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Xantippe
Guest
Why do you expect everybody to have exactly the same amount of “strength and resilience”?
After all, predators prefer to prey on the vulnerable.
Has the #MeToo movement become a witch-hunt to a significant degree?
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After all, predators prefer to prey on the vulnerable.
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Xantippe
Guest
That’s how a lot of people deal with trauma–just keep living your normal life and doing what you have to do.
It’s not at all an unusual response.
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ConstantLearner
Guest
Yes, look to your religion. Look to Christ.
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Xantippe
Guest
???
Jesus fell down under the cross and couldn’t carry it all the way to Golgotha.
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ConstantLearner
Guest
He could have run away in the Garden. He knew what was coming. He didn’t. He stayed and did not hide from the truth. He was the Messiah, even though it got him crucified. And no one was nailed to the Cross with him.
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Thom18
Guest
I think that certain people may be trying to hijack it to turn it into one, but it’s not at that point yet.
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starshiptrooper
Guest
Murder is a more serious crime and it tends to leave more usable evidence meaning that the police have a better chance of solving the crime.
An underfunded police department is probably going to have a hard time allocating the resources necessary to process the evidence. Who is more likely to vote for raising the law enforcement budget though, a law and order right winger like myself or an intersectional feminist who believes that the police are busy hunting black men for sport?
Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that very few people want to die and those that do often do the job themselves whereas plenty of people want to have sex and there are plenty of reasons to lie about having had it consensually.
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Xantippe
Guest
Look at Bill Cosby.
Who would have believed back in the 1980s that Dr. Huxtable had a hobby of drugging and raping dozens of women?
It would have seemed fantastical that such a beloved figure had such a dark side. Under the circumstances, who can blame women who didn’t instantly speak up against “America’s Dad”?
There are still people today (including in this thread), who don’t believe that Bill Cosby did it, even though there are 50+ accusers who say so. We’re basically operating under the equivalent of Islamic law right now, where you need multiple female witnesses to outweigh one man’s testimony, and even so, it’s not hard to find people who think that one man’s word outweighs 50 women’s word.
Who would have believed back in the 1980s that Dr. Huxtable had a hobby of drugging and raping dozens of women?
It would have seemed fantastical that such a beloved figure had such a dark side. Under the circumstances, who can blame women who didn’t instantly speak up against “America’s Dad”?
There are still people today (including in this thread), who don’t believe that Bill Cosby did it, even though there are 50+ accusers who say so. We’re basically operating under the equivalent of Islamic law right now, where you need multiple female witnesses to outweigh one man’s testimony, and even so, it’s not hard to find people who think that one man’s word outweighs 50 women’s word.
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DarkLight
Guest
The Christ I knew at the time only cared that I stayed with my abuser so I wouldn’t be “impure” for the next guy.
Oh yeah, and when I did try to report it I got told I couldn’t because it had been more than 3 days. They wouldn’t even take the report.
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Xantippe
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What you’re suggesting requires a whole lot of clarity that may not come immediately–and immediate reporting is the only time line that you are willing to accept.
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PetraG
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Victims are often gaslighted by their abusers into believing that (a) it was all a misunderstanding and this has never happened before or (b) no one is going ot believe them or (c ) they “gave the wrong signals” so that they have something to feel ashamed of and so on.
Serial abusers don’t get to violate victim after victim without having some idea how to choose victims least likely to turn them in to an authority and and then convince those victims that the right thing to do is to remain silent.
I know I believed that kind of thing about the person who violated me. When I read in the newspaper that others had made accusations against him, I felt first disbelief and then sudden comprehension. It was a total change in perspective that happened many years after the fact, like a veil being lifted. Of course in retrospect I’d absolutely tell someone in my position to report this fellow immediately and to follow up on what happened with the information, but at the time the incidents happened I was too naive to realize that the incidents involving me were not isolated and really didn’t have all that much to do with me.
When someone is famous or well-respected, you hardly jump to the conclusion that the person is capable of something like that. If you have no background in this idea that you ought to tell about incidents that really make you uncomfortable–such as children and young people are getting with the training that Catholic churches give now–it does not occur to you that anything like this ever happens to anyone else. Abusers can be wolves in sheep’s clothing, and give the impression that they could never intentionally do anything like that.
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ConstantLearner
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As an adult, or even an older teenager, a Catholic should already be at that point.
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ConstantLearner
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What do you think about the fact that 55% of the voters in the poll at the top of this page voted “yes” the “me, too” movement has become a witch hunt to a significant degree?
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DarkLight
Guest
Definitely this. The messages I was getting at the time weren’t “this is wrong and you should report it,” they were “well if you were just more modest and tried harder to be less tempting you wouldn’t have provoked him to do that.” I don’t think I even knew what date rape was, other than as some stupid idea feminists came up with to smear innocent men. There wasn’t really much framework for any idea of harassment either - harassment was when some drunk guy tried to grab you or something.
Thinking of another incident at a former job - one thing I remember is that I was aware he had been reported numerous times by multiple women. In fact I was taken aside on my first day by another woman and advised to watch myself around this particular man. He’d apparently accumulated numerous write-ups, but they never progressed beyond that.
Thinking of another incident at a former job - one thing I remember is that I was aware he had been reported numerous times by multiple women. In fact I was taken aside on my first day by another woman and advised to watch myself around this particular man. He’d apparently accumulated numerous write-ups, but they never progressed beyond that.
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Lea101
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Not to mention that if you know basic psychology, you would know that rape victims are unlikely to come out immediately because they are dealing with trauma. It isn’t the same as a theft, it’s a violation of themselves, a loss of autonomy (pretty important for the human psyche).
Many people in the mental health field will say that it’s very unrealistic to expect such victims to come forth immediately.
The replies here are quite saddening, especially on a catholic forum!
Many people in the mental health field will say that it’s very unrealistic to expect such victims to come forth immediately.
The replies here are quite saddening, especially on a catholic forum!
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pnewton
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No, not, and not. This exaggeration is stupid. It does not remotely represent what anyone is saying. You can always be right with such a straw man, but right about something no one is saying.
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pnewton
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Some types of murder have higher punishments than some categories of rape, and visa versa. For law enforcement, this is a false dichotomy.ConstantLearner:
Law enforcement and the justice system take murder a lot more seriously than rape.
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Xantippe
Guest
Again, you’re giving no credit to the likely psychological aftermath of trauma.
Traumatic Events
Traumatic events can cause physical, emotional, or psychological, harm. Learn how to cope and when you should talk with a professional.
www.healthline.com
“The person experiencing the distressing event may feel threatened, anxious, or frightened as a result. In some cases, they may not know how to respond, or may be in denial about the effect such an event has had. The person will need support and time to recover from the traumatic event and regain emotional and mental stability.”
" Shock and denial shortly after the event is a normal reaction. Shock and denial are often used to protect oneself from the emotional impact of the event. You may feel numb or detached. You may not feel the event’s full intensity right away."
Instant recovery and instant competence may occasionally happen, but it’s a very weird thing to expect as a matter of course.
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Xantippe
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I think CAF has a lot of MRAs/Red Pill people who are invested in the idea that women are usually lying about sexual harassment and assault.
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TheAmazingGrace
Guest
I think they should all wear name tags, so I know to avoid them if I ever come across them IRL.
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