I'm in a whole lot of pain right now - Fiancée working at PP

[lotusblossom]

So as you can see, it would appear that she certainly is not the one for me. I just had so many good times and loved her so much that I was willing to overlook many things that I did not like about her. Her quote was “my husband should love everything about me and support me always”. I personally thing this is the stuff out of fairy tales and that nobody loves EVERYTHING about their significant other. Needless to say I’m going to confession on Saturday and really look forward to receiving the Eucharist again.

I’m glad you were able to see this before it became too late. My own husband was in a relationship much like yours sounds emotionally. He dated a girl who he thought he was in love with and loved and would possibly end up marrying. She claimed to be Wiccan (although really had no religion), used and abused him - expecting HIM to compromise (which he did many, many times) and forgive (she cheated on him numerous times, broke up with him when he wasn’t willing to compromise, and then would come crying back to him telling him that she loved him too much to be apart). She also broke up with him on major days, not quite birthdays, but always before Valentine’s Day or Christmas or something it seemed.

When she broke up with him for the final time (he had decided), he was hurt, but felt a sense of relief because he knew that she was not good for him and he had compromised his own faith and morals way too much. I talked with him about two weeks after she broke up with him and he had resolved to date only solidly Catholic women. Little did he know that about one month later, he’d fall head-over-heels in love with me. She called him about a week after this and begged him to get back together with her, and was shocked when he said “no.” He found, after only a week, someone who respected him and loved him and shared his faith. As I’m sure you know in your head, the woman who you will spend the rest of your life with will not make YOU compromise, but compromises come in small things (and not regarding moral issues) and usually come from both sides. Plus, you will be able to love this woman and receive the love in return. No love is perfect, except for Christ’s love, but it’s also not a continuous struggle of good vs. evil when it comes to your spouse, esp. not during your dating and engagement phases.

Anyway, just know that even though it’s going to be tough for now, there are women out there who believe as you do and will not demand you to compromise your own faith and morals to meet theirs because you will see eye to eye on what’s important . All in God’s time .

 

[jmcrae]

I am curious…where does it state this?

Kathy

I don’t know. I learned it from my Bishop when he excommunicated a woman for working for Planned Parenthood. He found out about her when she was taking a Marriage Preparation class. She happened to mention during the class that she was working at Planned Parenthood, and the priest who was running the class went to the Bishop to see what to do - and he excommunicated her.

She then went to the papers to say, “Ooooh, baaaad Catholic Church!!” and all that, and then the Bishop wrote an article for the papers explaining that Catholics can’t be baby killers, and can’t work for organizations where they promote birth control and/or kill babies. Needless to say, her wedding was cancelled, there were many tears, and the family is withholding their donations to the Church. No big deal - conversions went up the following Easter, and the Bishop’s Fund received enough money that winter to build a new Church and bring in I think it was four new priests the very next summer.

 

[CNCIBC9]

Officially over. Pretty messy too as she didn’t seem willing to hold a civilized conversation. Very stressful and sorrowful situation altogether.

Thank you though for all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers. You’ll really never know how much a support group you were. God bless you all and you should all sleep well knowing that you’ve helped a troubled soul.

Chris

 

[MariaG]

Officially over. Pretty messy too as she didn’t seem willing to hold a civilized conversation. Very stressful and sorrowful situation altogether.

Thank you though for all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers. You’ll really never know how much a support group you were. God bless you all and you should all sleep well knowing that you’ve helped a troubled soul.

Chris

Hi Chris,

I am sorry to hear was so “messy”.

I will pray that God will heal your hurt and have you meet the woman whom He intends you to marry soon

God Bless,
Maria

 

[Sandi]

be glad this happened before the wedding, instead of after.

 

[dulcissima]

I’m sorry to hear what you have had to go through, but you can never go wrong by staying true to your faith. I’m convinced you did the right thing.

 

[Imagine23]

So I’ve been seeing this girl for 3+ years and engaged her over Christmas time. She isn’t a catholic but agreed to let our children be raised catholic. Earlier this week she was talking about all these externships she was going to be doing for her major (child development and family studies) and mentioned she was going to do one for Planned Parenthood. And that she might want to work there after graduation. I just said I’d be uncomfortable with that and it has escalated into what seems to be calling off the engagement. She said I was trying to run her life and that this was something she wasn’t going to compromise on. This is the love of my life and we haven’t really spoke in a couple of days. Please pray for me and my situation.

