My sister is dying

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JReducation said:
The bold is mine. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I need them, so keep them coming. I bolded the one sentence, because I believe that I know what you want to say, but it came out differently.

God NEVER allows evil in order to bring about a greater good. God’s permissive will exists because of the greater grood, man’s freedom. That good has to be protected, even when man abuses his freedom. In addition, God can use evil to bring about good and he often does that. However, he never allows evil so that he can bring about good. That would be a case of the ends justifying the means. Do you see what I’m saying?

God does not allow an evil in order to bring about a good. What he does is that in his infinite mercy he transforms the result of the evil into a good, but the evil he does not transform. For example, the murder of the martyrs never ceased to be murder to this day. But God used the result of those murders to strengthen the faith of those who survived.

Thank you for that clarification. I have alway believed that of our loving, merciful God.God has given us free will and it is our wrong actions that create the evil

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
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Questionhaver:
Thank you for your kind words. You are also in my prayers. Your question is precisely why I share my story; because there are many people who mistakenly believe as you have cited. I understand that you’re citing, not necessarily espousing this position. I hope that I can fit this into this space.

If the person is Catholic, the answer is straightforward. In Evangelium Vitae, Pope John Paul II, invokes the authority of Peter and declares that it is always wrong to euthanize or abort a human being. Any Catholic who questions or challenges the authority of Peter to declare that something is always morally wrong places himself in a very dangerous position. It begs the question, how can one be Catholic, but ignore what Peter has authoritatively condemned as evil? This raises the discussion to a whole other level. The question is no longer about the subject of euthanasia, but about fidelity to the Church. Tonight, during compline, we sang “To Jesus Christ, Our Sovereign King.” If we apply Lex Orandi, Lex Credendi, (the law of prayer is the law of faith), then the answer is simple. There is a verse in that hymn (prayer), “To you and to your Church great King, we pledge our heart’s oblation.” I cannot pledge oblation to Christ and not to the Church. Christ and the Church are inseparable. What Peter binds, remains bound by Christ himself until Peter unbinds it.

Catholic law does not bind Non-Catholics. This is a teaching of the Catholic Church. There are many reasons why they are not bound, but that’s a topic for another thread. However, natural law binds every created thing and being. Natural law commands that we do everything in our power to minimize and even eliminate human suffering. However, natural law also says that suffering is part of the definition of being alive. All living beings suffer, even plants. Suffering takes on different expressions for different life forms. However, there is no life form that does not suffer. Why not? Because suffering is built into the fabric of life. It is one of the many threads that hold life together.

Those who say that we are accelerating a person’s death to protect them from suffering are also protecting themselves. As human beings, we suffer when our loved ones suffer. The measure is not very altruistic. The issue is not whether we should or should not try to minimize suffering. The question on the table is whether we have the right to accelerate death. To take away life support that does no harm to the patient accelerates the patient’s death.

Human beings have two kinds of rights: civil rights and human rights. Under civil rights, the state has the duty to provide every person with the protection necessary to live until natural death. I have a right to expect the state to protect my right to live. When the state legislates that there are circumstances in which my death can be accelerated, even though I am not a threat to society, the state has overstepped its authority. The State exists to protect the citizen. When a democratic society, such as the USA, allows the State to pass legislation authorizing euthanasia, abortion and capital punishment, we are authorizing death by our vote. That is contrary to what the State should be doing and the citizens are voting contrary to the concept of democracy. No one ever said that democracy meant to do whatever one wishes to do. In fact, that kind of thinking is nihilistic. There have to be restraints in every civilized society.

