I'm still breastfeeding my 2.5 year old - getting negative remarks

[LucyLight]

I respect the opinions that think it’s “strange” or “wierd” b/c before I had kids, I honestly felt the same way. Now I realize how wrong my opinion was. It was based on ignorance really…I just didn’t know any better.

Unfortunately, I was like that to before I had a child. I married and had my first young so maybe that was why . It was really eye opening though. I have so much more patience for children in general and I would bend over backwards to accomodate a breastfeeding mom. Like Obama I evolved .

 

[maryjk]

This is what makes it wrong. No man who respects his wife would EVER think of saying to his son ‘Do you want mommies boobie’.

If you can respectfully breastfeed a child… I don’t really know at what age they should be weened. But to be disrespectul of the process is just gross. If we want society to see breast as something God gave mothers to feed their children, then we should respect our bodies the way God wants us to.

I had a neighbour and her daughter’s would touch their chest and say ‘This is my boobie’ and the mom wouls say ‘Yes it is’. When the grandmother came over, the 2.5 year old ran up touch her breast and said ‘Granny, this is your boobie’. The mother was embarassed (as if she didn’t see it coming)

When that kid sat on my lap and touched me and said it to me, needless to say she got a swift clip on the hand

CM

I have to agree. I couldn’t imagine my husband referring to my breasts or to nursing as “boobie.” And to think that he is saying to his son, I find to be worse.

I am sorry, but I think it will only be a matter of time that the child in question will be yelling, “I want Mommy’s boobie” in a restaurant, church or other very public place.

As I woman, I would be mortified.

 

[EasterJoy]

I have to agree. I couldn’t imagine my husband referring to my breasts or to nursing as “boobie.” And to think that he is saying to his son, I find to be worse.

I am sorry, but I think it will only be a matter of time that the child in question will be yelling, “I want Mommy’s boobie” in a restaurant, church or other very public place.

As I woman, I would be mortified.

One also has to keep in mind that children generalize terminology. When a woman I know taught her child the correct medical terms, she was mortified when he pointed at every adult he saw for some time after that: Does that man have a p----? Does that lady have a v-----? Does that lady have a v-----?

If it isn’t going to be OK for our kids to use that name for the same body part on ladies generally or for the same activity generally, we might want to re-consider how we teach him to talk about it. This is IMHO, but I think that toddlers and young children are why euphemisms were invented!

 

[cmscms]

.

And it does not go without saying that anyone’s response to an innocent child who is not even my own, would get slapped for innocence.

I am not exactly sure what you mean by this. I feel totally justified in slapping anyone who touches me inappropriatly. At 2.5 kids should know better.

.I pray the thread can get back to the support of the poster with possible ideas on how to avoid negative comments instead of adding them.

God bless

And that was my intent. To help the OP be respected for her choices. It is just that how can others respect someone who does not respect themselves

CM

 

[MariaG]

One also has to keep in mind that children generalize terminology. When a woman I know taught her child the correct medical terms, she was mortified when he pointed at every adult he saw for some time after that: Does that man have a p----? Does that lady have a v-----? Does that lady have a v-----?

If it isn’t going to be OK for our kids to use that name for the same body part on ladies generally or for the same activity generally, we might want to re-consider how we teach him to talk about it. This is IMHO, but I think that toddlers and young children are why euphemisms were invented!

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

Secondly, it is proven that pedophiles outside the family choose children who do not use proper names or talk about body parts. Various reasons why. So even though I had to live though the embarrassing toddler talking at the top of his voice about his penis in Church, I would do the same again.

Nursing wasn’t a safety issue and I much prefer NOT naming body parts there! Lol

 

[cmscms]

I 100% disagree with everything you have written…respectfully

Fair enough. But… that is the whole point to this thread. I would love to be supportive of women who breastfeed. If we were friends and out together and you needed to take 15 minutes to feed you kid, I would want you to be able to. But… I sure don’t want to be seen around a 2.5 year old who uses the word boobie

CM

 

[cmscms]

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

First I want to say it is sad that justice could not be served because a kid didn’t know the term. But that is another post.

