I am not changing it. It is basically the same. What about being single? What choices do you have? You have two.oh no, lets don’t turn this into a masturbation thread, please.
i was thinking about abstaining from sexual relations, masturbation was not even in my mind when i started this thread and bringing it up will cause the thread to go off into tangents that i don’t want it to.
i understand and you have my sympathy. i, myself, am going without sex until my hubby returns from afghanistan. yes, it is difficult. maybe even more so when you are used to having sex regularly. but it isn’t impossible to do.
You have my sympathies too. Please let go of this kind of thinking though. It is one of the types of untruths that makes celibacy difficult. In the interest of NOT hijacking Deb’s wonderful thread, I won’t go into it here. Suffice to say that this kind of thinking has been proven mistaken. True celibates do not have this type of prostate trouble. It is just another way to make it look like sexual activity is a must.
It is so interesting that you bring this up! During my single years when I was making an effort to remain chaste, these kinds of questions from medical people started to make me feel like there was something wrong with me. I fell into the “everyone is doing it” idea in part because of the disbelief I faced from doctors.
when i was 16 i went to a gynocologist for an infection. my grandmother told the dr that i was a virgin. the dr took me aside and questioned me over and over and over again. he assured me that he wouldn’t tell my grandmother that i wasn’t a virgin.
I have felt exactly the same way. Sometimes, I feel like I am a freak, or the only one not having sex, due to their reactions. It is not easy, but spiritual and religious reasons aside, it is a smart decision. So many of my friends have gotten STDs from their boyfriends etc. Premaritial sex is so risky, and there is no “safe sex” in the single world. My life is hard enough without worrying about STDs or pregnancies.
Well, this is a female-dominated thread.norseman, i don’t think that anyone believes that there is not a general difference between most men and women’s reaction to sex. but blanket statements don’t take into account individual differences.
some of us females are very, very lusty. i think that you males would be shocked if you knew what type of thoughts that wondered through our minds.
I agree with where you are coming from. I found that my respect for the sexuality of both men and women increased the more I truly understood the phrase by Fr. Corapi, “Men and women are equal in dignity, but not the same.”
Thank you for educating people on the female perspective.I agree with where you are coming from. I found that my respect for the sexuality of both men and women increased the more I truly understood the phrase by Fr. Corapi, “Men and women are equal in dignity, but not the same.”
I sought to understand the cyclical nature of the female sex drive vs. the constant nature of the male one. These two natures can make celibacy difficult, but it is for entirely different reasons. Yes, men think about sex “every 3 minutes” as the saying goes. And women, when we clear our minds of all of the other stuff going on, think long and deep and passionate about sex. The woman’s drive tends to wax and wane, sometimes being higher and sometimes being lower than the male’s, while the male drive tends to stay on a more even, yet constant level. From everything I have studied it seems to have a lot to do with the cyclical nature of a woman’s hormone release vs. the constant release of testosterone. It further explains why many post menopausal women find themselves more lusty than before because the cyclical estrogen has dropped yet the constant, though low, testosterone remains.
So from this woman’s perspective the celibacy struggle is equally difficult in both sexes. The male’s seems to be a daily struggle that stays the same, and the female’s seems to be very strong phases of struggle followed by a reprieve. As we say in our NFP talks on periodic abstinence, “Women are like crock pots. Men are like microwaves.”
I forgot to ask. Did I capture the male perspective pretty fairly? My husband says I do but he is just one person and loves me dearly.
From my observation it seems that there is a greater degree of variation among women than among men. So for some women, continence (cellibacy is not being married, continence is not having sex) can be a tough as it is for men. But for others it’s not nearly as tough.
well, i am a female and i don’t fear that i needed education in this area
. i agree that most women have a different level of sex drive then most men. ). And yeah, for many women, lust is absolutely as crazy as it is for many men. And that includes the physical misery men often refer to…‘pink ovaries’ are extremely unpleasant. But I can’t think of a better way to put it even so.