Homophobic reaction to the abuse crisis discouraging me - what should I do?

[amt1985]

I would suggest you stop announcing what your sinful inclinations are and work on humility.

So I’m not allowed to talk about this at all? I’m not allowed to even mention it in an effort to seek spiritual help? Despite the fact that this a very serious part of the struggles I’ve faced? That’s exactly the attitude my family had, that’s exactly what drove me away from the Church years ago, and it’s exactly what makes me so hesitant to come back.

 

[Augustinian]

When I waited tables, every Ash Wednesday I’d see lots of customers with ashes on their foreheads ordering gigantic steaks

Not everyone with ashes on their heads on Ash Wednesday is Catholic- plenty of non-Catholic churches do it too.

 

[amt1985]

Interesting. I didn’t know that.

 

[Gab123]

that’s exactly what drove me away from the Church years ago, and it’s exactly what makes me so hesitant to come back.

The Church is open; the sacraments are available; salvation is available through Jesus Christ with the help of all the sacraments to transform you and everyone else from wretched sinner to saintliness and holiness. That is the only thing God wants from you: Your salvation. What else do you want? We love you! come in and walk the pilgrimage to heaven and don’t look back. .

 

[amt1985]

Right. You love me. You want me to come in. I’m just not allowed to talk about my problems and seek help for them. Sit down and shut up, got it.

 

[graciew]

Well …it may just be " shut up and keep rowing " :wink:and that is translated as we are all together in this one, a big bunch of sinners and hopefully many saints struggling to get to Heaven . So,feel included.
After all when we say we are brothers and sisters, we mean it! And you know what it is like in a family…

 

[blackforest]

What do I do?

My deacon once encouraged me to avoid spiritually toxic influences and seek out the spiritually affirming ones.

Or as Texans say while they meditate, “Inhale the good sh**, exhale the bulls***.”

It’s a matter of surrounding yourself with the right people and knowing when to use the mute feature . . . on the Internet as well as that real-world Outernet.

God bless!

 

[Gertabelle]

Right. You love me. You want me to come in. I’m just not allowed to talk about my problems and seek help for them.

I think that would depend on how you talk about your problems and seek help for them.

If you sat with me for coffee and donuts after mass, and started in on your spiritual struggles and asked for my help, I’d be more than a bit uncomfortable if I’m honest. OTOH, I’m also pretty good at dealing with people, so I’d probably gently encourage you to make an appointment to speak with one of the priests at the parish. I’m neither a spiritual director nor a counselor.

Incidentally, I lived as a lesbian for about ten years (a long time ago now), and only one person at my current parish, and only one person at work, knows that about me. My closest friends know, but this isn’t information I share with any and every person I’ve ever sung with in the choir or worked with at the parish summer festival. It’s personal, and I keep it to myself and a very small circle.

It’s not out of fear. I just don’t want the general population knowing such personal and intimate information about me. And I wouldn’t want to know this information about most others either.

 

[Gab123]

Right. You love me. You want me to come in. I’m just not allowed to talk about my problems and seek help for them. Sit down and shut up, got it.

Tell your problems to a good priest in confession, find a good spiritual director. Increase your prayer life and TALK TO GOD. Jesus suffered tremendously for you to be saved, GO TO HIM. What all do you want? Pity? God gives mercy, not pity.

 

[blackforest]

Do mention it, but perhaps while meeting with a priest, friar, nun, or deacon about your struggles instead of anonymous forum participants in an Internet roasting session.

I’m sorry for how you’ve been treated.

 

[amt1985]

Well, as I said, my anxiety and paranoia are such that I haven’t been able to work up the courage to talk to anyone face-to-face yet. I’m working on overcoming that. Hopefully I will soon. But I’m not there yet.

Thank you for your thoughts. I’m sorry I brought it up. I’m off to bed now. I may rejoin the conversation tomorrow, or I may not. In either case, good night.

 

[graciew]

Have a good night! May Mary hold you beneath Her .Mantle.

 

[chessnerd321]

If it helps at all your threads have really inspired me to try to truely be welcoming to LGBT Catholics. And you’ve often made me feel convicted of falling prey to the human tendency of saying I want to make people feel welcome without always acting like it.

I really hope you don’t decide to leave the Church or anything. And media just isn’t helpful. I’ve had to take significant news breaks from this scandal. Additionally I’ve been praying for the church at every evening prayer and fasting every Tuesday for the Church. I would invite you to join me or do similar. That’s a lot more helpful than any amount of arguing on here or stressing yourself out with news. ‘Which of you by worrying has added even a day to your life?’

 

[Gab123]

my anxiety and paranoia are such that I haven’t been able to work up the courage to talk to anyone face-to-face yet. I’m working on overcoming that. Hopefully I will soon. But I’m not there yet.

I think a good place to start would be to have conversations with others who have walked your struggles. Checkout Courage–an apostolate in the Church specifically for people dealing with this issue.: https://couragerc.org/

 

[Thorolfr]

I would suggest you stop announcing what your sinful inclinations are and work on humility.

I thought that homosexual inclinations aren’t considered sinful by the Catholic Church, only actions.

 

[Gab123]

I thought that homosexual inclinations aren’t considered sinful by the Catholic Church, only actions.

What you say is indeed correct. There are many sinful inclinations that if we don’t act upon them we have not committed any sin. For example, there are people who have to deal with a short fuse, terrible temper, impatience that leads to fights, violence and murder. That inclination makes temptations against the 5th commandment harder to overcome for them than it is for other people that don’t have that inclination. Sinful Inclinations fall under the umbrella of the 7 Capital sins, everybody has to struggle with the capital sins also known as the 7 vices for which there are 7 virtues to overcome them.

 

[catholic1seeks]

If it helps at all your threads have really inspired me to try to truely be welcoming to LGBT Catholics. And you’ve often made me feel convicted of falling prey to the human tendency of saying I want to make people feel welcome without always acting like it.

Thank you so much for letting me know!

 

[Learner1969]

I don’t really care if you disagree that there is a prominent homophobic reaction in Catholic circles to the abuse scandals.

It is not your problem it is the homophobes who have the problem, don’t let it affect you.

 

[Augustinian]

What do I do?

You should continue to be Catholic, that’s it.

The apparent fact that you don’t feel that the Catholic hierarchy or individual Catholics in the media or in person are sufficiently in tune with Gay Rights for your taste is noted- but doesn’t change the truth of the Catholic Faith one bit. The church isn’t a political party, and membership isn’t based on some kind of political calculus.

 

[semper_catholicus]

Pointing out the truth is not homophobic.