Kissing on the lips during the sign of peace

[RoseMary131]

My family members always exchanged a kiss at the Sign of Peace, and shook the hands of those near us. It’s just how I was raised.

I will continue to give my son a quick kiss at the Sign of Peace, and my parents, if they happen to be with us. No one has ever objected, and I see no compelling reason to change now. And I would never dream of hurting my parents’ feelings by declining a kiss.

 

[Bookcat]

Nowhere does this state one can not show the sign of peace with a kiss.

Never said it did.

It is though not intended as a sign of family or spousal affection.

What is IS the meaning of the RITE?

“the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament”

 

[RoseMary131]

As long as it isn’t a french kiss or a type of kiss meant for the bedroom or a hotel room, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Sometimes we Catholics take ourselves too seriously. In this case, I see no problem with it.

 

[Bookcat]

Nowhere does this state one can not show the sign of peace with a kiss. This clearly states that it is a manner to be established (or eliminated, if an offensive practice is present) by the Conference of Bishops, in accordance with the cultural norms of the people. This is very intentionally left open ended and up to the Bishop’s discretion.

Nowhere does this state one can not show the sign of peace with a kiss.

Never said it did.

It is though not intended as a sign of family or spousal affection.

What is IS the meaning of the RITE?

“the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament”

(I have seen European Monks kiss each other’s cheeks…I am not ruling out a liturgical kiss)

 

[RoseMary131]

Nowhere does this state one can not show the sign of peace with a kiss. This clearly states that it is a manner to be established (or eliminated, if an offensive practice is present) by the Conference of Bishops, in accordance with the cultural norms of the people. This is very intentionally left open ended and up to the Bishop’s discretion. Your interpretation is very aligned with your cultural norm, but not everyone else’s.

Further, the frequent reminder of a “sober manner” is so deeply subjective as well. To be sober about something means to be marked by the seriousness, gravity and solemnity of the celebration. Who is to say that a kiss can not be sober?

 

[babochka]

I refer readers also to the Catholic Answers Apologist links above for longer discussion:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=300671&highlight=kiss+of+peace

“The sign of peace is not intended to be a time for engaging in public displays of affection, however chastely those PDAs may be exchanged.” is noted in that link from CA staff.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=11403196&postcount=5

Certainly, this is interesting reading and a valid opinion, but it is simply an opinion and has no more authority than my own. I believe it would be a very good thing if we had a more ritualistic sign of peace, such as that present in the Oriental churches, or even eliminate it all together. Since the church has not given us such, I will continue as I always have. I’m certainly not going to shake my husband’s hand. Rather than a sign of peace, that would indicate an uncomfortable tension between us.

 

[Phemie]

So the general consensus seems to be “I don’t care what the Church says, I’ll do what I want.”

 

[Bookcat]

Certainly, this is interesting reading and a valid opinion, but it is simply an opinion and has no more authority than my own. I believe it would be a very good thing if we had a more ritualistic sign of peace, such as that present in the Oriental churches, or even eliminate it all together. Since the church has not given us such, I will continue as I always have. I’m certainly not going to shake my husband’s hand. Rather than a sign of peace, that would indicate an uncomfortable tension between us.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=11403741&postcount=52

My wife and I discontinued a kiss upon research of the matter. But we do not choose the “hand shake” either -for where I am that is not the only option.

 

[Bookcat]

It is though not intended as a sign of family or spousal affection.

What is IS the meaning of the RITE?

“the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament”

(I have seen European Monks kiss each other’s cheeks…I am not ruling out a liturgical kiss)

 

[RoseMary131]

“the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament”

Spouses may want to express this with a kiss or parents to children with a kiss.

My best way to offer mutual charity (love) (peace) within my family is with a kiss.

Have I offended my husband or child, let me make peace with them before receiving communion… let me offer them a kiss. Am I already at peace with them, let me offer them a kiss of mutual love.

**If **I were to hear the USCCB has stated that there shall be no exchange of kiss during the sign of peace that would be a different story. I’m sure the priest and bishops would make this known to everyone. However, it is not the current statement.

 

[Bookcat]

It is though not intended as a sign of family or spousal affection.

What is IS the meaning of the RITE?

“the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament”

(I have seen European Monks kiss each other’s cheeks…I am not ruling out a liturgical kiss)

 

[RoseMary131]

My wife and I discontinued a kiss upon research of the matter. But we do not choose the “hand shake” either -for where I am that is not the only option.

You and your wife discontinued offering each other a kiss during the sign of peace after researching it.

If it must be researched in order to conclude this, it suggest that the priests are not teaching that there should be no exchange of a kiss as a sign of peace.

You accept your research. Others accept their choice to offer a kiss, possibly based on not hearing “there will be no exchange of kiss”.

You do not shake hands either. What form of offering a sign of peace have you chosen?

 

[RoseMary131]

So the general consensus seems to be “I don’t care what the Church says, I’ll do what I want.”

I think the Church has not made an exact statement describing the exact manner in which the sign of peace is exchanged.

Individuals are interpreting it to mean 1) kiss, 2) no kiss, 3) etc.

**None of the posts on this thread **seem to say “I don’t care what the Church says, I’ll do what I want.”

Some people seem to say “I don’t care what your interpretation is, my interpretation is this.”

