On the Tiber's shore

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TNMan - rest assured of my prayers. Having joined this conversation, I remember all here in my prayers at mass- especially asking for God to reveal His truth to each one. I am convinced if we seek and have a true relationship with Him, we must also have faith He has heard our prayer. All we need do is walk the path He unfolds for us each day - knowing that strength comes from Him. As Paul says, in our weakness He shows His strength (no doubt I have paraphrased:slightly_smiling_face:).
 
So, I am going to take a few days off starting Wednesday, but I am going to start refraining from social media, including this forum, today.

I have been increasingly depressed and mentally troubled. Being around people just increases this and has made me feel anxious as well. (I work retail…)

It has been hard to break old habits. I’ve missed Mass two weeks in a row now because I’ve not wanted (dreaded, really) to be around people. I go from pleasant to sour with a single in-person interaction anymore. My wife is the only exception. I know this isn’t a valid reason to miss Mass, I just wanted to give some context.

Old sins and temptations are coming back stronger than they have been in months, if not years.

I fear the radical sanation process falling through because of Father’s retirement.

I am hoping that taking a few days away from people will help. I’ll check in every now and again this morning, but I’ll leave afterwards. I will be back next Monday.

Thank you for your prayers and support.
 
I’m praying for you, @MiserereMei - from the doctor’s office where I have been sent by my HR because I’m on the verge of burnout. This process certainly takes a huge toll, and I sympathise.
 
Prayers for you brother. Something about modern life, especially the general confusion and nihilism nowadays, exacerbates depression (and anxiety). A lot of people are suffering with it. Pax Christi
 
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MM I hope you can get the rest you need and “rest in Him” who is all powerful. Your willingness to seek out and engage with truth ensures that “He holds you in the palm of His hand.” Remembering Paul’s revelation in 2 Corinthians 12:9: …“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I [Paul] will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.
Many prayers for you on this journey.
 
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I wanted to provide an update and somewhat of a testimony to the power of the rosary. When I first told my wife I was planning to become Catholic, she told me that if that was what I needed to be close to God, she was fine with it, but to not expect her to convert. I started RCIA in the middle of September this year. I have been praying a daily rosary and started the Miraculous 54-day rosary novena, which the intentions of my wife converting with me to Catholicism.

The first 27 days of petition went by with nothing really going on. But about days into the Thanksgiving portion of the Novena, my wife expressed a desire to join my RCIA class. She is catching up on the readings and it seems she does plan to join the Church with me. I’m not sure if she’s sold out like I am but she wants us to be united in our faith. But it’s an amazing and unexpected start and a great testimony to the power of the rosary!

My oldest daughter went to mass with me last week and we celebrated mass today as a whole family. She wants to join the Church with me as well. I’m not sure if 14 is old enough for RCIA so I’m going to reach out to my RCIA instructor about how she might join.

Thank you all for your continued prayers!
 
Donald_S, Thank you for sharing your experience. It is truly heartening and an encouragement to me to continue petitioning God for the return of my spouse to the faith. I have found the “disunity” of our faith journey quite uncomfortable and very burdensome. Having said that, it has made me understand my catholic faith deeper and recognise my own weaknesses. So, in my prayer, I tell God I would not have it any differently and trust that He will ease the pain in His time.

Your journey and witness surely is a comfort.
 
Update: Went through the Rite of Welcoming yesterday, and the same extraordinarily busy Pastor noted afterwards when I bumped into him after Mass how odd it was to see me (and my Sponsor, who I usually sit near) sitting on the other side of the sanctuary and at a different Mass than usual. And there were about three pews of us between Catechumens and Candidates with our sponsors at the combined Rite of Acceptance/Rite of Welcoming. 🤔
 
That’s great.

As a convert myself, Mary was my biggest hurdle.

But I must say whenever I have asked for her prayers, things tend to happen.

Very happy for you!
 
I’m planning a small pilgrimage to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC this month and I’m going to spend a lot of that time praying in Thanksgiving and further petitions for my family. Mary was also a hard part for me as a Protestant but I’m finding a lot of spiritual success from praying a daily rosary. Maybe one day I’ll be ready for Montfort, but not quite there yet
 
Here is my intial story that I shared: Please I need advice and Prayers:my wife is threatening to divorce me if I become Catholic
I wanted to bring the conversation over here. My wife and I have started to read the bible together in evenings. We just finished the Gospel of Mark, tonight we are going to start the Gospel of John. I am really interested in what she will think of the Bread of Life discourse. But, some background on me. As I said in my initial post, I was raised one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, with not only an anti-Catholic view but and anti-Trinitarian view and anti-anything-not-JW view. But after many years of prayer and study, God led me out of the JW into Christianity. I began attending a Reformed Church my sister was attending. But after a another few years, the question of Catholicism came and I began to research and pray. God has shown me so much in the last year its been an amazing thing. I now attempt to pray the Rosary everyday, especially since the hardest things for me to overcome were the Marian Dogmas which now I fully believe. But I did all this study and prayer by myself and didn’t let my wife know what I was doing. In part fear of her response, since I had seen an anti-Catholic attitude for awhile and also because I felt like she wouldn’t understand. She eventually found out when she found a rosary and a Catholic bible of mine. This was when she threatened to leave if I became Catholic, saying all sorts of false things about the Church. But since then it hasn’t been a big talking point. I do want to tell her more about what I am discovering and feeling but I know she will just get angry and fight me over it. All I feel I can do now is pray, especially the Rosary that our Lady will soften her heart. I would ask that all on this thread please pray for my wife to have a heart that is soften and be at least receptive to me becoming Catholic.
 
