Most Catholic women use birth control banned by church

[happymommy]

:yup:
Not having sex never killed anyone.

prove it

just kidding

 

[estesbob]

boys are fun:knight2: of course, girls are too:curtsey:

I’ve always felt that teenage daughters was God’s punishment upon us for being teenage boys!

 

[crazzeto]

I am glad that you do not have any spritual issues that cause you any difficulty but I do have my own struggles as I am sure many Catholics out there do. Let us pray for each other.

Jane, you probably haven’t seen my first posting to this thread, but I started with my wife and I’s own struggles with NFP. You see my wfie just had our first child (beautiful girl) at 32 weeks. She was delivered because of my wifes sever preeclampsia, they delivered because her platelet count dropped to 108,000 and was dropping 40,000/day. You can imagine how frightening this all was for us.

Our daughter is still in the NICU in fact, doing very well (has been doing excellent since birth actually) and she is getting ready to come home. NFP has become a stresser in our life, in part because of stories like yours. However after much discussion my wife and I are sticking too it.

We know the pain of contraceptive practice will be too much for us, and frankly we also know that trying to lead our children to the Lord will be more difficult if we discard those teachings we find, well lets just say a little less than convinent.

I post this to let you know I know well the pain your going through. But I can only exhort you to place all your trust in the Lord. After all, if the birds of the field get enough food to eat, how much more will he take care of us?

I will be praying for you.

 

[HumblePilgrim]

Correction: you are pregnant because you used NFP incorrectly.

What method were you using? Did you follow all of the rules, precisely? Were you careful to take all your temps and observe all of your signs accurately? If not, then it’s not surprising that it “didn’t work.” It’s no different then forgetting to take a pill or putting the condom on wrong. All birth control has a user failure rate.

Have you asked your local parish for help? What did they say? Have you made any changes in your lives that might make your budget easier to live within?

NFP works if you use it right. The one unexpected pregnancy I had while using NFP happened because I was charting sloppily and lazily. It wasn’t the method’s fault, it was mine.

Have you been to a pregnancy resource center for assistance? Have you applied for welfare, WIC, foodstamps, TANF?

You do have it, but you need to put that in action and not give up when it’s too hard.

I’m expecting baby #4 and things are tight financially too. But we put our trust in God and His Church and neither have failed us.

Edit - I forgot to say, I am praying for you as well. I really encourage you to learn a new NFP method during your pregnancy so you can use it after your pregnancy to greater effect, and to check out the sources of assistance (including your parish!) I mentioned above.

Just to clarify, I am not poor enough to qualify for welfare or any sort of assistance. But we live check to check. I do not even have the money for day care (don’t know how that one will work out) . Miami is freakishly expensive to live at the moment. My parish does not have a daycare center. tI also means that I will not be able to send my child to Catholic school if things continue as is.

I followed the Creighton method and was as regular as rain and followed it to a tee and if I remember my husband and I checked the calendar just before the deed (yes, I KNOW when it happened) and it was a go!

I don’t even have enough leave time when the baby is due and I am praying that I do not get put on bed rest for my high blood pressure. Then we would be in serious problems.

It’s funny that if I struggled with something else spiritually, even a mortal sin, there would be more acknowledgement that it is sometimes very hard to be Catholic. But once the birth control issue comes up then it seems as if you written off.

 

[crazzeto]

Just to clarify, I am not poor enough to qualify for welfare or any sort of assistance. But we live check to check. I do not even have the money for day care (don’t know how that one will work out) . Miami is freakishly expensive to live at the moment. My parish does not have a daycare center. tI also means that I will not be able to send my child to Catholic school if things continue as is.

I followed the Creighton method and was as regular as rain and followed it to a tee and if I remember my husband and I checked the calendar just before the deed (yes, I KNOW when it happened) and it was a go!

I don’t even have enough leave time when the baby is due and I am praying that I do not get put on bed rest for my high blood pressure. Then we would be in serious problems.

It’s funny that if I struggled with something else spiritually, even a mortal sin, there would be more acknowledgement that it is sometimes very hard to be Catholic. But once the birth control issue comes up then it seems as if you written off.

I suggest this because it has worked for my wife and I very well:

Financial Peace University

I don’t mean to make judgments about your financial situation or why you live paycheck to paycheck. I just know that I was in that situation my self not long ago, and Dave Ramsey’s lessons got my wife and I out of that situation.

 

[1holycatholic]

Just to clarify, I am not poor enough to qualify for welfare or any sort of assistance. But we live check to check. I do not even have the money for day care (don’t know how that one will work out) . Miami is freakishly expensive to live at the moment. My parish does not have a daycare center. tI also means that I will not be able to send my child to Catholic school if things continue as is.

