I need to know!! Do all men watch porn?

[BLeev]

As guy and only speaking for personal experience, I Do sometime watch porn but I never do when I’m involved with a romatic intrest. Men in gereral want a woman to be three things 1)they want a woman bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen 2) they want a virgin in public and 3) they want a whore in the bedroom. That is just the way guys think whether they admit it or not. That is not to say they do not love they do they just want a woman to behave a certain way, to one degree or another.

That is an ugly and crude generalization of what you believe most men want of a woman. Not to mention a lack of respect for women. Let me guess … you’re not married.

 

[Rascalking]

That is an ugly and crude generalization of what you believe most men want of a woman. Not to mention a lack of respect for women. Let me guess … you’re not married.

I said the same thing a few posts ago and it didn’t catch on. I’m not married, and I think it was the exact same thing that you said-an ugly and crude generalization.

Thanks for posting this.

 

[MercyMia]

Porn is adultery in a person’s heart (Sermon on the Mount). It’s also a misuse of the female breast and means some women are at danger if they breast feed and choose not to breastfeed due to modesty reasons. Apparently smaller breasts are more natural, like Mary, and breasts have evolved larger because of contraception and also prostitution. Breastfeeding shrinks women’s breasts.

What in the name of…just what? This is nuts. Saying something like this is very counterproductive because it gives men a license to think that any women who has a large chest is easy because they are either a. on contraception or b. a prostitute. It feeds into the cycle of objectifying which is what we are trying to break here. When in fact, breast size is something that God determines as he builds each woman uniquely. There is no equation for how large a woman’s breast size will be. It is a mix of genetics and weight. Yes, artificial means such as the pill can enhance breasts, but we should not assume all larger women are that way because of the pill. I have no idea how you came up with a formula where prostitutes = large breasts.

You have no idea what the Blessed Mother even looked like. I agree that breastfeeding is a wonderfully natural thing and should be recommended if the mother is able but this has nothing to do with your tangent.

 

[Le_Cracquere]

I’d call it a common vice, but by no means a universal one.

Nonetheless, every man & woman has a set of crosses to bear, and to those fellows who log into this thread trumpeting their lack of susceptibility I say “Goody-goody for you. Have a gold star.” EVERYONE has some weakness that can compromise a marriage: I don’t have the gambling bug or a violent temper, but can take no credit for being dealt those particular cards. Mastering one’s individual weaknesses can be the work of a lifetime, and in one sense, the story of a marriage may be the collective history of those weaknesses & their offsetting strengths.

In this discussion, it’s also worth emphasizing that, however MATERIALLY degrading porn might be to women & human relationships, many men probably INTEND no such disrespect, and don’t exactly see where the offense lies. This might sound crazy to someone reared with a Catholic view of sexuality, but I suspect it’s so. And maybe combating the phenomenon should start with charitable assumptions of many porn consumers’ intents vis-s-vis women & families (however at odds they are with the formal nature of their actions).

 

[OraLabora]

I’d call it a common vice, but by no means a universal one.

Nonetheless, every man & woman has a set of crosses to bear, and to those fellows who log into this thread trumpeting their lack of susceptibility I say “Goody-goody for you. Have a gold star.” EVERYONE has some weakness that can compromise a marriage: I don’t have the gambling bug or a violent temper, but can take no credit for being dealt those particular cards. Mastering one’s individual weaknesses can be the work of a lifetime, and in one sense, the story of a marriage may be the collective history of those weaknesses & their offsetting strengths.

In this discussion, it’s also worth emphasizing that, however MATERIALLY degrading porn might be to women & human relationships, many men probably INTEND no such disrespect, and don’t exactly see where the offense lies. This might sound crazy to someone reared with a Catholic view of sexuality, but I suspect it’s so. And maybe combating the phenomenon should start with charitable assumptions of many porn consumers’ intents vis-s-vis women & families (however at odds they are with the formal nature of their actions).

Intelligent comment on the subject for a change.

We really should be working on our own weaknesses before condemning others for theirs. Speck in their eye, log in mine and all that.

That said, I can understand the frustration of a woman married to a porn addict or someone with any other kind of sexual issue.

 

[Rich_Olszewski]

Most men don’t regularly watch porn but most men have seen porn.

I agree. When I was young, I looked at it out of curiosity, but soon found it boring. Look, we all know that there are only a few things that those people do on the screen (over and over!) and after you’ve seen it a few times, it hasn’t any more attraction. At least, it didn’t for me.

Besides, anything I might see in a porn flick, I can get at home.