Just read this on USCCB.org daily readings for today…:
Gospel Lk 14:25-33

Great crowds were traveling with Jesus,
and he turned and addressed them,
“If anyone comes to me without hating his father and mother,
wife and children, brothers and sisters,
and even his own life,
he cannot be my disciple.
Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me
cannot be my disciple.
Which of you wishing to construct a tower
does not first sit down and calculate the cost
to see if there is enough for its completion?
Otherwise, after laying the foundation
and finding himself unable to finish the work
the onlookers should laugh at him and say,
‘This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.’
Or what king marching into battle would not first sit down
and decide whether with ten thousand troops
he can successfully oppose another king
advancing upon him with twenty thousand troops?
But if not, while he is still far away,
he will send a delegation to ask for peace terms.
In the same way,
everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions
cannot be my disciple.”

Wow…
 
SoT7, thank you for sharing your journey. I just wish to say I am in a very similar position regarding my spouse - tho I am a catholic. I really can relate to how you feel. As you would have noticed this thread has several persons going through similar experiences and following the discourse is both enlightening and comforting. The passion to seek out truth with our eyes on Christ is what must sustain all of us. I pray that you see the hand of Christ carry you through each trial as I have so often witnessed in my own marriage. Continue to pray with your wife and trust that He who is truth itself will keep both of you in His care.
Many Prayers
 
Welcome, and thank you for sharing !

You are not alone in having marital issues because of your desire to be a Catholic. I can certainly relate, and I will be praying for you.
 
A little update on my part :

I have been on sick leave for two weeks and half now, because I was in the beginning of a burnout. This was due to combining three part-time ministries which are not really compatible in terms of distance and time demands (and resulting in me effectively working twice the time my contract stipulates each week), plus conversion-related stress at home.

But on that front, I think things are slowly getting better. My husband had opportunities to meet a few people from the Catholic parish whom he liked (because Father decided to discreetly step in and make some things happen), and it did help. Last Sunday was the most peaceful Sunday we had in the last six months or so, and the first time I came back from mass in the evening and we just had a normal chat about how it was and whom I met there.

On a personal level, I am still completely stressed out by the idea of getting back to work (as in having panic attacks), exhausted and sleeping a lot every day. I realized I have lost weight too.

I am also realizing I am beginning to need to be able to plan the future a bit more precisely, and to have a better idea of what could be possible for me in terms of ministry. I think one of the most important things for me would be to keep doing theology and activities that are intellectually challenging, but I am not sure what my options are. The next step, once I am feeling a bit better, will probably be to get in touch with the episcopal vicar.
 
SeekerOfTruth7 said:
All I feel I can do now is pray, especially the Rosary that our Lady will soften her heart
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Just a kind word of advice. That sort of language will scare off an anti-Catholic faster than you can blink. We both know it’s God who softens hearts, not Mary. But her prayers are very powerful and help lead up to the action we prayed for…but non Catholics see something like that and think we have deified her. So good idea to try and avoid stoking the fire with folks by being sensitive to their belief system.
 
Thank you, you are right. I should have worded it a bit differently. God softens her heart not our Lady, but our Lady prays for her heart to be softened and the prayers of the Blessed Virgin are much more efficacious than mine. Thanks for the advice, I’ll be sure to be careful with my wordings.

God Bless!
 
I may be needing to take another social media break.

Work is picking up with holidays coming upon us.

I haven’t been attentive to my studies, and with Father’s retirement, my case is somewhere in paperwork limbo.

I have also cooled to the idea of converting recently. I have had to ask myself what do I really gain? What am I wanting? Why am I doing this?

If I accept wholesale the Catholic Church’s reasoning, I am gaining quite a bit. But, I don’t really gain much at all if I remain in a Lutheran logic.

I have noticed that my theological reasoning, when Lutheran, flows obsessively from the Cross. My ethics are informed deeply by Luther’s Catechism. My theological reasoning lately has become confused and muddled, like a jigsaw puzzle that’s been broken apart and scattered around the table, with pieces missing.

I need to read more. I need to study more. I need to beat German into my head within a year regardless.

So, I appreciate your continued prayers.

Know that you are in mine.

Thank you.
 
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