My Child wants to leave the Catholic Faith

[Nordar]

1. tell her it is NOT okay. Explain why calmly but don’t lecture a long time. 10 minute max.
2. Forbid her to go to the other services. Tell her you made a mistake to let her go. Take the blame.

Does Jesus forbid us free will? Does he forbid us from making mistakes? She is 19 yrs old, perhaps Jesus is working in her life in his way. Why is it NOT OK for her to make mistakes and learn? We all travel different paths to get closer to God and become stonger in Our Catholicism, how do you know that is not what will happen with his daughter? You don’t.

The person who mentioned the Green Scapular, the prayers to St Monica and Our Blessed Mother, Faith in The Holy Spirit is on the right track. His Daughter is 19 yrs old she is in God’s hands he should place her there.

 

[Nordar]

Hlmem, you’re not help–ing.

Catholig

I think he was exactly right and his post was self explanatory, she is 19 yrs old. You cannot tell a 19 yr old what to do nor forbid her from going anywhere. Doing so is only going to make the situation worse and push her more in the other direction. For the record I am the mother of 4 grown children the grandmother of 5 I know from what I speak of.

 

[Julianna]

I am not going to wrap my arms around my child and tell them it’s okay if they commit themselves to a heretical “church”. It’s not okay, its an abommination.

Just my personal view.

---

and you are entitled to it. I often wonder if the evangelical would say the same on a forum, in that he was worried that his daughter had decided to go to the Catholic Church youth group and attend RCIA. I think he would do all the forbidding and naysaying as well. He would tell his daughter that the Catholic church is heretical and cult, and it is an abomination.

My Baptist grandmother had the same discussion, such as you posted with her daughter, (my mother) when she said she is not only “marrying” a Catholic, she is going to raise any children from the marriage in the Catholic church. Needless to say, my mother and grandmother were estranged from each other for quite some time. It wasn’t until she got to know my dad, that she realized that he was faithful to his church and we, his children were growing up just fine. She loved my father up until her death in 2000. What a waste of years…over religion. Faith that is Christ centered…

just a thought…Jesus is with the OP’s daughter where ever she is on her journey…that is a fact that we can’t ignore.

 

[Hellisreal]

I can see that so far a non-Catholic and a fellow Catholic here has chosen to quote my post and respond to it even after I made it clear I will not debate it.

To quote my post anyway, leaves me in a position to clarify myslef further or defend myself, or ignore it and move on.

I will say this, I don’t like someone forcing my hand to be in this position.

My child will not be in this perdicament because my child will be properly educated in the Catholic faith. Anyone who is properly educated in the Catholic faith would never leave it. Period.

An Evangelical may take the same position as I am certainly. But, an Evangelical can not prove their faith as true. A Catholic CAN.

Big difference.

 

[water]

Hi Folks,

My daughter wants to leave the Catholic faith because she’s been going to church at her freinds church as well as ours and feels she gets more out of it. She is 19 and the love of my life.
My question is "is there enough difference to ruin our relationship be forcing her to remain in my faith. Both faiths follow Christ.
I am at a standstill in my own heart. Help me understand this.

Mickey

“Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not?” -George Bernard Shaw

Hello Mickey,

Your child is 19 and that is quite young. Pershaps, she finds it interesting and all that exciting at the other church. You said that she felt she got more out of it, that is good. You can ask her what she gives to it?

Many people who come to the Church is to expect to get things out of it, but they don’t think about how much they should offer to.

 

[ALLFORHIM]

ALLFORHIM,

No, I don’t have children, for I’m still in my “teens”, however I don’t think that should be a disqualifyer for all that I’ve said. I’d certainly tell my daughter (if I had one) just what I told him too, what other posters have said. Talk to her. Take her out for coffee and discuss faith.