 

[OraLabora]

I agree. When I was young, I looked at it out of curiosity, but soon found it boring. Look, we all know that there are only a few things that those people do on the screen (over and over!) and after you’ve seen it a few times, it hasn’t any more attraction. At least, it didn’t for me.

Besides, anything I might see in a porn flick, I can get at home.

I agree, porn is boring. I get no kick out of it at all. When I was in university and porn was still film, I used to joke that it was the only kind of movie that you would watch in either forward or reverse and not be able to tell if it was… in forward or reverse except at the very beginning or the end.

Everything in between could best be described by a science major like myself as “simple harmonic motion with biological applications”. A sine wave is a sine wave regardless of which direction you play it in

On another thread someone makes the assertion that masturbation inevitably leads to porn. I disagree. Porn on my list of things that turn me off sexually.

 

[onmyknees]

I’d call it a common vice, but by no means a universal one.

Nonetheless, every man & woman has a set of crosses to bear, and to those fellows who log into this thread trumpeting their lack of susceptibility I say “Goody-goody for you. Have a gold star.” EVERYONE has some weakness that can compromise a marriage: I don’t have the gambling bug or a violent temper, but can take no credit for being dealt those particular cards. Mastering one’s individual weaknesses can be the work of a lifetime, and in one sense, the story of a marriage may be the collective history of those weaknesses & their offsetting strengths.

In this discussion, it’s also worth emphasizing that, however MATERIALLY degrading porn might be to women & human relationships, many men probably INTEND no such disrespect, and don’t exactly see where the offense lies. This might sound crazy to someone reared with a Catholic view of sexuality, but I suspect it’s so. And maybe combating the phenomenon should start with charitable assumptions of many porn consumers’ intents vis-s-vis women & families (however at odds they are with the formal nature of their actions).

Carcquere,

Those fellows were not trumpeting anything. They were just answering the op’s question.

I was so happy when I read their posts. It gave me hope that there really good men out there who want to be holy and do God’s will. They are wonderful examples for all of us! I am a woman but my husband is not religious and so for me it really helps to hear from holy men.

Maybe men that use porn don’t intend disrespect for women but I think that they know in their hearts that viewing porn is wrong. Natural law is in the heart of everyone not just Catholics.

 

[fbl9]

Carcquere,

Those fellows were not trumpeting anything. They were just answering the op’s question.

I agree with you onmykees about the others not trumpetting.

I was so happy when I read their posts. It gave me hope that there really good men out there who want to be holy and do God’s will. They are wonderful examples for all of us! I am a woman but my husband is not religious and so for me it really helps to hear from holy men.

Also agree that it is inspiring to know of sucess or one who has not been drawn into the mire of porn. Keeping in your mind what Carquere said about to each their own weakness(iow: their own crosses?).

Maybe men that use porn don’t intend disrespect for women but I think that they know in their hearts that viewing porn is wrong. Natural law is in the heart of everyone not just Catholics.

And perhpas some are so scarred by this sin they just are able to understand the “natural” law.

 

[agoodusername]

A lot of men watch porn, this is obvious when you consider the massive revenue taken in by the pornographers. Even with perhaps 90% of the porn downloaded for free, the fact remains that its a massive global industry which has utilised new technology to widen the market.

What we need is to educate people about the porn industry and make a wider moral case for avoiding it or, even better, legislating against the easy accessibility of porn. Ideas include a designated xxx. prefix instead of www. You would need to sign up for the xxx, which most men would not do. This would create a much needed barrier between porn and the rest of the internet. Social networking websites could be forced to reign in the porn content by law. The chances of stumbling across porn content or links to porn would be cut drastically.

Porn itself is not glamorous. A porn movie is carefully edited but if the cameras are rolling for an afternoon or evening, the full footage would reveal a nasty enterprise. A real insight into the girls employed in the industry would put most men off watching porn.

A carefully crafted image is created of liberated women choosing a career which brings fame and fortune. The reality is almost always a spillover of drug addiction/abuse/low self esteem with a lot of pornography being women paying for the next fix via the industry.

Porn is another form of prostitution. It preys upon a natural desire but corrupts it and turns it into something fairly degrading. Two people, rutting for the cameras, is maybe not something that is some kind of extension of Gods love so to speak. Neither are the men sitting in front of a computer viewing it part of any great plan.

Still, better to sin and have known it than to carry on under the illusion that’s its nothing to concern ourselves with.

 

[anode]

I am a male with no use for porn.

My husband, who is not religious, has never watched porn.

 

[mlund]

I’d say the overwhelming majority of men with internet access have seen pornography. Fewer have paid or otherwise provided material support for pornography. It can be insidious and habit-forming, in some cases even addictive.

