Has the #MeToo movement become a witch-hunt to a significant degree?

[ConstantLearner]

You must be confused. I did not say that.

 

[Theo520]

Sorry, willpower and restraint are not about mental maturity. I can teach a four-month old puppy not to touch a steak sitting on the floor. And in a lot less time than this thread has consumed.

What it takes is a willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own actions. Blaming the victim because they had the audacity to dress well shows an unwillingness to take responsibility.

In your first paragraph, it sounds like you are chastising mothers all over for not teaching their babies.

In the second paragraph you seem to be describing what I would call maturity, an ability to reflect on your actions and their impact to others. I equate mental maturity with not being completely self centered, on what you want.

 

[casslean]

I’m chastising society for not teaching children these lessons, yes.

And there is a different between not being mature and choosing not to act in a mature manner. Unless you actually have some developmental deficit, there is no reason for grown men not to behave in a mature fashion.

 

[ConstantLearner]

What it takes is a willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own actions. Blaming the victim because they had the audacity to dress well shows an unwillingness to take responsibility.

No, it doesn’t. If you feel wronged, it is YOUR responsibility to bring it to the attention of those in charge IMMEDIATELY whether it’s difficult or not.

 

[casslean]

No, it doesn’t. If you feel wronged, it is YOUR responsibility to bring it to the attention of those in charge IMMEDIATELY whether it’s difficult or not.

What if bringing it to the attention of “those in charge” is going to cost you your job? A job you need to pay the bills and feed your kids?

What if “those in charge” are the ones harassing you?

 

[ConstantLearner]

Again, either you have 0 empathy or you are simply ignorant about what happens to someone during a traumatic experience (especially rape, where a human’s basic need for autonomy is taken away).

I find your ad hominem attack emotionally abusive. #MeToo

 

[TheAmazingGrace]

Good to know that if I ever get raped, I shouldn’t look for solace from CAF. A bunch of people who profess to be Catholic, yet when it comes to sexual abuse victims you express some of the least Christlike attitudes that I’ve seen in any group (with some welcome exceptions like Xan, Lea, Bruised Reed, etc).

This thread has left me emotionally and spiritually exhausted. God protect me should I ever come across some of you in real life.

I’m done. Goodbye.

 

[DarkLight]

Besides, as someone admitted earlier on in the thread, they are not even naming their alleged attackers or trying to go to the authorities. Therefore they either doing this for attention or trying to undermine due process. Both motivations are obviously problematic.

Drawing attention to the idea that something is legitimately an issue isn’t a bad thing. People talk like “wanting attention” is bad as if we all just live our lives in a vacuum where the default state is that everyone ignores what’s going on with everyone else around them and that’s the way things should be.

I remember the first few tweets of #metoo. The goal back then was to simply show how common women faced such instances. I can remember a tweet saying something along the lines of ‘if we tell our experiences with the hashtag, maybe it’ll show men that this isn’t just a problem in Hollywood and they should help us’…something like that.

Hence the tweets without the abuser’s name.

Seems fine if that’s the goal, because they clearly do not want to pursue this any further, but in the long term I would love to see people holding their abusers accountable. I’m sure this movement have encouraged some, but we have a long way to go.

I think this hits the nail on the head. A lot of the idea was just to draw the point to how common this sort of thing is.

Here’s an easy example: I had one time very early on in grad school, where I was walking to my office, and someone yelled something very crude at me. I got to the office and I was rather shaken up. It means something to me to have my male colleagues be aware that this is a thing that happens to women, that I have a reason to be shaken up and asking if it’s safe to keep going the way I’ve been going.

The guy didn’t even commit a crime - he has free speech, even if he uses it to shout disgusting things at women, that’s not against the law. But it still means something to have men around me recognize that it’s genuinely something that would concern me.

