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PatriceA
Guest
Nah, it happens on any forum when the OP doesn’t want to hear the advice or the comments when people respond in the way they didn’t expect.
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PhanxicoXavier
Guest
He that hath found a good wife, hath found a good thing, and shall receive a pleasure from the Lord. He that driveth away a good wife, driveth away a good thing: but he that keepeth an adulteress, is foolish and wicked. - Proverbs 18:22
Happy is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband: and shall fulfill the years of his life in peace. A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. Rich or poor, if his heart is good, his countenance shall be cheerful at all times. Ecclesiasticus 26:1-4
A jealous woman is the grief and mourning of the heart. With a jealous woman is a scourge of the tongue which communicateth with all. As a yoke of oxen that is moved to and fro, so also is a wicked woman: he that hath hold of her, is as he that taketh hold of a scorpion. Ecclesiasticus 26:8-10
Its hard to resist physical attraction, but I always just remind myself that it would do no good to marry someone just because of physical attraction, since they would be a major stumbling block to growing spiritually and raising a Catholic family. Beauty fades away with time! But the gift of a Catholic wife never dimishes. This is a common delusion of a wicked world - sexual attraction should never be the basis of a marriage. This is why so many marriages fall apart.
As Catholics we’re supposed to be the salt of the earth! If we’re living the way that we should, then we ought to stick noticebly out of the crowd!
If I am destined to marry, hopefully whoever I marry goes to Holy Mass whenever possible, prays the Rosary daily, is not loud, dresses modestly, and ACTS LIKE A WOMAN.
Happy is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband: and shall fulfill the years of his life in peace. A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. Rich or poor, if his heart is good, his countenance shall be cheerful at all times. Ecclesiasticus 26:1-4
A jealous woman is the grief and mourning of the heart. With a jealous woman is a scourge of the tongue which communicateth with all. As a yoke of oxen that is moved to and fro, so also is a wicked woman: he that hath hold of her, is as he that taketh hold of a scorpion. Ecclesiasticus 26:8-10
The grace of a diligent woman shall delight her husband, and shall fat his bones. Her discipline is the gift of God. Such is a wise and silent woman, and there is nothing so much worth as a well instructed soul. A holy and shamefaced woman is grace upon grace. Ecclesiasticus 26:16-19
I think that it is disgusting when women dress with tight or short clothing, use profanity (this is especially tiring to hear from the mouths of young girls), and act immodestly and arrogantly. Men need to act like men, and women need to act like women. Its not a hard concept!Its hard to resist physical attraction, but I always just remind myself that it would do no good to marry someone just because of physical attraction, since they would be a major stumbling block to growing spiritually and raising a Catholic family. Beauty fades away with time! But the gift of a Catholic wife never dimishes. This is a common delusion of a wicked world - sexual attraction should never be the basis of a marriage. This is why so many marriages fall apart.
As Catholics we’re supposed to be the salt of the earth! If we’re living the way that we should, then we ought to stick noticebly out of the crowd!
If I am destined to marry, hopefully whoever I marry goes to Holy Mass whenever possible, prays the Rosary daily, is not loud, dresses modestly, and ACTS LIKE A WOMAN.
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mommamaree
Guest
I am sorry that you get so offended by breastfeeding, but I have to respond to this. I am not a cow, and I refuse to hook my breast up to some machine to pump milk which must be stored in sterilized containers, chilled, and later reheated and put into sterile bottles before I can feed my baby. I really thought about not posting to this thread because so many of the comments about breastfeeding were inflammatory. It never ceases to amaze me how so many people who have never had babies feel the need to condemn the behavior of mothers who breastfeed (as God intended, I might add). I am an extremely modest women, but if my baby gets hungry, then I will not deny them nourishment. I am able to do so discreetly. In fact, most people never catch on to the fact that I am nursing, and they come over to ooh and aah over the baby, all the while, the baby is nursing. It is NOT about women’s rights, it is about the rights of the child to nourishment and comfort at his mother’s breast. And with Catholic families being encouraged to welcome children as blessings, it is impossible for a breastfeeding mother to isolate herself in order to not offend anyone. She would be perpetually confined to the home. The medical advice is to breastfeed at least one year, better it be two. So from birth until age 2, a mother is bound to have to nurse her little babe at least sometimes when she leaves the house. And no, we should not have to act just like bottle-feeding mothers in order to gain approval. Breastfeeding is the healthy NORM, it is bottle feeding that should be the rarity. We all need to accept this. Just like we are not to make ourselves purposefully sterile, we should not be purposefully drying up our milk and giving our babies cow’s milk-derived sugary formulas. Nor should we have to act as if we are bottle feeders. Please think more carefully about what you are expecting of mothers…
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CountrySinger
Guest
Only be honest if it will please everybody.