Human beings also have human rights or natural rights. These are written into our very nature. Because we are human, we have the right to live as human beings, not as rocks. Human beings often have to suffer, because it’s unavoidable. To live with unavoidable suffering is part of being human. To accelerate death to avoid suffering is an attempt to do away with a part of our humanity. This raises a major ethical question. Where do we stop? What sufferings do we tolerate and what sufferings justify terminating a life or accelerating a death? Parents suffer because of the poor choices that their children make. The unemployed person suffers. The wife whose husband cheats on her suffers. The child who is struck by a bus and has to live in a wheelchair suffers. People with chronic pain suffer. We would have to make a list of what suffering is permissible and what suffering is not. When a person crosses over into suffering that we arbitrarily decide is not permissible, do we allow them to take their lives or accelerate his death?

The issue is not whether a person should die a natural death. The issue is this. It is natural for a person to have: food, water, oxygen, antibiotics, pain killers, love, companionship, and whatever else makes him comfortable while waiting for death. To take these away, when they are not contraindicated, knowingly and deliberately accelerates death.

Notice that I use the word “contraindicated.” Contraindicated is any form of care that will hurt the patient or that will cause the patient unnecessary stress. There are patients who cannot tolerate water, because it is painful. In that case, water is contraindicated. We should not cause pain unless there is a reasonable belief that it will heal. It’s like giving you a vaccine. Injections hurt and the flu shot often makes people very sick during the first 48 hours. To give water to such a patient is cruel. It is natural to withdraw the water. Why? Because it is natural to minimize the discomfort. Your intention is not to accelerate death.
 
conclusion: Couldn’t get it all in and it’s important that everyone understand the moral law.

There are times, when the intention may not be to accelerate death. There are times when the caregivers believe that certain supports are unnecessary, because the person is going to die, regardless. In those cases, one has to examine reality. We are all going to die. However, we don’t stop eating and drinking today, because death is going to catch-up with us. If more than one medical expert, independently, determines that the person will die within hours, regardless of what we do, there is no moral obligation to intervene. We can allow death to arrive naturally. In that case, we are not accelerating death. It’s going to happen in a few hours.

If there is no immediate danger of death or we are unable to say how long before death arrives, then we have another ethical quandary. We cannot accelerate it. Therefore, we must continue to provide life support, even though the person has a terminal condition. Terminal is not the same as imminent. I live with three terminal illnesses. Unless the brothers’ driving kills me first ( 😃 ), one of these conditions or the complications will kill me. There are days, such as this week, when the pain has been so severe that I have missed morning mass and morning prayers. I have to take medications that knock me out and don’t let me get up on time. I still get up and go to my pregnancy centers and I still go to the parishes and preach on the Gospel of Life. The pain is excruciating. Nevertheless, I have a moral obligation to live for the sake of the vulnerable. I’m a social being. God created us as such. Therefore, I have a moral obligation to stay alive as long as I can, to fulfill my obligations to others. I have an obligation to be here for my brothers, primarily. I made vows to this community. I am a widowed parent and I have a secondary obligation to remain alive for my children. I have siblings and I have a moral obligation to remain in their lives. Life is not about me. Those who advocate that life be about the individual are advocating something that is contrary to natural law. Human beings are not islands.

Whether one is a Catholic or an atheist, the rules are the same; because Catholic moral teaching is based on four legs and one of them is natural law. We must live and die as human beings live and die. We cannot redefine humanity or natural law, because we have no jurisdiction over natural law. We must work with natural law. When natural law allows us to find means to alleviate suffering without terminating life, then we have a duty to use what is available to us. Natural law does not say that human beings terminate their lives or accelerate their deaths. Human beings made that up. It is in natural law that any living being fight for his life until death wins out. If we accept euthanasia, abortion, assisted suicide, then why not accept the extinction of the human species or any other species? We fight to save endangered animals of the lower species, but we easily give up on an endangered human being in the name of relief from suffering.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
That is beautiful Bro. Jay. I hope that ends up on your blog.
 
I have received many kind notes from many of you and some not so kind notes too. Thank you both.

I wanted to add a little more on this moral question. When our community was given permission to break off from the larger Franciscan community, it was with a single purpose . . . to gather a group of brothers who would dedicate themselves full-time to the proclamation of the Gospel of Life.

