Men please answer honestly

[CountrySinger]

It is just the way that we often communicate over the internet; it isn’t something specific to Catholics. Plus, discussions on just about any subject on the web tend to bring out the the most passionate and opinionated people. Heck, you can probably find heated and uncharitable discussions on other forums over Spock’s exact views concerning the Romulans.

If you’re feeling that way, you might want to just look away from the computer screen for a while and try and find some good Catholics IRL to talk to.

Except I live in the Northwest, and “Catholics” here are CINO or extremely boring.

And it’s not just about the people, I have some big beefs with the Church’s view on a lot of things, I won’t go into detail here (it has only come up recently). And yes, I have read books about the teachings, but I do miss my former life and friends at times. I feel like I’m alone, and being devout really doesn’t help (it’s a liability here).

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Except I live in the Northwest, and “Catholics” here are CINO or extremely boring.

And it’s not just about the people, I have some big beefs with the Church’s view on a lot of things, I won’t go into detail here (it has only been recently). And yes, I have read books about their teachings, but I do miss my former life and friends at times. I feel like I’m alone, and being devout really doesn’t help.

I live in the Northwest too. I know how you feel.

I also have problems with some of the teachings (I still follow them, though) but I understand that I won’t understand or agree withe verything, but I do know that I’ve bumbled around a lot, and nowhere rings as true as the Catholic Church.

I do, at times, miss my old life as well. Being a protestant is far less painful (at times) especially when you experience God either through really good traditional music (something that seems to be anathema where I live) or really good rock worship music (something that many people still seem to feel is “the devil’s music”). I just have lots and lots of private worship time at home when I find a few moments.

 

[Rascalking]

I live in the Northwest too. I know how you feel.

I also have problems with some of the teachings (I still follow them, though) but I understand that I won’t understand or agree withe verything, but I do know that I’ve bumbled around a lot, and nowhere rings as true as the Catholic Church.

I do, at times, miss my old life as well. Being a protestant is far less painful (at times) especially when you experience God either through really good traditional music (something that seems to be anathema where I live) or really good rock worship music (something that many people still seem to feel is “the devil’s music”). I just have lots and lots of private worship time at home when I find a few moments.

Ladies, I live in the Northeast, and I know what your saying, more or less. I try to remember that Catholics can have fun too-goodness knows that I do!

(belive me, I’ve read the Catechism-it doesn’t say that Cathoics can’t have fun. It does say that Catholics shouldn’t be mean though! )

 

[chevalier]

It is not always about the child, I admit that. There are times when I am in public when I am leaking like a faucet and MUST nurse the baby, even if he hasn’t expressed any interest in nursing yet.

Please, you’re reading too much into my post that I didn’t write. As I said before, I’m not grossed out, I’m not bothered, I’m not hostile. But the argument that it’s all about the child or that there’s no time doesn’t seem that good to me (even notwithstanding the fact I don’t really need an argument for my own sake anyway, it’s just that I see an argument that doesn’t seem to work).

No, of course it makes no difference to the child, but again, how easy is it to find a discreet location? It’s usually impossible or next to impossible for me, without having to resort to using a bathroom. I prefer just to nurse where I am, discreetly, and no one even knows what I’m doing anyway (unless I’m using a nursing cover which just SCREAMS nursing and that’s usually when I get “the looks.”

Then in that case you shouldn’t even have any problem with what I say. What I say basically comes down to: “there’s no such thing as not enough time to be discreet.” Since you say you choose to be discreet, this doesn’t apply to you.

You’re right. But I’d venture no one here nurses “immodestly”.

Of course.

And immodest nursing is something I personally have never seen by anyone else, either.

Neither have I.

As for the rights of others, well, some people are insulted by mothers nursing with covers, too. You can’t please everyone.

Again, one can’t please everyone but that doesn’t mean one has to give up on everybody. Whoever is offended by mothers nursing with covers needs to get a life. The point was about being somewhat discreet about it as opposed to being totally open. Personally, I see nothing shameful there, but if there are some people to whom it’s disconcerting, well, they may be wrong, but they some right to be heard and they shouldn’t be dismissed high-handedly, I think (just because no one ever should on any matter).