It’s no wonder why I’m thinking of giving up Catholicism. Hmmm…
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mommamaree
Guest
Why would you think that she, or any mother, has this line of thinking going through her head? Maybe her husband wanted her there? And you, as a female, were in attendance to witness this, what brought you there? I and the other wives and girlfriends went to EVERY one of our guy’s recreational league games (baseball and soccer). Some of the wives had children, some did not. But the men had fun playing a guy’s game in front of their ladies. Maybe this was what brought you and the mother to that game?
Please try to be more charitable about other’s intentions, and don’t assume that people always have such awful intentions as you suggested here. It really is quite hurtful, especially since you are extrapolating from that one event to make generalizations about breastfeeding mothers in general.
Let me ask you this…do you think you will become a wife and mother one day? Do you think you will always be able to find private locations to nurse your child? Because it is not always so easy to find sanitary private places. Indeed, once soon after the birth of my first child, while I was out with some family that was not yet comfortable with breastfeeding (I was the first mother in generations in the family to even attempt it), I had to go and stand in a dirty public restroom for 30 minutes while holding and nursing my hungry baby (let me tell you, that was a terrifying 30 minutes that exhausted me), all so that I would not offend those same relatives who were then upset that the baby was gone so long!
So think about how much we mothers try to be accomodating to people who do not understand the necessity of breastfeeding on demand (as in when babies are hungry), but how we sometimes have no options.And no, you have not made an enemy of me. I just hope you will really reconsider your assumptions. Maybe talk to some breastfeeding moms, either here or amongst your aquaintances. Read some books about breastfeeding. You might feel more relaxed and less offended or quick to judge next time a nursing mom has to feed her baby.
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mommamaree
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CountrySinger -
I am still new to the forums at CAF, so I don’t know your style of posting yet. But PLEASE, say you are kidding! Rabid forum posters at CAF do not represent an accurate cross-section of the Catholic church. If anything, give up CAF and gain back your peace of mind.
I am a baby Catholic, so it really shocked me to see your post. I really hope you are not hurting. Mary_Gail_36
New member
I’ve breast fed 3 children all for over a year. I can be in my living room nursing and my own DH won’t realize it sometimes. He’ll ask. “Is the baby asleep?” “No, Baby’s eating.”I thought about not posting, but I really enjoy the people who either don’t have kids or have never breastfed say it needs to be done in moderation.So having a screaming baby is better than letting a mother breastfeed her baby in public.
Babies got to eat when babies got to eat, and scheduling the feeding so you don’t have to feed when you are out only works so well, and waiting until you get home to feed an already hungry baby doesn’t work at all.
I agree that a certain amount of discretion should be used when feeding. However, that does not mean going into a restroom. You wouldn’t eat your lunch in a restroom, I am not going to make a baby eat in a restroom. Just today I had to feed my son at church because he was tired and it was his nap time. So I fed him, discreetly right in the pew. I was wearing a nursing tank under my shirt so my abdomen was covered and my shirt rested on the baby’s face so no skin was showing. I find this is discrete enough for any public place.
So I’m often confused on how it’s possible to nurse “immodestly” I haven’t ever seen it.
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CountrySinger
Guest
I’ve been thinking for the last couple months. My desire for my old life is too tempting, and I’ve been questioing the beliefs of the Church, I don’t think I could be part of sometbhing in whicb I don’t believe in 100%. But I’m given God a chance to knock me off my horse, you know? But He doesn’t have too much longer.CountrySinger -
I am still new to the forums at CAF, so I don’t know your style of posting yet. But PLEASE, say you are kidding! Rabid forum posters at CAF do not represent an accurate cross-section of the Catholic church. If anything, give up CAF and gain back your peace of mind.
