Mass Bloopers

  • Thread starter Thread starter GemmaRose
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Does anyone remember “streakers” anymore?

An elderly priest was delivering a sermon, when a young teenager went “streaking” across the front of the congregation in his birthday suit.

The elderly priest looks up and says: "Young man, young man. In this church we walk. We don’t run! "
 
wynnejj said:
Does anyone remember “streakers” anymore?

An elderly priest was delivering a sermon, when a young teenager went “streaking” across the front of the congregation in his birthday suit.

The elderly priest looks up and says: "Young man, young man. In this church we walk. We don’t run! "
Click to expand...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Way to diffuse a bad situation!!
 
In the homily yesterday one of our priests was speaking about Lourdes.

He reffered to the crowd there as “the great thong of humanity.”

He meant “throng,” of course. I thought I was going to pass out trying not to giggle, and I was not alone!

*Stella
 
One time, the altar boy dropped the insense during Easter mass. We have carpet on our altar, and it caught on fire. Luckilly the priest was able to put it out with the Holy Water.
 
Lector bloopers

Letter from St. Paul to Phillipines

Letter from St. Paul to the Fallopians.

In a reading from OT involving a "burning brazier,’ lector said
“burning brassiere.” Feminist Bible, I guess!
 
Our Good Friday service ended with a cell phone ringing as loud as it could while the closing “in the name of the father, the son…” was being said. We then saw Father _____ take the cell phone out of his own pocket and say, “I thought I turned this thing off!”

haha!
 
Back on the Memorial for St Scholastica, the priest saying Mass began

“In the name of the Father…The Lord be with you…”

Then he began to explain who st. Scholastica was and why we celebrate her life. An older priest, he discussed this a wee too long and when he finished he continued

“and so we gather in the name of the Father…The Lord be with you”

He seemed not to notice, but those of us in the pews sure did, and I bet he had a good laugh afterwards if anyone mentioned it.
 
I remember a reader last year:
“A reading from the letter of St Paul to ther Galileans” instead of Galations

I Made a blooper serving at Mass tonight. I brought the corporal and ciborium to the priest then the water and wine, but I forgot the chalice :eek: How could I forget that 😊
 
A few months ago our pastor took a month off to return to his native Ireland, so we had a substitute priest - a retired priest who is about 80 years old. After communion, he returned to his seat while the servers cleared the altar. After the servers returned to their seats, the congregation waited for Father to rise to offer the closing prayers…and waited and waited and waited. After about three minutes a soft murmur could be heard in the congregation, and as time passed the murmur became louder and the atmosphere more and more uncomfortable. Father was wearing one of those clip on microphones, and soon his snoring could be heard echoing throughout the church. Finally, one of the servers (a girl of about 14) softly elbowed him in the side. Nothing. Another elbow in the side. Again, nothing. Finally, out of desperation, the server said, in a stage whisper that could be heard in the back row, “Father, wake up.” In one fluid motion he jumped to his feet and proclaimed loudly, “We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty…”
 
rick43235 said:
A few months ago our pastor took a month off to return to his native Ireland, so we had a substitute priest - a retired priest who is about 80 years old. After communion, he returned to his seat while the servers cleared the altar. After the servers returned to their seats, the congregation waited for Father to rise to offer the closing prayers…and waited and waited and waited. After about three minutes a soft murmur could be heard in the congregation, and as time passed the murmur became louder and the atmosphere more and more uncomfortable. Father was wearing one of those clip on microphones, and soon his snoring could be heard echoing throughout the church. Finally, one of the servers (a girl of about 14) softly elbowed him in the side. Nothing. Another elbow in the side. Again, nothing. Finally, out of desperation, the server said, in a stage whisper that could be heard in the back row, “Father, wake up.” In one fluid motion he jumped to his feet and proclaimed loudly, “We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty…”
Click to expand...
Hillarious! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
 
On Easter Sunday, our Monsignor had gone to the Baptismal Font to renew our vows, when he realized he had forgotten his glasses back at the priest’s chair (don’t remember the official name off the top of my head) and has to rush back to the other side of the altar. He recovered admirably, turning it into a sort of off-the-cuff mini-homily on how we all need help to see God’s Word 🙂
 
