Must a Catholic have a funeral?

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And then why wouldn’t you want a priest to give you the benefits of a funeral mass? You’ve participated in all the other ceremonial masses you could in your life time, right? Why would you bypass the last one you could receive, regardless if your children believe or not? Did it matter if they believed why you participated in the masses while you were alive? Why should it matter if they don’t participate in the mass that gives you benefits in your death? I
 
PatriceA said:
And then why wouldn’t you want a priest to give you the benefits of a funeral mass? You’ve participated in all the other ceremonial masses you could in your life time, right? Why would you bypass the last one you could receive, regardless if your children believe or not? Did it matter if they believed why you participated in the masses while you were alive? Why should it matter if they don’t participate in the mass that gives you benefits in your death? I
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I have disregarded everything everyone ever taught me, not obeyed God, walked away from the church and lived as I pleased for 11 years before returning to the church. I am pretty certain I will be in purgatory. I WANT to serve my time there. I can honestly say I’ve never really gone the distance for Jesus. No one prayed him off the cross early. I don’t want that, I want to serve my time…after all…if I get to purgatory I’m guaranteed heaven…it’s just a matter of time. If Jesus says, “10 years in purgatory and then eternity with me…I WANT to do it.” I feel bad that at this age (49) I can say there is NOTHING I can point to in service to Jesus that will live after me. Hopefully in time it will be different. I want to serve my full time for him…who did it all for me.
 
PatriceA said:
And then why wouldn’t you want a priest to give you the benefits of a funeral mass? You’ve participated in all the other ceremonial masses you could in your life time, right? Why would you bypass the last one you could receive, regardless if your children believe or not? Did it matter if they believed why you participated in the masses while you were alive? Why should it matter if they don’t participate in the mass that gives you benefits in your death? I
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There won’t even be 5 people there. My children won’t go. My youngest son won’t step foot in a "Catholic Church…they are clear about that and I am sad about my children’s choices and hope that they see the light but they won’t be there so it’s a moot point.
 
Irishgal49 said:
There won’t even be 5 people there. My children won’t go. My youngest son won’t step foot in a "Catholic Church…they are clear about that and I am sad about my children’s choices and hope that they see the light but they won’t be there so it’s a moot point.
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However, we are not talking about your children. We are talking about you and your soul’s welfare. You could have just one person or a million assist at your funeral. The amount of mourners is irrelevent. What matters is that at the moment your soul needs it the most, you are being applied the suffrage you need to relieve your soul. Why would you want to deny yourself that which God so generously offers you?
 
benedictgal said:
However, we are not talking about your children. We are talking about you and your soul’s welfare. You could have just one person or a million assist at your funeral. The amount of mourners is irrelevent. What matters is that at the moment your soul needs it the most, you are being applied the suffrage you need to relieve your soul. Why would you want to deny yourself that which God so generously offers you?
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Because I want to serve out my full sentence, I don’t want to “get off” early. God is just I am finally in the hands of a totally loving and just God.
 
******In reply to your question “Must a Catholic have a Funeral?” You should first ask, Must a Catholic have a Funeral Mass. Being a Traditional Catholic (Tridentine Rite), it is essential that a passing Catholic have a Funeral. #1. The merits of the Mass are Infinite, and thus it is very important that your poor soul get the relief it needs should you be sent to Purgatory. (BTW: Most Catholic go to Purgatory. It is a place of expiation for sins committed in this life, but not thoroughly atoned for.) #2. Your body is a Temple of the Holy Ghost. The idea of cremation came from the Masons. You’ll not find any religion from the past which believed in cremation, unless they were godless. Please do not get your body cremated, but laid to rest in a Tomb or buried in the Ground. There is a special service for this burial in the Tridentine Rite. #3. One must not think of a Funeral as something horrible. It is a Rite which deserves recognition by Traditional Catholics as essential. You should be buried in a Catholic Cemetery, which has consecrated ground, as well. Please do not shun a Funeral Mass, and please make arrangements to have your body buried whole and intact, since it will be resurrected at the Last and final judgement. - Pax Tecum.🙂
 
******My Dear Friend. It matters not if the only person there is one child, the Priest, the Server and the Undertaker. The Mass is for the relief of your poor soul. Many benefits are bestowed on the soul of the departed, who needs the relief from Purgatory, which is a sentence 98% of Catholic will get. See my other post. When my Mother died it was a very small Funeral, but I wanted it that way. Just immediate family, and her two Brothers who were alive, Brother-in-Law and Nephew. She benefited from the Mass. She was buried in a beautiful Tridentine Rite Service. She is laid to rest in a Tomb in a Catholic Cemetery. I go to visit her when I can, so I can pray for her and talk to her. 🙂
 
Irishgal49 said:
Because I want to serve out my full sentence, I don’t want to “get off” early. God is just I am finally in the hands of a totally loving and just God.
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You are viewing it in human worldly terms. This is not how God works. The mass offered for your soul isn’t “getting you off early”. It IS part of the purification you will go through. It is through this prayer that you are brought through what happens in purgatory.