Since we have begun doing so, the devil has been hard at work. He is angry. He does not care about the individual in the womb or hospice. He cares about the soul of the people who make the choices. Those are the ones who make the moral choices.

Satan is so displeased that we are being heard that he is now attacking us (the brothers) where he believes it will cause us to cave, inside our own families and in our community.

As I have told him (Satan), I will not compromise. The Gospel of Life is rooted in Revelation. Every human being has the right to be born. Every human being has the right and duty to accept death on God’s terms, not our terms. We are not the authors of life. Therefore, we are not authorized to rewrite the rules that govern life.

At some point, everyone of us must face either our death or that of a loved one. Christ waits for us to place the suffering in his hands, just as Mary placed the sufferings of her son and her own, into the hands of the Father.

Let us not forget the passages from scripture:

Luke 1:38
And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.”

John 2:5
His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”

**1 Corinthians 6:4-6 **
*4So if you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church?

5(A)I say this to your shame Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his (B)brethren,

6but brother goes to law with brother, and that before nbelievers?*

So today, we hand over the life of our brothers and sisters to the law of the unbelievers.

This is not justifiable.
 
Thank you for clarifying the difference between how God allows evil in the world ;but He is not the cause of evil.My non believing dentist touched on this point recently; as he said that Muslims stone to death a woman for committing adultery—therefore he said, God must not exist!! How often you hear that since there is so much suffering; God cannot exist! To come closer to your own situation dealing with how your sister is being treated;having a brother in Religious Life who is dedicated to saving and respecting life and yet God seems to turn a “blind eye” to your pleading on her behalf and even towards your treatment.It sort of is the story of Job once again!!

I re-read your posts as regards when the doctors can remove, say food and hydration from a dying person and when this cannot be done without breaking moral ethics to preserve life.I thought that you have summed up the teachings of The Catholic Church very well.It is a subject that can be confusing to even good catholics;as they might have a loved one who’s vital organs have shut down,such as a kidney or liver.They had read about the Terry Schivo case and think that the doctors are withdrawing food/fluids to hasten death when this may not be the case.

Another area is the over use of morphine to hasten death;a reasonable amount can be useful to soften the acute pain and discomfort–this is good palliative care.But in some situations the over use of morphine can hasten a death.There is a religious Sister that I know who specialises in elderly care, tries to withdraw the opiate towards the last hours so that the person can go to God in an “active” concious manner.Her and her community pray constantly at the bedside of a dying person, as at the hour of death;the devil doubles up his attack, as he hates a holy death.

Since you have your own serious and ternimal illness,I believe in one sense that this is a grace from God–as in all probability you already know the manner of your death and even a rough projected time span and in which place your death will be.In the night prayer before I go to sleep I pray–I must die,I know not when ,nor where,nor how but if I die in mortal sin I am lost for ever in Hell.Most Sacred Heart of Jesus,have Mercy on me. Now in your case you already know more or less when,you also know where and also how.Sure,these are not a given–as you said “if I do not die in a car accident driven by a community member!!” or similar words.But God has not as yet given me any of these,the only certainty I do know is that I must die!!

As for your own treatment,we are only required to take reasonable care of our health,no one has the duty of taking extra ordinary treatment.This could be the excessive costs,the low chance of a cure,an age consideration etc.Just down the road I had the example of two people where I go to Mass sometimes.The first person was the priest chaplain–he had stomach cancer-went through a removal of the organ,chemo and radition etc.lasted about a year afterwards and died.A religious Sister in the community that the Priest served had the same cancer–she decided not to have this extraordinary expensive treatment and as a poor servant of Christ offered her sickness to God.She lived a shorter time than the priest–I wonder who was holier?(they in my view,both were!)