I followed the Creighton method and was as regular as rain and followed it to a tee and if I remember my husband and I checked the calendar just before the deed (yes, I KNOW when it happened) and it was a go!

I don’t even have enough leave time when the baby is due and I am praying that I do not get put on bed rest for my high blood pressure. Then we would be in serious problems.

It’s funny that if I struggled with something else spiritually, even a mortal sin, there would be more acknowledgement that it is sometimes very hard to be Catholic. But once the birth control issue comes up then it seems as if you written off.

What will you do when contraceptives fail?

 

[HumblePilgrim]

What will you do when contraceptives fail?

Never failed for me once and I was on it for 14 years straight and I was sexually active (I was not Catholic then).

 

[estesbob]

be in serious problems.

It’s funny that if I struggled with something else spiritually, even a mortal sin, there would be more acknowledgement that it is sometimes very hard to be Catholic. But once the birth control issue comes up then it seems as if you written off.

I supect if you posted "I am going to start skipping Mass every Sunday you would have gotten the same reaction.

 

[HumblePilgrim]

I supect if you posted "I am going to start skipping Mass every Sunday you would have gotten the same reaction.

You should see my Church most Sundays except now that it’s Easter. WHEW! I can’t get any room.

 

[1holycatholic]

Never failed for me once and I was on it for 14 years straight and I was sexually active (I was not Catholic then).

Abortion clinics are packed with women whose contraceptive failed resulting in an unplanned pregnancy.

Contraceptives are less effective than NFP. Contraceptive failure is just a matter of time.

 

[wanner47]

Just to clarify, I am not poor enough to qualify for welfare or any sort of assistance.

Have you checked? You’d be surprised. The income cap for WIC is higher than I thought it would be.

But we live check to check.

I lived that way for many years – quite recently, in fact. Is there any way you can trim your budget? Cancel cable, eat out less, switch to a cheaper cell phone plan?

I do not even have the money for day care (don’t know how that one will work out).

If it’s impossible for one of you to stay at home, or to work split shifts, try going with a private home daycare and not a center. It’s much less expensive. Right now we pay $200/week for two kids in a private home daycare, plus about $200/month for my daughter’s before/after school care.

Miami is freakishly expensive to live at the moment.

Is it possible to move elsewhere, or move to a cheaper suburb?

My parish does not have a daycare center. tI also means that I will not be able to send my child to Catholic school if things continue as is.

We can’t afford Catholic school, either. (Plus the nearest one is 15 miles away, and it’s just not possible logistically.) My daughter goes to public school.

I followed the Creighton method and was as regular as rain and followed it to a tee and if I remember my husband and I checked the calendar just before the deed (yes, I KNOW when it happened) and it was a go!

So your mucous signs indicated that you weren’t in the fertile phase of your cycle? Were you taking any medication that may have affected your cervical mucous?

Have you sent your chart to a Creighton instructor and asked for feedback as to what went wrong?

You might want to try the Marquette method, which employs the use of a fertility monitor.

I don’t even have enough leave time when the baby is due and I am praying that I do not get put on bed rest for my high blood pressure. Then we would be in serious problems.

At that point you would probably qualify for disability payments or TANF.

Did you get a tax refund this year? Could that be used to pay for your maternity leave?

Have you been at your job for more than a year, and do they have 50+ employees? If so, you qualify for FMLA and you are entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave, and they must offer you the same job when you return.

It’s funny that if I struggled with something else spiritually, even a mortal sin, there would be more acknowledgement that it is sometimes very hard to be Catholic. But once the birth control issue comes up then it seems as if you written off.

It’s very hard to be Catholic, and it’s very hard to use NFP. I fully admit it. This baby came about because we were frustrated with avoiding and felt it was worth the risk. In fact, if I hadn’t conceived this month, we were going to try the Marquette method in hopes it would give us more “safe” days. But God decided for us.

But the answer is NOT to put yourself in a state of mortal sin.

 

[Serap]

I am posting because I think a lot of Catholics are not being honest when they say they openly flout Church teaching on contraception. All of the Catholic women here at work have had sterilizations and I am sure went right to confession and now in their minds all is right in the world.

I am pregnant because I tried NFP. A child is a blessing but I certainly do not want another one any time soon. It’s a fact that I cannot afford.

The Church gives you a thumbs up for having a large family but there is no support outside of that whether from day care, to cheaper schools or anything (no offense but Protestants do a much better job helping families).

I don’t WANT to flout Church teaching but I gave NFP a go. I’m sure lots of Catholics out there are not HAPPY about making this choice but there is no help out there for them when they do.

I just want to say that many out there are at different places on their spiritual path. I am just frankly not strong enough physically or emotionally to put my trust in the Lord when it comes to openess to life. I am so stressed as it is by this pregnancy. I am really happy when other people have that kind of faith. I do not doubt it exists. I just don’t have it.