But no, not every man is a current consumer of pornography. I got exposed to it back in college and thankfully I’ve kicked that demeaning habit. It does, however, take a certain amount of moral reasoning and discipline to do so. No amoral operator is going to find a compelling reason to stop. It is wrongly perceived as “victimless,” and rather heavily marketed and profited from in the developed nations.

• Marty Lund

 

[Sophia86]

I think it is not far wrong to assume that many men have watched/used porn at some point in their lives - especially with the rise of the internet and the fact that it is subsequently so readily available to them these days.

I am female, mid twenties, and have seen some porn myself Some indeed is very shocking and I cannot fathom who would watch it! However not everything porn-related is as sick or degrading to women as those who have not seen it might otherwise imagine.

With this hindsight I am less quick to judge when my male friends admit to watching it, as I can understand how in some ways it can turn them on. Some friends admit to enjoying it and feeling no shame, whilst others give admission to feeling bad for it, especially those with partners of their own.

I can understand how it may be difficult for some wives to accept it when their husbands admit to them that they enjoy using porn, however I do not think that it means they respect their wives any less. It is just an outlet for them, like masturbation, (That’s for another thread I think)

(Some feel compelled to hide it from their significant other because they do not want it to be read into it as any reflection on them). Surely this kind of secrecy is bad for a relationship, and if your partner tells you, then he is trying to do the right thing?

Whether I am condoning of this or not is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. What is important here (and initially compelled me to post), is that I’ve learnt it really does not mean ones partner is any less in love with you. So please never think that for a second.*

As for whether “all men” look at porn?* I’m sure many many do, but we can only speculate.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

I think it is not far wrong to assume that many men have watched/used porn at some point in their lives - especially with the rise of the internet and the fact that it is subsequently so readily available to them these days.

I am female, mid twenties, and have seen some porn myself Some indeed is very shocking and I cannot fathom who would watch it! However not everything porn-related is as sick or degrading to women as those who have not seen it might otherwise imagine.

I am curious as to what it is about pornography that is not degrading?

With this hindsight I am less quick to judge when my male friends admit to watching it, as I can understand how in some ways it can turn them on. Some friends admit to enjoying it and feeling no shame, whilst others give admission to feeling bad for it, especially those with partners of their own.

I agree that at times it becomes more difficult to not judge or form a quick opinion on those that have fallen into this world of filth. I do not judge them as well, I think that my initial reaction is that of sorrow and hurt for them as they do not know what they are doing to themselves and to their future spouses.

Pornography has a lasting affect on those that view it, whether or not they see it that way or not. With that first glance it begins. Now that they are on that path it takes a strong will to break free from it along with a lot of grace from God. The objectification that ensues from this addiction is so damaging. It can be the knife in the back of those that you love and cherish. I know what pornography can do and the damage and the images and the hurt that it can cause. I know the sense of “it is not hurting anyone what I do in private” and the way that I had talked myself into that even before I knew my wife. The devil is not stupid, he knows what he is doing and he has a gold mine with the porn industry. He knows the damage that this will cause to families. As Mother Teresa put it “if there is no peace in the family, there is no peace in the world.” Satan knows this! He uses this to destroy families.

I can understand how it may be difficult for some wives to accept it when their husbands admit to them that they enjoy using porn, however I do not think that it means they respect their wives any less. It is just an outlet for them, like masturbation, (That’s for another thread I think)

Resepctfully, I disagree. I believe that, while it may not be intentional, this does mean that the man does not respect his wife. Sadly, a lot of times it is intentional. There is no need for an outlet when they have the gift right there in front of them. I am not talking just about sex. Sex is more than the physical act that the husband and wife “do.” Who would take a stack of $100 bills given to them by their wife, turn their nose to it and take the stack of Monopoly money instead?

Pornography is complete and total lack of respect for women (and men) and the objectification is damaging to families in many ways. Sometimes little, many time great, but the affects are there and we need to be aware of that.

Pornography and masturbation are grave matters that lead us into mortal sin.

(Some feel compelled to hide it from their significant other because they do not want it to be read into it as any reflection on them). Surely this kind of secrecy is bad for a relationship, and if your partner tells you, then he is trying to do the right thing?

I see no way that pornography, hidden or revealed is a good (or right) thing? If one is caught up in that lie, I think that it serves them to get it out in the open, shed light on it because that is the last thing that satan would want. He wants you to stay hidden, it is easier to hide things, to lie, to deceive, to justify.

Whether I am condoning of this or not is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. What is important here (and initially compelled me to post), is that I’ve learnt it really does not mean ones partner is any less in love with you. So please never think that for a second.