My mom taught me the real names. I will never forget I heard the slang terms on the street and when I said them in front of my mom, she told me in a serious but loving way what they were really called and God gave them to me and they were good although private. I honestly believe that was a real powerful positive experience and help me a lot in remaining chaste.

I understand kids will probably scream the real words out in public. I think that is when we say ‘shhh’ and later tell them in private not to use those words in public

CM

 

[MariaG]

I am not exactly sure what you mean by this. I feel totally justified in slapping anyone who touches me inappropriatly. At 2.5 kids should know better.

CM

What I am saying is that many people would not react to a toddler that way especially one who is not their own. If you had done that to my child who did that in all innocence, I would have slapped you back and kicked you out of my house.

The appropriate reaction would have been to remove the child’s hand and tell them yes it was your breast but it is your private parts and please don’t touch.

To say you feel justified slapping a child who “touched you inaapropriately” shows a complete lack of child development including when personal space and modesty kick in.

And that was my intent. To help the OP be respected for her choices. It is just that how can others respect someone who does not respect themselves

CM

While I did not choose to call it “boobie” I do not think that shows a person who does not respect themselves.

It does help the op see however by using euphemisms, she can avoid judgmental people wherever she meets them.

 

[Viki63]

Which word to use for breast, is possibly an age related issue. We shouldn’t get angry about different perspectives. I have noticed that younger women see nothing wrong with using the word “boob” for their breasts, though it makes me cringe. I see it as extremely vulgar and disrespectful, maybe coming out of the gangsta culture which denigrates women.
But I know many younger women don’t see it that way, they think it’s the correct word. So I try to keep quiet. But any children that I am responsible for will use the correct term around me, or hear about it.

 

[cmscms]

What I am saying is that many people would not react to a toddler that way especially one who is not their own. If you had done that to my child who did that in all innocence, I would have slapped you back and kicked you out of my house. .

The appropriate reaction would have been to remove the child’s hand and tell them yes it was your breast but it is your private parts and please don’t touch.

To say you feel justified slapping a child who “touched you inaapropriately” shows a complete lack of child development including when personal space and modesty kick in.
.

Well… I don’t want to get into a big argument but the appropriate response would be for a parent to discipline their child. If your kid did that to me and you did not discipline them and give me a massive heart felt apology, I wouldn’t ever got back to your house.

I never would have had to slap the kid if her mom was bringing her up correctly in the first place. I saw that mom teach her kid to touch herself and say the word.

CM

 

[Litcrit]

Again, the language and the culture here prove to be foreign to me.

In my native language, the two common words for “breasts” that we have are derived from the words “nurse” and “suck”. Because this is what these body parts are primarily for. And it is quite appropriate for kids to refer to them as such and demand them when they want to nurse.

I assumed “boobie” was just a child-friendly, easy word for “breast”.

It’s kind of sad that *new *words have to be invented for breasts when they’re used for their *primary *function (num-nums or whatever) just so no one gets weirded out.

 

[mini_me640]

I am not exactly sure what you mean by this. I feel totally justified in slapping anyone who touches me inappropriatly. ** At 2.5 kids should know better. **

And that was my intent. To help the OP be respected for her choices. It is just that how can others respect someone who does not respect themselves

CM

Do you know much about young children? At 2.5 kids don’t know much about anything let alone concepts of privacy… You could have simply told him not to touch and moved his hand rather than slapping the innocent child who didn’t know he was doing anything wrong.

 

[Serap]

I have to agree. I couldn’t imagine my husband referring to my breasts or to nursing as “boobie.” And to think that he is saying to his son, I find to be worse.

I am sorry, but I think it will only be a matter of time that the child in question will be yelling, “I want Mommy’s boobie” in a restaurant, church or other very public place.

As I woman, I would be mortified.

Not in my case. I cannot speak for other moms, but my son does not breastfeed at all during the day. He knows that it’s only before bed when we are alone in his bedroom.

He hasn’t asked to breastfeed, during the day, in over a year. He knows he won’t get it, so it’s a non-issue for us.

