Is it okay to ghost your parents?

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I called them phony Catholics
If your parents were validly Baptized in the Catholic Church or made an Adult Profession of Faith after valid baptism in a non-Catholic Christian Church, then they are Catholics. They will be Catholics for all eternity.

Unless you have been gifted as were rare priests with the gift of reading hearts, you have no way to know their hearts. You are coming across as anything but charitable.
 
I don’t exactly see what is so wrong with not wanting to be friends with people who claim to be Catholic or even good Catholics and live otherwise. He is not saying that he does not want to associate with flawed people: he does not want to associate with dishonest people.

Personally, I’d take a non-Catholic or a flawed Catholic that admits their failings and tries to do better over a cafeteria Catholic who sees no problem with their position any day of the week.
 
I don’t exactly see what is so wrong with not wanting to be friends with people who claim to be Catholic or even good Catholics and live otherwise.
It’s wrong when it’s done out of arrogance. I realize you aren’t getting the impression that he’s arrogant, but I am, and I’m not the only one.

Also, those who “live otherwise” may do so because they were poorly catechized. They may truly think they’re being good Catholics. They aren’t automatically doing it maliciously.
 
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I reached out to the guy in PM and he sounds nice enough to me. He was really hoping for people who have had similar experiences to share and commiserate and wasn’t expecting to strike a nerve on here. He could have worded it a lot better.

This happened to me fairly often when I first joined the forum. I would have an issue with my mom or people at school and went to the forum right after it happened for support because I had none in real life and would get crucified over things that could have been worded better. I would try to explain myself sometimes and it did not help. This is why I no longer post about my personal life on here; it usually hurts more than it helps.
 
I reached out to the guy in PM and he sounds nice enough to me. He was really hoping for people who have had similar experiences to share and commiserate and wasn’t expecting to strike a nerve on here. He could have worded it a lot better.

This happened to me fairly often when I first joined the forum. I would have an issue with my mom or people at school and went to the forum right after it happened for support because I had none in real life and would get crucified over things that could have been worded better. I would try to explain myself sometimes and it did not help. This is why I no longer post about my personal life on here; it usually hurts more than it helps.
All we can go by are his posts. Ghosting is about the most un-Christian way to treat someone, especially in the name of religion. But hey, you do you. Really, you have my sympathies about your mother. I know what it’s like to have abusive parents and I’ve got more scars than I can count. But nothing in any of his posts indicates anything that justifies ghosting. I really wish he would answer Annie’s question about how his parents treated him in other areas of life. I might have more sympathy if it turns out they were bad parents in most other aspects of parenting.
 
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Also, how would you react if the poster was a parent doing this to an adult child? Would you be defending them the way you are the OP?
 
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You can say that again!
He could have worded it a lot better
I felt very similar when I first returned to the Church, but even at that time, I did not think of cutting off my parents because they did not raise me Catholic!

And now that I am older… I see that the sins I committed and experiences I had, I might have done them anyway, or at least some of them, and I might have committed other sins; really, considering the absolutely huge number of children who are raised Catholic and who leave and commit the very same sins anyway, well, all I can say is that being raised Catholic does not necessarily inoculate the children against sin.

@Riman643 Next time, if you want some sympathy, talk more about your feelings and less about what made you feel that way 😉
 
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To be fair, it is not unheard of for parents distance themselves from adult children for a variety of reasons, such as the adult child living a really unhealthy or sinful lifestyle and the parents do not want them influencing the younger siblings still at home. We have had a lot of threads like that here over the years. I can get that. It depends on the reason.
 
I’m trying to point out that your experiences with your mother may be biasing your interpretation of this thread. That’s all I was trying to say.
 
I really wish he would answer Annie’s question about how his parents treated him in other areas of life.
What’s the point? You all have clearly made your minds up about me. It’s really kind of disheartening to see this reaction towards someone who is just reaching out to their community for support. I guess I will keep my questions on this forum strictly for apologetics and news.
 
Also, I’m unaware of the beatitudes. Could you inform me on what those are please?
Oh, dear.

Riman643, I memorized the Beatitudes when I was around 8 years old in a PROTESTANT church as part of my Sunday School class. We not only had to memorize them, but we had to understand them (at least as much as an 8 year-old can understand such deep concepts).

The fact that you don’t know what they are tells me that you have some learning to do about your Christian faith. I don’t think you know as much as you think you do, and if you make the decision to ghost your parents, you will be making a serious error in your Christian walk.

Here’s an idea that might help you–until you have read and studied the ENTIRE Bible and the ENTIRE Catechism of the Catholic Church–don’t hold anything against your parents.

Also, before you decide to do anything against your parents, wait until you are around 60 years old. If you are blessed to live that long (many people don’t these days), you will have experienced enough life to know the best way to treat your parents.