That was the freedom of St.Maximilian Kolbe–the original soldier was to die but he was attached to his wife and children–a God given healthy and natural bond.Father Maximilian said that He was a priest and had no earthly attachments; therefore he gave up his life for him.God ratified this through an evil person of the chief prison german officer.Maybe by your illness God is calling you to the same detachment from your natural family?I do not really know what my attitude would be if I was in your shoes; but then they say that God only allows the crosses that we can carry–I am a chicken where pain is concerned!! God Bless.
 
May God envelop you in His love - both you and your sister in your times of need.
 
brother jr still praying for you and your sister… karoleck “God allows evil in the world”
the greatest evil that has ever happened is the cross, creation crucifying its creator. the greatest good thing that ever happened or will ever happened is the salvation offered to us by Christs death on the cross.
his ways or so much above ours. God bless
 
Dear Brother JReducation,
I just came back from my summer vacation and i was looking for your posts. I found this one and i am really sad about the news of your deceased sister and the circunstances of how she died. But, i am evenmore sad knowing about your terminal cancer. I am speechless. I found here, in this forum a great leader, a fair one, someone who is not blind by the issues in life according to “modern thinking”, but by what Jesus has taught us how to live and lead our lives. I feel short of words but my heart is heavy with sadness due to your illness. I have been witness of a very personal miracle. Never loose faith. Put your heart and mind in God’s will, He knows better than us. What i have learned from your words is more than what i have learned from hundreds of people passing through my life. May God brings you good health and a peaceful closure over your sister’s death.
 
May God be with you and your family. I am so sorry for the circumstances of your sister’s passing. I volunteer at a Catholic hospice in the city where I live and I have seen feeding tubes removed from catholic patients. The nurses have told me that they are so near death that all we are doing is stressing the organs further because they can no longer digest or process the nourishment. Perhaps that was the case with your sister. At any rate, prayers coming your way. May God bless you in your important work.
 
Did I miss something? I re-read the thread and saw no sign that she has answered the Lord’s call. I remember her daily in prayer and before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament last Thursday and Friday. Amen.
 
JReducation said:
I have received many kind notes from many of you and some not so kind notes too. Thank you both.
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Br. JR, I’m very sorry to here of your sister’s health. Its never easy to lose a loved one. Sometimes, years later when recalling a fond memory, I am still startled to realize that a certain relative is no longer with us in the world. The loss never quite goes away.

And I am doubly sorry that you have received unkind messages from CAF members. I know we can be mean-spirited at times, but this is a situation where such pettiness is beyond the pale.

Thank you for forgiving them. And thank you for sticking with us. Your wisdom is an invaluable contribution to the forums, and I think helps to shape us.
 
I think i was wrong about our Brother’s sister death. So sorry about my mistake. 😊
Anyway, dear Brother, you and your sister are in my daily prayers.
 
for JR’s sister and all the family,

MEMORARE,
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen
 
Oh dear :eek:

No my sister had not gone home, yet. We have been praying for her daily and have put her in the hands of St. Joseph for a peaceful and happy death. She spleeps most of the time. Several times a day she awakens and asks us how much longer. Then she goes back to sleep. She is peaceful and comfortable.

Her condition is deteriorating quickly, since she has not had food or water for more than three weeks. Please keep her and our family in your prayers. It is very hard to watch a loved one go through this.

However, I do believe that God has a plan for all of us. Some how, we are going to be blessed, if we can go through this Calvary and keep our faith. I know that our parents are waiting for her to come home.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
JReducation said:
Oh dear :eek:

No my sister had not gone home, yet. We have been praying for her daily and have put her in the hands of St. Joseph for a peaceful and happy death. She spleeps most of the time. Several times a day she awakens and asks us how much longer. Then she goes back to sleep. She is peaceful and comfortable.

Her condition is deteriorating quickly, since she has not had food or water for more than three weeks. Please keep her and our family in your prayers. It is very hard to watch a loved one go through this.

However, I do believe that God has a plan for all of us. Some how, we are going to be blessed, if we can go through this Calvary and keep our faith. I know that our parents are waiting for her to come home.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
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My prayers are with you and your family.
 
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