OK. Just so it is clear, I’m opposed to a brand of feminism that essentially advocates “super-rights” exclusive to women. An example is they can choose to have a baby w/o regard to the wishes of the father and if they choose to have the baby, he is required to be financially responsible. Take away the morality of abortion for a bit, women can’t have it both ways/all the choices.
This being said, Christian love begins with respect for the individual.
- When one says that since most women are better nurturers thus all women should stay home, they pass judgment on the non-majority of women who aren’t the best nurturer in their house.
- When one says that women who are working are neglecting their kids, they are passing judgment on the decisions the husband and wife have made together regarding how they want to raise their children, how they want to involve themselves in their community outside their family, and how they’ve decided to divide child-rearing responsibilities.
- When one says that women working is a recent phenomenon, they are judging that the efforts of my grandmother and grandmother to assist in the running of the family farm as something other than work. Was it pleasure? I’m not sure they characterized their role of essentially running a laundry, cafe, nurturing kids, nurturing animals in the barn, and planting/maintainging the garden as leisure time.
I could go on and on along this line of thought. My point is that there needs to be less judging w/o the facts.
While both my wife and I have worked outside the home for most of our marriage (gratefully except in the early years when i was trying to get my business off the ground, her working was to satisfy her personal goals and use her God-given abilities), I don’t think many would say that my children (three daughters and one son) suffered for it. In fact, I’m proud of hte role model my wife has been for our daughters.
When one looks at how we divided child-rearing responsibilities, I was the one who Jsmitty would characterize as the feminine. I’m the one who comforted them and counseled them while my wife was the harsh disciplinarian and task master. This worked quite well for us.
If I can pat us on the back, today at parent-teacher conferences, the Vice Principal made a point to come over to my wife and I (our first real conversation ever w/ her) where she told us that she is really going to miss our senior daughter. She is not only a good student and very socially adept but she has a nice sense of justice. She has been impressed with how she has stood up for her fellow students to “bullies” and even to teachers when she thought they had been wronged without regard to how it would affect her.
Well, my friends, I wish I could take credit for this trait of my daughter but it is the example my wife set. I’d have it no other way.
So, Jsmitty, if you want a wife who will assume all the nurturing role while you spend your life as the breadwinner. Go for it. I hope it works for you. Just remember that you will miss some wonderful experiences with your children. If my wife has any regrets (she has never said anything as she sees that the results it has produced), I know she wishes that she had the intimate relationship w/ our kids that I have. Being the breadwinner, task master, and disciplinarian isn’t always the best job in the house.
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