Catholig

Hi,
No it does not disqualify you at all. Sometimes it is difficult to give advice when you have no idea what the person is going through is all. Actually you can come at it from a teenage perspective which is a great thing. I love to listen to how teens feel about things escpecially when it comes to how they feel about what their parents are doing wrong or right. Gives me a great background so I can survive my children’s teen years

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you hlmem, This is what I feel I should do for her and will try my hardest to keep the great relationship we have. I guess what it comes down to, after reading some of the responses, is that there’s not much I can do to change anything other then continue to set the example and keep the hurt inside and give her all the love and support I can.
Bless yo u

She does need to be made to know that there is no “dual citizenship” in religion - either she is Protestant, or she is Catholic. She can’t be both.

As others have said, she is of age, and she can make this choice - but she has to get off the fence - she can attend the Catholic Church as a Protestant and be treated as a Protestant (no communion, no service on the altar, but welcome to listen to the readings and participate in ecumenical outreach, service to the poor, etc.) or she can stop attending the Protestant Church, make a good Confession, and live and be treated as a Catholic - but she has to make her decision, one way or the other.

To Nordar:

Does Jesus forbid us free will? Does he forbid us from making mistakes?

Jesus also does not forbid us from spending Eternity in Hell, should we so choose. Jesus also continues to love everyone who is in even the lowest degrees of Hell. The fact that Jesus loves us is not a guarantee that we will go to Heaven.

 

[Julianna]

My child will not be in this perdicament because my child will be properly educated in the Catholic faith. Anyone who is properly educated in the Catholic faith would never leave it. Period.

Please start another thread on the above premise, as I would like to understand more about how you can deny free-will in a human being, especially your own child.

Hell is real…but I don’t give the devil any credence or credit. Evil is as much vane as it is dangerous.

I apologize if I have offended you. I guess I don’t understand how you hold your beliefs to the exclusion of everything else, when our Lord sent the apostles out to bring those who are lost into the faith.

The OP is hurt and perhaps feels guilty for not being absolute in all things. Whether he knows it or not, he did teach his daughter correctly, perhaps she is out there “looking”, and will return with many who are lost and without any faith. A day her father will rejoice. Right now, she is on a journey. His prayers for her spiritual safety as well as those of family, friends, and the folks on this board, will not go unanswered.

Love one another, as I have loved you. Speaks volumes.

 

[ALLFORHIM]

I can see that so far a non-Catholic and a fellow Catholic here has chosen to quote my post and respond to it even after I made it clear I will not debate it.

To quote my post anyway, leaves me in a position to clarify myslef further or defend myself, or ignore it and move on.

I will say this, I don’t like someone forcing my hand to be in this position.

My child will not be in this perdicament because my child will be properly educated in the Catholic faith. Anyone who is properly educated in the Catholic faith would never leave it. Period.

An Evangelical may take the same position as I am certainly. But, an Evangelical can not prove their faith as true. A Catholic CAN.

Big difference.

Hi,
More power to you. If you can control your child like that please let me know how you do it:thumbsup:
Im not sure whether you have children yet or they are still young, but I have to say I think you are going to have to lighten up(not on raising your child as a well-informed catholic )but on the control issue.

My husband went to catholic school and never missed a single Sunday Mass–for the first 18 years of his life–was an alter boy etc. He has not stepped into a CC(except for funerals and weddings)since he was 18 and he is now 43. He has 5 other brothers and sisters and none of them go to church either Their parents are devout catholics such as yourself.

A parent can be well intentioned but ultimately it will be your child/children’s decision. All you can do is raise them in the faith and hope and pray that they choose to remain.

Im not debating with you just giving you a dose of reality to benefit you:thumbsup:

You do not need to respond to me.

P.S. I have learned that you cannot put out a statement of any kind and expect not to be challenged or commented on. Take some friendly advice–if you dont want to debate on comment you post then dont post it. I have found that out the hard way–trust me

 

[Nordar]

I can see that so far a non-Catholic and a fellow Catholic here has chosen to quote my post and respond to it even after I made it clear I will not debate it.

To quote my post anyway, leaves me in a position to clarify myslef further or defend myself, or ignore it and move on.

I will say this, I don’t like someone forcing my hand to be in this position.

My child will not be in this perdicament because my child will be properly educated in the Catholic faith. Anyone who is properly educated in the Catholic faith would never leave it. Period.