I just didnt want her to be involved in a group that sets people up for abortions, mostly. I’m adopted and the issue REALLY hits home for me. It’s my belief that once another life begins inside the woman, it isn’t a choice anymore, it’s a human being that deserves rights just like anyone else. Just thinking about myself and that if my birth mother would have taken the easy road out, I wouldn’t even be here is frightening and chilling to me. I think everyone should have a chance to live. She’s pro-choice and just doesn’t seem to understand my viewpoint. She herself says she doesn’t believe in abortion but that it’s not my right to judge and take that “right” away from her. I just can’t see raising children in a household without unified, steadfast value. I just love her so much that this is really really hard on me.

Like I said, please pray.

First, I don’t think Planned Parenthood is as bad as you think. My wife and I actually received contraceptives from them before we had money. They were very helpful. They don’t “set people up for abortions” as you state. Through the educated use of contraceptives, they actually prevent a lot of abortions.

I agree with your ex-Fiancee on abortion. I think it is a very undesirable event that should be avoided. Having an abortion is an extremely difficult event for a woman. I don’t think a woman who has had an abortion would tell you it was “the easy way out.”

 

[water]

First, I don’t think Planned Parenthood is as bad as you think. My wife and I actually received contraceptives from them before we had money. They were very helpful. They don’t “set people up for abortions” as you state. Through the educated use of contraceptives, they actually prevent a lot of abortions.

I agree with your ex-Fiancee on abortion. I think it is a very undesirable event that should be avoided. Having an abortion is an extremely difficult event for a woman. I don’t think a woman who has had an abortion would tell you it was “the easy way out.”

Are you Catholic or even Christian? I am sorry but this is a bad advice. Contraceptive is wrong and Planned Parenthood is not for Catholics nor any Christians …nor anybody.

 

[shadrach]

Officially over. Pretty messy too as she didn’t seem willing to hold a civilized conversation. Very stressful and sorrowful situation altogether.

As crazy as it sounds, it was messy for a reason. Now you can never truly look back and wonder what if, because now you know for sure that it would never have worked, and her true colors have shone through.

 

[LittleRose]

First, I don’t think Planned Parenthood is as bad as you think. My wife and I actually received contraceptives from them before we had money. They were very helpful. They don’t “set people up for abortions” as you state. Through the educated use of contraceptives, they actually prevent a lot of abortions.

I agree with your ex-Fiancee on abortion. I think it is a very undesirable event that should be avoided. Having an abortion is an extremely difficult event for a woman. I don’t think a woman who has had an abortion would tell you it was “the easy way out.”

PP is one of the biggest abortion providers in this country. And let’s not forget that a faithful Catholic, such as the OP, is not permitted to use artificial birth control.

Either way, we are talking about a fundamental difference between the values of the OP and his (now ex) fiancee. It will be much better for him if he marries a woman with whom he can fully share his faith and other core values. Marriage is too important to be entered into lightly with someone who does not share one’s most precious beliefs, as many other people on this thread have pointed out already.

 

[Imagine23]

Are you Catholic or even Christian? I am sorry but this is a bad advice. Contraceptive is wrong and Planned Parenthood is not for Catholics nor any Christians …nor anybody.

Contraceptives are not wrong. If we didn’t use them, I’d have a few dozen children by now. Kids are great, but I don’t make enough money to support 20 kids.

 

[Imagine23]

PP is one of the biggest abortion providers in this country. And let’s not forget that a faithful Catholic, such as the OP, is not permitted to use artificial birth control.

Either way, we are talking about a fundamental difference between the values of the OP and his (now ex) fiancee. It will be much better for him if he marries a woman with whom he can fully share his faith and other core values. Marriage is too important to be entered into lightly with someone who does not share one’s most precious beliefs, as many other people on this thread have pointed out already.

Clearly the two aren’t meant for each other. I don’t think he was expecting us to tell him anything different. He was just expressing his frustration.

A lot of Catholics use “artificial” birth control.

 

[water]

A lot of Catholics use “artificial” birth control.

Show the statistics and source please. I want to see it for myself.

 

[Imagine23]

Show the statistics and source please. I want to see it for myself.

94%. Time magazine. August 2005.

