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mark_a
Guest
How do your families feel about this arrangement?
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RgtAct
Guest
Maybe I am thick headed. Where does it say living together is a sin. I respect all the (name removed by moderator)ut that I am getting, it just doesn’t make sense that if you trully find the one person you know God has put in your life to give you meaning that God and only God has the right to know if we are making the right decision.
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La_Chiara
Guest
Maybe.
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mrconrail
Guest
Why?
Why do you want to live together outside of marriage?
one of the reasons that often is answered is financial. If this is a reason then one needs to look at what Jesus says in the story of the rich fool. The answer is to trust God with your finances. just as we are to trust God with the size of our family, food on our table and shelter.
I don’t think that you would tell a recovering alcoholic to go into a club alone and sit at the bar just so he can have a Coke. While he may be able to do this, why would he want to run the risk of falling back where he came from.
Even if you intend to remain chase while living together, Why put yourself in a situation that could cause you to commit a mortal sin and then run the risk of getting in your car and, God forbid, you got killed. their is a huge change that when you are in mortal sin and die without a true change of heart you go to Hell. WHY put yourself in that danger?? Hell is forever. waiting until you get married is only a short period of time in comparison.
Where does Jesus tell us not to live together? How about the Lords prayer. “…lead us not into temptation…” While God will help us if we ask, we also have to do our part as not to put God to the test.
Why do you want to live together outside of marriage?
one of the reasons that often is answered is financial. If this is a reason then one needs to look at what Jesus says in the story of the rich fool. The answer is to trust God with your finances. just as we are to trust God with the size of our family, food on our table and shelter.
I don’t think that you would tell a recovering alcoholic to go into a club alone and sit at the bar just so he can have a Coke. While he may be able to do this, why would he want to run the risk of falling back where he came from.
Even if you intend to remain chase while living together, Why put yourself in a situation that could cause you to commit a mortal sin and then run the risk of getting in your car and, God forbid, you got killed. their is a huge change that when you are in mortal sin and die without a true change of heart you go to Hell. WHY put yourself in that danger?? Hell is forever. waiting until you get married is only a short period of time in comparison.
Where does Jesus tell us not to live together? How about the Lords prayer. “…lead us not into temptation…” While God will help us if we ask, we also have to do our part as not to put God to the test.
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Steve_Andersen
Guest
mark a:
she is after all the one who brought me back to Chirch
Oh they love her.
she is after all the one who brought me back to Chirch
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mercygate
Guest
“Living together” is usually a euphemism for fornication. This is not a pretty word and it may seem harsh, but it is not. It is straightforward and honest. Here is what the *Catechism of the Catholic Church *says:
Not really. Once we are publically professed Christians, everything we do affects our communion with God and with his people. In that sense, nothing we do is “private” because in the Communion of Saints, our lives are no longer our own. They belong to Christ, and to the Church, which is his Body on earth. At Confirmation, we Catholics freely covenant ourselves to God in his Church and publicly proclaim that we “believe and profess all that the Catholic Church believes and teaches.” We receive all the privileges of Communion and become fully responsible, as adults, for fulfilling our obligations to God and to his Church to the best of our ability (and that is NOT a loophole).
Chastity in our state of life is one of the privileges and obligations that we embrace as Catholics.
C’mon, RgtAct! We Catholics are the MARINES of Christendom! We’re not just weenies out to see how much we can get away with.
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mercygate
Guest
Yo! RgtAct! It’s not too late to straighten up and fly right. That’s what GRACE is for! Think: if your fiancee did not have doubts about your living arrangement, why did she ask the priest? I can almost guarantee that she will swoon with pride in you when you give her the news that you’re re-setting the clock.
Are you and your fiance to the point yet of working on Natural Family Planning?
I enthusiastically encourage you to step up to the plate on this one. You will reap great rewards in your marriage by following Catholic teaching on marriage. (My husband and I were graced to figure this out years before we ever came into the Church!) The teaching on marriage is one the most wonderful (WONDERFUL!) teachings of the Church.
Are you and your fiance to the point yet of working on Natural Family Planning?
I enthusiastically encourage you to step up to the plate on this one. You will reap great rewards in your marriage by following Catholic teaching on marriage. (My husband and I were graced to figure this out years before we ever came into the Church!) The teaching on marriage is one the most wonderful (WONDERFUL!) teachings of the Church.
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TarAshly
Guest
ok all of your who are saying this is wrong… how many of you never lived or even spent the night with your spouse before you were married! HONESTLY? how many of your were COMPLETELY chaste on your wedding night? i just want a quick poll thats all.
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montanaman
Guest
Whether anyone did it isn’t the question. The question is whether living together before marriage is sinful or a near occasion of sin. It doesn’t matter if 100% of Catholics think it’s fine. If 100% of people think reality is just a complex computer simulation, does that make it so?
(My apologies to people who think The Matrix was a documentary…)
(My apologies to people who think The Matrix was a documentary…)
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Catholic4aReasn
Guest
Hi TarAshly!
It’s perfectly logical for adults to come to understand that things they may have done when they were younger were wrong. I lived with my husband before we were married, but then again I wasn’t a Christian. Now, 12 years later, I’m an entirely different person and I know that what I did was wrong. If I had it to do over I never would have lived with my husband. It makes me sad to know that I did something that offended God. And it can never be undone. You have an opportunity to get out of a situation that offends God, even if it’s only for a short time. The question then becomes, how important is it to you not to knowingly offend God?
