M
Mystic_Banana
Guest
If you genuinely wanted people to keep their own views to themselves, you’d practice what you preach, specifically by not preaching at all - so you fail by your own standards
- Status
I
In_Training
Guest
I also said I’m not a model Catholic so my opinion may not be completely right, and suggested OP get a priest’s perspective. I can’t tell OP what to do but I’m sharing my experiences of the kinds of approaches that just end up backfiring miserably, despite good intentions. Don’t tsktsk me yet!
M
Mystic_Banana
Guest
Weeeeeelll, you sort of do tell the OP what to do, and the whole “If God really wanted it, he’d make a personal appearance just for her and let her know” bit is just an incy wincy bit in contrast with the idea that, actually we are supposed to be the method by which the good news is spread (including the popular newsflash that condoms are entirely evil :bluelite
K
Kindness
Guest
In the very early first couple of years of my marriage my mother-in-law took it upon herself to send me a bunch of leaflets including a copy of Humanae Vitae basically implying that we were using ABC. I was really devastated by this behavior.
You have said your piece, I would really advise against producing lots of paper for her to read. Respect your sister, respect the boundaries of her marriage. Pray for her and talk kindly to her IF she brings up the subject herself, otherwise do not become the police patrol of other peoples private lives. Pray before you act and ask yourself if what you do comes from love - will your sister receive it as loving? If not, lecturing her will be unlikely to produce the result you are hoping for. You do not know how your comments could be received and it could damage your ability to reach your sister with the gospel.
God bless you.
- Because it was none of her business, this is an issue between husband and wife and to think she was obsessing about our sex life was :nope:
- It hurt me so much that she assumed that I didn’t know what the church taught OR that we would willfully go against church teaching.
- It reinforced previous impressions that she did not care about me personally as a new family member as much as my potential to produce the first grandchild.
You have said your piece, I would really advise against producing lots of paper for her to read. Respect your sister, respect the boundaries of her marriage. Pray for her and talk kindly to her IF she brings up the subject herself, otherwise do not become the police patrol of other peoples private lives. Pray before you act and ask yourself if what you do comes from love - will your sister receive it as loving? If not, lecturing her will be unlikely to produce the result you are hoping for. You do not know how your comments could be received and it could damage your ability to reach your sister with the gospel.
God bless you.
I
In_Training
Guest
Okay, then I apologize to OP for that oversight. I just know how it feels when people insist they know what’s best for you and really, they don’t…because they’re human and don’t have the knowledge of you that God has. So I’m sorry for that. I don’t have the right to tell others what to do.Weeeeeelll, you sort of do tell the OP what to do, and the whole “If God really wanted it, he’d make a personal appearance just for her and let her know” bit is just an incy wincy bit in contrast with the idea that, actually we are supposed to be the method by which the good news is spread (including the popular newsflash that condoms are entirely evil :bluelite
D
Dan_Daly
Guest
Your mother-in-law may have been thinking what you think she was thinking, but then again she may not have.
Maybe she just thought it would be nice for you to have a copy of Humanae Vitae? People who aren’t using contraception are allowed to read it too you know
In fact, it could help you (and me) explain why not using contraception is great to other people.I agree with you that how we interact with people is important. However, I must disagree with you that contraception is a matter for husband and wife and not anyone else’s business. Contraception is societal poison. That is made clear in Humane Vitae and plenty of other Church documents.
Pax
S
Springkeeper
Guest
As I recall, and I may be wrong, but didn’t ALL churches (prior to 1930) consider a married couple using contraception to be their business?
T
Trebor135
Guest
Actually, I’ve read that all churches/denominations considered contraception to be immoral until the Anglicans declared its use permissible under certain circumstances at the 1930 Lambeth Conference.
P
PatriceA
Guest
Great advice!
M
Mystic_Banana
Guest
Well, so do I, although sometimes they may be more right than we like to admit to ourselves - the general Catholic belief is that we are spreading Gods message, and if we follow that message, *we * are how God tells people.
And just to reiterate a general point about the thread as a whole, really the “mind your own business!” argument, as agressively presented here, is really a “contraceptions are not bad really, we use it, and don’t like people criticising that use” argument. Which is a seperate issue, especially in the contest of this forum. The OP was not asking “do you think contraceptives are bad, and, if not, that I should criticise it anyway?” but “my sisters doing this bad thing that I assume we all agree is bad for her as represented by our religion, so what should I do?”
S
stevestone1988
Guest
nope, you got it backwards. Started out as the Anglicans saying “just in emergency use”, if having a baby was risky etc. Then it just broke from there, and other churches followed. All churches held the Catholic position until 1930.
S
Springkeeper
Guest
I must have miswritten. I meant to say “Didn’t all churches prior to 1930 consider a married couple using contraception to be the church’s business?”.
K
Kindness
Guest
Hello Dan Daly 
I am aware of what the church teaches regarding contraception, my point is that you have to be very careful before you jump in with assumptions about others. If you feel called by God to witness to another regarding contraception be careful how you do it. I care deeply about my MIL but I didn’t find her approach loving. She made comments assuming we were using ABC which was not the case. She was very excited at the thought of becoming a grandma. Two weeks after the wedding she met me at the airport and her first words were “Are you pregnant yet?”.
She told my husband a few months later that she was sleeping on the floor until God sent us a baby, which we found funny as it seemed that she was even attempting to manipulate God. Very bizarre.
I am aware of what the church teaches regarding contraception, my point is that you have to be very careful before you jump in with assumptions about others. If you feel called by God to witness to another regarding contraception be careful how you do it. I care deeply about my MIL but I didn’t find her approach loving. She made comments assuming we were using ABC which was not the case. She was very excited at the thought of becoming a grandma.
Two weeks after the wedding she met me at the airport and her first words were “Are you pregnant yet?”.She told my husband a few months later that she was sleeping on the floor until God sent us a baby, which we found funny as it seemed that she was even attempting to manipulate God. Very bizarre.
- Status