And think about this–Jesus’ Father sent Him to earth to become a lowly human being and to die a tortuous death on the cross while carrying ALL the sins of every human being so that they could have the gift of salvation made available to them. But Jesus loved His Father and obeyed Him, even though He knew that many human beings would reject His gift, or accept it but not understand it and fail to allow the Holy Spirit to help them become saints while on this earth.

Perhaps your parents are like those people who just don’t “get” Catholicism and Jesus’ sacrifice. Some people have experienced some bad things (things that you don’t know about because they kept it from you so as not to frighten or disillusion you), and these bad things make it difficult to understand just how much God love us and what He wants to do in our lives.

Ghosting your parents isn’t the answer. The answer is for you to honor your mother and father, as the Commandment says, and to work and struggle and pray and fight and forgive again and again so that you AND YOUR PARENTS will get to heaven and live with Jesus forever.

Don’t you want to help your parents get to heaven ? Just because they didn’t help you is not a reason to make a deliberate decision not to help them.
 
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What’s the point? You all have clearly made your minds up about me. It’s really kind of disheartening to see this reaction towards someone who is just reaching out to their community for support. I guess I will keep my questions on this forum strictly for apologetics and news.
Is there anything else to your story? You seem incredibly bitter over what is a pretty minor thing.
If you need space because your parents abused you or you just didn’t have a good relationship with them, then by all means, go get that space.
But saying you’re cutting your parents completely out of your life because you weren’t raised Catholic makes you seem like a pretentious jerk who needs some perspective.
 
I am not going to pounce on him for wanting to distance himself from them. The distance can possibly do both parties some good.
Ghosting someone is not the same as distancing from them. Ghosting means ignoring them, not taking calls or emails, not responding to invitations, ignoring them. It’s cruel thing that kids and young people do to online “friends” when they get tired of them.
 
Your attitude is not okay. Your parent changed their beliefs. That in and of itself does’t make them horrible people. Perhaps there is more to this story that you are not sharing but if all they ever did to you is not practice the faith they were raised in and have different political beliefs than you, then no, there is no justification to “ghost” them, which is a very immature and cowardly way to handle disagreements except in the most toxic and abusive of situations.
 
What’s the point? You all have clearly made your minds up about me. It’s really kind of disheartening to see this reaction towards someone who is just reaching out to their community for support. I guess I will keep my questions on this forum strictly for apologetics and news.
We are responding to what you’ve written, from one stranger online to another. There is nothing about our minds to make up, we don’t know you at all. We can only go by what you’ve said here.

Please, just think about how you feel now after having read this thread. I’m guessing angry, defensive and hurt. I’m also guessing that’s how your parents feel after encountering their son who has clearly made their mind up about them, when they have simply done what they believed to be best for their children. Of course you can disagree with that, I’m certain every child would disagree on some aspects of how they were raised. But you can’t take away the fact that they did what they thought was best at the time. You say you don’t believe any malice on their parts for raising you without religion so your feelings of betrayal and anger are yours to work through, not necessarily theirs to apologise for.

I know this isn’t what you want to hear. I hear you when you say you’re disheartened. Give it a few days away from this thread, then come back and see if you glean anything different.
 
I always thought the word ghosting meant you were seeing someone romantically and then suddenly stopping without explanation. This is why I think the original post was badly worded since almost no one uses ghost in the context.
 
As if the folks on here aren’t biased because they are parents or in any other way.

Anyway, I’ve talked with the guy and he does not seem to be the jerk everyone else is making him out to be. Maybe if he had a ton of threads like this, I can conclude that. But I like giving people the benefit of the doubt and believe they were writing in an emotional tense moment or too fast to really articulate it in a good way.
 
I’ve seen the term used in all sorts of context. Basically it’s, “I no longer have a use for you, but I’m too much of a coward to have an uncomfortable conversation, so I’ll just refuse to respond to any communication and let you figure it out.” One of the more distasteful lack in millennial social skills, in my opinion. People break up romantic relationships this way, but they also do this to former friends who didn’t really do anything wrong except suddenly seem “annoying”. They even quit jobs this way, causing as much damage as they can upon their departure. It’s gross. I don’t think the OP is “badly wording” his intentions. I think if he was, he’d have said so by this point. Distancing and drawing boundaries from toxic people is not the same thing as ghosting, and the OP has not indicated that his parents have done anything toxic and are actually going far above and beyond to support this man-child.
 
As if the folks on here aren’t biased because they are parents or in any other way.
Well, like I said, I’ve grown up with truly psychologically abusive, narcissistic parents. But I’m not interpreting things the way you are. And I really would like to read how you would respond if the OP were the parent in the situation and the parents were the child.
 
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