An Evangelical may take the same position as I am certainly. But, an Evangelical can not prove their faith as true. A Catholic CAN.

Big difference.

I have to say your Authoritive Self righteous tone is rather offending do you mean it to be that way?

I have to ask you why DID you post? was it to put us who disagree with you in Our place? no debate. No one was debating with you this is not a debate, we are all just giving or differing opinions. Nor do you have to defend yourself, against what? no one is attacking you, some just disagree with you.

Forcing your hand what does that mean? what position? this is just a Catholic discussion board. You are getting way too deep here.

I really hope you are right about your child no one wants their child to leave the Church, but sometimes God does have other plans.Pride does come before a fall it is always good to remember that.

 

[water]

Hi,
More power to you. If you can control your child like that please let me know how you do it:thumbsup:
Im not sure whether you have children yet or they are still young, but I have to say I think you are going to have to lighten up(not on raising your child as a well-informed catholic )but on the control issue.

My husband went to catholic school and never missed a single Sunday Mass–for the first 18 years of his life–was an alter boy etc. He has not stepped into a CC(except for funerals and weddings)since he was 18 and he is now 43. He has 5 other brothers and sisters and none of them go to church either Their parents are devout catholics such as yourself.

A parent can be well intentioned but ultimately it will be your child/children’s decision. All you can do is raise them in the faith and hope and pray that they choose to remain.

Im not debating with you just giving you a dose of reality to benefit you:thumbsup:

You do not need to respond to me.

Let me borrow your reply so that I can reply … hehehe
Yah, not every well educated Christian (in general) will stay put with his faith. When difficult time and hardship comes, that is when he will know better about his faith. Some grow stronger in his faith, some goes for another direction.

I think praying unceasingly and be loving will help a lot with your faith.

 

[mickey94558]

What exactly does she get out of going to her friends church that she does not get from the Catholic Church?

That is what I am trying to find out, of course from loving chit-chat, but she is not willing to explain that yet. From the response I get I feel that she is doing it because her friends are there at the same Church, although she says that they have nothing to do with her decision.
I found out today, at Mass that maybe she’s not all lost. We had a speaker who spoke about Martin Luther and others who do not have the same powers as those of the Catholic faith since the Catholics were given that power by Christ himself and I think she was listening because that Priest was also selling the Liguori. When the envelopes came around she took one and said that she is interested. So hopfully she is still searching and looking into herself for the truth.
Hopefully there is still a chance.
In the car, on the way home, and since the Priest at Mass gave us the opening, I did speak to her about the differences between our communion and that of other faiths and hopefully got that point across.
She went to porociole (SP!) for the first 8 years so I thought she was aware or these issues but apperantly not.

This is my first time on the site and I find all of you very helpful and want to thank you. There’s still a long way to go and hopefully the Lord is guiding us there, although through different paths.

“Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not?” -George Bernard Shaw

 

[Nordar]

To Nordar:

Jesus also does not forbid us from spending Eternity in Hell, should we so choose. Jesus also continues to love everyone who is in even the lowest degrees of Hell. The fact that Jesus loves us is not a guarantee that we will go to Heaven.

And your point is? Did I say anything different, I quite simply said God does allow us Free will, and does allow us to make mistakes. Or perhaps you have never made any is that it?

Look I never agree with anything you say ever, Mickey’s daughter if she leaves the Church which I hope she does not. She is in my prayers would not be the first person to do so, there are many who have and have returned and been the most devote Catholics.

It is NOT YOUR place to sit in judgement of them which is what you seem to do quite well, you already have her doomed to hell, You in case it has slipped your mind are not God, She is in God’s hands, She will have lots and lots of prayers and YES God does love her and wants her in his Church.

 

[estesbob]

I have to say your Authoritive Self righteous tone is rather offending do you mean it to be that way?

I have to ask you why DID you post? was it to put us who disagree with you in Our place? no debate. No one was debating with you this is not a debate, we are all just giving or differing opinions. Nor do you have to defend yourself, against what? no one is attacking you, some just disagree with you.