 

[OraLabora]

The classic sign of peace in the old High Mass is a kiss on each cheek.

That’s how I exchange the sign of peace with my wife.

God Bless

Still done that way by the monks in the Benedictine monastery I’m associated with. It’s an OF Mass in Gregorian chant.

At that it seems would make it okay. My marriage is sacramental, and I will continue to kiss my bride at each mass we attend in the unity as a married couple…if this is our biggest problem over piety and reverence, we are in pretty good shape!

I agree. I think folks here are being too scrupulous about this. It’s not as if it’s a lewd kiss. I have a few good reasons for kissing my wife. One, our marriage went through a very bad period and with the help of a kind Benedictine monk we reconciled. I am grateful for this, and I am grateful when my wife is present with me at Mass. She’s Protestant, so she’s not with me at every Mass; when she is, it’s special because she used to be very anti-Catholic and now she isn’t (and she absolutely loves Pope Francis BTW), something that happened in the reconciliation process.

Secondly, well, yes, there is a hierarchy. If the kiss of peace is a moment of reconciliation with our neighbours, then kissing my wife is particularly meaningful in view of our own reconciliation. Our other pew neighbours are not our spouses; we don’t enjoy the same degree of relationship. When I greet my wife in public, I won’t greet her the same way I greet, say, a colleague in public.

Third, in an era of easy divorce, it’s important to underline marital unity. At the monastery church where I go to Mass, they receive many outside visitors and spiritual seekers. Many of us married couples kiss during the sign of the peace. I think this is a good thing and sends a positive message concerning marriage. There is an elderly couple that usually sits close by. The level of solicitude and affection they show for each other (and yes they kiss at the sign of the peace) is inspirational to me. They both have advancing infirmities and are pushing 80, but they help each other along. There is nothing wrong, IMHO with a public display of modest affection.

At 55 and 25 years of marriage, certainly nobody on this forum is going to convince me to not kiss my wife during the sign of the peace. Perhaps if the abbot were to ask me to stop… but knowing the community (very orthodox BTW), I rather doubt this will happen.

Truly, liturgically, there are much bigger fish to fry than this.

 

[Bookcat]

You and your wife discontinued offering each other a kiss during the sign of peace after researching it.

If it must be researched in order to conclude this, it suggest that the priests are not teaching that there should be no exchange of a kiss as a sign of peace.

Hum. That also suggests that – “gee there may be something to look into” for it is not always discussed --not everything is always discussed everywhere at all times.

We had been recently married so it was what?

A new question we had not paid attend to prior.

New vocation --new questions.

One does not always pay attention to various things until one is in the situation.

Same with having Children – new questions came up when they came too.

 

[Bookcat]

GENERAL INSTRUCTION OF THE ROMAN MISSAL

"The Rite of Peace

1. The Rite of Peace follows, by which the Church asks for peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.

As for the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner."

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccdds/documents/rc_con_ccdds_doc_20030317_ordinamento-messale_en.html

Such is the tall and short of it.

 

[malphono]

(I have seen European Monks kiss each other’s cheeks…I am not ruling out a liturgical kiss)

This is the traditional way in the Latin Church, and that from which the “ritual kiss” still seen among the ministers at Solemn Mass in the Usus Antiquior derives. It’s lovely and nicely corresponds to the Oriental practice, and it would be wonderful if the practice extended to the congregation as a whole, as it does in the Oriental Churches. But it doesn’t.

The fact is that the Novus Ordo rubrics are non-specific except to say “sober” but even that itself is non-specific. And unfortunately, the rubrics or specification for a “ritual kiss” simply do not exist in the Novus Ordo. If it did, this thread wouldn’t exist, would it?

 

[RoseMary131]

Hum. That also suggests that – “gee there may be something to look into” for it is not always discussed --not everything is always discussed everywhere at all times.

The congregation is not expect to research “how to attend Mass”. I will trust my priests to let us know if we are to change how to participate in Mass.

We had been recently married so it was what?

A new question we had not paid attend to prior.

New vocation --new questions.

One does not always pay attention to various things until one is in the situation.

Same with having Children – new questions came up when they came too.

Did you discuss this during marriage prep or with your priest after the wedding? Did you discuss this during baptismal classes?

 

[OraLabora]

Hum. That also suggests that – “gee there may be something to look into” for it is not always discussed --not everything is always discussed everywhere at all times.

We had been recently married so it was what?

A new question we had not paid attend to prior.

New vocation --new questions.

One does not always pay attention to various things until one is in the situation.

Same with having Children – new questions came up when they came too.

So that’s the interpretation you came up with after looking into it.

I interpreted “in a sober manner” differently. Until the CCCB, or our abbot, or the missal says explicitly “no kissing”, I’ll continue with my interpretation and you’re free to continue with yours. It’s called “prudential judgment” and neither of us are in a position to impose our views on the other.

I’ve explained mine, others have explained theirs, and you’ve explained yours, so for me, that’s the end of the arguing.

 

[RoseMary131]

The fact is that the Novus Ordo rubrics are non-specific except to say **“sober” **but even that itself is non-specific. And unfortunately, the rubrics or specification for a “ritual kiss” simply do not exist in the Novus Ordo. If it did, this thread wouldn’t exist, would it?

Correct, this thread is made up of “opinion” and “interpretation” of the individual posters.