You are also greatly limiting God in how he can change hearts. You never know what effect your death may have on your children. If there is a funeral mass, they may attend-- and the mass can be evangelistic to them— God may choose to give them graces for taking one step.
 
I am definitely being cremated that is for sure. As for a funeral service I’m not having one. Flat out. Thanks for the warm comments, it’s not fitting my particular situation. The majority of my family doesn’t have funerals so it’s not foreign to us, it’s the norm.
 
God bless you, Irishgal!

Unlike you, I was a New Ager and then a Lutheran (and then an athiest, and then an agnostic) prior to conversion to Catholicism. While I welcome the Church’s stance on many things, I know I will never be “Catholic” in the sense that I will unhesitatingly believe everything the Church teaches or do everything it prescribes.

It is not part of my family’s traditions to have funerals, and my mother made it pretty clear that decent people are cremated.

To those of you who are telling us that God will bless us more if we have a funeral liturgy in the Church, I guess that someone of my background just can’t believe that.
 
Irishgal49 said:
I am definitely being cremated that is for sure. As for a funeral service I’m not having one. Flat out. Thanks for the warm comments, it’s not fitting my particular situation. The majority of my family doesn’t have funerals so it’s not foreign to us, it’s the norm.
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I know that I can’t speak for all of us here, but, I think that the general consensus is that we care about the well-being of your soul. We are not merely passing along pious sentiments. One of the corporal works of mercy is to instruct the ignorant, and, by ignorant, the Church means those who may not necessarily know what She teaches and may be misinformed.

Irishgal, a huge part of the problem with your reasoning, as I see it, is that there might be a lot of misunderstanding concerning what the Church teaches about death, the funeral rites and eternal life. You are looking at the secular viewpoint about funerals being for the living. What is interesting is that even in pagan cultures such as that of Ancient Egypt, the funeral rituals were very much about the deceased and about their passage into eternal life. If these pagan cultures managed to somehow get it (as flawed as their understanding of theism was), modern men and women have completely lost the picture. In fact, we are probably worse off than they were.

Please, please sit down with your pastor as soon as possible. Again, as others have stated, you seem to be looking at the matter from a completely secular standpoint and not with the eyes of the Church. If God did not want you to avail yourself of the riches His Church is offering you at the moment of your death and at the funeral, He would not have made provisions for such. Please prayerfully reconsider what you are doing.
 
abcdxyz said:
God bless you, Irishgal!

Unlike you, I was a New Ager and then a Lutheran (and then an athiest, and then an agnostic) prior to conversion to Catholicism. While I welcome the Church’s stance on many things, I know I will never be “Catholic” in the sense that I will unhesitatingly believe everything the Church teaches or do everything it prescribes.

It is not part of my family’s traditions to have funerals, and my mother made it pretty clear that decent people are cremated.

To those of you who are telling us that God will bless us more if we have a funeral liturgy in the Church, I guess that someone of my background just can’t believe that.
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We all know it’s not a sin to question the Church’s teachings, but to render them ultimately null in our personal lives is.
I might ask, WHY do we have to go to church on Sunday? But I do it anyway.
 
It is better to aim directly for heaven, come up short and find yourself in purgatory than to aim for purgatory and come up short.

By the time the funeral Mass comes around, the final state of your soul is already decided. If the state of your soul at time of death lacks complete trust in Christ and His Church, how does that benefit?
 
benedictgal said:
I know that I can’t speak for all of us here, but, I think that the general consensus is that we care about the well-being of your soul. We are not merely passing along pious sentiments. One of the corporal works of mercy is to instruct the ignorant, and, by ignorant, the Church means those who may not necessarily know what She teaches and may be misinformed.

Irishgal, a huge part of the problem with your reasoning, as I see it, is that there might be a lot of misunderstanding concerning what the Church teaches about death, the funeral rites and eternal life. You are looking at the secular viewpoint about funerals being for the living. What is interesting is that even in pagan cultures such as that of Ancient Egypt, the funeral rituals were very much about the deceased and about their passage into eternal life. If these pagan cultures managed to somehow get it (as flawed as their understanding of theism was), modern men and women have completely lost the picture. In fact, we are probably worse off than they were.

Please, please sit down with your pastor as soon as possible. Again, as others have stated, you seem to be looking at the matter from a completely secular standpoint and not with the eyes of the Church. If God did not want you to avail yourself of the riches His Church is offering you at the moment of your death and at the funeral, He would not have made provisions for such. Please prayerfully reconsider what you are doing.
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Thanks for your comments, you are a very caring person but it’s already in stone in my will and I will not change it. I do not WANT it. It’s like if someone is trying to serve you dessert after a great meal and you’ve had enough…once I’m dead that’s enough. My kids are adults and we have it all arranged. I do not HAVE to have a funeral and I won’t. My kids will see to it.

