On the Tiber's shore

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Ha, don’t worry about your long list. Many of us have had longer. Just do the deed and focus on how amazing you will feel upon being given absolution. Have a feast to conjoin with that going on in heaven for you!
 
I had a long talk with my husband yesterday.

He is really struggling with two things :
  • that I, as a woman, can be ready to give up ministry in order to be in full communion. He doesn’t see why, as he said, I couldn’t simply live out a Catholic spirituality as a Protestant minister (it wouldn’t be that weird in our context. There are precedents, notably a pastor friend who, in a way, is much more Catholic that most Catholics I know, and who famously reintroduced statues of Our Lady in his parish church). I simply said I’d tried, and tried hard, and it didn’t work any longer for me. He wasn’t satisfied with that answer, and it’s not until later that I could p(name removed by moderator)oint the central issue for me : I’ve come to realize how much Catholic faith constitutes an organic corpus, and that you can’t just pick and choose one or two things out of it without being dishonest to the rest and to yourself, not to mention to God.
  • that someone who already is a Christian would want to change confessions. He said that in a way, it was as divisive and as “ugly” (his word) as the Reformation was. I said I was seeing that in the exact reverse way, as drawing the logical consequence of the fact that I don’t see any fundamental issue separating me from the Church any longer, and that I saw this precisely as doing my part for Christian unity. He said, “I guess that makes sense in a way, but really, I’m so angry with the Catholic Church right now for what she’s doing to you.”
It’s not easy. He also asked if I intended to leave him.

I’m meeting with the priest friend who has become my SD this afternoon.
 
Wow, so he really does not want this to happen, obviously.

I do wonder if he is concerned that you will attempt to bring him across the Tiber at some point and he does not like that idea.

I know this is not easy. I dwelled in limbo for 2 years knowing that I was no longer protestant before I finally initiated my own conversion. When you feel something piercing your soul like this, it’s really not something that can be ignored or suppressed. Staying true to yourself is important and I think he will get to that point at some time, hopefully in the foreseeable future.
 
Actually had a good talk with my wife last night. Her sister is in town and is a good Christian and a counselor and brought her in on everything.

My sister in law said nobody is doing anyone any favors by digging in their heels. She told my wife that if this is something I want to pursue, she needs to be supportive of that, but I don’t need to dismiss her concerns either. Fair enough.

My wife said she’d attend Mass with me Sunday so I feel that’s a step in the right direction. She said she’d start researching things from the Catholic perspective and not just go on her preconceived notions. She even said if I attend RCIA, she’d try to make it with me. I told her she’d be under no obligation to convert, but she’d be getting information straight from the source so it might help her.

Continuing to pray.
 
It’s wonderful that your wife is being so supportive. I hope everything goes smoothly for you, and that she will enjoy Mass on Sunday !
 
This may sound crazy to you, but I almost wish I would have gotten this much resistance from my husband. My husband is a relativist. It’s all the same to him, even non-Christian faiths. But, he still occasionally resists things like having the kids baptized. Relativism as a very difficult nut to crack.

I’m praying for you and your husband. He will soften over time, God willing.
 
So I’ve had a chat with Father.

It was rather productive.

We talked about my upcoming consecration (I’ll have to be consecrated and serve three more years, or pay back a huge sum I can’t afford as my church funded my training) and reviewed the liturgy and the promises together. He said he was surprised himself to be saying that, but that the promises I’m supposed to make were vague enough to be fitting for a Catholic lay woman, and that he could see no sin in making them.
(It’s things like promising to be involved in the church, witnessing to the Gospel, respecting people and protecting the secrecy of what they tell me ; the bit about administering the sacraments is also very unclear [Father said it looked like the job description for an EMHC], and voluntarily formulated so that the day people leave the ministry, they are no longer bound by it.)
So I guess I’m good on that front.

He told me to take things slowly, discerning the next little step each time, and he suggested that the next one could be meeting with the bishop. I agreed to that.

He also told me to keep coming regularly to confession and adoration (not that I did not intend to).

We talked about the validity of my marriage, and a radical sanation may or may not be necessary, depending on whether my Protestant confirmation, wedding and future consecration can be interpreted as my formally leaving the Catholic Church, which would render a dispensation from form unnecessary.
 
