgmental?
We don’t know the individual circumstances. We are NOT judging the state of anyone’s soul or their private struggles.
We are not only permitted to judge actions, but encouraged to, and to offer fraternal correction.
Some of us, however, are lamenting the fact that discipline and respect for others (not to mention respect for the Holy Mass) is a lost art.
Do you not feel that there are two “camps” here that are at odds…both trying to be charitable, but feeling judged, and trying not to judge the other?~!
We don’t know the individual circumstances. We are NOT judging the state of anyone’s soul or their private struggles.
We are not only permitted to judge actions, but encouraged to, and to offer fraternal correction.
Some of us, however, are lamenting the fact that discipline and respect for others (not to mention respect for the Holy Mass) is a lost art.
Do you not feel that there are two “camps” here that are at odds…both trying to be charitable, but feeling judged, and trying not to judge the other?~!
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sandrabolongaro
Guest
I agree with tuscany and would just like to add that these little irritations can help us grow in virtue, instead of becoming annoyed make acts of reparation and if you can’t hear the sermon, read the gospel and do silent meditation on the scripture of the day or say a decade of the rosary instead. Staying after mass for 15 min to do a reflection when all the noise has died down is brilliant as you will just have received our lord and a few minutes reflection or silence will do more for you if you missed the sermon.I would rather see these little children at mass than the shopping malls. There is room for all of us we just need to be more tolerant. I often come home to listen to the Ewtn sermons and they are brilliant. There are also online reflections on the days gospel so nobody needs to feel they have not been filled with the word of God. Let us embrace everyone and every situation at mass with charity, we are not there to annoy one another deliberately. We all want to grow in holiness, let the children be, for theres is the kingdom of heaven.
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GaryTaylor
Guest
There are churchs with viewing rooms/pews, for those with Children. Theres one here by me that I have been to but don’t regularly attend. Anyway they have a small room in back with Lexan thats basically sound-proof. The Mircrophone from the front of the church is just wired in for sound.
I don’t pretend to know how available these are. Yet if there’s a Catholic Church as such right here by me, I would assume there must be many? I also breezed through this thread so this may have been mentioned. if so my apology. Look for the catholic churchs built in the last 20-30 years. Thats where you’ll find this. Those built in the 18th or early 19th century won’t have these for sure. I actually prefer to attend the older Catholic Churchs. So for me I’d rather deal with a child here and there. The older churchs have those outragous acoustics also. One child sounds like they are screaming through a microphone LOL
I don’t pretend to know how available these are. Yet if there’s a Catholic Church as such right here by me, I would assume there must be many? I also breezed through this thread so this may have been mentioned. if so my apology.
Look for the catholic churchs built in the last 20-30 years. Thats where you’ll find this. Those built in the 18th or early 19th century won’t have these for sure. I actually prefer to attend the older Catholic Churchs. So for me I’d rather deal with a child here and there. The older churchs have those outragous acoustics also. One child sounds like they are screaming through a microphone LOL
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corsair
Guest
Marci,
I’m in 100% agreement with you. Society has lost their respect for others. I got all 7 of mine through their young years and they have survived just fine.
My kids were always welcomed, even in Department stores. They NEVER touched anything. They were allowed to look but not touch.
As the kids began to understand what was required of them we moved closer to the front of the church.
Three of the boys became altar servers and one was a lector. Of the three boys; one is now the General Manager for a Canadian company, one is a school teacher with a Masters degree and the third is Marine Corps Officer. So discipline didn’t hurt them
I’m in 100% agreement with you. Society has lost their respect for others. I got all 7 of mine through their young years and they have survived just fine.
My kids were always welcomed, even in Department stores. They NEVER touched anything. They were allowed to look but not touch.
As the kids began to understand what was required of them we moved closer to the front of the church.
Three of the boys became altar servers and one was a lector. Of the three boys; one is now the General Manager for a Canadian company, one is a school teacher with a Masters degree and the third is Marine Corps Officer. So discipline didn’t hurt them
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zab
Guest
My husband, was quite a disciplinarian around the house, but in church when he happened to be holding one of the small children whom he coulnd’t control, guess who he handed them, too?
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workingman
Guest
What a exasperating 10 page read. Children will miss behave yup even at mass. Can it be disruptive to others? Yup, and most parents do there best. Do they always do it right? Nope. 
I once made the mistake of taking all three of my children to a daily Mass. Not that is should be a mistake or really was but boy did they embarrass me. Such wonderful ages 8,2,and1. What was I thinking? It was a suicide mission. A 1year old screaming due to discovering his echo, a two year old running up and down the seating and discovering that it was loose and extra loud if jumped on and to top it off my eight year old who knows better decided to have a off night and found every way possible to push my buttons. No crying room to retreat too, no gathering area to retreat too due to construction. It was the longest thirty min of my life. No one scowled at me though I am sure there was some muttering. The priest had all he could do at times to keep from chuckling. So what is one to do?? I just road it out and did my best.
If screaming children in Mass is such a issue why don’t we just take a page out of our none Catholic brothers and sisters. Build a nursery for all those noise making not knowing how to behave children and find some nice people to run it.
Then the parents don’t have to parent for a whole hour and people who find it to distracting or disruptive don’t have to listen to it. 
I once made the mistake of taking all three of my children to a daily Mass. Not that is should be a mistake or really was but boy did they embarrass me. Such wonderful ages 8,2,and1. What was I thinking? It was a suicide mission. A 1year old screaming due to discovering his echo, a two year old running up and down the seating and discovering that it was loose and extra loud if jumped on and to top it off my eight year old who knows better decided to have a off night and found every way possible to push my buttons. No crying room to retreat too, no gathering area to retreat too due to construction. It was the longest thirty min of my life. No one scowled at me though I am sure there was some muttering. The priest had all he could do at times to keep from chuckling. So what is one to do?? I just road it out and did my best.
If screaming children in Mass is such a issue why don’t we just take a page out of our none Catholic brothers and sisters. Build a nursery for all those noise making not knowing how to behave children and find some nice people to run it.
Then the parents don’t have to parent for a whole hour and people who find it to distracting or disruptive don’t have to listen to it.
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Sailor_Kenshin
Guest
Very little ones are going to fuss and cry (babes in arms, etc.) and there’s not much a parent can do about it.
Older kids? Say from six on up?
You have to wonder why are parents lugging every toy in creation and enough food to feed a multitide. The idea of respect and discipline itself seems to have crashed and burned along with the traditional family unit, and this helps no one.
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