 

[whatevergirl]

Normally I would agree in everything you’ve stated. But we live in a world gorged on sexual appetites of the flesh in every imaginable description.

Quite frankly; there are a lot of sick human puppies out there caught in such vile lusts.

*I’m 41…and I’ve noticed in my ENTIRE life, maybe 3 women breastfeeding in public…either I’m totally oblivious, or I don’t care…or there just aren’t that many who are all that blatant. I mean…who cares if you see this once in a blue moon?

I agree with your perspective…guess that because of mankind’s depravity, we view women breastfeeding as something to ogle…that’s just gross to me. If you see a woman breastfeeding…turn your head. THAT’s respsectable to her…I have yet to meet a woman who is so blatant to just not cover up to a degree. *

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

*I’m 41…and I’ve noticed in my ENTIRE life, maybe 3 women breastfeeding in public…either I’m totally oblivious, or I don’t care…or there just aren’t that many who are all that blatant. I mean…who cares if you see this once in a blue moon?

I agree with your perspective…guess that because of mankind’s depravity, we view women breastfeeding as something to ogle…that’s just gross to me. If you see a woman breastfeeding…turn your head. THAT’s respsectable to her*…I have yet to meet a woman who is so blatant to just not cover up to a degree.

Unfortunately, I have. There is even a facebook group which someone on my friend’s list added called “If you don’t like breastfeeding, but a blanket over YOUR head!” and it was filled with militant mothers who felt is was their RIGHT to whip their shirts up, pop the boob out, and feed away. With NO regard to anyone else in the arena they were doing it in. We’re not talking about draping a blanket over their shoulder, were talking about full on nudity. They’d share stories about how “rude” it was for people to politely ask them to just drape a blanket so as not to upset other patrons in public places. And we’re talking about going to nice restaurants where others are eating.

Breastfeeding is a totally natural thing, and if someone is sincerely offended by a woman with a modesty cloth or blanket covering the spectacle, they have a very serious problem. However, it is totally reasonable to tell mothers that they are free to breastfeed where ever they want: restaurant, sporting event, concert, you name it, so long as they have the common respect of others to use a blanket to cover up.

Frankly, if I were a mother and I was breastfeeding in a mall bench area with a cloth covering me (I see this all the time), and someone gave ME a dirty look I’d hit 'em with some kinda snappy comeback “Do I stare at you when YOU’RE eating in the food court?” Only funnier, and more witty. I suppose I’ll have to rehearse some just in case God blesses us someday

SOmething like “what’s the matter? Never seen a blanket before?” Bah. I dunno. I’ll think of something though!!

 

[The_Bucket]

Some of those LLL people are weird, at least in my mind As much as I am totally fine with breastfeeding anywhere, including church or public events, I think it’s a bit strange to see a woman just unhooks her bra and lifts her shirt when her 24+ month child comes up to her and asks for milk in very clear and plain English. And yes, this did actually happen.

 

[whatevergirl]

Just look away…

 

[OAO]

To be quite frank, women that wear very provocative clothes, are sexually aggressive early in a relationship, and care more about their careers than children don’t seem like marriage material.

 

[Rascalking]

To be quite frank, women that wear very provocative clothes, are sexually aggressive early in a relationship, and care more about their careers than children don’t seem like marriage material.

Your painting with way too broad a brush right there. I’d prefer a woman to be herself-if that means she’s into her career or something, than by all means, go for it. Even women who wear provocative clothes are necessarily “easy”.

 

[sanctareparata]

Breastfeeding is a totally natural thing, and if someone is sincerely offended by a woman with a modesty cloth or blanket covering the spectacle, they have a very serious problem. However, it is totally reasonable to tell mothers that they are free to breastfeed where ever they want: restaurant, sporting event, concert, you name it, so long as they have the common respect of others to use a blanket to cover up.

