Jokes/Puns you would like to share

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world; those who understand binary code, and those who don’t.
 
I tried that thing where you rub something woollen on a balloon and it sticks to the ceiling? It actually works, it was three hours before the sheep fell down.

(This isn’t a joke by the way.)
 
Usually, I find they come down when they get hungry. You can keep a rubbed sheep on the ceiling almost indefinitely if you plant grass on the ceiling.
 
(Told by a priest.)

If a man-eating lion enters the Sanctuary during Mass, are the altar girls safe?
 
two men were sitting in a bar
one turns to the other and said, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 5 years”
the other asks, “why not”
the first says, “i don’t want to interrupt her!”
 
Neo-Modernist Celebrant: The Lord IS with you!

Catholic Answers Staff: (Then we’re facing the wrong direction.)
 
There are three kinds of people in the world.

Those who can do math, and those who can’t.
 
There are two kinds of people in this world:

Those who divide people into two kinds of people, and those who dont.

I belong to the latter group.
 
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce “unionized.”
 
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
 
I tried telling someone that. The searched the iTunes store, but couldn’t find it listed.
 
A dad was getting his little girl a birthday present.

The kid working at the toy store said they had Doctor Barbie for $7.99, Professor Barbie for $7.99, and Divorce Barbie for $79.99.

The Dad asked why Divorce Barbie was so much more.

The kid said it was because Divorce Barbie came with Ken’s house, Ken’s Porsche, Ken’s speedboat and…
 
How is an East Texas divorce like a tornado?

Either way, somebody’s going to lose a trailer.
 
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