My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?

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My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
 
Well you told her it was sinful so there is not much else you can do except pray for her.
 
I think it’s very sad how many Catholics today are poorly-educated with regards to their faith. Look at the high percentage of Catholic women on ABC, how many are not eligible to receive communion! I think most people either don’t know about NFP or falsely believe it’s the same as the rhythm method (which obviously doesn’t work).

Since she is acting stubborn, you can see that her heart and mind are closed to truth. She is going to do whatever she wants, ignoring the will of God. The only thing anyone can do at this point is pray for her. Pray that God softens her heart and opens her mind to truth.
 
But Stephe, her sister isn’t Catholic…so telling her that the Catholic Church forbids it is probably not going to get through to her.

Justin, why don’t you help her by researching the pros and cons of using artificial birth control versus NFP?

Women who use hormone therapy increase their risk of blood clot and stroke. It also raises the chances of getting some forms of cancer. NFP takes a lot of discipline and there is a learning curve, but it’s healthier and also alerts women to changes that they would otherwise not notice.
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
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Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
 
Sounds like, soul saving wise, she’d have more fundamental issues than contraception - non-religious are often more accurately anti-religious, so I think you’d have to sort out the fundamentals first before going for the specific and applied - and good luck with that! It’s a rather steep uphill struggle, I personally find… 😦

And in the end, you may end up looking for some rare opportunity to enlighten. Determination isn’t always enough - in fact, if your sister is antireligious, it can fit certain beliefs inherent in popular anti-religious ideologies, so could eventually work against your efforts… it’s also worth realising that, as the older sister, your sibling may well assume she knows more than you, by age at least, and, according to various popular ideologies, by sexual intercourse, which represent it is a potent source for maturity, regardless of circumstance 🤷
 
I think that we get too caught up in what people are doing. The fact is ABC is the least thing to be concerned about with regards to someone who does not accept Christ. We get into this line of thinking that if someone just stops “sinning” they will be saved. If they don’t accept Christ, any change in behavior is for naught. First, lead her to Christ and then let her work out her behavior between God and herself.
 
George_Stegmeir said:
Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
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Agreed.
 
George_Stegmeir said:
Have you ever heard the saying that you can be right but also be wrong at the same time? She may be your sister, but all things considered, her sexual behavior is none of your business! If you value your relationship with her, and for that matter, the rest of your family, let the subject drop. By pursueing the matter all you are going to do is promulgate hate and discontent within your family- which is a sin unto itself !
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I second this. I suppose you could make an agrument for saying something once (especially if she mentioned it offhand that she was on ABC). But that’s it.

Honestly, I really can’t see discussing my sister’s sex life with her, much less bringing the subject up.
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Click to expand...
Your sister is a married, adult woman who isn’t even Catholic. Her decision to use ABC, how many children she wants to have, and her sexual behaviors are absolutely none of your business. The only people who are or should be concerned with these issues are your sister and her husband, in consultation with their physician(s) or other health care providers.

Don’t try to become a third party in your sister’s marriage. You might be shutting yourself out of your sister’s life. If my lifelong Catholic brother dared asked me about my reproductive habits I’d think he’d lost his mind, and it would be a good long while before we spoke again. By asking intrusive questions and giving suggestions about your sister’s sex life, you risk turning her and her husband away from the Church.

Luna
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
Your sister is a married, adult woman who isn’t even Catholic. Her decision to use ABC, how many children she wants to have, and her sexual behaviors are absolutely none of your business. The only people who are or should be concerned with these issues are your sister and her husband, in consultation with their physician(s) or other health care providers.

Don’t try to become a third party in your sister’s marriage. You might be shutting yourself out of your sister’s life. If my lifelong Catholic brother dared asked me about my reproductive habits I’d think he’d lost his mind, and it would be a good long while before we spoke again. By asking intrusive questions and giving suggestions about your sister’s sex life, you risk turning her and her husband away from the Church.

Luna
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I think maybe you’re ganging up a little bit too much here - and missing her point, and fundamentally, THE point. At the end of the day, it IS her business. We’re not supposed to be just letting people we know (or for that matter, even those we don’t know) do thing we believe are bad for them without saying anything - not if we care about them! :mad:
 
Mystic_Banana said:
I think maybe you’re ganging up a little bit too much here - and missing her point, and fundamentally, THE point. At the end of the day, it IS her business. We’re not supposed to be just letting people we know (or for that matter, even those we don’t know) do thing we believe are bad for them without saying anything - not if we care about them! :mad:
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The only two people who determine the sexual and reproductive behaviors that happen within a marriage are the husband and the wife. If they follow the teachings of their faith, fantastic (the family of which the OP speaks is not Catholic). If they don’t it’s on them.

Everyone else should mind their own business.

No one - and I mean no one - welcomes an uninvited third party into their marriage asking all kinds of intrusive, personal questions and giving unsolicited advice.

The OP needs to keep her views of her married sister’s sex life to herself.

Luna
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Click to expand...
Clearly you should tackle her, wrestle all the pills out of her hand and flush them down the toilet! (I’m kidding. Please down do that).

What else can you do? You’ve done your duty. It doesn’t appear your sister shares your religious sentiments so I doubt any appeal to them would work. Pray for her and leave a copy of Edward Feser’s *Aquinas *lying on the coffee table, and hope for the best.
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Click to expand...
It’s her choice in the end you can’t force anyone to do anything.
 
Mystic_Banana said:
I think maybe you’re ganging up a little bit too much here - and missing her point, and fundamentally, THE point. At the end of the day, it IS her business. We’re not supposed to be just letting people we know (or for that matter, even those we don’t know) do thing we believe are bad for them without saying anything - not if we care about them! :mad:
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But as to be polite we should not inquire into there personal life.
 
Pray! There isn’t much more you can do or should do. And certainly do not discuss the subject with other family members.
 
She will see it as a decision to be made between herself and her husband, and no one else’s concern. However, she may appreciate knowing that some birth control pills can cause early abortions. There are women who, once they find that out, will drop taking them. 😉
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is taking contraception. What should I do?
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Mind your own business.

People should worry about their own souls. Until one has his own house in order he has no right to pontificate to others. (Let him who is without sin…)
 
JD27076 said:
My sister is not a Catholic, shes not really religious at all.

I told her its a mortal sin to take contraception. But she seemed not to care. Shes married and has 1 infant child, girl.

What should I do that isn’t intrusive, but something that I just don’t linger back and just don’t say anything.

She says she doesn’t want another baby, I said, then just don’t have sex…Now I am not Married, nor at the age to get married, so I am not sure what is going on with feelings or the urge to have sexual intercourse.

I’m not sure what to do or say. Can you help?

Thanks
-Justin.
Click to expand...
As your sister is not a Catholic then it isn’t a sin for her. You don’t have to do anything because she isn’t attending church and not receiving communion at the same time? There is nothing for you to do there.
But as her brother, you can simply be a friend for her. No good enforcing your principles onto her for that is just going to turn her away from turning to the church one day may be. Just pray for her and be a friend. That is most important things you can do for her since she is as of you say, is not Catholic. She isn’t doing anything legally or morally wrong in her … She married so she is entitled to sexual intercourse with her husband is she not? Even the RC church okays that?
You love her as your sister but please do not try too hard at telling her she is wrong because she is only wrong via what the Roman Catholic Church teaches and not wrong via Land Law etc
 
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