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Thank you for your prayers. I understand what you mean, and even if it’s painful right now, one of the (numerous) things I love in my husband is that he is a man of conviction. I wouldn’t change that for anything.
 
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Hang in there, everyone. And, as some have been advised, take it slow with your spouses.

I remember listening to Scott Hahn’s conversion story for the first time and thinking that his wife would be joining the Church at the same time he did. It was quite a shock to me when he stated at the end of his talk that she had not converted. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense…she was holding on to her convictions even while she was supporting her husband and his faith journey. She took her relationship with God seriously enough that his conversion troubled her and the changes it meant for her life. And she wasn’t going to convert until she was convinced it was the right thing for her to do.

I hope and pray your spouses are as supportive as Kimberly Hahn was. I believe the best evangelization we can do is living our lives as Catholics so joyfully and so on fire for God that people can’t help but be attracted to the Faith. God willing, your lives will be just that for your spouses.
 
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Um… I can’t seem to get into contact with the parish that received me into the Church. I’ve tried both yesterday and today, multiple times. Would both records of my Confirmation and baptism affidavit be housed with the diocese as well as the parish? Or do I just have to keep trying to get into contact with the parish? I live a few hours away now and in a different diocese, and can’t afford (in both time and gas money) to drive the distance to first request the documents and then to come back to pick them up. Thank you.
 
MiserereMei said:
Would both records of my Confirmation and baptism affidavit be housed with the diocese as well as the parish? Or do I just have to keep trying to get into contact with the parish?
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I don’t think so. Those records would be kept with your Church of Record (the place you got baptized), not the diocese.
 
Thank you. I’ll just keep trying the parish then. At least I know who I need to keep contacting.
 
Fauken said:
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MiserereMei:
Would both records of my Confirmation and baptism affidavit be housed with the diocese as well as the parish? Or do I just have to keep trying to get into contact with the parish?
Click to expand...
I don’t think so. Those records would be kept with your Church of Record (the place you got baptized), not the diocese.
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Actually, it is possible that the diocese has a copy. Different diocese have different record keeping practices. It would not hurt to call the chancery and ask. They might also be able to better facilitate you getting in contact with the parish.

Having said that, your current parish secretary can also request these records. Enlist his or her help if you get stuck.
 
Thank you @mrsdizzyd and @Fauken. I finally managed to get into contact with someone at the parish, but I was told the staff member who handles the records left early today. I left a message, so hopefully, I will get a call back on Monday.

I need to look at this whole process as a small lesson in patience, especially since this is happening because I left in the first place.
 
May our Blessed Mother do what mom’s do best, support and love you four (and any others) through the rough patches of your life. Many, many of us are praying for you, God bless.

Blessed Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful-
Mother and love the weary, abused, neglected
or forgotten among us-
Give your aid to all needing help or healing-
Assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering-
Be with those needing peace-
Console the lonely or brokenhearted-
Comfort the lost or hopeless-
Strengthen the fearful-
Guard the unborn-
Pray for those who are dying or who have died-
Soften those with hardened hearts-
Enlighten those who do not yet see truth-
Help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go-
Show us the way to do the right thing-
Protect those who are in danger, and
Guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
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Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. - St. Augustine of Hippo. Feast: Aug. 28.
 
My wife and I had “The Talk” last night.

Since the breaking point for me was her surgery two months ago, it was inevitably tied up with how I was handling the after-effects of it (never being able to have children of our own). She was more upset that I didn’t come to her about how I was handling things sooner; I tried to explain why I felt like I couldn’t. She feels guilty. This morning, she said that she feels gloomy and off because she knows I’m not ok, and she can’t help like she wants.

She said that she both “knew this was coming” when I told her I wanted to go back to the Catholic Church, and “you sprang all this on me all at once.” She said that, while she would support me wherever I wanted to go, she had no intention of ever leaving Lutheranism. She asked if my returning to Catholicism would actually fix anything, and basically said that, since I have hopped around for the past several years, she doesn’t think my return to the Catholic Church will last. My response was: “Unlike everywere else, it’s not a compromise for me.”
 
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