Have a lowering of respect for your spouse is not being loving.

As for whether “all men” look at porn? I’m sure many many do, but we can only speculate.

Many do, but not all.

 

[Ancient_Magicks]

No, not all men watch porn, though I would say those who do not watch it are likely to be religious, not necessarily christian either; many buddhists and hindus don’t.

 

[Sophia86]

I am curious as to what it is about pornography that is not degrading…?

I agree that Porn is in the most part somewhat degrading, I have never disagreed with this my love. I simply said it is not all as bad as may be supposed by those who have heard speculations only, on what it entails…

Some is graphic and many may argue should be revoked, but some is quite natural (and from a males view point for two seconds, I can understand might be of interest to them if they feel so inclined.)

I can appreciate that it may be difficult for some not to judge or form a quick opinion on those that have fallen into it. However surely you have been taught to love thy neighbour. Moreover, judging others does not get us anywhere.

And respectfully I disagree… I believe that, while it may not be intentional in his doing so, this does mean that the man does not respect his wife because of it. I like your analogy stemming from dirty monopoly money vs a real wife, but some men may not have a very intimate relationship with their wife, or others simply do not see it as a sin. (This comes from personal experience talking to couples that happen to be good friends. They are quite open and okay about it. However they are not religious, and I respect that this can render a lot of what I am posting here, quite absurd, but that’s pretty inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, it is important that many view-points are gleaned from this).

I take on board your feelings regarding the ensuing damage you feel comes from objectification. However to say “It can be the knife in the back of those that you love and cherish” feels slightly overboard to me. I do not disagree that pornography in its essence can look like a lack of respect for women (and men). However many times it is not made to promote disrespect or objectification in such a damaging sense. It is quite literally for entertainment, (sometimes joint), and can even bring couples closer together!

You may well have realised by now that I am not a Catholic and the viewpoint that “Pornography and masturbation are grave matters that lead us into mortal sin” does not reflect in my own values, however I respect yours wholeheartedly, and wish that it wouldn’t affect you in such a disheartening way as though someone has just needlessly gone and killed someone or something. That would be a real mortal sin, and a real topic for such a critical debate.

Can I please ask, when you mentioned not needing a release when you have a wife, do you therefore think that it is a wife’s duty to give her husband sex whenever he is demanding of it?

 

[fbl9]

snip

and just who was in that wasted seed? nobody?

Can I please ask, when you mentioned not needing a release when you have a wife, do you therefore think that it is a wife’s duty to give her husband sex whenever he is demanding of it?

It goes both ways too If either spouse refuses the other based on trival reasons then yes it is a sin.

 

[Sophia86]

and just who was in that wasted seed? nobody?

By this I assume you are referring to a man’s ejaculate? (excuse me I cannot think of a politer way of putting that). If so, then surely you mean “thousands upon thousands of wasted seeds”? And the “who” is not the issue here. It is the “what”. The term “seed” I can agree with, but not the term of “who”. Most people believe that human life does not begin until the point of conception (namely when the “seed” joins the egg). Therefore the seed is more of a “what” than a “who”

To further elaborate, if we got into the same thinking that you originally outlined, then madly a great number of men would be murderers on a pretty large scale… However most people insightfully would not see it this way because the “seed” is not yet considered a life. This is quite akin to when a woman ovulates and in her monthly cycle loses her unfertilised eggs… Is she then by the same token of your logic killing (“wasting”) little people… or “who’s”?

“It goes both ways too If either spouse refuses the other based on trivial reasons then yes it is a sin”

I am quite frankly shocked. Does every Catholic fall under this same opinion???

 

[fbl9]

By this I assume you are referring to a man’s ejaculate? (excuse me I cannot think of a politer way of putting that). If so, then surely you mean “thousands upon thousands of wasted seeds”? And the “who” is not the issue here. It is the “what”. The term “seed” I can agree with, but not the term of “who”. Most people believe that human life does not begin until the point of conception (namely when the “seed” joins the egg). Therefore the seed is more of a “what” than a “who”

you are correct on this(seed) thanks for straightening this one out for me.

 

[fbl9]

You may well have realised by now that I am not a Catholic and the viewpoint that “Pornography and masturbation are grave matters that lead us into mortal sin” does not reflect in my own values, however I respect yours wholeheartedly, and wish that it wouldn’t affect you in such a disheartening way as though someone has just needlessly gone and killed someone or something. That would be a real mortal sin, and a real topic for such a critical debate.

?

What is forincation? What is adultry? An understanding of these will help in understanding how porn/mastrabation can be a mortal sin.