Forcing your hand what does that mean? what position? this is just a Catholic discussion board. You are getting way too deep here.

I really hope you are right about your child no one wants their child to leave the Church, but sometimes God does have other plans.Pride does come before a fall it is always good to remember that.

I would say either she has no childen or has no children older than 13. As to why she would want to step in to denigrate the OP is beyond me.

 

[BeeSweet]

That is what I am trying to find out, of course from loving chit-chat, but she is not willing to explain that yet. From the response I get I feel that she is doing it because her friends are there at the same Church, although she says that they have nothing to do with her decision.
I found out today, at Mass that maybe she’s not all lost. We had a speaker who spoke about Martin Luther and others who do not have the same powers as those of the Catholic faith since the Catholics were given that power by Christ himself and I think she was listening because that Priest was also selling the Liguori. When the envelopes came around she took one and said that she is interested. So hopfully she is still searching and looking into herself for the truth.
Hopefully there is still a chance.
In the car, on the way home, and since the Priest at Mass gave us the opening, I did speak to her about the differences between our communion and that of other faiths and hopefully got that point across.
She went to porociole (SP!) for the first 8 years so I thought she was aware or these issues but apperantly not.

This is my first time on the site and I find all of you very helpful and want to thank you. There’s still a long way to go and hopefully the Lord is guiding us there, although through different paths.

“Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not?” -George Bernard Shaw

Mickey, that’s such wonderful news! Don’t underestimate how powerful your example and your counsel is to your daughter. You may not only be able to help your daughter keep from leaving the faith, but you could also lead her to inspire one or more of her friends to convert. What a blessing that would be! I hope all the best for you!

 

[jmcrae]

And your point is? Did I say anything different, I quite simply said God does allow us Free will, and does allow us to make mistakes. Or perhaps you have never made any is that it?

I have made lots of mistakes; that’s how I know what Hell is like and that I don’t want to become a permanent resident there.

God “allows” us to make mistakes in the sense that He doesn’t prevent us from doing so, but He’s not sitting there smiling indulgently while we do these things - if anything, He’s panicking even more than we are, to get the person back on to the path to Heaven.

 

[Sixtus]

My daughter wants to leave the Catholic faith because she’s been going to church at her freinds church as well as ours and feels she gets more out of it. She is 19 and the love of my life.

I know how you feel. I too have been there.

Sometimes we have to leave to appreciate what we had

Sometimes we take for granted what we have. Sometimes we like the Prodjical son have to leave, experience other things, feel the pinch a bit, to realise and come back again

Prayer ‘never give up giving up-prayer to God’!

There will be much rejoicing when she comes back. Look for that day and do not try to force it, else you will only compromise your relationship with her. Just carry on your OWN faith in the way you always have.

 

[Nordar]

I have made lots of mistakes; that’s how I know what Hell is like and that I don’t want to become a permanent resident there.

God “allows” us to make mistakes in the sense that He doesn’t prevent us from doing so, but He’s not sitting there smiling indulgently while we do these things - if anything, He’s panicking even more than we are, to get the person back on to the path to Heaven.

You know what Hell is like? Amazing

Who said God was smiling indulgently?

I do not believe for one iota of a second that God panicks.

You are truly quite presumtuous,
You know what Hell is like.
You presume I or someone thinks God is sitting there smiling indulgently when someone makes a mistake. When I said no such thing and to think God sits there smiling indulgently how absurd.
You presume God panicks, that is so totally absurd.

 

[Nordar]

I would say either she has no childen or has no children older than 13. As to why she would want to step in to denigrate the OP is beyond me.

I don’t know either, we can raise our children in the faith as best we can teach them all they need to know. Thinking they have the Best Catholic Education but one never knows what will happen when they grow into adulthood we can only pray.

 

[estesbob]

I don’t know either, we can raise our children in the faith as best we can teach them all they need to know. Thinking they have the Best Catholic Education but one never knows what will happen when they grow into adulthood we can only pray.

I think its called free will