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KostyaJMJ
Guest
This is what I am thinking too. I’ve never seen anyone breastfeeding immodestly. Most of the time nobody even realizes what is going on.I’ve breast fed 3 children all for over a year. I can be in my living room nursing and my own DH won’t realize it sometimes. He’ll ask. “Is the baby asleep?” “No, Baby’s eating.”
So I’m often confused on how it’s possible to nurse “immodestly” I haven’t ever seen it.
It does seem people are comfortable with breasts being used for anything but their intended purpose. You can use breasts to sell everything from beer to shampoo, and nobody bats an eye. But use them to feed a baby and you would be surprised at the negative reaction you get. It does seem a lot of men get offended at the idea that breasts might have other purposes than making them giggle.
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The_Bucket
Guest
No kidding.
I mean, I’ve been slightly uncomfortable with women breastfeeding in public before, but to be fair, the way they were going about it was weird. I think lactation consultants are great and sometimes the La Leche League can be a great resource, but I was at a LLL get-together with my wife last year and these women were quite literally just unhooking, pulling up their shirts and feeding their kids with no cover whatsoever. I mean come on. And besides that, I’m not talking about feeding newborns or even 1 year olds. I’m talking about kids that could run, jump and all of that… at least two or three years of age. That’s a bit weird.
But if you’re being appropriately modest and the kid isn’t schoolage or something, I think those seem put out by breastfeeding are the ones that need to change their minds and actions. Babies need food and breasts were made to provide that food. Chill, the kid is trying to eat… I doubt very much you’d like people gawking and feeling uncomfortable because you want to eat a burger in public.
Oh and more to the OP’s point, I think there’s definitely a conservative counter-culture brewing. You see how loose and well… stupid women are lampooned constantly now in TV shows like “Jersey Shore” and the like. They’re certainly not embraced as being liberated or anything like that, just immature. There’s also a strong undercurrent out there pointing to how men need to be men; I think that idea will be embraced sooner than “women should be women” simply because television audiences are generally dominated by women and women like men being men despite what the culture has force fed them for decades.
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sanctareparata
Guest
It is not always about the child, I admit that. There are times when I am in public when I am leaking like a faucet and MUST nurse the baby, even if he hasn’t expressed any interest in nursing yet.
In most places more than a “dozen seconds” are involved - I can’t just leave a cart of groceries sitting in the store, or rush all the kids from the library before they are done choosing books, or walk from the church to my car while at Mass or something. A lot of the time, in public places there are no private places to go to other than a bathroom.
No, of course it makes no difference to the child, but again, how easy is it to find a discreet location? It’s usually impossible or next to impossible for me, without having to resort to using a bathroom. I prefer just to nurse where I am, discreetly, and no one even knows what I’m doing anyway (unless I’m using a nursing cover which just SCREAMS nursing and that’s usually when I get “the looks.”
You’re right. But I’d venture no one here nurses “immodestly”. And immodest nursing is something I personally have never seen by anyone else, either. Even so, breastfeeding in public isn’t illegal anyway. As for the rights of others, well, some people are insulted by mothers nursing with covers, too. You can’t please everyone.
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smallcat
Guest
I will try not to be insulting but WHAT?! May I ask if you have any children? Put breastmilk in a bottle just so that others don’t have to watch me discreetly breastfeed my baby? Many, many breastfed babies refuse to take a bottle or take it only with great difficulty. Why in the world would I do this when my baby can receive fresh milk, warmed as he prefers, from the source?
I agree, there are some places a baby should not be (not because they are breastfed but because they are simply inappropriate for young children) but most moms I know need to take their babies to many many places. Maybe not a guys’ only baseball league, but how about their older children’s football games? Or baseball practice? Or how about piano lessons (with a male teacher)? Or taking kids to the dentist? Or teaching a homeschool co-op class? Or the grocery store, for heaven’s sakes? Should Mom hire a sitter so she can do all of these things unencumbered by the potential need to stop what she’s doing , sit down and nurse her baby? Or should she wait to do all of them until her husband is home? I can tell you that this is laughably impractical.