 

[ConstantLearner]

Drawing attention to the idea that something is legitimately an issue isn’t a bad thing. People talk like “wanting attention” is bad as if we all just live our lives in a vacuum where the default state is that everyone ignores what’s going on with everyone else around them and that’s the way things should be.

Lea101:

When people wait 10, 20, 30 years to bring something to light that a responsible adult would have brought to light immediately, they aren’t going to get much sympathy except from others like themselves. That’s just reality.

 

[Inisfallen]

That’s a super-misleading headline, don’t you think?

The story isn’t “13 Reasons Why Women Lie About Rape,” it’s “Why 13 Women Lied About Rape.”

Very different things, wouldn’t you agree?

 

[graciew]

And practiced restraint is more about mental maturity, something I fully admit a large number of men lack.

Then,their place in a zoo and/or behind bars
Nobody buys that any more.
Gentlemen are gentlemen and we all know them and some really very young…
This is also sad to spread about men…as if most were animals…

 

[ConstantLearner]

My husband, who actually IS a male model, gets hit on almost daily by men and women! He believes it’s his responsibility to shut it down, by letting the other person know he’s not interested or going to a superior if it comes to that. He’s suffered no trauma. And he respects all, beginning with me. But he wouldn’t hit on a woman if he were free. We were engaged a long time, and I never saw him look at another woman, though I wouldn’t care if looking was all he did.

 

[casslean]

My husband, who actually IS a male model, gets hit on almost daily by men and women! He believes it’s his responsibility to shut it down, by letting the other person know he’s not interested or going to a superior if it comes to that. He’s suffered no trauma.

I told my supervisor I wasn’t interested. He called me a crude name, accused me of leading him on, and systematically began isolating me from all of my co-workers by spreading vicious rumours.

I complained to upper management. Shortly after I was told I 'wasn’t a good fit" and was being let go.

Maybe you might consider that the experience is different for women than for men.

 

[casslean]

My husband, who actually IS a male model, gets hit on almost daily by men and women! He believes it’s his responsibility to shut it down, by letting the other person know he’s not interested or going to a superior if it comes to that. He’s suffered no trauma. And he respects all, beginning with me. But he wouldn’t hit on a woman if he were free. We were engaged a long time, and I never saw him look at another woman, though I wouldn’t care if looking was all he did.

In another instance, I complained to a superior that another member of the volunteer group I worked with was way too handsy, despite repeatedly being told not to touch me. I was told that “He’s just like that,” and I shouldn’t take it personally.

I ended up leaving the organization.

 

[ConstantLearner]

I complained to upper management. Shortly after I was told I 'wasn’t a good fit" and was being let go.

I admit it’s not right, but it’s not so different for men. My husband has lost jobs for the same reason.

 

[casslean]

I admit it’s not right, but it’s not so different for men. My husband has lost jobs for the same reason.

And yet you can’t see why women in vulnerable positions might not feel free to voice their objections?

That is… baffling. Seriously, just baffling.

 

[ConstantLearner]

And yet you can’t see why women in vulnerable positions might not feel free to voice their objections?

No, I don’t because it’s the right thing to do. My husband would never consider not voicing objections even though it could - and has - lost him big accounts. He does the morally right thing. Nothing baffling about it.

 

[casslean]

No, I don’t because it’s the right thing to do. My husband would never consider not voicing objections even though it could - and has - lost him big accounts. He does the morally right thing.

So how does that morality fit in when we’re talking about a mother who might lose her job and her only means of supporting her children?

 

[ConstantLearner]

So how does that morality fit in when we’re talking about a mother who might lose her job and her only means of supporting her children?

Do what my husband does - get another job. Sure, it’s hard, but it’s the right thing to do. Or let the man know you will not let the matter go. And then don’t.

 

[graciew]

That is one of my brothers. …gosh.
Some women have no face really …and couldn t care less who is watching,married, children or not. And the photos posted for him ,surreal…
As if it were cool to skip any sort of barrier …
We were together in some sort of show biz,not that I was his “baby sitter…”