Except for the fact that there are plenty of women who can nurse discreetly without a blanket. I personally can’t stand the things.

Women can cover up just as well by using a tanktop to keep their bellies covered and using the baby’s head and their shirts to keep the tops of their breasts covered. Blankets not required.

 

[mommamaree]

Except for the fact that there are plenty of women who can nurse discreetly without a blanket. I personally can’t stand the things.

Women can cover up just as well by using a tanktop to keep their bellies covered and using the baby’s head and their shirts to keep the tops of their breasts covered. Blankets not required.

So true, sanctareparata! And both my babies thus far have literally SCREAMED their heads off if I tried to cover with a blanket or nursing cover. They just can’t breathe and they get so hot. I have found the best method for me is a crochet summer weight blanket, just to get the baby latched, and then lay the blanket around my waist, within reach for a quick coverup when the baby pulls away. The hardest part is getting my clothes put back together after baby is full, so I lean over and cover up with the blanket to make my adjustments. How anyone could object to that is beyond me. But if my baby needs nourishment and I am stuck somewhere with no privacy and no blanket, I will do what it takes to nurse the baby and maintain my modesty. I just hope people can have compassion for those of us who get caught in such a situation and not jump to conclusions about some agenda we must have for breastfeeding openly without shame.

 

[Monte_RCMS]

Just pray A LOT.

Continuous prayer.

Waiting for a traffic light to change. Waiting in a supermarket line.

Say a partial Rosary.

When you’re at home, alone, pray for a while on your knees or even laying flat on your face. Prostrate yourself before God.

Get some religious statues; transform your house into a shrine.

Pray, pray, pray.

[This coming from the guy who said: “Beer”.]

 

[Nec5]

Is this thread about breasts, modesty, or modest breasts?

Or immodest breasts for that matter.

 

[ack]

I originally started this thread because I wanted to hear men’s opinions about changing attitudes and the way women’s behaviour is changed. I NEVER intended for this to get into a debate about breast feeding in public.

I feel I have created a lot of enemies, which I will just have to live with. If other people want to continue this thread feel free. I think it is best I drop out of this

CM

Unfortunately, you inadvertently stumbled upon one of the topics that has caused many heated arguments on CAF in the past. I’ve been on CAF for a while and I’ve noticed that some topics are perrenial “pet peeves” which always result in angry replies and shouting matches. Unfortuantely, public breastfeeding is one such topic, which is how the thread went off course so fast. Better luck with your next thread, I guess

In the spirit of the moderators’ “banned topics” list, I offer ack’s list of “inadvisable topics” (Family Life forum edition):

(1) Breastfeeding in public
(2) Child vaccination
(3) Co-sleeping
(4) Circumcision of babies
(5) Fingernail polish on young children
(6) Alleged cult-like behavior of Neocatechumenal Way/ACTS/Regnum Christi
(7) Is it okay for women to wear pants?
(8) Women’s swimsuits
(9) Anything related to “modest” dress
(10) Off-label use of medication (e.g. Benadryl) to make children sleep
(11) Public schooling vs Catholic schooling vs homeschooling
(12) Anything related to Notre Dame
(13) Alleged selfishness of small families
(14) Catholic school vs CCD/parish religious education

Avoid these topics, and your threads are more likely (but not guaranteed) to stay civil.

 

[CountrySinger]

Unfortunately, you inadvertently stumbled upon one of the topics that has caused many heated arguments on CAF in the past. I’ve been on CAF for a while and I’ve noticed that some topics are perrenial “pet peeves” which always result in angry replies and shouting matches. Unfortuantely, public breastfeeding is one such topic, which is how the thread went off course so fast. Better luck with your next thread, I guess

In the spirit of the moderators’ “banned topics” list, I offer ack’s list of “inadvisable topics” (Family Life forum edition):

(1) Breastfeeding in public
(2) Child vaccination
(3) Co-sleeping
(4) Circumcision of babies
(5) Fingernail polish on young children
(6) Alleged cult-like behavior of Neocatechumenal Way/ACTS/Regnum Christi
(7) Is it okay for women to wear pants?
(8) Women’s swimsuits
(9) Anything related to “modest” dress
(10) Off-label use of medication (e.g. Benadryl) to make children sleep
(11) Public schooling vs Catholic schooling vs homeschooling
(12) Anything related to Notre Dame
(13) Alleged selfishness of small families
(14) Catholic school vs CCD/parish religious education

Avoid these topics, and your threads are more likely (but not guaranteed) to stay civil.