FrCorey said:
or how about during high mass when the bishop celebrating lets one rip so bad that all the priests
around him start to fan thier robes to try to clear the air. and the bishop doesn’t even flinch.
Click to expand...
Rofl. That’s so gross. 😃
 
  1. Context: Our priest doesn’t have a good chanting voice, and he knows it, but tries. Our deacon has a truly painful chanting/singing voice, and he knows it, and tries once in a while (and Father always laughs or gives him a look or whispers something to him).
A few weeks ago at Sunday Mass:
Deacon, chanting: The Mass is ended, go in peace!
Congregation, chanting: Thanks be to God.
Priest, into the mic: There will be singing lessons after Mass. (laughter)

Easter Sunday Choir Mass:
Deacon, chanting: The Mass is ended, go in peace, Alleluia, Alleluia!
Congregation, chanting: Thanks be to God, Alleluia, Alleluia!
Priest, into the mic: There will be singing lessons after Mass.
Deacon, into the mic: Will you join me, Father?
(Father nods, much more laughter)
  1. (Not really funny, but humorous to watch) A 2 year old is being baptized at the main Mass of the day. The entire Baptismal liturgy, she screams, “I don’t wanna get wet! I don’t wanna get wet!”
 
A couple from me …
About 8 years ago a young lad has his first go at being a server. He was there with his two older brothers. He would stand there with this look of total awe but also deer in the headlights, or stand there daydreaming. It was so cute to see the innocence in his face.

Our priest was a wonderful man from Croatia, whose native language was nor English. While he spoke good English, he was such a perfectionist, that he memorised his sermons. His delivery was a bit monotone as a result. On more than one occasion he began reciting his homily, and then lost his place, he paused and if you looked at him you could see the wheels turning and as if a tape was rewinding. After a silence of up to thirty seconds or so, he resumed as if he never lost a beat.

I, as cantor, have had my share of flubs (thank you God!). Once, when I had no organist, I totally drew a blank as to how a certain hymn went. As I can’t read music, this meant that … gulp … I had announced something that I hadn’t a clue about. I quickly TRIED to read the music … and hit all the right notes … although necessarily in the proper order :). Then there was the time that I sang the great Amen from the Doxology instead of the Memorial Acclamation – and yes – just like that lad in my first paragraph – I was daydreaming 😃

God bless

Tony
 
During our Easter Vigil Mass, after the Priest went around sprinkiling the Holy Water to everyone, he put that away and was about to precede, an elderly couple in one of the front pews proclaimed loudly that they didn’t get any of the water on them. Our Priest could hardly keep from laughing as he went back to get the water!
 
At the Mass on Holy Thursday, our Monsignor asked if all those who were to have their feet washed would please remove “your right sock and foot”. 😃
 
I guess with a couple of new priests this past year, things were a little disorganized during the Tridiuum and the Easter Vigil. The holy water fonts weren’t emptied after the Holy Thursday Mass, (I didn’t notice, but apparently, the St. Joseph candles were lit on Good Friday). For the veneration of the Cross, they had the cross in the center isle instead of multiple crosses on each side (and center isle). I think they do this since it’s a large parish, and there’s a lot of elderly people, too. So, this threw off the people on the ends of the pew who didn’t even go up at first. So, people coming back from the center had to squeeze through the center isle. During the Easter Vigil, they turned the lights on too early before the altar servers could light the candles. I think that might’ve threw them off, since they were heading in every odd direction. Plus, one poor altar boy couldn’t even light half of the Blessed Mother candles, and he didn’t even try to light the ones on the other side (about a minute later).
 
jayk15 said:
I remember a reader last year:
“A reading from the letter of St Paul to ther Galileans” instead of Galations
Click to expand...
Yeah, I’ve heard “A reading from the letter of St. Paul to the Philippinians.”
 
A long long long time ago when I was still in Catholic grade school, Sister M___, our teacher, pointed out that Father ___ , proclaiming the part of the Gospel regarding the rich man and Lazarus, said that the rich man “fasted” splendidly every day, instead of “feasted”, which of course was what was actually written in the Gospel. Woops.😉
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top