If you commit adultery against your marriage

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if I had a partner, which I did for many years, they would know I am keeping something from them by my face.
 
I just want to make clear my personal character… I could never have sex with someone while I was in a relationship, it just wouldn’t be possible for me to do it.
 
Cruciferi said:
Apparently, people are more likely to share their burden with a stranger and there are Private Investigators who can set you up. However, most of the time the individual confides in a supposed friend…

How to keep your affair a secret - Quora
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Actually here is an example of how the world treats adultery as affairs. And as Catholics we are supposed to be countering this way of thinking.
 
Sexual union within the sacrament of Holy Matrimony is a life giving gift and it should be seen as such, and the Church even goes as far as saying it should always have the purpose of bearing children. although I’m not sure how much it’s practiced in couples today… im not including myself as I am single.
 
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From the article: Rule #1 is keeping your trap shut!

I would counter that rule #1 is actually keeping your pants zipped/skirt on 😉
 
hergratefulchild said:
Sexual union within the sacrament of Holy Matrimony is a life giving gift and it should be seen as such, and the Church even goes as far as saying it should always have the purpose of bearing children. although I’m not sure how much it’s practiced in couples today… im not including myself as I am single.
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No argument from me on that.
 
The Catholic Church does teach: a truly contrite confession (not deliberately hiding any mortal sins) while intending to live in a state of grace, does forgive all one’s sins confessed.

The Catholic Church does not teach there is an obligation to tell a person other than the priest, one’s mortal sins, unless the confessor tells them,
 
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JanetF said:
I would counter that rule #1 is actually keeping your pants zipped/skirt on
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A very important point I want to make here as a celibate single male. Is that sex has to be seen as something between married couples who give their lives for each other with the intention of having children. As a man with natural desires we need to see that sex is not entertainment or something we do it is to be respected.
 
I’m not married obviously but I strongly believe that everything hidden will eventually come out. I think if my husbands cheats and not tell me…and I eventually find out… I don’t think I can handle being in the same room with him. Props to whoever that lives with this sort of hell.
 
Lea101 said:
I’m not married obviously but I strongly believe that everything hidden will eventually come out. I think if my husbands cheats and not tell me…and I eventually find out… I don’t think I can handle being in the same room with him. Props to whoever that lives with this sort of hell.
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There’s no argument that it would be painful to find out about a spouse’s affair. The point I’ve been trying to make is that in the case of the original thread, the woman stated that this just happened last weekend. She’s still dealing with it herself, I’m not sure that telling her husband AT THIS TIME, would be in the best interests of their relationship. If after consulting with her priest, receiving absolution via confession, and lots of prayer she decides to tell him, then hopefully by that time she will be doing it for the right reasons. If she decides that the best way for her to continue in her marriage is to not tell him, and she can be certain that he will not find out from someone else, then as an outsider to their relationship, I would be compelled to honor that decision.

Whole other ball of wax if there is a chance he will find out from someone else.
 
While I personally believe couples should discuss everything including something like this, the priest cannot require for absolution that the adulterous spouse tell the other spouse about their sin. That would be forcing the penitent to break the seal of confession. So an adulterous spouse can confess and gain absolution without telling the other spouse.

You and I can have an opinion that the spouse should tell the other spouse, but that doesn’t mean s/he’s required to do so. It’s just our opinion. Some people choose to run their marriages differently than you or I.

Edited to add, in some cases I believe people have posted that their priests even counseled them NOT to tell the other spouse because it might put the marriage in danger.
 
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hergratefulchild said:
I just want to make clear my personal character… I could never have sex with someone while I was in a relationship, it just wouldn’t be possible for me to do it.
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Yeah, that’s fine, but first of all, you said you aren’t married, so the truth is that you have no idea what kind of situation might arise or what you might do. Or for that matter what your partner might do.

Second of all, this doesn’t somehow make you more moral than somebody who succumbs to adulterous temptation. People have different temptations and if lust isn’t the big temptation for you, the Devil will find another one that is.

Third, I don’t really see how “your personal character” matters to this discussion unless you’re virtue signaling.
 
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Sorry, but I have to disagree with you.

Yes, it must be confessed to a priest.

The rest of what you said is just your opinion and speculation. Some priests, depending on the person, the circumstances and whatever other factors none of us are privy to, will tell the person confessing not to tell their spouse. Are we going to second guess our priests?

It may well be a one time thing, never to be repeated again. We don’t know that about other people and it’s none of our business.
 
It’s not lying. Look up the definition. Lying is giving false information. Saying nothing or not giving information is not lying, no matter how much you say it.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Yeah, that’s fine, but first of all, you said you aren’t married, so the truth is that you have no idea what kind of situation might arise or what you might do. Or for that matter what your partner might do.
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Actually I have lived with for several years and had a child with a woman I loved. I know a lot about how that may affect a relationship.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Third, I don’t really see how “your personal character” matters to this discussion unless you’re virtue signaling.
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I wouldn’t dream of virtue signalling. I wanted everyone to know why I think the way I do, that I know it can be quote full on.
 
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