Frustration in being continuously told "its just a date"

  • Thread starter Thread starter NappingDragon
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Sarcelle said:
I know I do the same when I chatter on about my favorite subjects which let’s face it border on obsession. 😊
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Yeah, I always imposed on myself a moratorium on speaking about video games and music (as I enjoy heavy metal). 😝
 
I think I look pretty fashionable. Have tons of khakis and flannel shirts and boat shoes and dress shoes and matching colored sports hats and socks and I have long hair on the top slicked back and short on the sides with a thin beard. I mean I think I look good, I get compliments from professors on my style and class of clothes a lot. I’m only 5’7” though so idk if that’s a bit of a turnoff
 
The reason I like to participate in these threads is because I empathize greatly with the plight of guys looking for that special someone. I was always shy and a bit socially awkward. My first date wasn’t until I was 20, and she asked me out. If I could find someone, I feel like it’s possible for any guy.
 
She probably found you attractive, and wanted to know more about you. When she did, she quickly determined the fit was not what she was looking for. She probably knows herself well and has defined ideas on what is compatible with her priorities, and personality.
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
Nothing diagnosed but I’ve had doctors tell me they think I have something emotionally/socially related and should get further testing. I have many relatives with diagnosed conditions. But I didn’t want to get any further testing because I don’t want to know. I already have embarrassment from life-threatening food allergies which makes any social situation with food very awkward and depressing…
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Maybe pursue that. More information can’t hurt, and maybe there is some treatment that might help. If you have a medical condition, thats nothing to be ashamed of.
 
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NappingDragon said:
Men are being taught that going on one date is not a big deal and they shouldn’t make a big deal about it and shouldn’t be worried about there being a problem and women are, at least based on the posts here, being taught something completely different.
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Taught by whom?

What you are getting here are a bunch of opinions.
 
NappingDragon said:
shouldn’t all these talks and books that keep trying to drill into guy’s heads that its “just a date” directing their advise towards women instead?
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That’s a fair point. I don’t disagree with you. Maybe the advice toward women would be to a give fair chance to any decent guy who asks you out and just go out with him once, with an open mind.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
if I met a young man who spoke of himself with regard to all of his religious activities, whom I only saw at religious activities, I would assume he had no interest in dating
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well, given that the common definition of “dating” in 2019 is continual one night stands via Tinder, that young man is one smart cookie.
 
Oh gospelofmatthew – you are very young, and I think there is someone special for you! If God has someone special for you, what are the chances that you would have met her already? You’re only 20, maybe it’s not in the plan that you meet her for a while yet.
PS - I have kids with food allergies, and it’s no picnic!! God bless you sweetie! Just enjoy being young and fancy-free for a while – someday you will be up to your be neck in diapers and dolls and plastic tiny toys and you’ll wish for those carefree days watching football! 😃
 
I don’t think I make people uncomfortable since I’ve been told by multiple guys and girls that I’m very funny. But thinking back on my interactions with people… I ignore people and walk past people a lot because I don’t want to talk to people. Perhaps this comes off as unapproachable
 
TheLittleLady said:
Steak is good.

Eating steak for every meal for the rest of your life would be daunting.
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Great point here, best to find someone who can have something different ready for dinner each night when you come home. A rare gem when you find that.
 
I do the same.

If people still want to talk and I don’t, I’ve been told that I have a death stare even Hannibal Lecter would be proud off.

It’s not only unapproachable but intimidating.
 
I mean, live-in chefs would be easy to find if you’ve got the money. Sounds like that’s what you’re after.
 
Erm no! Nobody owes anyone a date no matter how decent they may appear
 
Well, I didn’t say that anyone was owed a date, only meant that it would be worthwhile to consider being more open-minded and giving more guys at least a chance with a first date. (But I could have worded it better.)

When I was single, it seemed as though not that many single men were actively asking women on dates, even when the men were marriage-minded, and I found this frustrating. So it seems that there could be some give-and-take in the mentality that it is “just a date.” If we want guys to ask more, it wouldn’t hurt to be more open-minded about saying yes more often.
 
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Dating protip for men: don’t focus on dating. When it’s your focus, your dating success inflate your ego and your failures are crushing.

Focus on being strong: strong in faith, strong in virtue, strong in love for your neighbors, strong in industriousness, strong physically. You’ll find that things work themselves out.

After falling into the trap of focusing on dating for years, with its accompanying highs and lows, I decided to stop dating until I finished grad school. Less than a month later, I was dating my wife. But she wasn’t my reason for happiness – I took up powerlifting around that time, was focused on my studies, and was trying to become a better man. So the relationship didn’t have the stress of my depending on it for my sense of self-esteem. It was just a piece of the puzzle. Don’t let it become the whole puzzle.
 
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