True. But even in situations like this where the parents are as aware as they can be (lets face it, even the most involved parent can’t know all the time with certainty what goes on in their kids heads since God didn’t grant us telepathy), kids still fall away from the faith. We’ve seen examples of it in this exact thread with presumably involved and faithful parents whose kids left the RCC or Christianity entirely.
Heck even if you know with full certainty that your preteen or teen no longer believes, there’s only so much you can do. Yes you can try to lead by example, try to explain to them the reasons they should believe and why its important they do so, ensure they speak to a priest/minister, ensure they get to mass and religious education, etc… etc… But in the end its still their mind and their soul. You can only try to shape it and influence them so far and for so long. Eventually the decision on whether to believe will eventually fall to them. It’s not just a neglectful or less involved parent that may eventually face a kid who doesn’t believe be it openly or otherwise covered by playacting.
I don’t disagree there. Free will is a thing.
But I think in more cases than we think, ignorance is a major factor. I run into lapsed Catholics frequently who don’t have any idea at all about what Church teaching is, but they think they do because they went to CCD or Catholic school until 8th grade. Parents should educate themselves about the faith, they should educate their children, but most importantly of all, they should love and continue to maintain loving, nurturing relationships with their children. A lot of parents don’t do this, especially today. They put their kids off on peers way too young, and then the kids look to the peers as the moral authority, instead of the parents.
If I had a child who honestly went through all the arguments, combed through philosophy and theology, attended Mass and participated in our family prayer life, and revealed to me that despite everything he didn’t believe and didn’t feel like he could practice, I would be devastated, sure. I would probably say, “Well, practice it on faith, if not for yourself, for me, to give it a shot until you leave, because I do think it’s good for you even if you don’t see it now,” but I’d respect his ability to make up his own mind once he left home.
That said, I’d venture that at least 9 times out of 10 it’s a kid who would rather sleep in than go to Mass, and then the other stuff comes in as an afterthought. I remember being a teen. I remember teaching teens too. That’s how most teens think.