I do not believe that you are in mortal sin. God knows for sure, but you are scared and fearful. God bless you and I hope you have a beautiful baby.

Practicing ABC is not always mortal sin. Objectively it is mortal sin, but not every situation is mortal sin.

God knows this and no one on this thread knows who is in mortal sin.

 

[1holycatholic]

I lived that way for many years – quite recently, in fact. Is there any way you can trim your budget? Cancel cable, eat out less, switch to a cheaper cell phone plan?

Nobody needs a cell phone.

 

[Serap]

I KNOW what the Church teaches and I do believe it’s right. I am not saying the Church is wrong. I JUST CAN’T DO IT. I don’t have the faith for that. I don’t. I did and now I don’t. Maybe that will change.

:hug3:

At this moment in time, focus on your pregnancy. You are growing a life inside of you. Take one step at a time honey! You’re growing baby is you immediate priority.

PM me anytime.

 

[crazzeto]

You should see my Church most Sundays except now that it’s Easter. WHEW! I can’t get any room.

There is no doubt that many Catholics today are seriously lacking in both faith and works. I also realize how hard it is to be Catholic, particularly in a culture which has modernism permuating through every facet of it. Yes, it’s very hard to be Catholic.

More over, it sounds to me like you went though a lot of work to become Catholic. A conversion is never easy, it really challenges you. I was a cradle catholic, but I went through a similarish process none the less. I supproted contraception, I thought premarital sex was A-OK, I didn’t understand why people even cared if gays got married.

I was challenged on every level when the Lord called me back, I’m glad he did. I know that I’m a better person when I do my best to live for him in every way. So in his name, and to honor all that effort you went through I pray you will reconsider contraception.

I know it feels easier, I know you feel a lot more secure with it. Beleive me I know, my sexual partners and I have used shots, pills, condoms and hey… never got pregnant right? Or at least that I know of, I of course can’t be sure how many eggs were fertalized but never had a chance. Contraception seems easy and even reasnoble, but it’s perhaps my greatest regret. I think the same is ultimatly going to be true for anyone trying to truely live for the gospel, and for Christ.

 

[nhylan]

Abortion clinics are packed with women whose contraceptive failed resulting in an unplanned pregnancy.

Contraceptives are less effective than NFP. Contraceptive failure is just a matter of time.

Do you have any proof to back that up?

 

[crazzeto]

Do you have any proof to back that up?

You mean besides the fact that planned parenthood published a report stating that 54% of all abortions are proceeded by contraceptive use?

 

[HumblePilgrim]

Abortion clinics are packed with contraceptive failures.

Contraceptives are less effective than NFP. It’s just a matter of time.

Yes, once I came off it.

Yes, that was being cheeky.

I understand what you are saying. I really do. I do not know what else to tell you. I was not going to sit here and not say anything while you all were saying that the statistics posted in the OP were false and that there were not that many Catholics using some kind of birth control. I know WAY too many Catholic women on some kind of birth control who have their own reasons to be on it. Some with full knowledge of their actions and others who really are suffering from poor catechesis.

BTW, in my RCIA class we had NO discussion on birth control or recommendations where to learn NFP. I however, had already become familiar with Catholic teaching before my class. I did hear some things in class that made me stop and comment but I was told that I was acting like a Pharisee. Go figure!

 

[wanner47]

I do not believe that you are in mortal sin. God knows for sure, but you are scared and fearful. God bless you and I hope you have a beautiful baby.

Practicing ABC is not always mortal sin. Objectively it is mortal sin, but not every situation is mortal sin.

God knows this and no one on this thread knows who is in mortal sin.

Serap, with respect, you are incorrect.

Conditions for a mortal sin:

1. It must be of a grave matter; (violating the unitive and procreative aspects of the marital act is grave matter)
2. It must be committed with full knowledge that it is a mortal sin; (if she has read this thread, she is aware of this)
3. It must be committed with full consent. (she has consented)(CCC# 1857)

Going by the Church’s criteria, janesansible would indeed be in mortal sin if she contracepts.

Jane, have you gone to a pregnancy resource center or crisis pregnancy center in your area and asked for help? They might be able to provide assistance to you.

What did your parish say when you asked for help?

 

[1holycatholic]

I do not believe that you are in mortal sin. God knows for sure, but you are scared and fearful. God bless you and I hope you have a beautiful baby.

Practicing ABC is not always mortal sin. Objectively it is mortal sin, but not every situation is mortal sin.

God knows this and no one on this thread knows who is in mortal sin.

Objectively it is a grave sin. What makes it mortal is knowledge and consent. She’s not being coerced into using contraceptives and she’s admitted that she knows that it’s sinful. If she uses contraceptives as she has described then she will be comitting a mortal sin. Hopefully she will come to metanoia and refrain from mortal sin.