 

[jman507]

A lot of US citizens break the law. Imagine that! Citizens of a country, but do not follow it’s laws!

The Catholic Church does not have it’s principles that guide what is right or wrong made up by the masses. It doesn’t matter if 100% use ABC, as far as the set up of the Catholic Church 100% would be on the wrong side.

 

[porthos11]

Officially over. Pretty messy too as she didn’t seem willing to hold a civilized conversation. Very stressful and sorrowful situation altogether.

Thank you though for all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers. You’ll really never know how much a support group you were. God bless you all and you should all sleep well knowing that you’ve helped a troubled soul.

Chris

Given what you’ve been writing, you deserve much better. Someone right will come along for you. God bless and may he speed your healing.

 

[Gamera]

Officially over. Pretty messy too as she didn’t seem willing to hold a civilized conversation. Very stressful and sorrowful situation altogether.

Thank you though for all of your wonderful thoughts and prayers. You’ll really never know how much a support group you were. God bless you all and you should all sleep well knowing that you’ve helped a troubled soul.

Chris

God bless you, Chris. You made the right move. Sorry about the pain. I promise that it will pass. In the future, some good Catholic girl will be very impressed that you turned away Ms. Wrong to hold out for Ms. Right.

 

[decn2b]

Contraceptives are not wrong. If we didn’t use them, I’d have a few dozen children by now. Kids are great, but I don’t make enough money to support 20 kids.

Chances are you have procured an abortion of some of your potential 20 children. The math tells me that IF you would have a few dozen children the you would be married for around 25 years. Based on average of 12 monthly cycles per year you marriage has had around 300 potential fertility cycles. Oral contraceptives have a 3% abortifacient effect…meaning 3 out of ever 100 cycles the contraceptive actually aborted a child after conception. This is noted as one of the post-fertilization benfits of oral contraceptives by members of “the culture of death” Meaning in a nutshell if the pill failed to prevent ovulation it will succed in preventing pregnancy post fertilization by making the uterine enviornment hostile to the newly created human through chemical abortion. Now doing the math…during the course of 300 potential fertility cycles statistics tell us that the lives of 9 children have been snuffed out. That would be nearly half of the 20 children you say you couldn’t afford.

 

[raggakitten]

Contraceptives are not wrong. If we didn’t use them, I’d have a few dozen children by now. Kids are great, but I don’t make enough money to support 20 kids.

!!!

Oh myyyy!!! I must be falling into the Twilight Zone again!!!

twilight zone theme starts to play out of nowhere:bigyikes:
goear.com/listen.php?v=9323ebb

Now, seriously… I hope you don’t go around claiming to be a “devout” Catholic because that’d be MERE HYPOCRISY! And an AWFUL example of what a good Catholic should be!
I don’t wanna sound mean, but geez, people! Didn’t you know that Catholics can’t support abortion???
That’s what contraception is!

I think you should re-consider if this is really the religion you want to follow, because OBVIOUSLY you’re not in the same page with God…
You’re in time to CHANGE, to go to confession, to REPENT for all those murdered babies…
If you want to be a good Catholic, those are the 1st steps I think…

 

[rayne89]

Contraceptives are not wrong. If we didn’t use them, I’d have a few dozen children by now. Kids are great, but I don’t make enough money to support 20 kids.

Hmm… I’ve been married 16 years, we don’t use contraceptives and I have one child. Had no problem getting pregnant, in fact the first month we tried I got pregnant. Contraceptives are the worst posible choice for limiting family size when there is reason to do so. And if you Catholic it’s not a choice at all. NFP works, it’s scientific,it’s healthier for your body -and it is accepted by the church, when their is serious reason to avoid pregnancy.

What uninformed, misled or dissenting Catholics do is not a reflection of what the church teaches. We don’t decide what is morally right or wrong by popular opinion or statistics. Didn’t your mother ever say to you “Well if all your friends were jumping off a bridge would you do it too?”

I realize by your comment you problem have no real understanding what NFP is or how it works. You also probably don’t really know the church teaching on using contraceptives. I didn’t either, as a young adult. Artificial birth control is forbidden, using it to prevent pregnancy while knowing what the church teaches about it is a mortal sin. Any Catholic who uses it neads to refrain from recieving communion until they’ve stopped and been to confession.

Your opinion or the opinion of other Catholics who disregard the teaching doesn’t change the fact that is wrong.