 

[Serap]

Fair enough. But… that is the whole point to this thread. I would love to be supportive of women who breastfeed. If we were friends and out together and you needed to take 15 minutes to feed you kid, I would want you to be able to. But… I sure don’t want to be seen around a 2.5 year old who uses the word boobie

CM

we don’t breastfeed outside the home. at that age, it’s not necessary to do it outside the home anymore. although, I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[Serap]

I taught my kids the proper names for body parts for safety reasons. First, a friend of mine’s child at age 3 was molested by her father(divorced) but since the child was only 3 and the term her mother taught her to use was “who ha” they were unable to prosecute and unable to prevent visitation since it had only been touching and no penetration. The prosecutor told her if her daughter had been able to correctly identify her body parts, it may have been different.

Secondly, it is proven that pedophiles outside the family choose children who do not use proper names or talk about body parts. Various reasons why. So even though I had to live though the embarrassing toddler talking at the top of his voice about his penis in Church, I would do the same again.

Nursing wasn’t a safety issue and I much prefer NOT naming body parts there! Lol

You and I appear to see “eye to eye”. My kids also call their body parts by name.

My daughter was 2 and we were out of diapers and we were leaving her swimming class. She was wearing a dress, so for modesty sake, I had my hand over her vagina as I was carrying her.

She yelled out, “MY VAGINA!!!”

I thought, “Good for her.” I wasn’t embarrassed by it either. She now knows (at age 4) not to say those things in public like that. They learn as they get a bit older. 2 is still very much a baby phase.

 

[Serap]

Well… I don’t want to get into a big argument but the appropriate response would be for a parent to discipline their child. If your kid did that to me and you did not discipline them and give me a massive heart felt apology, I wouldn’t ever got back to your house.

I never would have had to slap the kid if her mom was bringing her up correctly in the first place. I saw that mom teach her kid to touch herself and say the word.

CM

If my son were sitting on your lap and he touched your breast and said, “boobie”. I would tell him not to do that and that it is your private place. He would then stop touching you and if he didn’t, I would take him off our lap and firmly say, “That is xxx’s private place. You sit with mommy now. Say sorry to xxx.”

It’s all a learning process for a 2 year old. The word “discipline” means “to teach”. That is my approach.

 

[MariaG]

You and I appear to see “eye to eye”. My kids also call their body parts by name.

My daughter was 2 and we were out of diapers and we were leaving her swimming class. She was wearing a dress, so for modesty sake, I had my hand over her vagina as I was carrying her.

She yelled out, “MY VAGINA!!!”

I thought, “Good for her.” I wasn’t embarrassed by it either. She now knows (at age 4) not to say those things in public like that. They learn as they get a bit older. 2 is still very much a baby phase.

We do! What is amazing to me though is after incidents when toddlers yell out anatomically correct body part names people seem to think that shows the parent the error of teaching the child their body part names.

 

[maltmom]

Well I am becoming sorry I posted my experience on what we called nursing. My intent was simply to give new ideas since “mama” definitely sounds better to my ears at the top of a 2 year olds lungs in public than boobie. But that in no way was meant to criticize what others choose to call it or what words they consider it appropriate for their child to use.

I hope that those of you who found it useful will pass it on as I found it very useful myself.

And it does not go without saying that anyone’s response to an innocent child who is not even my own, would get slapped for innocence.

I pray the thread can get back to the support of the poster with possible ideas on how to avoid negative comments instead of adding them.

God bless

Don’t be sorry. It’s a wonderful idea. It’s one that I will share with others. I’m thankful I read this thread even though I couldn’t have children. I gained something useful for others.

 

[MariaG]

Don’t be sorry. It’s a wonderful idea. It’s one that I will share with others. I’m thankful I read this thread even though I couldn’t have children. I gained something useful for others.

 

[maryjk]

Not in my case. I cannot speak for other moms, but my son does not breastfeed at all during the day. He knows that it’s only before bed when we are alone in his bedroom.

He hasn’t asked to breastfeed, during the day, in over a year. He knows he won’t get it, so it’s a non-issue for us.

At this point it is better that I back out of the conversation.

I don’t know that I will ever understand why someone would be happy that their husband asks their son if he want’s Mommy’s boobie. It makes me cringe. It isn’t anywhere near the proper word for breast or even for what he wants, to nurse, in fact I find it derogatory.