Lorrie
 
agapewolf said:
You are viewing it in human worldly terms. This is not how God works. The mass offered for your soul isn’t “getting you off early”. It IS part of the purification you will go through. It is through this prayer that you are brought through what happens in purgatory.

You are also greatly limiting God in how he can change hearts. You never know what effect your death may have on your children. If there is a funeral mass, they may attend-- and the mass can be evangelistic to them— God may choose to give them graces for taking one step.
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My youngest son is gay, he “knows” the church hates him and all that he believes in and…he’s Buddhist. My middle son is atheist and won’t step foot in a church. THEY WON’T ATTEND. They said If I insisted on it and really wanted it, they would arrange for the church to do it and wouldn’t go. We have discussed this at length for hours. I don’t really WANT a funeral. I never went to a single family member’s funeral, not even my grandparents, just too hard. I find them morbid.
 
SonCatcher said:
It is better to aim directly for heaven, come up short and find yourself in purgatory than to aim for purgatory and come up short.

By the time the funeral Mass comes around, the final state of your soul is already decided. If the state of your soul at time of death lacks complete trust in Christ and His Church, how does that benefit?
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I don’t think anyone has the right to judge the state of anyone else’s soul. I understand that most people in our culture WANT a funeral. Our family doesn’t attend them. We just don’t and I don’t want one. Flat out…my God knows my heart and will judge me FAIRLY not off a few posts on Catholic Answers and decide I’m “rejecting” something when I sincerely don’t want it done.

Lorrie
 
siteunseen said:
******In reply to your question “Must a Catholic have a Funeral?” You should first ask, Must a Catholic have a Funeral Mass. Being a Traditional Catholic (Tridentine Rite), it is essential that a passing Catholic have a Funeral. #1. The merits of the Mass are Infinite, and thus it is very important that your poor soul get the relief it needs should you be sent to Purgatory. (BTW: Most Catholic go to Purgatory. It is a place of expiation for sins committed in this life, but not thoroughly atoned for.) #2. Your body is a Temple of the Holy Ghost. The idea of cremation came from the Masons. You’ll not find any religion from the past which believed in cremation, unless they were godless. Please do not get your body cremated, but laid to rest in a Tomb or buried in the Ground. There is a special service for this burial in the Tridentine Rite. #3. One must not think of a Funeral as something horrible. It is a Rite which deserves recognition by Traditional Catholics as essential. You should be buried in a Catholic Cemetery, which has consecrated ground, as well. Please do not shun a Funeral Mass, and please make arrangements to have your body buried whole and intact, since it will be resurrected at the Last and final judgement. - Pax Tecum.🙂
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If my children do bury my ashes it will NOT be in a Catholic cemetery. My 16-year-old son died in 1996 (at the age of 16) before I was Catholic and he’s buried beside my ex (his father) and I would be buried with him. God is powerful enough to change my ashes back into me. I’m not worried.
 
I want to say that this is a really good thread. I am not upset at all, after all my decision is made and it’s final. But I do like seeing other’s views and what they see/think/feel about the subject and how they see the Church in death and burial customs.

I love a good debate so I’m enjoying the back and forth and appreciate the concern about “my soul” but like one poster said, once I’m dead it’s fate is already set…and I don’t need or want a funeral and I am NOT having one.

Great discussion, I wish more boards were posting like this. Everyone is being respectful, voicing their comments/concerns and no one is insulting anyone. Great discussion!
 
Mintaka said:
The funeral is for the welfare of the dead person’s soul, and for respect for his body and its coming reunion with the soul and bodily resurrection (either to eternal life, or eternal death in Hell). It’s not “a fuss” being made about people unless you also figure that feeding the poor, looking after the sick, visiting prisoners, and clothing the naked are “a fuss”. The dead need help and love from the Church, which is to say, from Christ and His Body.

It is respectful for people not directly part of the funeral rite to attend the funeral. It is kind for them to pray for the dead. It may also be beneficial to their spiritual and emotional health. But it’s not meant to be for them or about them at all.

For a Catholic to refuse a Catholic funeral outright is… well, I can’t see any reason to do it except as a rejection of Jesus and the Church, or a despairing declaration that you plan to rot in Hell.

Refusing a public funeral service is one’s choice. But refusing to let the priest (or deacon) bury you and pray for you is a choice against Catholicism and eternal life. I’d rather thrash around naked and covered with meat juice in an aquarium full of sharks, myself.
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I think your emotions are getting carried away and you drifted from a logical discussion to a bunch of judgements. Just because I don’t want something that IS OPTIONAL does not mean I reject Jesus or His Church. I am not having it because it is NOT NECESSARY and I DON"T WANT IT. I accept and love and embrace Jesus as my Lord and Savior, he knows my heart and He will be the fair and just judge.
 
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