On the Tiber's shore

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Give her time. Because I had gone back and forth over the years about whether or not to convert, my husband didn’t believe me as well. Once he saw me committing to attending mass week after week, he realized this was different. As to her conversion, pray about it and let it be. God will work it out.

I’m glad she will be supportive even though she is currently in shock. That must offer some relief for you.
 
What a great thread. You folks who are converting are such an inspiration. All of us at CAF offer a big E-hug to you lol
 
It’s good to hear that.

These days, to be honest, I feel like a burden rather than like an inspiration. I’m making life difficult for my husband, making claims on the precious time of a good and holy priest whom I know is often overworked although he never complains, and paving the way for difficult times in my poor parish.

So, a big thank you for showing me the silver lining and the e-hug 😊
 
She’s had surgery. That will have taken a lot out of her physically, mentally, emotionally. It will take time to heal, regain strength and resiliency. Praying for her, and for you in efforts to support her.
 
Thank you, and everyone for the prayers. She has almost gotten back to normal in terms of physical health, and is actually at work currently. She’s said in text that some of her guilt isn’t just that she wasn’t able to give me a child, but also that she has started moving on and I haven’t managed to yet; and while she wants to help me directly and actively, she can’t.

I’m sorry. I must not be making much sense. It is getting harder and harder for me to focus. I don’t know how to help her.

I wasn’t able to make it to the regular Confession time today (which is fine, because I would feel bad about taking so much time from everyone else), so Monday I will try to call and set up an appointment.
 
One step at a time, and God will be with you, guiding your steps. If the office is closed, you might consider sending a request through the mail. They may have someone who checks periodically.
 
Spoke with my father-in-law today. He grew up Catholic and the first thing he said was “alright!” And when asked why he wouldn’t go anymore by my wife he said “ask your mother.”

I think he helped calm some of my wife’s fears and we’re heading to 6pm Mass tomorrow night.
 
I understand. I went through similar things when we discovered I was infertile - the guilt, the sadness, having difficulty moving on when your spouse already has.

In retrospect, this was actually the hardest thing, not being on the same page than my husband. We made it through. There was a time where, when we struggled too much (he because he saw me so unhappy and felt powerless, me because I saw he had moved on and thought him unfeeling), we wrote each other long letters we never exchanged. It helped.

Just be here for her. Moving on quickly can be a good thing, but grief is never linear and there may be unexpected painful moments.

I’m praying for you.
 
I’m not really sleeping well these days, and I if I remember correctly, I’m not the only one on this thread.

Yesterday, Father, who is a good friend and knows me well, asked if I had trouble sleeping at night. I said yes. When I went home from meeting with him, I found a prayer he had sent me in my inbox. I thought I might share it, in case it can be useful to someone else in a sleepless night.

The translation is mine, sorry if the English is awkward.

It is a bit long too, it will probably need two posts.
 
A Litany In The Night

For Your Church waiting for You, her Spouse, in the night,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For Your people, Israel, who listens to Your Word in the night and waits for the dawn of Your Kingdom,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the pagan nations who are groping for You in the night,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the countries on which the night of totalitarianism and the oppression of lies has fallen,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For our brothers and sisters who are persecuted in Your Name and who hide in the night to pray,
For those who are brutally taken away from their homes at night,
For the persecutors blinded by hate who do not know what they do,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For those who do not like us and whom we cannot love,
For those who consider evil,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the sick,
For the people in hospitals who spend this night in suffering,
For the dying who will pass away during this night and whose eyes will not see the light of a new day,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the anguished who cannot sleep and who fear that this night will never end,
For those who are tempted by suicide and whom the night surrenders into the hands of the prince of darkness,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the prostitutes whose love people buy in the night,
For the people trapped in the snares of vice and drugs,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the thieves and the criminals who commit evil with the complicity of this night,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
 
For those who are imprisoned,
For those who are tortured and humiliated in the secrecy of the night,
For the condemned awaiting the night of their execution,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the homeless,
For those who wander aimlessly in the night and who are only met with indifference,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the babies in the night of their mothers’ womb,
For the babies who will never be born because of the selfishness of mankind,
For the children who are martyred,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the blind whose night will never end,
For the mentally sick in the night of their mind,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For those who work and labour in this night,
For those who travel in the perils of the night,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the inhabitants of our parish, our city, our diocese, who are asleep in this night,
For our brothers, our parents, those we love and You protect in their sleep,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the families who are peacefully asleep,
For the women who are giving birth in his night,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For Pope Francis, our bishops,
For the priests, the deacons and the Christian faithful,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For the monastic communities who live here,
For the hermits who are keeping vigil in this night, waiting for Your Return,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
For our deceased brothers and sisters who have not yet entered the light of Your Glory,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
And for us sinners, who in this night are getting closer to the light of the Day which shall never end,
Lord Jesus, while we wait in the night, we pray.
 