In Christ,
Nancy
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Joan_M
Guest
No, you don’t want a poll. You just want us to stop telling you that what you are doing is wrong.
Do you mean that we can only say that living together is a sin if we have never committed any sexual sin? Do you think that if we did commit sexual sin and we are still telling you that living together without being married is sinful that we are hypocrits? :tsktsk:
Some of us may have been unchaste prior to marriage. That means that we have learned the hard way that what we did was very wrong, and want you to learn from our mistakes and not be to foolish to listen to others.
Don’t be too proud to admit that you have done wrong. There is no good reason for living together without being married. :nope:
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arso347
Guest
Not that it matters in this discussion, but I can honestly say that my wife and I did not live together before marriage, and remained entirely chaste. I am only 23, and have been married for a year and a half. We never spent the night alone together before marriage. I know every situation is different, but it’s not that hard if you’re set in your convictions.
There are tons of young people out there like us who feel very strongly about this. There is not a single married couple in my family, on either side, that shacked up before marriage. There are no couples in my close circle of friends that shacked up before marriage. A person’s perception of what’s common and normal depends on the company they keep.
I am not trying to toot my own horn here, I have my own share of sins, and I am very ashamed of those. However, as a society, we should not be so approving of public sin.
We are not to rub people’s noses in it, but sin is sin; we should not pretend its ok because it seems that “everyone’s doing it”.
TarAshly, I hope your wedding day is wonderful, and your marriage helps you both progress in holiness. That is what marriage is for, and God knows we all need it.
May God bless you all.
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jimmy
Guest
TarAshly,
Its not that you’ve done it once in your life. The problem is that you are doing it everyday and you have no care to quit. An ongoing sin is different than someone falling once or twice.
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Gerry_Hunter
Guest
Time for a bit of logic here, specifically, information on logical fallacies:
Attacking the Person ( argumentum ad hominem )
Definition: The person presenting an argument is attacked instead of the argument itself. This takes many forms. For example, the person’s character, nationality or religion may be attacked. Alternatively, it may be pointed out that a person stands to gain from a favourable outcome. Or, finally, a person may be attacked by association, or by the company he keeps.
There are three major forms of Attacking the Person:
…
(3) ad hominem (tu quoque): this form of attack on the person notes that a person does not practise what he preaches.
…
Examples:
(iv) You say I shouldn’t drink, but you haven’t been sober for more than a year. (ad hominem tu quoque)
Proof: Identify the attack and show that the character or circumstances of the person has nothing to do with the truth or falsity of the proposition being defended.
Since St. Paul tells us quite clearly that all have sinned, this type of argument is particularly inappropriate where sin and morality are involved. :tsktsk:
Blessings,
Gerry
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mercygate
Guest
If ONLY those who had done it right the first time were encouraging you to chastity, how credible would that be? Is it not more credible when someone who screwed up witnesses that he would have done better had he not stumbled?
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renee1258
Guest
Instead of living together before marriage, why not just get married sooner? Pre-marital sex is a sin, because you disobeyd the Lord. I’ll plead the fifth, since this isn’t the confessional. But my problem was that I didn’t getting married sooner. There is a lot of secular pressure not to get married too young, because a young couple can’t afford to live. But secular society also has a skewed view, of living. Such as owning a new car, owning a condo, having furniture not eating off the floor or not having a full size bed…
I have fond memories coming home to our apartment on our wedding night to a futon with no frame.
I have fond memories coming home to our apartment on our wedding night to a futon with no frame.
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TarAshly
Guest
our first two weeks in our apartment we had two lawn chairs and a milk crate. we ate and slept on the living room floor! we’ve done a lot better since then! Thank God!
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Kaily
Guest
#1 Spiritual work of Mercy
Admonish the sinner
yes we are to LOVE them and guiding them out of sin IS loving them. Yes we are to keep our sins before our eyes but if you see someone walking off a cliff would you call it love to just watch them walk off that cliff instead of warning them? Some people don’t know what judging is, judging is saying someone is going to hell or saying someone is evil, etc… but it is not lovingly guiding someone to repentance.
God Bless
Admonish the sinner
yes we are to LOVE them and guiding them out of sin IS loving them. Yes we are to keep our sins before our eyes but if you see someone walking off a cliff would you call it love to just watch them walk off that cliff instead of warning them? Some people don’t know what judging is, judging is saying someone is going to hell or saying someone is evil, etc… but it is not lovingly guiding someone to repentance.
God Bless
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bear06
Guest
She’s only being married in 2-3 weeks if I remember correctly. I asked her if she asked her mom if she could sleep on the couch for a few weeks. Her sister lives there but I find it hard to believe that they couldn’t put up with her for a few weeks. I also suggested that she ask her deacon if he knew of anywhere she could stay. I also suggested that she look for a room, not an apartment. She never responded to any of these suggestions.
My husband and I teach marriage prep (as they call it out here) and we always offer people a room if they want to separate. I can think of several people right off the top of my head that would be willing to do this for such a worthwhile cause. I’m sure there are some people in her church who would do this too. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I just don’t htink the will is there.
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mark_a
Guest
Steve Andersen:
I’m glad your family loves her. That’s a huge hurdle. But what do your families think of your living arrangements?
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