I can see your point if you are talking about a woman who literally has her entire breast exposed while feeding her child, but in my many years of breastfeeding and hanging around lots of moms feeding lots of babies, I have never seen this. A simple blanket draped over the shoulder does the job and if you see “more than you need to” at that point, my guess is you’re looking too hard.
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Monte_RCMS
Guest
Naaah! What ya do is start off the day with a Rosary, even before getting out of bed. Use the time to do your eye rolls. And primal scream. Add an extra decade to ask the Holy Spirit to get involved more often, more loudly, and more creatively.
Add some notes for help for all your prayer partners and for all of the “unhelpful” people in your life. [Or, to reframe it, … for all the people who enjoy helping in a negative way.]
Then get up and make coffee.
Stay with the Catholicism. Find a 6:30 am Mass. Dump it all on God. He has broad shoulders.
AND DON’T FORGET … VERY IMPORTANT … at the end of each work day, Jesus, Himself, repaired to a local pub for some “tavern ministry”. We know that, because the New Testament records the criticism He received for hanging out with drinkers (and “others”).
It’s a shame that they didn’t have beer back then. I think Jesus would have enjoyed it, although I guess He could have INVENTED it.
Be of good cheer.
When in doubt, read the last words of St. Paul … nearing death, he just kept beating himself up. He would say one thing and the folks would take it backwards. People inventing all new kinds of perversions. He died a very frustrated man.
Most of the Apostles were hunted down and killed. I think all but one.
So hang in there. Fight the good fight of faith.
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Whitacre_Girl
Guest
I’d also like to add that it’s not just catholics. Protestants are very skillful in mean comments and driving you right up the wall too. So are buddhists, atheists, agnostics, hindu, shinto, pagan…I could go on, but you get the point. EVERYONE has “those people” in it. If you just hop religions looking for the one with “nice people” you’ll end up sorely disappointed.Naaah! What ya do is start off the day with a Rosary, even before getting out of bed. Use the time to do your eye rolls. And primal scream. Add an extra decade to ask the Holy Spirit to get involved more often, more loudly, and more creatively.
Add some notes for help for all your prayer partners and for all of the “unhelpful” people in your life. [Or, to reframe it, … for all the people who enjoy helping in a negative way.]
Then get up and make coffee.
Stay with the Catholicism. Find a 6:30 am Mass. Dump it all on God. He has broad shoulders.
AND DON’T FORGET … VERY IMPORTANT … at the end of each work day, Jesus, Himself, repaired to a local pub for some “tavern ministry”. We know that, because the New Testament records the criticism He received for hanging out with drinkers (and “others”).
It’s a shame that they didn’t have beer back then. I think Jesus would have enjoyed it, although I guess He could have INVENTED it.
Be of good cheer.
When in doubt, read the last words of St. Paul … nearing death, he just kept beating himself up. He would say one thing and the folks would take it backwards. People inventing all new kinds of perversions. He died a very frustrated man.
Most of the Apostles were hunted down and killed. I think all but one.
So hang in there. Fight the good fight of faith.
I have my issues with catholicism, as does everyone I am sure. Matter of fact, I have get to find even ONE catholic (forums or otherwise) who is completely 100% “on board” with everything the church does, says, and believes. But you ultimately need to ask yourself where truth is, and you’ll see that with as messed up as a family we are, we were still the church founded by Christ.
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Rascalking
Guest
Whitacre_Girl, I’d appreciate it if you stopped reading my mind. This is excatly what I was thinking.
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KostyaJMJ
Guest
It is just the way that we often communicate over the internet; it isn’t something specific to Catholics. Plus, discussions on just about any subject on the web tend to bring out the the most passionate and opinionated people. Heck, you can probably find heated and uncharitable discussions on other forums over Spock’s exact views concerning the Romulans.
If you’re feeling that way, you might want to just look away from the computer screen for a while and try and find some good Catholics IRL to talk to.
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Whitacre_Girl
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Rascalking
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LOL! Well, I heard Cribbage is a lovely game----(actually it is!)But that means I have to get a new hobby!!! :crying:
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Whitacre_Girl
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I suppose I could give it a try.LOL! Well, I heard Cribbage is a lovely game----(actually it is!)
hehe
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rotlex
Guest
Very well said. Thank you, for preventing me from posting something in this thread that I would probably regret.
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