So my thread about brestfeeding women wearing bikinis and pants going to Notre Dame, who use Tylenol PM while circumsising a co-sleeping and vaccinated child (wearing nail polish) of a small family who sends their children to public school is not okay?!

LAME!

 

[ack]

So my thread about brestfeeding women wearing bikinis and pants going to Notre Dame, who use Tylenol PM while circumsising a co-sleeping and vaccinated child (wearing nail polish) of a small family who sends their children to public school is not okay?!

LAME!

Post it – I dare you…

That is the one thread that will utterly destroy CAF, and suddenly we will all have more free time…

 

[CountrySinger]

Post it – I dare you…

That is the one thread that will utterly destroy CAF, and suddenly we will all have more free time…

To have all power. With great power comes “something something”.

 

[joe_cool]

Ok, I have a question that would definitely become heated in a secular environment but I am hoping on a Catholic website men will be more comfortable anwering.

Time will certainly tell on that one, my friend.

What do men really think about the way women carry on today? I mean by wearing provocative clothes,

Ridiculous

figthing to breast feed in public

Classless

and getting mad at people who are against it.

Selfish.

Being the ones to initate dates with men,

… this one really actually irks me, but I appreciate it for what it is: the tell-tale sign of a woman who sees little value in herself, or little value in you.

using profanity,

Classless. I do not use profanity myself, and I certainly expect any potential mate to not use it either.

flirting (not innocently),

No self-respect.

being offended when men open doors and all the other stuff.

Angry at the world.

I have often been in situations were woman would do things in front of their husbands that I though was not nice and the man simply ignores it.

For the sake of keeping the peace. Sorry, but most men have forgotten what it means to be a man.

For example, my uncles wife kept talking about her first husband, and then her second husband in front of him (he is her third husband). Personally, I found that was a put down to my uncle to have it in his face that she still though about them (ok, I know my uncle chose to be her third husband but that is beside the point). I think my uncle ignored it because he knew she wouldn’t stop and he had too much pride to admit his hurt.

That’s absolutely terrible.

Once a man told me when his girlfriend hits him, he laughs because he knows if he hits her back society would be totally against him. Is it possible it is not the physical pain that hurst the man but the emotional put down that would crush him?

I’m not sure… Nobody deserves to be hit by someone they love, though. I hope he leaves her, or at the very least that she gets help.

Deep down, regardless of what society says, do men not want wifes, mothers and sisters that are respectable?

Men in general? No. Society wants what the magic TV box tells them they should want.

Real men, however… want wives, mothers, and sisters that are respectable.

Also, please list behaviours that feminist think woman should do but deep down men think are wrong.

Ultra-low-cut hip-hugger jeans, and all clothing that leaves absolutely nothing up to the imagination in general… and all femme-rock (sorry, but Liz Phair is unbearable).

Oh, and the whole not-shaving thing. Nothing worse than a woman who doesn’t care about her appearance. Feminists eat that stuff up, though.

The reason I ask is because as a woman I need to know it is OK to be old fashion.

Of course it is.

Since I can’t get the support from my female peers to be modest, can I please have some support from men

You certainly have my support.

Good luck, and God bless, my friend.

-Joe

 

[Monte_RCMS]

I will say that the daily cleavage is eye-popping.

Not to mention the see-through dresses in daytime routine wear.

[Not to mention the Walmart email photographs that are making the rounds. ]

Hellllooooo!