OddBird said:
this was actually the hardest thing, not being on the same page than my husband.
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This is the recipe for a good marriage, turning pages while keeping eyes and heart open to where one’s spouse is at, encouraging each other in their life’s journey.
 
@OddBird

So, how many of the rest of you reading this prayer are crying, too? This prayer is so beautiful, so poignant, so utterly soul-striking! Thank you for sharing, OddBird, and please thank your priest.
 
These are all really beautiful posts. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

On a personal note: My Mother and I had to take my older son to the ER today as he had a nasty spill on his bike this morning. We had a talk while were waiting for the doctor to come in after the nurses did their thing.

Well, she asked me how devout my fiancé and I are going to be when she gets here. She was worried that we’d go to Daily Mass.

Well, I explained to her:

Every Sunday, we go to Mass. Every night, she and I will pray the Rosary before we go to bed. We’ll set up a family altar in which we’ll have pictures/statuary of saints and pictures of dead family members for whom we’ll pray for to get out of purgatory and ask for their prayers.

If we can, we’ll do Holy Hours.

At that, she gave me a weird look like I’m crazy and said she didn’t want to know more.

I told her that I’d be more devout; but I’m trying to find a balance as not to strain my family’s Lutheran sensibilities.

At the moment, all I do is pray the Rosary when I can, attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation and go to Confession. Of course, I pray at home as needed, in my room so I don’t weird them out with my prayers to the saints; I have an Our Lady of Perpetual Help on my wall that I face every time I wake up and come into my room and my dresser has a row of Catholic books as bedside reading.

When I get the time; I go to Adoration on the way home from work and offer up a Holy Hour, a Rosary and other prayers for others, various causes, for my family and myself.

I’m addition, I’m trying to raise my youngest son, who has an interest in the Faith; as Catholic as I can get away with. The only reason why I don’t take him to RCIC is that I work nights and I know for a fact my family won’t take him to RCIC when I’m at work.

I occasionally take my sons to Mass, but my mother disapproves because she wants them to go to her ELCA’s Sunday school, both from her religious affiliations and that that’s where my ex wife’s circle of friends are that she doesn’t want me to take them away from.

Both my boys are baptized Lutheran and are above the age of reason, so the Church says I can’t make them Catholic against their will.
The only reason why they’re baptized Lutheran is that my ex wife and parents would have gone ballistic if I demanded they be Baptized Catholic. Heck, my ex wife wouldn’t have even baptized them had I not brought it up. She believed in adult only baptism.

One night at the dinner table, I was teaching him about the proper devotion in wearing saints’ medals; he was wearing a blessed Divine Mercy medal after his “ I don’t want to exist thing “ last week; my father scowled at me.

To give him some credit, he did say I did the right thing when I took him to see Father.
My Dad refuses to call priests Father; but he asked me what else he could call a priest.

Generally at home, my family and I don’t talk religion as we’ll end up arguing over the differences in doctrines, the ignorance they have about the Faith and even their own. Once, my mother said something mean about pedophile priests in one of our arguments. To her credit, she later apologized.
 
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Minks said:
So, how many of the rest of you reading this prayer are crying, too? This prayer is so beautiful, so poignant, so utterly soul-striking! Thank you for sharing, OddBird, and please thank your priest.
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Thank you, @Minks.

I’ll be sure to thank him.
 
Oh, he’s okay. Doc prescribed strict bed rest for the mild concussion as the bike landed on his head after he flipped it. Mainly, his head hurts and just wants his father; whom he calls King Daddy.

Thank you for prayers, soror mea.
 
Yeah. My parents try to be as supporting as their understanding and belief systems will allow them to be. My ex wife on the other hand was a nightmare. She grew up Methodist, left God, came back and entered a non denominational church. She had some weird ideas. She even let witches, can you believe it? Witches, into her home with our sons. Her reasoning: “ Jesus hung out with sinners and He met them where they’re at. They’re good people and you don’t know them. “

She was a classic case of what I call a person who knows the Word, but doesn’t understand the Word.
 
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